Terri Connellan shares insights on beginning the journey of a wholehearted life with an audio excerpt from Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition, Chapter 1.
Welcome to Episode 20 of the Create Your Story Podcast on Beginning the Journey of a Wholehearted Life. It’s a solo episode celebrating the first anniversary of Wholehearted’s publication. And other significant life and Quiet Writing anniversaries and a birthday (mine)! I share insights to support and guide you in your own journey of change and transformation to a life that resonates and aligns with what’s important to you.
You can listen above or via your favourite podcast app. And/or read the notes and links below. Here are the highlights and the full transcript is below.
Show Notes
In this episode, I share about:
The first anniversary of publishing Wholehearted & the Companion Workbook.
The sixth anniversary of leaving full-time work and starting Quiet Writing.
The beginning of transition journeys.
How uncertain and unsettling they can feel.
The beginning of my own transition journey to a more fulfilling life.
Steps and processes that can help in navigating major change.
What can help us in the beginning stages of a making a significant change.
How my Wholehearted books can help guide you if you are going through major change.
How to get your copy of Wholehearted and the Companion Workbook.
Transcript of podcast
Introduction
Hello and welcome to Episode 20 of the podcast. It’s the 2nd of September, 2022 as I record this and an important time for me as I head into some key anniversary times.
It’s six years since I left full-time work and began to carve out a new, more creatively focused, fulfilling life.
Plus it’s six years since I started Quiet Writing as a website, business, community and concept.
These books were crafted from the heart of a deep and transformative time of change. My whole life focus and work changed. I learnt that change is external but the real work is in the transition piece. How we respond, integrate, shift our mindset, skill up in new ways, live with intention and find systems, structures or frameworks to guide and support us through change. For me these included: creativity through writing, intuitive tarot and oracle work, psychological type personality frameworks and becoming a coach.
I share my personal journey of transformation and transition. And what helped me to navigate moving through such uncertain times in Wholehearted.
So I thought it was fitting for these milestone times to share the first pages of Wholehearted with you in a different way, in audio form. It has also been a valuable way for me to honour and revisit these times through voicing them again. I hope that hearing my words in this way helps you in some way especially if you are navigating challenging and changing times. And these times are not one off. I know I’m going through another big time of transition and change. They’re iterative, and these skills can help you over and over again in new ways as you move through.
Get your copy of Wholehearted
You can get a copy of the transcript of this audio, Beginning the Journey, the first part of Chapter 1 as a download by heading to quietwriting.net/wholehearted-chapter-1. Or head to quietwriting.com/podcast to find a link to the blog page for this episode, Beginning the Journey of a Wholehearted Life and all the key Wholehearted book links.
I hope you enjoy listening to the first part of my Wholehearted book, hearing about the beginning of my journey to more fulfilling, creative living. I’ve really enjoyed revisiting my own words at this special and tender time of anniversaries and celebratory milestones.
Thank you for being with me on the journey, whether here since the beginning or connecting for the first time. It means the world to me.
I’ll be sharing some more solo episodes over the coming weeks and months. They are centred around the key themes of my work: creativity, personality, self-leadership, transition and wholehearted living. I look forward to sharing insights to support and guide you in your own journey of change and transformation to a life that resonates and aligns with what’s important to you.
And now, let’s head into Chapter 1 of Wholehearted!
Terri Connellan is an author, creative transition coach, accredited psychological type practitioner and podcaster. Her coaching and writing focus on three elements—creativity, personality and self-leadership—especially for midlife women in transition to a life with deeper purpose. Terri works with women globally through her creative business, Quiet Writing, encouraging deeper self-understanding of body of work, creativity and psychological type for more wholehearted and fulfilling lives. She lives and writes in a village on the outskirts of Sydney surrounded by beach and bush.
This guest post from Valerie Lewis shows how learning to listen to the silent whispers of our mind can help us shift from feeling fragmented to more wholehearted living.
This is the 23rd guest post in our Wholehearted Stories series on Quiet Writing! I invited readers to consider submitting a guest post on their wholehearted story. You can read more here–the invitation is open.
Quiet Writing celebrates self-leadership in wholehearted living and writing, career and creativity. This community of voices, each of us telling our own story of what wholehearted living means, is a valuable and central part of this space. In this way, we can all feel connected on our various journeys and not feel so alone. Whilst there will always be unique differences, there are commonalities that we can all learn from and share to support each other.
I’m honoured to have Valerie Lewis as a ‘Wholehearted Stories’ contributor. Valerie and I met when she joined me as a coaching client in the Sacred Creative Collective. In this story, Valerie shares how tragic life circumstances affected her so deeply. And how she moved through grief and feeling fragmented to connecting the pieces of herself through listening within. Thank you for sharing your story, Valerie.
The Silent Whispers of my Mind – Journeying from fragmented to wholehearted
My only child was killed at the age of seven. Amongst the shock and disbelief of what had happened and feeling as if I had been thrust into some horrific, unimaginable nightmare, as the days and months passed by, my mind felt so jumbled and filled with chatter. One minute my mind would tell me I couldn’t cope or I didn’t know how to think or couldn’t think straight. Sometimes at night when all was silent around me, my mind would tell me it was all a very bad dream and tomorrow I would wake up and my life would be as it was before and back to normal.
There was one time, though, when a voice, which seemed different and to come from a deeper place within my head and upper body emitting a warmth and calmness which I temporarily felt (as it spoke), assured me I would get through this. Afterwards, I was to wonder if I had actually had this thought or not because I couldn’t determine whether the voice that had spoken was in my head or outside of it.
Life can be scary
We all get scared and want to turn away, but it isn’t always strength that makes you stay. Strength is also making the decision to change your destiny.
~ Zoraida Córdova
During this painfully surreal time, I had a lot of decisions to make, some minor and many major, and there were practical tasks to be attended to. Some of my biggest decisions revolved around the fact that I was no longer who I used to be. Indeed, who was I now? I can look back and realise that the voice within my head, you know, the one I said felt as if it came from a deeper place within me, the whispering voice that was calm, matter-of-factly and assuring, really came to the fore (not sure why—maybe I was just more sensitive and receptive), and guided me in some of my decision-making (such as the decision to file for divorce and also officially change back to my maiden surname).
Of course, sometimes it was a battle, as the internal monologue was overwhelming. It was as if diverse thoughts vied for attention. Thoughts of the past, thoughts about the present, thoughts about the future that could have, should have been and thoughts about a future that I couldn’t really define, visualise or even fantasise about. Fear and an overwhelming sadness were predominant emotions during that time. But there was also a strong will to make it through that existed within me as I embarked on my journey to discover who I now was and the eventual decision to move away and create a new life for myself in another city. I was not to know then that my ‘journey’ was a journey of self-leadership and would involve so much discovering and learning.
A fragmented life
There were times when I felt too scared to look ahead to the future. The future I had envisaged and had been working towards was now a shattered dream. Many of the tangibles in my life were no longer there in the form I had previously known them – my husband (was committed to a secure hospital for the manslaughter under diminished responsibility of our daughter, and diagnosed as schizophrenic), my daughter, our home, our car, even our cat Smokey – our relationship was now different as he was ‘adopted’ by an aunt and uncle and was no longer ‘my cat’ as such. Even the non-tangibles – routine and familiarity were now changed.
I no longer felt whole. I and my life were fragmented, with many of the pieces, like a jigsaw, now no longer there. Would I ever wake up one day and my heart not hurt so much? And would I someday feel happy again, and how was it even possible for a human being to shed so many tears? Would I ever become a whole person again and when would it happen – next month, next year, in five, ten years or never? How would I know, how would I feel then?
Feeling my feelings
When I said I didn’t know how to move forward, not necessarily in a practical sense, but in the way I felt and dealt with my feelings, someone suggested to just take each day as it came. It made sense to me. Instinct told me that to survive, I had to go through what I had to go through. I had to feel the feelings I felt. There was no other way if I wanted to remain sane. I would get through this. The calm, matter-of-factly voice had whispered that one time to me. No matter what the other voices said, I needed to hold on to these particular words and the lesson I was learning, that it is best to not ignore feelings (emotional states).
Somehow, we have to find ways to go through them. Sure, we can try to circumvent them, but feelings are pretty tenacious and can be quite slippery. They can sneak back into our minds and bodies and cause us to remain stuck with hurt and grief or to become ill.
One book, gifted to me by a dear friend in 1988, ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’, by the now deceased Susan Jeffers was perhaps the first ‘self-help’ book I devoured as I sought guidance on how to deal with my inner fears and confront and cope with life’s challenges.
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them—that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
~ Lao Tzu
The silent whispers of my mind—my inner wise Sage
It was some years later that I really grasped and understood that my silent whisperer, the one that stood out (and still does) as differing from the other whisperers, was my intuition. This developed during the late ’90’s and early noughties. I became familiar with energy healing (namely Reiki); explored astrology, colour therapy, crystals, tarot and oracle cards; embraced creativity and journaling; and read many more self-help/personal development books. I also gained a better understanding of my personality as an introvert and thus my natural inclination to go within to seek answers and understand the world and my existence within it. Personal development classes with someone I now look back on as a mentor type figure, and also some spiritual development classes also helped to integrate this realisation.
My calm, silent whisperer does not repeat their initial message – they say it once. Sometimes they don’t even speak. I just have a deep sense of ‘knowing’, or some might say, ‘a calling’, a feeling which seems to fill my upper body. This is unlike the everyday mind chatter or internal monologue that goes on in our head. That calm whispered message or deep sense of ‘knowing’ can occur ages before I’m in a position to act on it. This is to the point that as time goes by, I start to question if it really happened because the other voices have started to interfere and jostle to make their point of view known and dissuade me, or life gets in the way.
Trusting the silent whisperer
I trusted the silent whisperer’s message without question a couple of years or so after when I met the person who is my partner now and moved in with him, after being hesitant about sharing a home with someone. Another example is from 2014, when I felt called to track down and contact the woman whose personal development classes I’d attended over 10 years previously. I was pleased that although now retired and not actively marketing her services, she was happy to work on a one-to-one basis with me providing directional support and using guided meditation to reconnect with my inner self.
Follow the tugs that come from the heart. I think that everyone gets these gentle urges and should listen to them. Even if they sound totally insane, they may be worth going with.
~ Victoria Moran
I’ve trusted the messages of the silent whisperer when it has seemed to make sense, but sometimes the scenario that plays out makes little sense. Life has presented me with more challenges and no clear route on that path. I’ve had to learn (AND am still learning) to trust that in time (maybe even many years later), the road would become clear, things fall into place and the initial messages would make sense.
Who am I?
I can’t remember why or how I came to purchase my first deck (Rider Waite). Or the book that I also purchased the year before my 40th birthday and spent many hours studying (Principles of Tarot by Evelyne and Terry Donaldson) still on my quest to discover more about myself and journey towards becoming whole and less fragmented. Evelyne and Terry say that “it is not so much what is ‘in the cards’, as what we ourselves are able to see in them”. Also that ‘the Tarot is really a set of windows through which we can look at life from a different perspective.’ Two of my favourite cards are the High Priestess and Empress – archetypes which I feel represent my inner and outer self.
High Priestess
The High Priestess is the Goddess within. She is the feminine principle, the Yin, the receptive side. She represents the intuition. She shows us the path to realisation is reached by overcoming our own self-doubts, and by listening more trustingly to our own feelings and intuitions.
Empress
The Empress teaches us how to love. It is love that makes our lives unfold and grow. As opposed to the High Priestess, the Empress represents the physical (tangible) world. The Empress is there to show us how we can learn about emotions and feelings through self-expression.
Extracted from the ‘Principles of Tarot’ book
Floating – by Valerie Lewis
Self-expression and intuition
I feel more whole but keep on growing and becoming even more whole. For a good while, intuitive abstract painting has intrigued me and, a couple of years ago I decided to give it a go. The painting above ‘Floating’ reflects the words of the below quote and combines, for me, the two tarot archetypes:
In this life, your so called ordinary life, you must be rooted; and in your inner space, in the spiritual life, you must be weightless and flying, flowing and floating.
~ Rajneesh
Below is ‘Pink Haze’. She serves as a reminder that our life issues are rarely a monochrome black or white. What is in between those two colours, especially in times of transition, if we learn to listen to our intuition, can inspire and guide us onto a path that is true to who we are being/becoming and to living a life that is wholehearted and authentic.
Pink Haze by Valerie Lewis
My experience has shown me it is not always a straightforward path. There may be a circling back, dips, curves, stumbling blocks and so forth as we journey along this path we call life. The truth is, we are all born with intuitive abilities. We use intuition (hear those silent whispers or feel it within our bodies) every day of our lives, some more than others, but often we might be unaware of having done so.
Through perhaps fear, listening to the many voices (inner critic or ego), we ‘rationalise’ or dismiss what we have intuited. It often becomes easier to turn to others for help and guidance. But ultimately—the answers we seek are within us—and we already know what we need to do (even if we think we don’t)—to live life with a mind and soul more wholehearted and less fragmented.
Key book companions along the way
Just a few of the many books that have made an impact on me and my journey:
Feel the Fear (And Do It Anyway)—Susan Jeffers (1987)
The Successful Self (Freeing Our Hidden Inner Strengths)—Dorothy Rowe (1988)
Principles of Tarot—Evelyne and Terry Donaldson (1996)
The Magic Path of Intuition—Florence Scovel Shinn (2013)
The Artists Way—Julia Cameron (1992)
Tune In (Let Your Intuition Guide You to Fulfilment And Flow)—Sonia Choquette (2013) extract free with Spirit and Destiny Magazine
Healing Grief (Reclaiming Life After Any Loss)—James Van Praagh (2000)
Love is in The Earth (A Kaleidoscope of Crystals)—Melody (1995)
I am Diva (Every Woman’s Guide to Outrageous Living)—Elena Bates, Maureen O’Crean, Molly Thompson, Carilyn Vaile (1999)
Inspiration Sandwich (Stories to Inspire our Creative Freedom)—Sark (1992)
About Valerie Lewis
Valerie Lewis is a multipassionate 60plus pro ager. Through grief coaching and personal growth facilitation, she supports and empowers those who are lost and confused with the direction they want to take following a significant life event that has impacted them and their sense of self. Her interests include being an intuitive reader, Reiki and crystals practitioner and avid creative dabbler.
Quiet Writing is on Facebook,Instagram and Twitter so keep in touch and interact with like-minded and kindred souls in the Quiet Writing community. Look forward to connecting with you and inspiring your wholehearted story!
Other women’s stories helped me on my journey to wholehearted living and have so much to offer you. Telling your story can be healing and also light the way for others.
First up, here is the most amazing group of women – authors of Stories of Wholehearted Living guest posts on Quiet Writing.
As I went through my journey to living more wholeheartedly, I wanted to hear other women’s voices. Feeling alone and only hearing my voice, it was important to hear what other women had been through. I wanted to know what helped them to shift and integrate life experiences and learning towards living more fully. And I wanted to share this with other women to inspire their journeys and wholehearted lives.
In the middle of 2017, when I was also writing the first draft of my Wholehearted book, I reached out to women I knew. I offered women in my community the opportunity to step forward to write their story.
‘Wholehearted’ emerged as a focus when listening to a Magic Lessons podcast with Elizabeth Gilbert speaking to Mark Nepo. They chat with Cecilia, who lost heart about her writing because of not being accepted into MFA programs. Mark Nepo reads from his poem Breaking Surface which begins ‘Let no one keep you from your journey.’
My book Wholehearted and the Stories of Wholehearted Living all centre around this theme of getting to what is important and not letting others or ourselves stop us. They are women’s stories and voices sharing experiences of challenge, transition, insight and how they moved through to claim wholeness, creativity and strength.
This body of women’s stories has grown over the past few years since then. I’m working on stories with new authors whose stories are imminent. The invitation is always open. The guest posting is a supported writing experience. I bring my writing, teaching, coaching and editing skills together to help you craft your draft into a published story you can feel proud of.
How other women’s stories helped mine
As I was writing Wholehearted, I revisited these stories shared and crafted together. Some feature in the Wholehearted book. These women’s stories and voices inspire me each day, helping me see common connections in experiences. I hope they can help you too because it supports us all to hear other women’s experiences. We feel less alone when we can read another’s story that connects to ours.
Reading of another’s journey through challenging times can give us hope and practical tips. Each author also shares the books and other influences that provided women and insight as they moved towards feeling more whole and wholehearted.
These women’s stories share common themes and strategies like:
how to listen to our inner voice.
the learning from and working through grief and trauma.
how to write our way through and journey with writing.
what transition looks like.
the resources and learning that can help us gain strength and insight.
how art can help us and others heal.
practical strategies to get back to what matters and centre it in our lives.
how we deal with the toughest challenges in our lives.
Each story tells the author’s journey over time, moving through the challenging middle time of change towards a fuller life.
Turning points in our lives
There are often turning points in our lives when transition takes hold and our lives shift.
For me, it was not being given the opportunity to do a job I felt well suited for in a very changeable work environment where I was struggling to find my place. It sent a powerful message about being out of place and lost with the gap in alignment between myself and the organisation growing. After that, so much changed, and I reached out to a coach for help to make a journey of transition from the long-term government role to a new life. This is the story I share in my Wholehearted book.
Wholehearted story author Heidi Washburn tells of travelling home one day when she experiences a voice speaking to her.
A quiet, gentle but firm voice, not just a thought.
‘I don’t want to do this anymore.‘
What?
‘I said!I don’t want to do this anymore.‘
What do you mean? You have to. You just got the business where you want it. You have staff, an office and now you can do the more creative work. Isn’t that what you wanted?
That was the end of the conversation. Or so I thought.
After that night, after that very moment, everything changed, but so quietly and slowly I hardly noticed. Of course, I was the one deciding. However, I didn’t know where I was going or what the path was. Deep change doesn’t come with a check-list or a schedule. And there is no guarantee that things will work out for the best.
Reading other women’s stories can light the way and help us not feel so alone. Each story offers an experience you can relate to and learn from.
Lynn Hanford-Day tells in Breakdown to Breakthrough of getting to the point of a breakdown before making change. Her sacred geometry and mandala art became the way through, and this continues as a sacred creative practice in her life. You can see her beautiful work and process on Instagram.
Katherine Bell went through a huge life transition, leaving behind her country, job and marriage after gaining courage from reading ‘David Whyte’s Crossing the Unknown Sea’. She shows us Our Heart Always Knows the Way.
Penelope Love tells her story of her Journey to Write Here and how writing in various forms has helped her navigate so much wisely.
Sally Morgan tells a story of Writing the Way Through and trusting her writing practice in the seasons of her life, especially when she loses her voice for an extended time.
Bek Ireland goes on personal retreats in her own town to shape the quiet she craves and to hear her inner wisdom. She tells her story in The courageous magic of a live unlived.
Shalagh Hogan explains how she gathers her lessons over time, doing the hard inner work and integrating learning to shape wholehearted Creative Soul Living.
Many women form their versions of what wholehearted living looks like to them with their own language, like Sylvia Barnowski’s Maps to Self. These powerful insights from other women’s stories help shape our journey to wholehearted living.
Thank you to these women for stories shared on Quiet Writing
Thank you for sharing your wholehearted story, creativity, life hacks, special reads and learning from challenging times to inspire our journeys. You’ve all helped mine immensely and you’re stitched into the pages of Wholehearted.
📖 Head to Stories of Wholehearted Living to read more about the project and the guest posts. Or click on the individual names of authors above. ✍️ If you would like to contribute as a guest post author, pop over to Wholehearted Stories to read the invitation.
Having left her paralegal role and with some newly freed up time, a woman seeks to engage more deeply with her personality, creativity and intuitive skills and self as a guide for the future.
Cora Pacheco joined the Sacred Creative Collective for community and support in going deeper on her intuitive practices. She was seeking clarity on where these important skills could take her in a new phase of life. Building on personality insights, Cora traversed realms of archetypes and shadow work to deepen her intuitive knowledge for herself and for others.
I asked alumni from the Sacred Creative Collective to share their experiences and how group coaching contributed to self-understanding and future directions. Cora took the time to reflect on her journey in life and the Sacred Creative Collective via these interview questions. I am grateful to Cora for sharing her wisdom and learning. Cora’s journey shows how working with a coach and a group can help us embrace the creative and intuitive sides of our personality in a deeper way and without fear.
Enjoy and may Cora’s story inspire your own intuitive search for wisdom!
Can you please tell us a little about yourself and your transition journey? What led you to want to make a deeper, more creative shift in your life?
Five years ago when I was 50, I left my profession as a paralegal prosecutor to stay at home as a full-time caregiver to my children, one of whom has a developmental disability. I was burned out and needed to focus on priorities. Then, two years ago, in a serendipitous development, my daughter moved in with her much-loved and fun support worker. Suddenly, my life changed again, and I had time to rest, re-group and decide what was next. I had delved into abstract painting already but I wanted to set some goals and have some accountability, as I find it difficult to keep myself motivated and moving forward with projects. Sacred Creative Coaching came at just the right time for me to explore some goals and how to move forward.
What are some of the challenges you have faced when it comes to living in alignment with your creative desires and aims?
As an INFJ, (which I discovered whilst delving into Personality Stories with Terri), I need quiet time alone to recharge and a personally attuned process which helps “set me up” for creative work. It seems that I need a lot of free, open time (during which I can read inspirational material, pull some tarot cards or delve into my personal astrology, for example) in order to inspire my creative juices. For me, it’s easy to let my responsibilities take over and just not find the time to be creative or, as is often the case, I remain in research and learning mode without much output. I have come to realize that self-expression and creativity are important components in my life, but I do seem to need help with keeping myself on track and focused.
Can you please describe your focus now and how you are working more in line with what is sacred and creative for you?
I have developed my morning routine which includes coffee time, reading, journaling, sometimes including dreamwork, and sometimes pulling tarot cards for myself. I’ve noticed that I need to be inspired and then I feel I can create something or share something; for example, a tarot reading for the collective, on my Instagram page. I also aim to get out for a walk every day, sometimes in nature. After completing the Sacred Creative Collective program, I started a business as a tarot reader, as I was enjoying delving into the card meanings and using my intuitive abilities to deepen my spiritual practice. This was a big step for me, fully “stepping out of the spiritual closet”, and letting myself be seen. I created a website for the business, known as Eagle and Star Tarot and spend time writing occasional blogposts and Instagram posts for the business.
What helped you to develop your skills and new/renewed focus?
Over the last few years, I’ve taken several courses, including obtaining a certificate as a Positive Psychology Coach from the Wholebeing Institute, and courses in tarot. I also did the Personality Stories with Terri, as already mentioned. During the Sacred Collective Coaching program, one of my goals was to deepen my knowledge of tarot. One of the things I realized as I went through the collective coaching process and working with Terri, as funny as it may sound, is that it’s ok to like what you like, even though others may find it weird or unappealing. It also helped me to explore some of my limiting beliefs and shadow tendencies, like people pleasing, which keep me from moving forward and stepping fully into my personal power.
What does creative transition look like in your life now and what are you proud of?
My creative transition has been about recognizing that I actually am a creative being (we all are!), and that being creative in some form, whether it’s doing abstract painting or writing a blog or Instagram post, is good for and necessary for me. I’m proud of myself for being someone who is curious and a lifetime learner and for taking the time to work on my personal development through the courses and coaching that I’ve taken.
What are your next steps?
My next steps are to continue working on building my community on Instagram at Eagle and Star Tarot, sharing insights and readings, as well as growing my business as a reader. I also want to continue doing things that I enjoy such as walking in the woods, day-tripping and hopefully more travel.
Cards from The Wild Unknown Tarot deck
Thank you for sharing your sacred creative story with us, Cora!
And for the images curated from your intuitive journey, story and business.
If you would like to shape your sacred creative life with the help of a coach and the camaraderie of a community, I would love to support you. You can find out more about the Sacred Creative Collective here.
The Sacred Creative Collective is current open for enrolments with an early bird opportunity until midnight Saturday 20 February 2021 AEDT.
If now doesn’t feel like the right time, get on the waitlist to hear about the next round of the Collective. We’d love you to join us! Places are limited. Get on the Waitlist to be the first to know. You also get Exclusive Early Bird access and save!
In France, a woman seeks space and a way to slow down and reconnect with her creative energy and many passions. Elizabeth Milligan joined the Sacred Creative Collective for community and support in getting clarity and focus on her creative spirit and projects.
Elizabeth has undertaken deep and reflective inner work in the Sacred Creative Collective. Committed to personal growth, she has worked to understand and focus her naturally expansive personality. Finding heart-centred frameworks and structure has been key to honing in how to shape and finish her creative projects.
I asked alumni from the Sacred Creative Collective to share their experiences and how group coaching contributed to self-understanding and future directions. Elizabeth took the time to reflect on her journey in life and the Sacred Creative Collective via these interview questions. I am so grateful to Elizabeth for sharing her wisdom and insights. Being a group coaching program, community and collective wisdom is an integral element of the learning and process. Elizabeth has been a passionate contributor, sharing her insights and learning to shed light on her own journey and to help others alongside her. As she does in this interview!
Enjoy the read and may it inspire your sacred creative life!
Can you please tell us a little about yourself and your transition journey? What led you to want to make a deeper, more creative shift in your life?
I’m someone who has been searching for something my whole life. I never really knew what that was so I ended up chasing new jobs, new careers, moving to new countries, learning new languages. I was generally always looking for something different, exciting, new. I was always learning and I’m still constantly learning. I’m a very curious person and this can lead to many avenues opening up for exploration. It can also become overwhelming and unsettling though, and I think this was what was happening to me. I needed to stop. To calm down, slow down and get back to my centre. To find what it was that was really important to me and put my focus there.
I took a sabbatical of sorts when I accepted a year-long house-sit for an old French farmhouse in the countryside. It was my chance to stop, slow down and centre myself. Through doing this I started to rediscover my sense of play and discovery and this came out in creative ways. Writing, blogging, photography, collage-making, painting, baking, potion-making. Living closely with nature, hiking the fields, swimming in the rivers, following the cycles of the moon and the seasons instilled in me a deep sense of calm and well-being and for the first time in a long time I was able to take a step back and assess things. I realised I had lost important parts of myself. My creative energy had been focused in other areas and I wanted to get this back, to rediscover those lost parts of myself and bring them into my daily life, whilst also letting go of the parts of myself that were not really me.
What are some of the challenges you have faced when it comes to living in alignment with your creative desires and aims?
When you choose to live more in alignment with your desires and aims there is always a certain amount of letting go that is necessary. I’ve always found it difficult to let go. I have the tendency to hold onto things “just in case” which also goes for knowledge, jobs I’ve done in the past, past experiences. I’ve found it difficult to commit to a deeper, more creative life because I’ve doubted that it would be sustainable. This has made me want to hold on to jobs or opportunities even if they’re not the best situation for me in terms of my well-being. So it’s been a case of two steps forward and one step back. However, the more I am able to commit to and trust in my creative projects and way of life, the more I am able to let go. It’s a slow process but necessary if we are to make space for those things we are more aligned with.
Another obstacle was to do with society and the culture of what constitutes “real work”. Although I’ve never gone down the conventional route, I’ve still found it hard to be supportive of my own creative desires and aims. I feel like I’ve looked at myself and judged myself through a lens that is not my own. It’s an external lens that I’ve adopted as my own and judged myself through. It’s harsh and it’s self-sabotaging so this has been an interesting challenge to overcome as I never before realised that most of the blocks I faced were self-made.
Can you please describe your focus now and how you are working more in line with what is sacred and creative for you?
My current focus is on bringing together my knowledge as a trained aromatherapist and my love of art and painting in a more sustainable way. I love creating calming rituals around essential oils and strongly believe that bringing ritual and scent together can be a beautiful healing experience and one that creates a wonderful sense of space and calm for our creative work. I’m working more in line with what is sacred and creative for me by allowing myself to work more intuitively and using my relationship with nature to inspire and guide me.
What helped you to develop your skills and new/renewed focus?
For a long time I felt kind of splattered, where I couldn’t get focus and was jumping around through different projects but not giving anything my full attention. It felt like I had to choose and I didn’t want to as everything felt important to me, but the result was a lot of procrastination and never getting anything done.
I started working with Terri last year because the idea of living a sustainable, sacred creative life was really important to me. I just had no idea where to start. Through following Terri’s programme I realised a lot about myself. I became able to accept all the parts of myself that felt they were pulling me in different directions and start to see how these parts can support each other and work together if I give myself the right framework and enough freedom to be myself.
Looking at personality type (I’m INFP), archetypes (Creator/Alchemist), tendencies (I’m a Rebel of course) and many other areas really led me on a deep journey of discovery and one that will continue over time. It allowed me to take a deep breath, lay everything out in front of me, and start to see where things could fit together and how my different types and tendencies would support me. I now feel more able to bring things together in my own way through my own unique view and experience and I now have the confidence to move forward with my ideas.
What does creative transition look like in your life now and what are you proud of?
I have more freedom to move forward with the projects I want to work on. I’m able to step out of the confines of society (and my own self-limiting beliefs) and more closely live the life I want. I’ve gathered up the lost parts of myself and welcomed them back into my life, feeling bolder and more fully able to embrace them as I move forward. I’m proud of the deep work I’ve done to get to know myself better and of all the skills I’ve learned through flexing my creative muscles – painting, photography, writing, blogging. Most of all I’m proud of not giving up on myself. Of listening to my inner voice as it softly called me and nudged me in the right direction, allowing me to find my way home.
What are your next steps?
My next steps are to finish my new website where I bring my art and aromatherapy together. There is also a survey on there for a research project I’m working on around combining ritual and scent. I’d like the website to house a working portfolio of my artwork – nothing too finished and polished but more a place for discussion and self-realisation. And towards the end of the year I hope to open up slots for online consultations to help others choose and safely use essential oils in their creative practice.
Thank you for sharing your sacred creative story with us, Elizabeth!
And for the beautiful images curated from your art and life story.
If you would like to shape your sacred creative life with the help of a coach and the camaraderie of a community, I would love to support you. You can find out more about the Sacred Creative Collective here.
The Sacred Creative Collective is current open for enrolments with an early bird opportunity until midnight Saturday 20 February 2021 AEDT.
You can connect with Elizabeth on Instagram and her beautiful website is HERE! You can also read Elizabeth’s Wholehearted StoryMy wild soul is calling here.
In London, a creative soul finishes her corporate role and seeks ways to blend her many passions into a new way to live and thrive. Valerie Lewis joined the Sacred Creative Collective in February 2020 for support and community in shaping her unique creative transition and vision.
It’s been inspiring hearing how Valerie has embraced the many diverse creative dimensions of her life and found focus in taking them forward. With commitment and step by step actions, she is negotiating her life shift positively, bringing the threads of her body of work over time together.
I asked alumni from the Sacred Creative Collective to share their experiences and how group coaching contributed to self-understanding and their future directions. Valerie reflected on her journey in life and the Sacred Creative Collective via these interview questions. I am so grateful to Valerie for taking the time to share her wisdom and insights from her transition. Being a group coaching program, the community and collective wisdom is an integral element of the learning and process. It was so wonderful to have Valerie as a vital part of the group sharing her special brand of wisdom and gaining strength and skill for the onward journey. And to be able to share her sacred insights here with you.
Enjoy the interview with Valerie! May it inspire you.
Can you please tell us a little about yourself and your transition journey? What led you to want to make a deeper, more creative shift in your life?
My current transition journey started about 2 years ago, as I became more and more conscious that I was heading towards the age of 60. Aspects of my day job were moved to a different department and my role had become less meaningful; and the beginning of last year when I started on a group programme with a Web Designer & Digital Strategist in learning how to revamp my website – I found myself withdrawing somewhat from the programme as I had a deep urge to ‘go within’, reflect and do some deep thinking about what I wanted for myself in the 3rd phase of my life, which would also mean some changes to the purpose of my website, what it reflected and who it was aimed at/served.
What are some of the challenges you have faced when it comes to living in alignment with your creative desires and aims?
One of the main challenges I believe I have faced, is coming to terms with the fact that I am multi-passionate.
In my early 30’s I consciously made the decision not to climb the corporate career ladder. Mainly because deep down inside of me it just didn’t appeal. I wanted to feel free to pursue or find my “passion” outside of the day job. This decision through the next 20 and more years caused me a lot of internal anguish as I often thought there was something wrong with me for being so undecided and perhaps coming across as flaky/a lost soul.
Outside of my day jobs, I threw myself into undertaking courses, lots of reading, and dabbling in varied interests from, introductory counselling, interior design, colour therapy, personal styling, energy healing and holistic therapies, working with my intuition alone and through attending a few spiritual development classes, and with tarot/oracle cards and providing intuitive readings, some life coaching, and over a 10 year period or so, also making and selling my craftwork and bead jewellery. All with the aim of trying to fit with the then societal norm of finding a one true passion. I realise I don’t fit so neatly into any box. It’s taken me a long time to accept and feel truly comfortable with this fact.
I came across a quote a couple of years ago, and it so resonates, as I realise that over the years that is what I have been doing (following the tugs that come from my heart)!
“Follow the tugs that come from the heart. I think that everyone gets these gentle urges and should listen to them. Even if they sound totally insane, they may be worth going with”. ~ Victoria Moran
Naturally, I can’t realistically follow all my passions at the same time. Some I’ve learnt (and still learning) to blend together and refine to represent who I authentically am and what I have to offer/support others with, whilst some passions will remain in the hobby sphere. But, I am always learning. That is a huge part of who I am.
Can you please describe your focus now and how you are working more in line with what is sacred and creative for you?
My focus now, is to provide a healing, empowering, Personal Growth Facilitation/Life Transitions Coaching service – primarily for people who have experienced a significant life change (such as loss of a child or someone else dear to them, redundancy, relationship breakdown etc) – which incorporates and blends some of my interests (such as Reiki, meditation, mindfulness, journaling, vision collage work and maybe in the future – depending on how comfortable I feel with Covid-19 and health/safety measures – massage therapy). Also to make sure I build in time for my creative craft based passions.
What helped you to develop your skills and new/renewed focus?
My focus has been renewed following deep reflection and also being made redundant from my full-time corporate role at the beginning of this year. Leading up to the redundancy, I was aware that I wanted some support for what I wanted to do with my life coaching and website post redundancy, but wasn’t quite sure of what that might look like and where it might come from.
What helped me was attending a small intimate one day goal setting workshop hosted by Sylvi Hussain (Transformational Coach) at the beginning of the new year. This led to more reflecting and I felt within, that once I left employment, and attempted to give new structure to a new way of living, I would like some support with this and also to be held accountable, as I developed and enhanced some skills, and further give shape and definition to my vision and goals. In a most serendipitous way Terri’s Sacred Creative Collective answered my call, providing me with the support and community I felt I needed to be in action!
What does creative transition look like in your life now and what are you proud of?
I would say creative transition is for me, as described above. Through the Sacred Creative Collective, I became more familiar with the concept of ‘self-leadership’ through Terri’s presentations and group coaching sessions, and in many ways I have been practising this (i.e. striving to live in accordance with my values, getting to know who I was through various modalities such as oracle/tarot, astrology and numerology and a basic understanding of my personality type, etc), but this was reinforced and greatly enhanced during my time in the Sacred Creative Collective.
It has been a long journey and I am most proud of listening to my introverted intuitive self, even when I doubted it and felt confused and being true to myself, and knowing when to reach out to others (who are ahead of me in their journey) for support and guidance when I need it. It was also good to have it reaffirmed that there is nothing wrong with being multi-passionate and not fitting neatly into anyone box, through the other women I met in the Collective who had all led interesting and varied lives and were also going through a similar transitional journey leading to a life that was more enriched and meaningful to them through pursuit of their passions.
What are your next steps?
Although I certified as a Life Coach back in 2006 it is an area I have not consistently focused on, and so much has changed since then in the coaching world (back then, for example, niching was not a thing, nor social media as we now know it). So at the moment a lot of my time has been spent getting myself up to date on what is happening in the coaching world, getting accepted and listed as a coaching partner on a digital community website for the over 50’s, working on a client welcome pack, refining wording for my offering, etc and before the year ends look at how I can use my Instagram account to promote and market my services and get paying clients and may seek coaching for this aspect.
I also have some personal creative projects to undertake (i.e. a couple of abstract paintings to do for my living room wall, selling off the rest of my handmade jewellery stock etc) and more writing – for my own blog and a few guest posts and email newsletter. A neighbour also gave me a large bag full of dried lavender….so I’ve lots of lavender sachets to make for Christmas stocking fillers! Using the goals and actions template from my time with the Sacred Creative Collective I am reminded of my overall vision and goals for my business and personal life, and strive to set actions and review and update every two weeks.
Thank you for sharing your sacred creative story with us, Valerie!
And for the beautiful images curated from your life story.
If you would like to shape your sacred creative life with the help of a coach and the camaraderie of a community, I would love to support you. You can find out more about the Sacred Creative Collective here.
We are enrolling soon for an 8 March start and 6 months of community, creativity and wisdom. We’d love you to join us! Places are limited.
The Sacred Creative Collective is current open for enrolments with an early bird opportunity until midnight Saturday 20 February 2021 AEDT.
