Creating, grief coaching and pro-ageing with Valerie Lewis

January 13, 2022

Living a creative, easeful and positive life after loss

Welcome to Episode 9 of the Create Your Story Podcast on Creating, Grief Coaching & Pro-Ageing.

I’m joined by Valerie Lewis, Grief & Loss Coach, Lifestyle Model, 60+ Pro-Ager and Creative Dabbler.

We chat about creativity as a central life value and practise and how it helps in so many ways including dealing with grief and loss. And about being a grief coach and 60plus pro-ager!

You can listen above or via your favourite podcast app. And/or read the notes and links below. Here are the highlights and the full transcript is below.

Show Notes

In this episode, we chat about:

Life after tragedy
Embracing creativity
Choosing not to climb the corporate ladder
Dealing with loss
Making transitions later in life
Grief coaching + supporting others
Creativity + intuitive art
Being a 60plus pro-ager
Becoming a model
And so much more!

Transcript of podcast

Introduction

Welcome to Episode 9 of the Create Your Story Podcast and it’s the 13^th of January as I record this and suddenly we are nearly mid way through January! we’ve had a lot of rain here in Sydney so it’s humid and the gardens are going wild. But I’ve been able to swim and enjoy the mid-summer temperatures. I’ve also been reflecting on 2021 via Susannah Conway’s Unravel Your Year 2022 Workbook this week and also reflecting further on my 2022 word of the year (to be revealed soon). Plus I’ve been planning and preparing for the Wholehearted Self-leadership Book Club where we focus in on Chapter 1 of Wholehearted and the Companion Workbook next week together. As well as preparing for The Writing Road Trip with Beth Cregan which kicks off with a free challenge on 31 January. So there are lots of exciting new things this year and I hope you’ll join me in one of these offerings! Links in the show notes on Quiet Writing at QuietWriting.com/podcast and find the link to this episode.

I’m thrilled to have my friend Valerie Lewis from Visualise and Bloom join us for the podcast today to chat about Creating, Grief Coaching and Pro-Ageing.

Valerie Lewis is a multi-passionate 60plus pro ager. Through grief coaching and personal growth facilitation, she supports and empowers those who are lost and confused with the direction they want to take following a significant life event that has impacted them and their sense of self. Her interests include being an intuitive reader, Reiki and crystals practitioner and avid creative dabbler.

Valerie and I met through a project of a mutual connection Julia Barnickle, ‘What if life were meant to be easy?’ Sadly, Julia passed away early in 2021 as a result of metastatic breast cancer. We connect today remembering Julia and with gratitude to her for connecting us. And it’s fitting that we remember Julia’s message of living a creative, easeful and positive life even in the face of or after difficult circumstances, as this is the focus of the conversation today.

Valerie has been a coaching client in the Sacred Creative Collective group coaching program. We share many similar experiences including moving through deep grief and our passions – including a love of creative expression in many forms and intuitive practices such as tarot as important self-leadership tools.

Today we speak about creativity and how we respond and learn to move through tragedy, loss, deep grief and challenging transitions including ageing. We have fun in this conversation but we also traverse some tragic and sensitive topics so I wanted to let you know this upfront. We consider creativity and intuition as sources of healing and growth and how they support us in making life transitions. Valerie’s story is an incredibly inspiring one especially around how she creates as a central focus and value, has become a grief coach supporting others and is a passionate 60-plus pro-ager.

So now let’s head into the interview with the wonderfully inspiring, creative and multi-passionate Valerie Lewis!

Transcript of interview with Valerie Lewis

Terri Connellan: Hello, Valerie. And welcome to the Create Your Story Podcast. Thank you so much for your connection and for your support of Quiet Writing.

Valerie Lewis: Thanks for having me, Terri. It’s a pleasure to be here.

Terri Connellan: I’m so looking forward to chatting with you today. We’ve connected in many ways around creativity, transition, grief, coaching and more. So it’s great to be able to share conversations on those topics today with others. Can you start us off by providing an overview about your background, how you got to be where you are and the work that you do now?

Valerie Lewis: Wow. Where do I start? Well, I’m originally from the north of England, south Yorkshire, and I moved to London, in the late eighties, following the loss of my only child, my daughter, through manslaughter and the resultant breakdown of my marriage to her mentally ill father. As you can imagine, that was quite a traumatic time. So I would say, that was the main reason why I moved to London basically to start a new life cause I thought, well, I’ve got nothing to lose. And before my daughter died, I had instigated starting a degree because I left school with minimal qualifications.

So it was almost like something that I needed to prove to myself. So I had embarked on the initial stages of the degree. And then after my daughter died, the tutor that I had at the time, he was very encouraging. He said, well, why don’t you apply to one of the universities or polytechnics as they were called. And study that way rather than doing it as I was going to do through the open university. In those days you received the manuals through post and then you do your assignments and work and then send them off to the tutor to mark.

So I applied and I was accepted at Middlesex Polytechnic and ended up moving down to London to do my four year degree. And, in some ways that helped me, that was a tremendous help. It gave me something to focus on and channel my energies in. And it was whilst doing the degree, a friend brought me a book. I made friends with three women at university, and we’re still friends to this day. And one of them brought me a book called Feel the Fear and do it Anyway. And you could say that started the journey of self discovery, self-development, finding out more about who I was.

Life continued. I got a job. One of my sisters had already moved down. My other two sisters moved down and then they eventually ended up moving back with their families and to buy their own homes because it was cheaper in Sheffield. And I’ve remained in London as has my youngest sister. Through that time, I worked and there was a point at which I think it was in my mid thirties. I don’t know if you want to call it a quarter-life crisis or something. Cause I worked with engineers as their admin officer and I remember looking at them absorbed in their work. And when it was time to go home, I used to think, aren’t they going home? They just seemed content to stay there in the office.

And, I just remember thinking, I don’t want to do this, you know, thinking, well, where do I want to go? I did a post-graduate course, the Diploma in Management Studies, because I thought I’m in an administrative field. Maybe that’s the direction that I want to go in. And I remember thinking to myself, well, I don’t want to trap myself. I don’t want to just focus on this. And I think it was through reflecting on who I was. Where did I want to go? I remember thinking, realizing that actually I needed to be creative because that was what fed me. And, I’d kind of neglected that. I’d always been creative. I kind of like neglected that because I was studying and basically adapting to life in London.

And so I started getting back into being creative, making cards. Then I discovered salt dough modeling and got into that. And one of my other sisters she’s quite creative too. So we used to get together and, when her children were young, the schools would have craft fairs. So we’d book a stall and we’d have maybe have a table together. She’d make her own stuff and I’d make my stuff.

And I thought I enjoy this. I thought I don’t want to be trapped in a job where I’m working all these long hours. I want to have some time away from that, where I can do some of the things that I want to do. That’s basically how I’ve been throughout the past 30 years if you like.

Sometimes I felt a bit conflicted about it because you see your colleagues climbing the ladder in one of the fields they’re in. And obviously earning more money. I did get a promotion. I went for promotion and my pay jumped quite substantially. And I felt comfortable with that because one of the things I realized after my daughter died, I remember thinking to myself, you could have all the money in the world and in some ways it’s kind of meaningless if people that you care for are not here anymore. So in some ways I’m not materialistic in that sense. I like to have nice things. I like to wear nice things. And I like to be able to have my books around me and makeup and eat nice food. But having a lot of money is not my main goal. Feeling fulfilled is more important to me, more meaningful to me. Does that make sense, Terri?

Terri Connellan: It does. Absolutely. So, thanks for that snapshot of your life over many years, and what’s important to you. I think that what comes through strongly is your values and how you want to live your life. So we’ll explore more about that as we go through our conversation today. So thank you for that. So we’ve both shared a major transition in your case from corporate life to a more creatively focused life. So can you describe what that transition’s been like for you and how long it took and the main turning points?

Valerie Lewis: That happened last January. In some ways I saw it coming because for the past few years at work there’d been lots of changes, the constant restructuring. My role, if you like became less than what it used to be. It got less stressful. Certain aspects of it, the nicer bits, if you like, the more creative bits of it were taken away and given to another department. And I remember thinking, me and my colleagues thinking, this is strange, something’s going on in the background, you know? And, the restructure that they had before we were told our jobs were going to be moved up north, it happened with one of the teams. They were restructured. And, I think a couple of people were made redundant and the other team basically transferred up north. So that’s why the two people were made redundant from that. And we thought, well, this is odd, if they’ve moved part of our department up north, what does that mean for us?

So in some ways it was almost like you think it’s going to happen at some stage. And, I actually welcomed it. So when it came, it wasn’t a complete shock.

I wasn’t devastated because I thought, oh, I’m approaching 60. I think it’s time. It felt as if it was time for me to be doing something different, something more meaningful, something that I had more control over. So the only thing that I knew that I would mentally have to adjust to was the lack of consistent income. Because obviously, when you’re working, you’ve got an income coming in every month and you know how much is coming. But if you’re not getting that income, you’ve got to create it yourself. So I knew that would be a challenge, but I thought, well, I’m up for it.

Terri Connellan: Excellent. So, sounds like you knew the transition was coming, so you had some time to mentally prepare and perhaps practically prepare for it. And I think that helps too. Certainly for my own transition, it was quite similar. I could see that writing was on the wall. You could see things were coming. And, for me, I started to make a plan for what my life might look like when that time came. So I think that helps as we move through and change. It’s interesting you mentioned that you made that conscious decision in your thirties, not to climb the corporate ladder so that you had space for creative interests. So how do you feel about that decision now? Was that a good decision?

Valerie Lewis: It’s hard to say. I mean, other people might, well, I don’t think anybody else sort of really looks at it. It’s more about me, isn’t it? There are occasions when I think, oh, maybe if I’d stayed in the job and become this, I might’ve been head of this. And then I think, no, this is the road I chose, you know, so I’m happy with it. And in some ways doing a lot of the things that I’ve done feeds into what I’m doing now.

Terri Connellan: So tell us about what you’re doing now.

Valerie Lewis: I certified as a coach. I’ve been jewellery making. So in some ways I’ve had a taste of self-employment, even though I was employed, if that makes sense and earning little bits of money, pockets of money. So it’s not something that’s totally alien to me. I think that I can use my creativity in my coaching, and in other ways to help me achieve an income.

Terri Connellan: I often talk about Elizabeth Gilbert’s line about the long runway, where we’re preparing along the way, perhaps many years before for what we end up, wanting to do that’s important to us. Does that relate to you?

Valerie Lewis: Yeah, I think so. I don’t think you realise it at the time. Do you? Because I look at other people, I look at my sister, for example, who’s an executive coach and she climbed the career ladder. And when she was made redundant, when she started to think about what it was she could do, she realised that one of the things that she’d enjoyed whilst she was employed was coaching others. So she’s taken that aspect and also got trained, did a Masters in Coaching Psychology. And is using that and drawing from her skills in a corporate or in the civil service, if you like. So I think we do draw on our skills, I’m sure in what you’re doing, you’re doing the same, aren’t you?

Terri Connellan: Absolutely. And as you were talking, I was thinking of my own experiences and your sister’s and your own, there are threads that we value that we go back to over time. And often as we’re getting older, we start to stitch them together in different ways. And I think that’s a really exciting part of our journey. Fantastic. So do you want to tell us about what your life looks and feels like now?

Valerie Lewis: It’s kind of like, I’m more in charge of it. Self-leadership that word that you introduced me to. I feel very much my own person. There’s a sense of freedom, if that makes sense. I’m much more at peace with myself. I feel as if I’m more in tune with my own values and I’m not going into work and having to do things that conflict a little bit with how I think or feel.

Terri Connellan: Yeah. So you really have put into practice the things that are important to you, that self-leadership, creativity, embracing who you are. It’s been a real joy to connect with you and to learn from you too and share our experiences as we’ve moved along our road.

So you mentioned, earlier about the tragic death of your daughter and only child and your Wholehearted Story that you wrote for Quiet Writing, The Silent Whispers of my Mind, you share your story and what happened, the impact upon you. Can you explain or share with us what you learned from moving through and on from such incredibly difficult circumstances?

Valerie Lewis: At the time, I wasn’t sure about what I’d learned and I remember sort of thinking. Am I strong? Am I coping with this? And it wasn’t until I volunteered with, I don’t know if you’ve heard of Great Ormond Street Hospital for Sick Children? I volunteered. They have a helpline, the child death helpline. I think it might be called something different now. But I applied to volunteer for that as a bereaved parent. And it was offering emotional support to basically anybody who was impacted by the death of a child, whether they were the parent, the grandparent, the aunt, the teacher, whoever. Perhaps they were feeling upset or traumatized. It was a free helpline, so they could call the helpline and just pour out their feelings.

And we were there as a volunteer to listen and it was through listening to their stories, it made me realize that I had come a long way and that I was actually quite resilient and emotionally strong.

And I learnt that, I mean, it’s a bit cliche, that there are more questions than there are answers and that sometimes we just have to accept that we can’t know the answers to everything as hard as it is. Because that used to probably torment me in the early days. Why, why, why? And there were certain answers that satisfied me so much. And then I’d want to go beyond that and think, well, no one can tell me why.

I know why she died. I know what was wrong with my ex-husband. I know those sort of medical reasons why. But in the bigger scheme of things, it’s almost like well why was it her time? Why did she go then? And I don’t think anybody can give me an answer to that. So I’ve had to learn to accept that’s just how life is, we don’t know when we’re going to go. Sometimes we have signs, like if you’re ill terminally ill, then you know, but you don’t know necessarily why you became terminally ill, what led up to that? So there’s lots of things that we don’t know, we will never know. And we can’t know. And we just have to come to terms with that or else we’d go mad.

I’d also learnt how important it is to have a wall of support around you. It’s so important because, I don’t think I’m speaking out of turn here with the helpline when I say that there were people who didn’t have that support. And they were really struggling. They had no one to turn to apart from the helpline and I think just knowing that there are people around you can help to keep you, make you feel emotionally supported. And sometimes in the practical sense as well.

Terri Connellan: Absolutely. I think the points you’ve raised are just so important particularly that what we learn or the experiences we go through, grief is really a journey over time. That’s certainly something I’ve experienced with the grief that I’ve experienced in my life. And I think you conveyed that beautifully in The Silent Whispers of my Mind. Just that horrible shock when something as terrible as that happens and how we start to make our way through the early days. And then over time. You talk about from fragmented to wholehearted. Yeah. So, thank you for sharing that. And I think the fact that you were able to volunteer to help others helped you realize how much you’d learned is a really powerful story, too.

Valerie Lewis: Thank you. And something else that I learned was that really there’s only, you can decide what your values are. Because I think sometimes when we go through difficult times, it does make us reflect on what’s important to us or not. And really no one else can decide for you.

Terri Connellan: Absolutely.

Valerie Lewis: Have you found that to be?

Terri Connellan: I have. My brother passed away tragically. So, I went through a difficult time and that’s the time that I went back to my creativity, which is my number one value similar to you. And I think the loss of someone so special and so loved and in tragic circumstances, particularly, yeah, it does. It just makes you go back to those places and I think you look at your life in a different way.

So in your work that you do now, you take those experiences to coach others, which is really beautiful that you’re able to take the hard won learning and experiences that you’ve had to be able to support others. So can you tell us about your coaching in this area and how you support people experiencing grief?

Valerie Lewis: Well, grief coaching, if you like, would be seen as a niche or a specialization within life coaching. I think it’s quite new. It’s basically aimed at individuals who’ve experienced loss, whether it’s a death or non-death related and need support and guidance on their grief journey. As you know, coaching is about moving forward. With grief, you’ve got that additional aspect of somebody who may be still going through the various stages of grief. They may still be a little bit hurt, a bit angry, in disbelief.

So grief coaching is also providing practical support using many of the same coaching tools, common to life coaching, as well as providing emotional support through creation of a safe and supportive space for the client to feel that they can heal And that they can express their feelings around grief without judgment.

So there’s a similar way. It is coaching but what I found is that in terms of goal setting, they’ve got to be gentle goals. Very small goals. They may have a big goal, but really with a lot of people who are going through grief, it’s just creating small goals to help them get through the day.

And I find that self-care comes into it quite a lot. So that’s one of the areas that I have tended to focus on with people going through grief. What can they do to be compassionate with themselves, to love themselves, to nurture themselves? What little steps can they take and turn those into goals and actions until they feel strong enough to tackle the bigger goals.

Terri Connellan: Yeah. So that’s a real form of that self-leadership we talked about before is taking control or taking care of what you can in a very traumatic, often very traumatic situation. And what’s the pathway to grief coaching, obviously personal experience of grief is…

Valerie Lewis: Yeah, personal experience and I came across the Institute of Life Coach Training. They’re an American organization. I came across them a couple of years ago and thought about it and then put it from my head like I do with a lot of things that are intuitive and I kept getting pulled back to it. And in terms of thinking about what niche I wanted to focus on, before that I’d looked at working with women who were midlife and who were looking to reinvent themselves. But then I started to think, what can I do with my experience of grief or what I’ve been through? And this is where I discovered this course on the internet and it kept coming back to me. I think it was once I knew that I was going to be made redundant, I decided right, I’m going to sign up for this course.

Because I just felt that I needed some structure. I needed some support around that. So, I mean, I thought I’d been through my own experience, but I need this extra. You know, how do you coach somebody? But as I said, we draw on very much the same sorts of tools as we do as we use in life coaching. It’s just this other additional element of supporting somebody, being there, and creating this safe space for them. And knowing that you’re going to be dealing with somebody who might be a bit fragile and also knowing within that when to refer somebody, , when to be able to say, well, perhaps this person needs more than what I can actually offer them. And it’s counseling that they should be receiving or need to get in touch with.

Terri Connellan: It’s very important work. And I think for many of us, the life experiences, what happens to us, the skills we gain, insight we gain is often what we channel into coaching isn’t it? It’s often a challenging journey, but I think the wisdom that we gain from our experiences, the insight and the tools that we develop are so important to pass on to others. So it’s great that you’re doing the work in this area that will help so many people.

Valerie Lewis: Thank you.

Terri Connellan: So creativity, obviously a very important part of your world. It’s been a touchstone for you over time and more recently you shared in your piece, The Silent Whispers of my Mind, how intuitive abstract painting has been a big part of your journey. So how has creativity been a source of growth, expression and insight for you?

Valerie Lewis: I would say, I’ve been creative in some shape or form ever since I was a child. I think it’s just a natural part of me. It’s something I turn to whether I’m happy or sad. It just helps me. I find that being creative is something I can lose myself in. Whether this taps into being an introvert, I don’t know. But I like to sometimes go into my own little world and shut out everything else that’s going on around me. And I find that obviously you can do that when you’re working on a piece, you’re doing something creative.

And I often find that in the act of being creative, and it’s silent around you, or you might be a person who likes music playing, you can ruminate, you can think, you can think more clearly. And if something’s bothering you, sometimes you find that the answers come to you.

Terri Connellan: Yeah, that makes perfect sense. And I’m sure it can be the same for introverts and extroverts, but I think introverts definitely draw energy from that time alone and that creative space. So yeah, it sounds to me your personality type, which I know is introverted. INFP – you have a preference for introversion, intuition, feeling and perceiving. It would make sense that a tool like creativity, whether it’s painting or jewelry or some of the things you’ve mentioned provides a vehicle to create a quiet space where you can energize and make sense of things.

So your intuition is also something you share a lot about in The Silent Whispers of my Mind. What I found fascinating in that piece is how you tracked through learning to listen to your inner voice over time. So can you share us with us more about learning to listen to your intuition and how it’s guided you? Cause it’s not often talked about, is it, intuition?

Valerie Lewis: No, it’s still something that I find hard to articulate because it’s abstract, isn’t it? You know, you can’t see it. And it is different for everybody. You know, you look back on things and you think, well, what helped me, and then it’s just being aware that there were certain times when I seemed to know what I was doing, I felt as if I was actually being guided And I suppose some people might say you know, it’s God. And I think, well, it could be God and then over the years, having different experiences when you think that’s what they call your intuition. Like a silent voice or a sense. It’s like your body knows the right thing to do. Something’s baffling you or confusing you, and you’re weighing the pros and cons and then out of the blue, when you’re doing something totally different an answer comes into your head or you’re doing something and you get a reaction in your body.

And it’s through experiencing that. And then learning when I experienced that, that means I’ve got to listen to that. And just learning to be aware of those sensations. It’s learning to be quiet and still, and just being in the moment. And I think being creative helps you do that. I’ve heard people say that running, for example, does that for them, you know, going for a run, clears the cobwebs away and they’re in that moment. And maybe if they’ve had a problem they’d been churning turning over in their heads, they’re getting clarity in that moment.

So there’s definitely something to be said about learning to be still. Shutting out everything else around you and really being in that moment. So for me being creative is like a kind of mindful meditation. And I suppose in some way that that’s where the abstract art came in and that was kind of a mindful meditation. I don’t know what I’m going to paint. I just have these paints in front of me and I start doing shapes and ideas come to my head. Oh, that represents so-and-so. That means so and so, but initially I might not know what it is. I want to get down on paper.

Terri Connellan: I think it’s fascinating that abstract intuitive art was what you were felt very drawn to. It’s obviously something that has called you over time. And when you describe your creativity, the power of it, intuition, it seems to bring all the pieces together. So that’s perfect.

I love that you described yourself as a 60 plus pro ager, Valerie. That’s great. I love that term. What does that mean for you? Tell us a bit about that.

Valerie Lewis: I think for me as I approached 60. I thought my gosh. Am I still middle-aged? And then I actually had to Google it to see what years middle age encaptured. And I thought, well, I’m at the tail end of middle-aged. And it was like looking at older relatives around me and thinking, there’s a part of you, that’s a little bit fearful about getting older and that term to me, it helps me allay those about being over 60 and getting older. It’s about me accepting that, yes, I am getting older. I can’t hide that and really, I don’t want to. I think it’s something to actually be proud of, because not everybody, you know, my daughter died at seven. She didn’t make it to 61. My mum’s mum, I think she died at 63, my mum’s 84 so it’s actually something to be really, really proud of.

And regardless of what society says, I think we’ve got more freedom. We’ve been allowed the opportunity for more self-expression than our parents’ generation, if you like. And I think we should take advantage of that to the full. We should create our own rules, dress, how we want to dress. If you want to dye your hair, dye it. If you don’t want to dye your hair don’t. And live life as fully as you can, within your capabilities.

I look around me and there’s people my age and a bit younger having hip replacements and, and dying from cancer and things like that. So I think to myself, life’s short. I think you’re just aware of your own mortality when you reach this age. So you think to yourself, I’m not just going to sit here and sort of accept that I’m getting older. I want to live my life. And so being pro age, it’s about accepting that you’re a certain age but not letting that age, define you or defeat you.

Terri Connellan: Beautiful. Yeah. And I was fascinated to hear that you did what I also did recently, which was look at middle age and the span, because I was asking the same questions recently because I just turned 60 not long ago. I was thinking, oh, am I still middle aged? Or am I old age now? Or what am I? And I did the same thing.

I was fascinated to find that I could see middle-aged, which is that point. And then there didn’t seem to be a term so much for after. So yeah, I do like that pro ager. I was listening to a podcast, The Magnificent Mid-life Podcast, and there was a guest on there who talked about being age-full, which is nice too. I love that. And, I certainly agree with you about celebrating all that, we’ve learned the sharing of that with others, which in your journey is really important. So yeah, I love your attitude. It’s fantastic.

Valerie Lewis: This is where the modeling comes in.

Terri Connellan: Yes I’ve seen on Instagram. Is that a new career for you?

Valerie Lewis: I wouldn’t say it’s a career, it’s a form of income but it’s another form of being creative if you like.

And it’s also about in a way me celebrating, being the age I am because if you look back 10, 15 years ago, who would have thought that somebody in their sixties will be doing modeling. But I think there’s more of us reaching a certain age. And I think companies are appreciating that their customers want to see a greater representation of people who look like them.

And so this is the right time for me to be doing this because I am not what you would call sort of fashion model. I don’t look like a fashion model. I’m not the right height. I’m not the right build for it, but I might look like somebody who you’d see in the street or your next door neighbor. So that’s basically what I’m doing. Lifestyle modelling and it’s quite fun. It’s something different and it’s fun.

Terri Connellan: Yeah. The pictures you shared on Instagram. I was just blown away. I found it so inspiring. It was fantastic to see. So yeah. Be interested to hear more about it as you get more into your modeling.

So there’s a couple of questions that I’m asking all the guests on this podcast, being the Create Your Story Podcast. It’s a big question, but it’s really just seeing what comes to mind from the question. So how have you created your story over your lifetime?

Valerie Lewis: That’s an interesting one. It’s almost like there hasn’t been a rule book to follow. So in many ways circumstances have shaped some of my story. And other aspects of my story, I’ve taken charge and shaped myself. For example, not climbing a career ladder when that’s something that society expects of you, if you like. I chose not to do that.

Some of the creative things I’m doing, such as modeling and what is interesting is meeting other people who are of the same age group, who have decided to do that as well and thinking, well, you know, this is fascinating.

So my story has been shaped by I suppose obviously my parents and people of their generation, my upbringing, being a black person in a mainly white society. That’s helped to shape it. Being a female. In two of my jobs, I worked in a more male dominated environment.

And also the circumstances I’ve been through have helped to shape my story. And also I think I’m a little bit eccentric and I’ve got a strong streak of independence. There’s always something in me that slightly wants to dance to my own tune. So that’s helped to shape my story. I’m still continuing to shape my story.

Terri Connellan: Absolutely. That’s great. It’s lovely to hear all the different aspects that have shaped you, your personality, circumstances and how you’ve responded to them as well. Thank you for sharing that. So wholehearted self-leadership is obviously part of creating your story and a key part. And I’ve shared some tips in my book, but I’m interested for people on the show to share their top wholehearted self-leadership tips and practices, especially for women. So what comes to mind for you as the top tips?

Valerie Lewis: I think the main thing that I would say is work on being true to you. Who are you, or who do you want to be? And that might mean a lot of self-reflecting, digging deep within yourself. I would say a good starting point is looking at your values. What are the things that make life meaning to you or could make life meaningful to you? The values that you hold – are they yours or the values of others? What do you dislike about yourself or what do you dislike about other people? Ultimately, are you living your life for you or for others?

And I think that sort of question becomes more important the older you get, especially as you reach middle age. Maybe if you’ve had a family and your life has been focused on your family, I think you can lose yourself, whoever you were. So at some point, I think most of us, you start thinking about who am I, what am I here for? What gives me joy? And that’s where the self-reflecting comes in. And as I say, looking at your values, I think that’s a good starting point because your values change over time, don’t they? And you might be holding on to things that are not helping you anymore. It’s dragging you down.

Terri Connellan: I think that’s great. I think that question about it with your living your life for yourself or for others and sometimes it’s that overlay of family with its family values, cultural values or corporate values, it’s almost like we have to clear them off sometimes just to work out what’s important for us. I relate to that, like a clarifying process. Beautiful. I love that. And that idea of working on being who you are, who you want to be, and what gives you joy, I think a beautiful tips too for women to take to heart. So, thank you so much for our conversation Valerie today. It’s been so heart-warming, so inspiring and a lot of fun. So thank you so much for sharing your story. Can you tell us where people can find out more about you and your work online?

Valerie Lewis: Okay. My website, Instagram and Facebook under Visualise and Bloom. And LinkedIn under Valerie A Lewis and people can sign up to receive my periodic newsletter. I say periodic because I’m not one of these that sends out a newsletter every month. It’s more like once a quarter. So, if they sign up for my newsletter on my website, I’ve just created a guided meditation. They can receive a free downloadable copy of it. It’s called the Violet Cloud Guided Meditation for Difficult Times.

Terri Connellan: Perfect. That’s a beautiful gift for people who connect with you. So, we’ll pop all those links in the show notes. I’ll also make sure the link to your wholehearted story, The Silent Whispers of my Mind and the piece you shared on creative transition too is there.

Valerie Lewis: Oh, it’s been a pleasure, Terri. Thank you so much.

Terri Connellan: Thanks so much Valerie.

About Valerie Lewis

You can connect with Valerie at her website Visualise and Bloom or via Instagram @visualiseandbloom

Newsletter sign-up: Blooming news + free guided meditation

You can also read Valerie’s Wholehearted Story, The Silent Whispers of my Mind and an interview with Valerie on her transition journey: Sacred Creative Stories of Transition.

Links to explore:

Book Club: Wholehearted Self-leadership Book Club – open for enrolment now, closing soon – join us for January 19/20 book club start.

My books:

Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition

Wholehearted Companion Workbook

Free resources:

Chapter 1 of Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition

https://www.quietwriting.net/wholehearted-chapter-1

Other free resources: https://www.quietwriting.com/free-resources/

My coaching:

Work with me

Personality Stories Coaching

The Writing Road Trip – a community program with Beth Cregan – kicking off Jan 2022

Connect on social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/writingquietly/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/writingquietly

Twitter: https://twitter.com/writingquietly

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/terri-connellan/

Stories of Wholehearted Living

November 4, 2019

Wholehearted is a word and a concept that underlies everything in Quiet Writing and my life. My transition journey began in earnest at a time when I found myself uttering different versions of ‘half-hearted’ about my work and life.

I remember saying to a work colleague on the phone, “My heart is just not in it” as I contemplated my place in a new structure and paradigm there.

“I’m feeling so half-hearted!” I said to another as I tried to work out what to do.

To myself, in writing, I said: “I feel like I’m leaving myself and my heart at the door as I walk in.” Soul-destroying was another word that crossed my mind and passed through my lips when talking to special others.

I applied for jobs I didn’t want.

And then one day as I was driving, I listened to Elizabeth Gilbert’s Magic Lessons podcast episode, Who Gets to Decide if you are a Legitimate Artist. Mark Nepo was talking with Elizabeth and Cecilia, a young poet who has fallen out of touch with her creativity after being rejected from a number of MFA (Master of Fine Arts) programs.

The conversation as a whole was life-changing for me but the pivotal moment for me is when Elizabeth asks Mark Nepo for a word as a blessing for Cecilia as she goes forward in her life. He responds with ‘Wholehearted’ and says “to let that wholehearted be her teacher and all of our teachers.”

Mark Nepo shares his poem, Breaking Surface, which begins, “Let no one keep you from your journey” and ends “Your soul the shore of a promise too great to be ignored.” Do read the whole poem.

I was already on a journey of transition but that moment crystallised so much for me. That word, “wholehearted” which I had read and come across in places before, suddenly took on a whole new and personal meaning as the centre of my life and journey.

Over time as went through and shared my journey to more wholehearted living, I invited women in my community to share their stories too. Quietly, each woman has come forward to tell her story in her own way of how she shifted to living a more wholehearted life.

Here are their stories and voices. I am honoured to share them with you.

There is so much personal inspiration and insight from their experiences. Each woman shares special books and influences too as a way of inspiring your journey.

Read, enjoy, witness, share and write your story too if you wish to – the invitation to guest post is here. I hope these stories inspire you to also “let no one keep you from your journey.”

The Silent Whispers of my Mind – Journeying from fragmented to wholehearted – Valerie Lewis

Writing the way through – a wholehearted story – Sally Morgan

Lusciously Nurtured – a wholehearted interview – with Dawne Gowrie Zetterstrom

Learning to live on the slow path and love the little things that light me up – Kamsin Kaneko

Year of magic, year of sadness – a wholehearted story – Lisa Dunford

From halfhearted to wholehearted living – my journey – Emily Lewis

The courageous magic of a life unlived – a wholehearted story – Bek Ireland

Dancing all the way – or listening to our little voice as a guide for wholehearted living – Olivia Sprinkel

Tackling trauma and “not enough” with empathy and vision – a wholehearted story – Maura McCarley Torkildson

When the inner voice calls, and calls again – my journey to wholehearted living – Heidi Washburn

Maps to Self: my wholehearted story – Sylvia Barnowski

The Journey to Write Here – my wholehearted story – Penelope Love

Ancestral Patterns, Tarot Numerology and breaking through – my wholehearted story – Sylvie Kirsch

Message from the middle – my wholehearted story – Amie Ritchie

The journey of a lifetime – a wholehearted story – Chantal Simon

Gathering my lessons – a wholehearted story – Shalagh Hogan

Grief and pain can be our most important teachers – a wholehearted story – Kerstin Pilz

Breakdown to breakthrough – my wholehearted life – Lynn Hanford-Day

Embracing a creative life – a wholehearted story – Jade Herriman

Becoming who I really am – a wholehearted story – Colleen Reagon

Finding my home – a wholehearted story – Natalie Gaul

My wild soul is calling – a wholehearted story – Elizabeth Milligan

Our heart always knows the way – a wholehearted story – Katherine Bell

How knowing your authentic heart can make you shine – Terri Connellan

Keep in touch + free resource

Quiet Writing is on Facebook Instagram and Twitter so keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. Look forward to connecting with you and inspiring your wholehearted story!

Welcome to Quiet Writing

November 4, 2019

I’m Terri Connellan. I’m an author and life transition, creativity and personality coach for midlife women wanting a life with deeper purpose. I work globally through my creative business, Quiet Writing, and my books Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition and the Wholehearted Companion Workbook are published by the kind press. I work with women seeking deeper meaning and purpose and wanting support with more creative ways of living with self-knowledge and self-awareness.

I bring together a passion for creative living with skill and knowledge as a twice certified life coach and personality type practitioner, backed by 30 years’ experience in adult education teaching, facilitation and leadership. Qualifications wise, in addition to my coaching, I have a Master of Arts in Language and Literacy and two teaching qualifications including one in adult education.

Most importantly, I’ve been on a major life transition journey myself over the past five years. Pretty much EVERYTHING has fundamentally changed as I’ve shifted from being a long-term government employee to shaping a self-sustaining, creative life based on my passions and desires.

I have learnt so much on my transition journey. I’ve taken my body of work, skills and experience and added to it to create a new life. The biggest learning was about the value of CREATIVITY, PERSONALITY TYPE KNOWLEDGE and SELF-LEADERSHIP to guide positive change. That’s why these 3 things are at the core of everything I do. I share my story, skills and learned wisdom to help you create your deeper story.

My books Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition and the Wholehearted Companion Workbook are out now. Click the pic below for all the links to buy in Australia and worldwide in paperbacks and ebook!

An accredited Jung/Myers-Briggs personality type practitioner, I am passionate about supporting women to find deeper meaning and purpose via their unique personality preferences and strengths as a compass.

Creating a new story, getting back to our selves, dusting off accumulated layers that have kept us from being in touch with what we really want to do.

Finding sustainable ways to craft and live a more fulfilling and creative life with practical, grounded strategies and frameworks.

Wholehearted self-leadership is what it’s all about. It’s time to put yourself and your inner work first for a change. Who knows where your enhanced self-understanding and fresh insights might take you?

I’ve created offerings and resources distilling and sharing skills, learning and experiences from my wholehearted self-leadership journey of transition from an overwhelming day job to living a life of self-sustaining creativity.

Whether it’s a one on one personal approach, enjoying connection with a community of creative women, learning about your personality, seeking intuitive guidance via tarot, becoming a coach or reading stories of wholehearted living, I share learned wisdom – mine and others – to inspire your creative transition journey of the heart.

Get your FREE Personal Action Checklist!

Firstly, I’ve created a FREE introductory resource for you:

The Personal Action Checklist for Creating More Meaning. ✨

Distilling the wisdom and learning from major life transitions, I’ve created this checklist so you can work out where to start in simple, clear steps to shape new energy, purpose and creativity!

Just pop your email address in and it will be with you in no time!

Then there are many ways we can connect and you can learn from me: 1:1 coaching, group coaching, personality type coaching, the Quiet Writing blog with 10 years of rich posts, my Wholehearted book…and more. Just click on the below images to…

Choose your path!

Terri Connellan — Create Your Story 1:1 Coaching

wholehearted stories — Book a free Self-leadership call

Benefits for you

You exercise SELF-LEADERSHIP and CHOOSE from 1:1, group, blended, self-paced options so that you can learn and work in the way that works best for you.
You connect ONLINE in a supported way via videoconferencing, Facebook Live, email and ecourses, so you can work from the comfort of your own home anywhere in the world.
You MAKE YOUR PATH, beginning at one point like 1:1 Coaching, then joining in with a group coaching program so you can build on your knowledge and skill over time in an enduring and sustainable way.
You have access to FREE RESOURCES and links to inspirational reading.
You have ongoing inspiration and behind the scenes insights on my journey and learnings via social media and monthly BEACH NOTES newsletter.
You join a vibrant, CONNECTED COMMUNITY of like-minded women, all different, but on a wholehearted journey where experiences and resources can be shared so that you don’t feel so alone.

As a result of our coaching series, I now see myself as somebody who knows what she wants and can achieve the goals she sets. I am now applying for university level jobs, offering my writing for publication again and enrolled in a Masters course for Creative Writing.

CLAIRE HARNETT MANN – On Instagram

I am definitively in a totally different place than I was three months ago. My personal creative practice took off in a direction I always wanted it to go but for some reason hesitated. After taking time to explore my vision, I decided to enrol in a coaching program that felt in a perfect alignment with my heart.

SYLVIA BARNOWSKI – On Instagram

Book your free Self-leadership Strategy Call. Connect via my Contact Page, or via social media:

inspiration & influence transition

A year for appreciating what matters

May 5, 2020

What have we been wasting our time doing?
Sherene Vismaya
Speaking of Jung Podcast

The year so far

In a year that memes have amusingly suggested was written by Stephen King, it has been one crisis after another. A series of emergencies in the form of destructive and damaging bushfires and floods ravaged Australia from late 2019. All fires in NSW were finally contained by 13 February.

By that time we were beginning to deal with the unfolding news of Coronavirus impacts in China beginning to spread. Since then the COVID-19 pandemic has unleashed a wave of unimaginable suffering and fear. To remain safe, we are all indoors and limiting our interactions as much as possible. Life as we know it has radically changed. Loved ones are out of reach physically and the death and sickness toll reflects the extensive impact on both an individual and collective level.

How are you doing?

So how are you doing in this year of immense challenge?

It is easy to focus on the worrying and fearful side of life and disaster. Media reports come at us relentlessly. Each of our situations is different and will influence how we respond. Our personality also plays a significant part. Whether we are introverted or extraverted is a huge influence on how being confined to our home more plays out for us.

For some, it has been a welcome relief from the workplace, commuting and too much social interaction, a time for reflecting within. Extraverts are typically finding it difficult not interacting socially given it is an important form of recharge: “Low-energy. I’m finding I don’t pandemic well.” Some personalities are more likely to thrive in isolation but all of us can find meaning in this time. I shared about what this time of COVID-19 and social distancing has been like for me as a person with INTJ preferences in this guest post.

Appreciating what matters

For me, this has been a year for appreciating what matters. Right from the get-go. Here are some of the ways that appreciating what matters has expressed itself in day to day life. I hope these thoughts inspire you too to tune into what matters.

Fresh air and sunshine

Those early weeks of 2020 were a stark reminder of the value of fresh air and sunshine. We experienced days of thick smoke with hazardous air quality levels but were fortunate to escape bushfires directly where I live.

As an asthmatic, I didn’t go out for weeks if I could avoid it. Summer in Australia is a time of outdoor living, sun, beach days and clear open skies. But not this year. We stayed inside most of the time at the height of our usually beautiful summers.

When we could finally get out into the fresh air and sunshine, it was with a new appreciation of its value. We could walk, swim, sit on the deck, look up at the open-hearted sky and relax.

In Australia while under COVID-19 conditions we have enjoyed mostly good weather and our level of restriction allows us to go out for exercise. We know from the 1918 Influenza epidemic that fresh air and sun can be a healing agent and natural disinfectant against disease. The value of being outdoors and in sunshine is so appreciated in new ways this year.

Home and community

In a brilliant podcast on the astrology and spirituality of the COVID-19 crisis, Jungian analyst Sherene Vismaya, tells that her spiritual teacher Amma told her followers in advance that something was going to happen in 2020. And they should all get to where they needed to be to hunker down.

The importance of where we are and a sense of home have become pivotal this year. I have so appreciated having a comfortable and stable home in a place that I love.

So many lost their homes in the bushfires. In recent times, many have had to travel in difficult circumstances to get home. Others have had to leave places that have been home for them while others have not been able to get home as they would like. It’s been a year for appreciating what matters about home, having a stable base and thinking about what home and community looks and feels like.

Friends and family

Family too has taken on new meaning as we have been contained to our smaller family bubble. It’s been wonderful to connect with family via Zoom and in other ways as we all spend more time isolated. In some ways, there has been more regular communication which is welcome. Missing loved ones and not being able to travel to see them or hug them is highlighted. I think we will come out of this time with a new appreciation for what matters in our family and relationship contexts.

Likewise, friends and community have been so supportive as we share our experiences and support each other. I have always valued my online friends and community. This time has bought that meaning to the fore.

Many of us gathered around Susannah Conway’s April Love 2020 hashtag challenge and continue in various challenges in May. I deeply appreciate my friends and community, whether the connection is mostly in person or online. This time has helped us to remember that it is connection that matters, however it is formed and shaped. Oh and I so appreciate anew those special times I have caught up with Quiet Writing friends overseas.

Animals

Witnessing the terrible destruction of so many animals in Australia during the bushfires was so upsetting. Our beautiful native animals – koalas, kangaroos, wombats, and so many others – unable to move fast enough and killed in great numbers. We often take it for granted that these animals will always be there. But the bushfire emergency highlighted that wide-scale death and destruction can mean species may become extinct. Additional funding started to flow, publicly and privately, to the work of native animal rescue and rehabilitation. There was so much more appreciation for their work in keeping these sacred animals alive.

It’s also been lovely to witness the role of companion animals in these crises. Being at home more and in our bubble, the animals we share our space with have taken on even more value and significance. New bonds have been forming with new animals finding forever homes to share a life with. And just the opportunity to cuddle up close is so comforting.

Beach, bush, yoga, walking and swimming

I live in an isolated area surrounded by beach and bush. These past months have highlighted the preciousness of both. Many of us have sought solace in wooded sanctuaries and parks nearby. The open space of the beach and the rhythm of the sea have been restorative energies.

I have used this time to sharpen my Personal Success Routines and ensure exercise is enshrined in my days. When we experienced the bushfires, I couldn’t get out to do what I loved most – to swim and walk. Even yoga classes were difficult with the poor air quality during the bushfires. It was safer to stay home. So when we could exercise outside eventually, they were like holy times and totally newly appreciated.

In this time of COVID-19, I started off hunkering down more than I needed to as I shared in my guest post on self-isolation recently. Eventually, I started going out more and getting back to walk and swim as I used to. Again, I missed yoga classes as they stopped due to social distancing. But I helped my yoga teacher get onto Zoom and offer her classes online. So in a wonderful win/win, I now can enjoy my yoga classes in my own home.

My new Personal Success Routine has been an opportunity to really up my commitment to what makes a difference with these new realisations of what matters. I have always been terrible at yoga home practice. But now I start the day with 30 minutes of yoga, a 45-minute walk on the beach and then an hour of Morning Pages, Tarot and Creative/Spiritual reading. I’ll share more on this soon. But it’s an embodiment in practice of appreciating what matters. And it is making ALL the difference.

Nourishing local organic food

Along with these new practices, I have found locals are working hard to source and help us access organic food locally. In my village, we are now able to source organic fruit and vegetables and more recently, organic meat and wild-caught fish. I was unaware of these options before this time. So now I am enjoying the freshest of produce that last for a long time and only driving 3 minutes up the road to get it.

I am so thankful for those seeking local organic alternatives and helping others to enjoy them too. We swap recipes on our Facebook group and share a joy of what matters when it comes to eating in healthy ways.

Reading and personality type

Hasn’t reading come into its own in these times? Always an avid reader, I have savoured it all the more as I have had to stay inside more. I have chosen novels for most of this time, enjoying historical fiction, especially by Australian women authors. You can always check in with what I am reading here over at Goodreads.

Finding it hard to concentrate initially in this time of bushfire and pandemic, I am enjoying catching up more now on my consolidating reads and personality reference material as I shape up some new offerings and material. Personality type insights have been a key tool in negotiating this time and my reactions. I have shared personality insights online, via this guest post and via 1:1 and group coaching.

Quiet Writing and working from home

And of course, it’s been a time for quiet writing, for going deeper in my business, my coaching, offerings and writing. I deeply appreciated that over time I have built an online business coaching, writing and working from home. Pursuing multiple streams of income through a combination of property investment and development, coaching, online courses and writing books, it’s been an affirmative time for knowing this is the right strategy. It’s been a time of digging deep to work out how to share with others how they can work on what matters in their lives.

How are you appreciating what matters at this time?

So that is my thoughts on appreciating what matters at this time. It took me ages to write this post as I reflected deeply on these past months and what they have taught me. I would love to hear what you are appreciating as mattering and making a difference for you now.

What are you appreciating more deeply?

What matters for you – what realisations have you had?

What have you missed?

What new practices would you love to cultivate?

What transitions are you seeking?

Transition Coaching

I am a transition coach and work with women seeking deeper meaning and purpose and change in their lives. If you would like support working with the energies and challenges that this time has brought to the surface, I’d love to work with you.

Coaching with me can help you navigate these times so you can make the most of what matters.

Head over to my Work with me page for more information:

Work With Me

Or head straight over to book a Discovery Call – love to talk with you and support your stepping into this time more positively!

Book a Discovery Call

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coaching

Sacred Creative Collective Group Coaching

January 15, 2021

Create deeper meaning and purpose in your life with the support of a coach and a community!

Join the next Sacred Creative Collective Group Coaching for 3 months of wholehearted self-leadership coaching.

Get on the waitlist to be the first to know when enrolment is open!

Get on the Waitlist!

Read on to learn more about the Collective

Create a life that has more meaning and purpose. Move beyond procrastination. Commit to a project or transition, work consistently, and see it through with confidence and discipline. Connect with practical tools to create progress instead of going over old problems or ways of doing things. Take that dream of writing a book or blog or creating a new life path or ecourse and begin to make it real.

Sacred Creative Collective is for you if you are creating a new life story and it feels a little overwhelming and lonely at times as you work through it all.

Explore what you desire to create in a safe environment with accountability and companionship. Learn with a guide and other wise women walking on the road with you so you feel supported. Because sometimes it can feel like hard work and we all need that guidance and a place to share our breakthroughs and work through our challenges.

When you get the connecting threads in place, you’ll feel clearer about the path you’re taking.

You’ll have the resources and tools to bring the threads together. You’ll feel motivated and enthusiastic with good habits, discipline and rituals established. Knowing more about your personality strengths (and saboteurs!), these practices will provide a strong foundation for flexing into new territory in ways that work for you!

You’ll feel a sense of direction and purpose, especially if you’re working on shaping a new life chapter. Perhaps life has changed in some fundamental way. You might have finally left (or are planning to leave) that workplace behind and are wanting to get back to what you truly value. You might want to weave together ways of living and working in a more seamless, harmonious and productive way. Perhaps you’ve been on this journey for some time now and need a little boost and support through the ups and downs.

Whatever the circumstances, you are planning a deeper shift to a more creative way of living, one closer to your heart.

Working with the Sacred Creative Collective, you’ll shape plans and strategies for working the best way for you. You’ll feel you have a goal, something to aim for. No longer simply biding your time, you will be doing something of value. Your spiritual life is deeply important to you (whatever that means for you) and probably always has been. Your own practice is sacred to you, but you’d love to share and learn with others too, so you can connect and enrich each other.

Stepping away from the ordinary world for a while, you can listen more clearly to your own inner wisdom.

Introducing the Sacred Creative Collective, a step-by-step 3-month group program for women who want clarity and momentum for a more fulfilling life without the overwhelm.

As a result of working together in the Sacred Creative Collective, you will:

Embrace your calling and creativity and take your desires from intention through planning to reality so you can make them happen!
Be in confident action towards a creative project or life transition you deeply want.
Better understand and work in alignment with your personality preferences so you can achieve your goals in your own way.
Enjoy the support and accountability of a coach and a community of women, sharing wisdom and cheering each other on so you feel connected as you make change.
Develop self-leadership skills for sustainable change so your investment and engagement has lasting and enduring impact.

Meet your guide for the journey

I’m Terri Connellan, your coach for the Sacred Creative Collective and I’m here to guide you on the journey. Here’s what’s unique about the Sacred Creative Collective and what I bring to you.

I blend magic and practicality, vision and action, intention and doing the work, intuition and logic, group and individual focus, your calling and a community to support YOU.

I’m a master curator of rich resources, learning and just the right tools to open you to the wisdom and creativity within.

I bring together a passion for creative living with skill and knowledge as a life coach and personality type practitioner, backed by 30 years’ experience in adult education teaching, facilitation and leadership.

I am skilled at zeroing in on individual needs and facilitating learning in a group environment. Using these skills to shape a flexible learning experience, I will guide you at both an individual and a group level to meet your needs.

Most importantly, I’ve been on a major life transition journey myself over the past 4 years.

Pretty much everything has fundamentally changed as I’ve shifted from being a long-term government employee to shaping a self-sustaining, creative life based on my passions and desires. My book Wholehearted: Self-leadership for Women in Transition was published on 6 September 2021. It’s what I’ve wanted for a long time. It’s been a soul-nourishing journey, working on my deeper purpose and meaning. I’ve taken my body of work, skills and experience and added to it to create a new life for myself. I’ve finally got down to doing the creative work of my heart that I’ve longed to do. I share my story, skills and learned wisdom to help you create your deeper story.

Secure your place on the VIP Waitlist and early access to resources to be in action.

Secure your VIP place on the Waitlist!

Here’s what people have said:

I enjoyed my time with the Sacred Creative Collective learning from and drawing on Terri’s teachings, experience and invaluable feedback. It provided me with the structure, accountability, support and community that I felt I needed to be in action as I started out on my new journey away from the corporate world. Terri’s leadership and deep knowledge, the thoroughness and professionalism of the content presented and shared throughout was a highlight, as well as the opportunity to meet others on a new journey, deepening their own path. Terri and the Sacred Creative Collective entered my life at exactly the moment I needed this support and I am grateful for this!

VALERIE LEWIS – VISUALISE AND BLOOM – and read Valerie’s fuller Sacred Creative Story HERE

The last three months’ coaching as part of the Sacred Collective Coaching group has been truly life-changing. I feel like I have pushed reset, examining so many areas of my life and personality. I now feel much more able to step into my own power and move forward confidently and with ease. Thank you Terri for gentle and encouraging feedback and informative and enlightening guidance. It definitely feels like this is learning we can revisit time and time again, each time going deeper and getting further to our core.

ELIZABETH MILLIGAN – ON INSTAGRAM – and read Elizabeth’s fuller Sacred Creative Story HERE.

The length of the course is ideal for getting started and making good progress on a project. I love how everyone can be working on their own goals and still be able to learn new things and participate together. I’ve made progress in the area of personal power: learning about archetypes, shadow work and saboteurs has been deep and meaningful. I am feeling more positive about my ability to lead myself and also as I learn more and more about the INFJ personality, I am finding it to be so helpful in understanding why I do what I do. Thank you, Terri! It has been a transformative experience.

CORA PACHECO – EAGLE AND STAR TAROT – Read Cora’s fuller Sacred Creative Story HERE.

Here’s what’s included in the 3-month Sacred Creative Collective:

Weekly Sacred Creative Skills live presentations

12 weekly Sacred Creative Skills live presentations help you learn practical creativity, personality and self-leadership skills to apply to a personal project or goal. With resources to support your individual creative project or life transition plans, you’ll be skilling up AND be in action towards your goals.

Sacred Creative Skills shared include:

PERSONALITY: KNOWING YOURSELF: your style, personality and preferences as guides: your personality type, style statement, style and type, archetype and other lenses of self-knowledge and personal insights.
SELF-LEADERSHIP: CREATIVITY + TRANSITION YOUR WAY: self-leadership, living and working in seasons, personal practices and rhythms, writing, solitude.
CREATIVITY: CREATIVE PRACTICE TOOLS + RESOURCES: writing, intuitive practice, technology/social media tips, organisational tools, managing social media and focus in a digital age.
SHOWING UP TO YOUR CALLING in your own unique way: resistance, turning professional, responding to your calling, knowing your saboteurs and particular brand of self-sabotaging.
YOUR INFLUENCES + ENVY AS GUIDES to what you want: your creative influences over time and what they can tell you; looking at envy as a source of insight as to what you want.
FEELING WHOLE IN YOUR WORK, CALLING + TRANSITIONS: Personality type and transition and working on your personality strengths and less preferred areas to feel whole in your work and manage transitions positively.

Monthly Group Coaching Calls

Via 7 fortnightly online group coaching sessions, we will explore individual goals and progress in a collective environment. A combination of coaching and community, you’ll be accountable for your actions in a supported way and enjoy companionship on the journey. With a small group capped to a maximum of 12 women, we will be able to ask questions and connect in a deep way over the 3 months.

Bonus Creative Mentor session with Nicola Newman

You’ll have a bonus 60-minute group mentor session with Nicola Newman, an inspiring Creative Mentor leading a self-directed creative life. We’ll talk about the art of creative living in a live conversation and Q&A with Nicola, drawing on her experiences of creative and positive life transition. You’ll learn how to focus in on your desires and options and be inspired by Nicola who has shaped change with creativity and success.

Personalised 1:1 coaching support

With 1:1 personalised email and video feedback from me as your coach through-out, you’ll feel accountable and driven towards your goals. You can also access additional 1:1 coaching sessions at a special Sacred Creative Collective rate to intensify and support your learning if you desire.

A private Facebook Group community

A Facebook community will provide a place for sharing learning, experiences and practice. We’ll co-create and support each other and have fun in the process.

Online, global and ongoing access

All learning in this program is online so you can work from the comfort of your home anywhere in the world. Dates and times for group coaching by Zoom video-conferencing will be organised to best suit the timezones of those who sign-up. All sessions will be recorded for easy access. You’ll have ongoing access to the Sacred Creative Skills course content, Facebook and group coaching recordings beyond the 6 months so you can always go back to the resources to refresh your learning.

Opportunity to join the Sacred Creative Collective Mastermind Alumni group

You also have the opportunity to join the Sacred Creative Collective Mastermind Group for alumni only. This is an ongoing way to keep supported and connected with wholehearted self-leadership, a coach and a like-minded community of women.

You’ll finally be able to bring together a plan to achieve your dreams and make it happen. 💃🏼 💃🏼 💃🏼

And I’ll support you through all of the threads of the program to be sustainably self-directed and in action for the long-term.

Here’s a check-in about whether it’s the right program for you:

I want to know that you will enjoy fantastic outcomes and have a life-changing experience. You want to get excellent value for your investment and transformational tools and positive steps into a sustainable new life chapter. And enjoy your time in the process!

So here’s what I know:

The Sacred Creative Collective is perfect for you if:

you’re ready (super keen) to shape a life transition or creative project.
you love creativity, reading, learning and shaping personal practices.
you are excited about getting to know women on a similar journey.
you want to understand yourself and personality preferences better.
you’re committed to putting time into working on yourself.
you’re excited by a blend of individual and group work.
you think a mix of coaching and teaching/learning from me would work well for you now.

The Sacred Creative Collective is not for you if:

you’re not ready to make life changes or commit to a creative project.
you don’t like learning, reading or shaping new material into your life.
you’d prefer to work one to one and not engage with a community.
you don’t feel you have anything to learn about your personality.
you’re not committed to investing time into working on yourself.
you don’t feel comfortable with a blend of individual and group work.

I hope that makes it clear. I want the best for you! You can hop over to Work with Me for other options like 1:1 coaching if you feel the Sacred Creative Collective is not for you now. Or book a Self-leadership Discovery Call to check.

And to make it easier, you only need to pay the first instalment in advance to secure your place.

The rest is to be paid in additional equal instalments in advance each month during the program.

Doors open early for those on the waitlist to receive an EARLY BIRD discount and early access to resources to be in action.

As soon as you pay your first instalment and have an introductory Self-leadership Discovery Call to check it will be a great fit for you. You get early access to resources so you can be in action before the program formally starts. You will hit the ground running and make the most of the 6 months.

The early bird resources include:

A WELCOME PACKAGE with the Sacred Creative Skills program outlined in full so you can see the whole and where you would personally like to zero in.
A PERSONAL LEARNING PLAN WORKBOOK so you can start to shape your goals and learning program. You can start early and plan for success, honing in on your personal focus. It might be a creative project, the next step in your life path or creative business like a transition plan, blogging or writing practice or developing content for an ecourse or face to face program. Whatever feels right for you.
A detailed RESOURCE LIST so you can begin to choose the BOOKS you would like to focus in on or the PODCAST episodes you would like to listen to motivate you in making real progress in the Sacred Creative Collective.

Set your intentions for a new creatively inspired life in line with your meaning and purpose. It’s a great opportunity to set yourself up for a positive and focused time and also have support in negotiating all the global challenges we are experiencing.

So are you interested in working together in a sacred creative way with a coach and others?

Fabulous – it is going to be wholehearted, creative work and play as we wind our way together towards deeper meaning and purpose.

Here’s how to get started!

Be in action toward your goals now. Places are limited to a maximum so take advantage of early access to resources and secure your place. Here’s what to do!

Get on the VIP Waitlist now!

If we are already in contact now via coaching or mastermind groups, send me an email and we can work out if a discovery call step is needed.

Questions?

Have any questions? Check out the FAQs below at the end of this post.

The Sacred Creative Collective is a value-packed way to work with me to access all my skills, knowledge and experience, gain valuable self-leadership skills and make new connections.

With the resources you receive in advance, you can be in action to make powerful progress over the 6 months. A 1:1 45-minute Discovery Call will help you kick off your plans with focus and insight.

Here’s more about what people have said:

Creativity flourishes within intentionally crafted containers and the Sacred Creative Collective is among the most friendly and loving spaces I know. Attracted to Terri’s subject-matter expertise and curation style, I enrolled to allow myself to receive the kind of support I’m accustomed to giving in my professional field. As such, this program envisioned as an ‘external’ accountability structure delightfully points back to inner wisdom, where authentic accountability arises from within and is exponentially enhanced by group participation yet not dependent on it. The vast, detailed library of resources, combined with a wealth of skills instruction and a generous measure of laser coaching, has exercised and strengthened these creative wings for takeoff!
– PE

I really enjoyed being part of the Sacred Creative Collective and the experience of being on a learning journey with other women on a similar quest of acquiring knowledge and strategies to facilitate our writing dreams. There was a feeling of acceptance and support throughout the course, whilst having a definite structure to adhere to. Having Terri share her journey and acquired learning along the way was both interesting and useful. Terri put us on to some terrific resources and shared some very inspiring and motivational quotes which kept propelling us forward. The inbuilt accountability of spelling out our weekly priorities and fortnightly goals and action helped me to achieve my goal of creating my blog and launching it into the world!
– DR

Frequently Asked Questions

How much time will I need to commit to the program?

The program material itself (Sacred Creative Skills, Group Coaching, Facebook, Mentor Calls, 1:1 work over the 3 months) requires a commitment of about 2-3 hours per week on average. Then your work on your individual goals and projects is additional to this – however, this is work you would want to be doing anyway. The group coaching will help you be in action in a more strategic, efficient, productive and supported way towards your plans.

What if I get behind?

The material is always there to go back to and you can work in whatever way suits you. Focusing week to week helps to be in action and working on the early materials as soon as you have access will give you a head start for deep action.

How big is the group?

The group is small enough for individual attention and intimate connection but large enough for a sense of community. The program is capped to ensure the best balance over the three months.

What about time zones and the timing of the calls?

The Sacred Creative Collective attracts women from all over the world which provides a rich opportunity for interaction and connection. Dates and times for group coaching by Zoom video-conferencing will be organised to best suit the timezones of those who sign-up. Group coaching will be a 90-minute session with the whole group if that works or in 2 x 60-minute options each fortnight at times when global time-zones make a single group too challenging.

Why do I need to book a Self-leadership Discovery Call?

This is a coaching program and even though we are working as a group, you’ll be working on your own priorities and projects. To be able to customise the program to both individual and group needs, I need to get to know you and your priorities and desires. Plus we need to know it’s the right fit for you before you commit.

When you book your session, I’ll be sending you some questions to prepare in advance. If you decide to go ahead with the program, you’ll be ready for when doors open or to enrol ASAP. If we decide it’s not the right fit, I’m happy to share other resources and options to help you get what you need and of course, refund your initial payment or transfer it to another option of your choice.

If we are already in touch and know each other well via coaching or other means, just send an email to me at terri@quietwriting.com and we can talk that way.

What if I feel I need more 1:1 support?

If you feel you need more 1:1 support, you can access 1:1 coaching with me during the 3 months of the program. This will be available at the special rate of $140AU per hour which is 15% off.

Do I need any special technology?

No. It’s all pretty standard technology for online courses and coaching. You just need a computer, internet connection, email address and a pair of earbuds or headphones with inbuilt microphone for group calls. I’ll be there to guide you and help if there are any issues or it is new to you.

What if I am not confident with technology?

I’ll be there to help you every step of the way and can work with you 1:1 on any challenges that arise. Learning to work with technology will help you to embrace self-leadership and learning goals as well. You’ll learn tools and tips to help you with your goals. In fact, getting confident with technology would make a fantastic learning and life goal for the program!

How long will I have access to the material?

The Sacred Creative Collective resource material will be on the Quiet Writing School ecourse platform and in a private Facebook group. You have access to the material beyond the program to support you to be in action. You can download material for your own use too to ensure you always have your own copy to hand.

How will you blend together group skills and individual projects?

As a teacher in adult vocational education, this is work that I have done for many years and am very skilled in! As a person with INTJ type preferences, it is natural for me to be organised and I love to shape complex material into frameworks and more accessible ways of working. We will have processes and templates for ensuring you can scope personal intentions, goals and plans and have the resources and support to be in action towards them. Group support via Group Coaching and Facebook is an important part of the program. I love teaching and facilitating groups with a mix of individual needs and learning styles as we all learn from each other!

Do I need to know my Jung Myers-Briggs (eg MBTI) personality type before I start?

No, although it does help you to have this knowledge to get the most from the program! You might already know your type from previous work. Working through my deep-dive Personality Stories Coaching Package prior to the program helps you to get into a good place with understanding your unique personality.

Whether you have this knowledge or not, you know yourself well and we can tap into this and work with it. I’ll provide some simple frameworks and activities for working with what you know about your personality preferences. I’ll share insights on psychological type and how it affects the way we naturally work on the way through. As always we will start with where you are and build on that.

Will I get my Jung/Myers-Briggs personality profile through this program?

Not in a formal way but you will know more about your personality from working through this program. Self-assessment with the guidance of a coach is also a valid way to learn about your type. I weave knowledge of psychological type into everything I do. The Personality Stories Coaching Package is a 1:1 deep dive into your personality type if you wish to do this at any time, before, during or after the program. If you already know your type but would like to revisit it prior to the program via a 90 minute 1:1 deep dive coaching session, contact me by email or book a Discovery Call as a first step for both group coaching and personality work.

What happens after the program?

You have the opportunity to join the Sacred Creative Collective alumni Mastermind group for ongoing connection and support. You can also work via 1:1 coaching with me.

Be in action now!

So get on the waitlist for next time and receive early bird access and discounts.

Get on the Waitlist!

I look forward to sacred creatively co-creating with you!

PS Here’s an insight into the quality of my online teaching and learning approaches:

The variety of ways Terri presents the study material means that everyone coming to the course will find their preferred method of learning catered for. I’m an aficionado of online courses, but I’ve never encountered such a sensitivity to the needs of different learners and is a testament to Terri’s wealth of experience in the field of education. Gold standard stuff here.

Start work, ignite magic from your unique passions

May 21, 2018

If you’re waiting for divine inspiration, you might be waiting forever. Start the work and see what happens.

Jessa Crispin, The Creative Tarot for the Ace of Coins

A Quiet Writing deep-dive Tarot Narrative each Monday to share intuitive guidance, wisdom and insights from aligned books – for the week and anytime…

This week: start work + ignite magic from your unique passions

Theme for the week beginning 21 May

The underlying theme for this week to guide our overall focus is from Lisa McLoughlin’s Life Design Cards deck – #41 Seize the moment to creatively direct raw energy.

After last week’s message of retreating within especially to find approval, we are encouraged this week to get out of the gate. Just look at all that fire and strength in this gorgeous card! And the language: “seize the moment”, “raw energy”. After the regrouping of the oast week, it’s time to create and be outward in our work. The energy to start work we may have been planning or imagining is highlighted now.

Advice from the Life Design Cards Guidebook is:

Express your personality and create outward symbols of your inner state.

Today’s narrative, led by this theme card, encourages us to ignite our passions into action and start work. The moon phase also is in favour of this as we move from a yin to a yang state tomorrow.

Tarot Narrative for the week beginning 21 May

Tarot Narrative:

It’s time to ignite those passions into action. You have been feeling between worlds for a while now but having regrouped, start work. Whatever magic you have been imagining, whatever creativity you have been contemplating, shift into active work with it now. Just start, learning as you go. The pleasure of creating and learning will lead to mastery and expressing your unique passions in the world as only you can.

Cards: King of Wands and Ace of Coins from the Spolia Tarot and #3 Between Worlds from Wisdom of the Oracle. My first draw from the magic Spolia Tarot!

Start now to master passion and creativity

Last week we had the Knight of Wands focusing our attention on pursuing our passions and creative projects. But we were encouraged to hunker down a little and work out our direction and priorities. I know the last week has been a big one for me in working out my priorities. I’ve been concentrating on how to swim in my own lane and not to try to do everything at once. I had to spend some quiet time reflecting to make progress. Now I am clearer and this week is the time to start work.

Do you have ideas you are very passionate about that you have been putting off? Or have you been finding it hard to get to that one thing that is so important? The one that expresses your unique passions exactly? I know I have. It’s not been without good reason and there have been other competing priorities. But sometimes you just need to “seize the moment”, sit at the desk or go to the cafe and start work.

The King of Wands is all about the mastery of our passions and creativity, bringing together our take on our influences. As the Spolia Tarot Guidebook tells us for this King:

He is in command of his passions, but he is not at the mercy of them. He can always step back and determine what might be needed.

This spirit of moving ahead knowing you can make changes later is powerful. It helps us counteract the fear to even start work on what we treasure and value. Sometimes it can seem so precious or special, we never start. We are reminded this week that the ability to start work has a power and strength all of its own.

Seeds of action and first days

The Ace of Coins highlights the power of starting. The Spolia Tarot Guidebook says for this card:

The Ace of Coins is a seed. It is the first day of work on a project.

So this energy is all about seeds and planting energy into what we may have started thinking about a long time ago. Both the Ace and Between Worlds from the Wisdom of the Oracle emphasise that we may not know what the seed is or what it will grow into. It might even be different from what we anticipate. There’s an invitation to be curious and see what comes forth.

Last week we were encouraged to “gather our thoughts, make lists, mind-map, distil, make a plan, unravel, walk or free write can all be valuable ways to use this time of retreat.” I did a lot of that last week. It was very valuable and I learnt two things:

that I can’t do all that I want to do right away, and
which one is the most important now.

So I have begun to start work on what is the beginning of an exciting new offering. I made videos, I’ve been creating content and I know where I want to go with it. It’s all about personality so I love the synchronicity of the words from the Life Design Card:

Express your personality and create outward symbols of your inner state.

We are reminded we need to tend the seeds and work of our unique personality. Investing the care and energy, seizing the moment will yield power and strength we can learn from as we go.

This image via pexels.com

Book notes:

The King of Wands examines everything that sets him aflame and will find its psychological source. This understanding makes his passion sustainable, keeping him from burning out.

Jessa Crispin, The Creative Tarot

Today’s theme is all about how to fearlessly start work but it’s also about sustainable mastery of our passions. We can make many starts, but how do we combine our unique passions into something for the creative long-haul. I am grateful to everything that sets me alight and I love the link with psychological sources that The Creative Tarot mentions for the King of Wands.

The work that I made a big start in today is all about personality and psychological sources. It’s all about our cognitive preferences and what makes some things more natural than others. One of the major learnings for me over time has been about my personality and what makes it tick and honouring that. Valuing my intuition and my work with tarot and oracle cards as tools to tap into my intuition has been a huge part of that. I look forward to sharing my unique passions in these areas with the world.

So today I celebrate Jessa Crispin’s The Creative Tarot which has been something of a companion guide on this journey. I love that my first draw from Jessa’s gorgeous Spolia Tarot deck featured the King of Wands and the Ace of Coins. And reminded me again of the power to start work on our unique passions.

Start work on your unique passions

So where can you start work on your unique passions? Journal or reflect on these questions to ignite the flame of your creativity. Reflect on the Spolia King of Wands image as you do – look at that flame!

What seeds can you plant now, even if you do not know what they will grow into?
If you did retreat a little, hermit style, last week, what did you learn from that?
How do your unique passions come together?
What is their psychological source or link?
What is the thread that weaves through your passions?
How can you start now and how can this passion be sustainable over time?
How can you move wisely, step by step, not rushing to do all the things at once?
What might anchor you as you start?
How can you avoid burning out as you ignite and combine your various passions?

The Between Worlds card suggests “It’s a good time to bet on your skills and talents in new and different arenas.” What might these be?

If we don’t start work, we will never know.

How might you start work? You will know your own ways to do this but here are a few ideas:

step out of your comfort zone and do the thing that you have been putting off or that scares you
write the outline of the book, blog post or course you want to offer to the world
begin the first draft
get out the paints or pencils and see what emerges
reach out and make connections where you see some synergy
make time in your schedule this week for your number one priority
set a goal to start work and achieve a critical milestone this week
align action better with your priorities

Thoughts for this week

Making the start work in various ways is highlighted this week. It’s time to plant the seed, seize the day, make hay, write words, bring your passions into being in the world as only you can. The sooner you start work and plant the seed, the sooner those strong roots can grow.

These words are a great accompaniment for the energies of this week:

What you can do, or dream you can, begin it,
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Only engage, and then the mind grows heated, —
Begin it, and the work will be completed!”

John Anster, 1835, inspired by a passage in Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s “Faust”.

Love to hear your thoughts!

I’d love to how this message of being in action and finding a way to start work on the union of your unique passions resonates with you this week.

All best wishes for a week of igniting magic and connecting the sources of your work.

May you find joy in finding new ways for your talents and passions to connect and find a voice. And let me know what you think of this post and this weekly Tarot Narrative!

Keep in touch & free ebook on the ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You can work with me to help tap into that inner wisdom and magic guidance. Free 30-45 minute coaching consults chats are available so please get in touch at terri@quietwriting.com to talk further. I’d love to be a guide alongside to help you conduct creativity and magic with spirit and heart in your own unique way. And to help you ignite the psychological links in your passions!

You can download my free 94-page ebook on the 36 Books that Shaped my Story – just sign up with your email address in the box to the right or below. You will also receive updates from Quiet Writing and its passions. This includes personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot and other connections to help express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community.

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

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Living a creative, easeful and positive life after loss

Show Notes

Transcript of podcast

Introduction

Transcript of interview with Valerie Lewis

And I thought I enjoy this. I thought I don’t want to be trapped in a job where I’m working all these long hours. I want to have some time away from that, where I can do some of the things that I want to do. That’s basically how I’ve been throughout the past 30 years if you like.

And I often find that in the act of being creative, and it’s silent around you, or you might be a person who likes music playing, you can ruminate, you can think, you can think more clearly. And if something’s bothering you, sometimes you find that the answers come to you.

About Valerie Lewis

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Benefits for you

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The year so far

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Appreciating what matters

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Beach, bush, yoga, walking and swimming

Nourishing local organic food

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Transition Coaching

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Create deeper meaning and purpose in your life with the support of a coach and a community!

Join the next Sacred Creative Collective Group Coaching for 3 months of wholehearted self-leadership coaching.

Read on to learn more about the Collective

Sacred Creative Collective is for you if you are creating a new life story and it feels a little overwhelming and lonely at times as you work through it all.

When you get the connecting threads in place, you’ll feel clearer about the path you’re taking.

Whatever the circumstances, you are planning a deeper shift to a more creative way of living, one closer to your heart.

Stepping away from the ordinary world for a while, you can listen more clearly to your own inner wisdom.

Introducing the Sacred Creative Collective, a step-by-step 3-month group program for women who want clarity and momentum for a more fulfilling life without the overwhelm.

As a result of working together in the Sacred Creative Collective, you will:

Meet your guide for the journey

I blend magic and practicality, vision and action, intention and doing the work, intuition and logic, group and individual focus, your calling and a community to support YOU.

Most importantly, I’ve been on a major life transition journey myself over the past 4 years.

Here’s what people have said:

Here’s what’s included in the 3-month Sacred Creative Collective:

Weekly Sacred Creative Skills live presentations

Monthly Group Coaching Calls

Bonus Creative Mentor session with Nicola Newman

Personalised 1:1 coaching support

A private Facebook Group community

Online, global and ongoing access

Opportunity to join the Sacred Creative Collective Mastermind Alumni group

You’ll finally be able to bring together a plan to achieve your dreams and make it happen. 💃🏼 💃🏼 💃🏼

Here’s a check-in about whether it’s the right program for you:

The Sacred Creative Collective is perfect for you if:

The Sacred Creative Collective is not for you if:

And to make it easier, you only need to pay the first instalment in advance to secure your place.

Doors open early for those on the waitlist to receive an EARLY BIRD discount and early access to resources to be in action.

So are you interested in working together in a sacred creative way with a coach and others?

Here’s how to get started!

Questions?

Here’s more about what people have said:

Frequently Asked Questions

How much time will I need to commit to the program?

What if I get behind?

How big is the group?

What about time zones and the timing of the calls?

Why do I need to book a Self-leadership Discovery Call?

What if I feel I need more 1:1 support?

Do I need any special technology?

What if I am not confident with technology?

How long will I have access to the material?