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The courageous magic of a life unlived – a wholehearted story

February 28, 2019

This guest post from Bek Ireland looks at the courage and magic of exploring a life unlived.

This is the 16th guest post in our Wholehearted Stories series on Quiet Writing! I invited readers to consider submitting a guest post on their wholehearted story. You can read more here – and I’m still keen for more contributors!

Quiet Writing celebrates self-leadership in wholehearted living and writing, career and creativity. This community of voices, each of us telling our own story of what wholehearted living means, is a valuable and central part of this space. In this way, we can all feel connected on our various journeys and not feel so alone. Whilst there will always be unique differences, there are commonalities that we can all learn from and share to support each other.

I’m excited to have Bek Ireland as a ‘Wholehearted Stories’ contributor. Bek and I met via coaching and I had the pleasure of guiding Bek through a coaching series. We worked through deep wholehearted story work and Bek focused on getting back to the essentials of what was important. In this story, Bek shares how she has moved courageously into living that life unlived she imagined. It takes brave and sometimes unorthodox steps, but that’s wholehearted work. Read Bek’s journey of working through embracing her natural personality and living her life unlived!

Come in, come in, I’ll show you around. There’s a table, which also serves as a desk of course (excuse my laptop, notebook, 2019 diary on it!) and a gorgeous little kitchen, with coffee and tea and breakfast stuff.

In here’s the bathroom, with ‘Who Gives A Crap’ toilet rolls (love it). Here we have the bed (built high so you can store your suitcases or bags under there). The comfy couch is opposite the television, although we both know that’s not going to get turned on while I’m here, don’t we?

That’s one of the very reasons I’m here!

This is the third time I’ve stayed at an Airbnb in the last few years. It’s interesting that trips are stored in the app – my first time was June 2017, then June 2018, and now January 2019.

I rent them for two nights usually, but I don’t stay overnight. All three have been within a 5-minute drive of my own house. I come for the afternoon on the first ‘night’ and then the full day of the second ‘night’.

The first time was one night, because my daughter, who was nine at the time, had gone to a friend’s house and was possibly going to stay the night, depending on how she felt. I would’ve stayed the night if she’d stayed at her friend’s, but she didn’t. So I was only there for a few hours in the afternoon and evening.

Reclaiming sovereignty

The bliss of it though! The no-TV, no-power tools, nobody talking to me. Not even offering me a coffee – so, still interrupting, still intruding on what I was beginning to understand was an innate need for uninterrupted time to myself.

When you’re a people-pleasing INFJ like me, going against the grain of 40 years and trying to establish some boundaries with scant practice is hard work. Being interrupted with the offer of coffee is excruciating. Because yes, they’re interrupting when you’ve asked politely that they not talk to you, but for an ostensibly nice reason.

It’s all too much and you give up and give in and swallow yourself and go watch TV with them.

But not if you’re in a space of your own.

The second time I told my daughter and her dad that I was going on a two-day writing retreat, which was true. But it wasn’t until it was over that I explained I’d been the only one at the retreat.

I went for walks, I wrote, I read.

I didn’t talk.

I listened to cars driving past, blokes playing sport on the oval up the road. The sounds of birds, the wind, insects. I thanked the thoughts of guilt when they came, then let them dissolve.

Agency and guilt are two of the balls I juggle as I stretch my wings to test their strength. Please excuse the clumsy metaphors. Done is better than perfect, as they say.

Wings to fly

So those two were a year apart. That’s interesting. Come the Junes had I had enough? Did I need some counterbalance mid-year? And what was happening at those times?

I quite like the wings metaphor, let’s think Angelina-Jolie-in-Malevolence type wings. So, in June 2017 you might say I was feeling the nice itch and burn of them under the skin on my back. Perhaps they were starting to protrude a little.

I’d been six months in an assistant manager position at a company for whom I’d worked, on and off, for over 20 years. A company, by the way, that in Year 12 I had sworn I would never work for. Careful what you feel strongly about is my advice to you!

If you ask me where I would have planned to work at that age, I couldn’t have told you – and I guess the universe just fills in the blanks for you sometimes, doesn’t it? Which can be good, or not so good.

Strength and the validation it brings

Anyway, I digress.

By June 2018 my wings had sprouted. Not long after my first brief, blissful sojourn, I had completed a semester of a combined English and Creative Writing/Secondary Education degree.

I deferred the following semester while I held the fort for my boss, who had been promoted to a new role. I absolutely did not want her job – leading a team of 17 across three states – but I was happy enough to fill in till they advertised her job and found someone new.

And to be honest I had gained confidence, having met a kindred spirit in Terri and benefiting from a series of coaching sessions with her; with doing well at my studies; and by being considered competent enough to be the acting manager.

And here we are, six months later, in this glorious tiny space. I would love to sleep the night, but again, juggling with agency and guilt, I find it difficult to justify staying away from home when I’m in the same town. I travel a bit for work, to Adelaide and Sydney, and of course, I stay away from my daughter then. But I have no choice – because I’m so far away.

Here, I am only five minutes down the road. And having the whole afternoon and then the whole next day to myself is good enough, for now.

But as soon as I got settled in this one, I was already planning my next stay. And I won’t even wait six months this time, let alone a year. The first time this is available again is two months from now. The only reason I haven’t already booked it is that I don’t want to seem too weird.

Remembering who you really are

Creating time and space for solitude is symbolic of my journey along the path of wholeheartedness. Believing I deserve to create this time and space for myself. Acknowledging its importance.

e e cummings said,

To be nobody-but-yourself – in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

Or condensed for modern times by Danielle LaPorte:

Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?

Getting away, stepping outside the realms of my normal life, into the magic of a life unlived, if only for brief periods of time, helps me remember who I really am. It is there I find myself. I have been there all along, but sometimes I am hard to find under the accumulated detritus of the world which does its best to make me (and all of us) everybody else.

In the majesty of silence, I can recalibrate, recharge, rejuvenate, rejoice. Quietly.

I remember thinking of Virginia Woolf and her room of one’s own. It’s a recurring fantasy of mine to rent a house of my own and semi-reside there. What riches could emerge? How might the fabric of the universe stretch and shimmer in those circumstances?

Trusting yourself and honouring your instincts

I also often long for a beloved, wise mentor. Someone who knows me, who sees me, who could guide me on the path. What’s the next right thing? Tara Mohr has an exquisite guided meditation, (you can find it here) where you journey to meet your future-self. I highly recommend it.

The last time I did it, my future-self lived alone (probably with a cat too) in a humble, funky, uncluttered small abode not far from the sea. She had wavy grey hair, and she was fit and strong. Her days consisted of long walks, reading, writing, and conversing with a community of like-minded folk from all over the planet via the world wide web.

I can see now she would live a waste-free life. She would cultivate vegetables and walk or ride to the local farmer’s market each Sunday to buy fruit and catch up with local friends face to face.

Besides solitude, reading is like breathing to me. I also love learning about astrology, and like many INFJ’s, have a wide smattering of interests.

Waking up

I have however recently acquired a new focus: climate change. I can’t believe I got to 43 knowing basically nothing about it.

In October 2018 I attended a local TEDx event. All the speakers were inspirational, but a talk by Darren Lomman of GreenBatch really stood out. He’s working to create the first plastic recycling facility in Perth, Western Australia because at the current rate, it’s predicted that there will be more plastic than fish in our oceans by 2050.

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) had just released their latest report on the state of the planet and Sarah Wilson (of I Quit Sugar and First We Make the Beast Beautiful fame) had posted a summary of it on her blog. I love Sarah’s no-nonsense take on things, and read her views with interest.

Since then, I have been learning about carbon dioxide emissions, what ppm means (parts per million), who the planet’s largest emitters are and how we can avert the potentially catastrophic consequences of our mindless pursuit of economic growth.

I have bought cloth pads and a menstrual cup. I am trying to reduce, reuse, or refuse single-use plastics. I have a large bowl in the sink to save the water that would normally go down the drain when I wash my hands and rinse dishes. I have a bucket in the shower to capture a portion of the water that washes over me.

It makes me think about others that I share this incredibly beneficent earth with, others who do not have toilets or disposable pads or tampons. Others who walk miles to get water. Others who have as much right as I do to feel the itch and burn of newly growing wings under their skin.

Courage to grow

And I am delving deeper into the science and political history of the climate emergency we face, because I want to do more than aspire to waste-free living; I want to help drive policy change.

I need to educate myself, because as much as I’m growing, there’s a saying I still tend to live by: better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

I find myself noticing moments of quiet with more frequency now, and recognising that creating quiet – and solitude – for myself is a necessity, not a luxury. Quiet and solitude allow me to work out what it is that I think, how to apply the ideas I generate, and how to be confident that when I do speak, it’s from a space of considered knowledge. Reading Greg McKeown’s Essentialism guided me to figure out what was essential for me, and to live that.

I believe though that most of us are trying to raise our awareness, and knowing that I am part of a community of brave souls, finding the courage to test our wings and raise our voices, gives me hope.

With such hope, it’s delicious to imagine how the fabric of the universe might stretch and shimmer.

Key book companions along the way

Here are some books I love that have supported me:

Presence – Amy Cuddy

Essentialism – Greg McKeown

The War of Art – Steven Pressfield

The Year of Magical Thinking – Joan Didion

Writing Down the Bones – Natalie Goldberg

Bird by Bird – Anne Lamott

The Hate Race – Maxine Beneba Clarke

Autobiography of a Yogi – Paramahansa Yogananda

Anything We Love Can Be Saved – Alice Walker

Quiet – Susan Cain (my first realisation that I was introverted, and not only was that a thing, and okay, but it brought incredible gifts)

The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood

Salt – Gabrielle Lord

This Changes Everything – Naomi Klein

Eaarth – Bill McKibben

Requiem for a Species – Clive Hamilton

About Bek Ireland

Bek Ireland leads a team of specialists helping communities build their financial capability. Bek loves reading and learning, and is passionately interested in the connections between things. She has studied, amongst many other things, astrology, English Literature, crystal healing and education. She is an INFJ and is interested in psychology and esoteric teachings. Bek has recently joined 350.org and is learning how she can contribute to raising awareness of global warming, and a sustainable future. You can find Bek on Instagram and Twitter.

Photographs 1, 4, 6 & 7 provided by Bek Ireland and used with permission and thanks.

Keep in touch + free Reading Wisdom Guide

You might also enjoy my free ‘Reading Wisdom Guide for Creatives, Coaches and Writers‘ with a summary of 45 wholehearted books to inspire your own journey. Just pop your email address in the box below.

You will receive access to the Wholehearted Library which includes the Reading Wisdom Guide and so much more! Plus you’ll receive monthly Beach Notes with updates and inspiring resources from Quiet Writing. This includes writing, personality type, coaching, creativity, tarot, productivity and ways to express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook Instagram and Twitter so keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. Look forward to connecting with you and inspiring your wholehearted story!

reading notes transcending

Ordinary People’s Mystical Experiences – a review of ‘Mystical Interludes II’ by Emily Rodavich

February 18, 2019

‘Mystical Interludes II’, collected and edited by Emily Rodavich, takes us into the world of ordinary people’s mystical experiences. Read on!

A mystical interlude, which resonates in the heart, can remind us of our spirituality and our connectedness to each other. This is why it is meaningful to take heed.

from Mystical Interludes II by Emily Rodavich

You might sense a theme emerging in Quiet Writing lately.

Independently, books have come to me that focus on mystical experiences. These books arrived in various ways and means, all dealing with people having extraordinary experiences. It was quite surprising. Coincidence? I think not.

These mystical experiences are called different things: mystical interludes or NOTEs, Non-ordinary Transcendent Experiences. Some involve a specific life-changing moment like a Near Death Experience. Others are a kind of synchronicity or meaningful coincidence, involving signs or symbols. Sometimes they are everyday occurrences with enormous significance beyond the moment. They could be events that connect over the decades. Or an experience that manifests through increased sensitivity of some kind.

It was clearly time for me to look closely into this realm of reality and reflect on my personal experience of the mystical. For it is something that just about everyone experiences and encounters if we pay attention. Often, it’s an occurrence that yields rich rewards of transformation and growth. This is especially the case if we honour the experience, feel able to talk about it and share it more publicly with others.

Reading Mystical Interludes II

I was delighted to have the opportunity to read Mystical Interludes II by Emily Rodavich to enrich my sense of ordinary people’s stories of the mystical. The backstory of this book is fascinating. Emily Rodavich wrote her first Mystical Interludes: An Ordinary Person’s Extraordinary Experiences as a memoir. Covering a series of lifetime mystical interludes, Emily seeks to make sense of encounter after encounter. These experiences include a near-death experience at 18. With the door opening to this aspect of experience, it seemed to usher in other spiritual experiences.

Emily reflects on her mystical interludes with this life wisdom:

I’ve come to realize that those powerful experiences have been extraordinary gifts that should be shared rather than closeted. It’s my hunch that the world is full of ordinary people like myself who have been surprised by similar incidents. It’s time we come forward and share them with each other and the world around us.

Mystical Interludes

So to put her weight behind this, Emily issued an invitation at the end of her memoir. She invited people who experienced a mystical interlude to submit a description of it for a new book. Mystical Interludes II is a collection of stories that came forward from ordinary people from that invitation and in other ways.

Emily speaking at a book talk

Ordinary people’s extraordinary stories

The quality that I love most about Emily’s Mystical Interludes II is that it is very much ordinary people telling extraordinary stories. You sense as you read that each author is continuing to make sense of what happened as they write. The overwhelming feeling is of everyone being right back in that moment even if it was many years ago. The details are sharp. It’s as if time stands still in the moment and everything is super-charged. The senses are activated in the story and in the telling.

Nancy Aloi in ‘Love from Beyond the Veil‘ describes a series of encounters defined by intense smells including tobacco and freshly baked bread. Smells that she connects with her late father, his spirit seemingly shepherds her through a difficult time.

Canela Michelle Meyers describes the expansive, light feeling of a Near Death Experience in her story, ‘Into the Blue’. The moments when Canela is ice-skating before she has a catastrophic fall are told in crystal clear detail. It’s as if the whole day and series of events are frozen in time.

Time after time, I marvelled at being in this house, in this hospital, in this room, on this street – in ordinary places with ordinary people having extraordinary things happen to them.

Overwhelming openness to experience

Each author reflects on these extraordinary experiences as a gift. They provide insights and learning that open the heart. Even when the experience was difficult or hard to understand, it resulted in a spirit of being more open.

Beverley Golden shares an “almost unexplainable experience with a past-life regression” in her story, ‘Answers from Another Place and Time.’ She concludes:

One thing I do know is that the experience has kept me open and willing to receive answers to questions, wherever they come from.

These ordinary people share conclusions from all kinds of extraordinary experiences. Conclusions about loved ones always being with us, living past lives, life beyond death and the power of mystical signposts to bring people together over time and circumstance. Each story has the effect of opening up your own experience and insight in the telling.

As Emily says in the introduction:

Just as each of us is an original one-of-a-kind being, each story is a unique, authentic revelation. The common thread throughout these narratives is that they are real. That reality is evidenced by their influences on their writers’ lives.

Extraordinary encounters of ordinary people

The authors are a rich mix of people. They include retirees, authors, physicians, integrative health practitioners, neighbours, teachers, artists, intuitives, psychologists, musicians. Authors of Quiet Writing Wholehearted Stories are contributors to this volume including Penelope Love and Maura McCarley Torkildson. Most of the authors I don’t know and some authors choose to remain anonymous.

This broad range of contributing authors reinforces the message that many people experience mystical interludes. I reflected on my own mystical interludes whilst reading this book. When reading Nicole Gruel’s book, I had an encounter experience around rainbows, a recurring symbol in my life. It’s as if in the reading of such books, our awareness is raised. We review the mystical experiences in our lives. Or they start to occur!

Suzanne Giesemann echoes this in her Foreword:

I know from my own research that simply by reading other people’s other-worldly experiences, we are more likely to experience such events ourselves.

The gathering of books and connections coming together on this topic in my life might be my own Mystical Interludes story! A whole series of personal connections has intersected during this past month or so of reading about mystical interludes. Chance and random encounters between people connected around mystical experiences. New connections made like it’s a web that extends between us. It has been an extraordinary light-filled time.

Connecting with Mystical Interludes

This is the real power and spirit of Mystical Interludes II and Emily’s collection of stories. The groundswell of interest in transcendent experiences is made richer by these detailed accounts of ordinary lives suddenly taking on another form.

We know from Emily’s gathering of these 39 stories, as well as Nicole Gruel’s research, that many people have such experiences but they may not talk about them. The stigma and the feeling of not being believed means many people have stayed quiet. Clearly, as these stories show, the immediacy and impact of these experiences does not fade with time. The retelling of them gives life and energy to the spirit of the experience.

I encourage you to read Mystical Interludes II to embolden yourself to think about such experiences in your life. And to share them with others. You might find yourself reflecting on your mystical experiences – past or present – as I have. If you have had a mystical interlude of your own, you might consider contributing your story to the forthcoming Mystical Interludes III.

Emily sharing her experiences via a book talk

Leadership in telling stories

The leadership of Emily Rodavich in telling her story as a role model and inviting and supporting others to tell their stories is powerful. It would be easy for these ordinary people to shy away from telling their stories. But in Emily’s very wise and inspired hands, these stories are dusted off, shaped and gathered together into a volume that speaks volumes about the nature of mystical experiences.

Emily’s book opens with a wonderful quote from Anthony de Mello:

Story-telling to shed light and share truth is what this book is all about. These are quiet stories, gently told, as they narrate momentous happenings. It is wonderful that more authors are choosing to write and share their mystical interludes story. It’s exciting too that Emily has stepped up to provide leadership to gather, honour and help voice the experiences of others.

I feel indebted to Emily and to all the authors for taking the time to share their stories in such detail, often from hidden or long ago places. I’m sure many readers will feel this same sense of respect and honour in witnessing these long-held stories of the heart and spirit. I encourage you to also witness these stories, their brave telling and what they might teach us about ourselves and our place in the world of spirit and the mystical.

Book Giveaway

I’m hosting a giveaway of Mystical Interludes II on Instagram and Facebook! Let’s celebrate ordinary people’s mystical interludes in the light of the Virgo Full Moon!

Working together with Emily Rodavich and Citrine Publishing, we have one printed copy of Mystical Interludes II to give away, sent to you anywhere in the world.

So make sure you are following me on Instagram and/or Facebook and follow the instructions to win this book in my posts on Tuesday 19 February AEDT. Good luck!

Thought pieces + footnotes

About Emily Rodavich

Emily Rodavich, retired English teacher, mother of three and grandmother of four, had a near death experience at age eighteen. That extraordinary event opened the door to a lifetime of spiritual happenings. Unable to share those mystical experiences with most friends or family for fear they’d think her “strange,” she kept them to herself. In recent years, realizing the ways those various mystical happenings had shaped her concept of reality and her character, she wrote her memoir, Mystical Interludes: An Ordinary Person’s Extraordinary Experiences, which chronicles ten of her stunning interludes. Believing that everybody experiences mystical interludes to some degree, she invited readers to submit their stories for publication in this, her second book, Mystical Interludes II: A Collection of Extraordinary People’s Extraordinary Experiences.

At the end of her speaking engagements Emily found that people wanted to hang out and talk about their experiences. The result was the formation of the Mystical Interludes Discussion Group (MIDG) starting with eight members who met in her home for the first time in March 2017. Today the group of fifty members rents space for their monthly meetings. Emily’s mission is to do her part to support our collective spiritual evolution by bringing personal mystical events out of shadow into the light. In so doing, she foresees a day when mystical interludes will be accepted as normal human events, rather than strange or weird occurrences.

Connect with Emily by visiting the Mystical Interludes website. To express your intention to write for the next edition, click on “Share Your Experience”.

Reading Mystical Interludes II

You can use the below Amazon affiliate links to access and read Mystical Interludes II if you choose with no additional cost to you. I receive a small commission to help keep Quiet Writing efforts, book reviews and giveaways flourishing.

For Amazon.com.au:

Mystical Interludes II: Kindle

Mystical Interludes II: Paperback

For Amazon.com:

Mystical Interludes II: Kindle

Mystical Interludes II: Paperback

For Amazon UK:

Mystical Interludes II: Kindle

Mystical Interludes II: Paperback

Image 2, 5 & 7 provided by Emily Rodavich and used with permission and thanks.

Image 3 via Pexels.com and used with permission and thanks.

You might also enjoy:

Non-ordinary transcendent experiences: a review of ‘The Power of Notes’ by Nicole Gruel PhD

Intuition: how to understand and master it – a review of ‘The Inner Tree’ by Maura McCarley Torkildson

The journey to write here: my wholehearted story

When the inner voice calls, and calls again – my journey to wholehearted living

Tackling trauma and “not enough” with empathy and vision – a wholehearted story

Personality Stories

Keep in touch + read the books that shaped my story

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Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. Look forward to connecting with you and inspiring your wholehearted story!

personality and story reading notes transcending

Non-Ordinary Transcendent Experiences – a review of ‘The Power of NOTEs’ by Nicole Gruel, PhD

January 18, 2019

Want to learn more about Non-Ordinary Transcendent Experiences? ‘The Power of NOTEs’ will help you understand and work with them as a source for transformation. Read on!

NOTEs are an important aspect of the human experience that help point towards and awaken the desire, curiosity, and courage to explore more of what life could be.

from The Power of NOTEs by Nicole Gruel PhD

Nicole Gruel PhD

Have you ever experienced something that felt out of the ordinary, super-charged or transcendent, that changed your life in some key way?

Many of us have, yet it’s an area of human experience we tend not to talk about. Often this is because we don’t quite understand what happened. We keep quiet, often for years, as we try to make sense of it and what it meant. It’s frequently a solitary, and sometimes, painful journey. But more people are beginning to talk about these non-ordinary transcendent experiences however they manifest. They are emerging as sources of positive transformation and personal power if we pay attention, talk about them and work through them.

Dr Nicole Gruel’s new book, ‘The Power of NOTEs: How Non-Ordinary Transcendent Experiences Transform the Way We Live, Love and Lead‘ is an important, research-based contribution to the field of spiritual psychology and transformation.

After a near-death experience and the sudden loss of family members, Nicole found herself deep in the realm of non-ordinary transcendent experiences. In particular, she learnt their power for positive change.

Nicole has gone on to explore NOTEs deeply including via PhD studies. Her Doctoral Dissertation focused on “AfterNOTEs: Non-Ordinary Transcendent Experiences and their Aftereffects Through Jung’s Topology”. This involved interviewing people who had experienced NOTES and working through the psychological dimensions of their response. This deep qualitative and quantitative research, combined with personal experience and NOTEs community connection, provides the rich source material that this excellent, practical book is woven around.

So what are NOTEs?

A non-ordinary transcendent experience is a rare and unfamiliar event that takes you beyond your regular understanding of yourself and the world.

from The Power of NOTES

An acronym created by transpersonal psychologist William Braud, ‘NOTE’ captures experiences at the intersection of “paranormal research, exceptional human experiences, and transpersonal psychology.” (p3). Well-known examples include near-death experiences and paranormal encounters, but the scope of NOTEs is much wider and more inclusive than this.

In the opening chapter, Nicole explains that she groups over 500 potential NOTEs into nine categories, such as Death-related experiences, Encounter experiences, and Mystical experiences. Nicole describes each category of NOTEs, helping the reader to connect with their own personal database of experiences.

What is the power of NOTEs?

The power of NOTEs is realising their potential for our growth and insight. Nicole explains the ability of NOTEs to take us out of ourselves and our habitual ways of being:

For many experiencers, tasting our core self is the greatest gift of a NOTE. (p7)

It is a type of disruption forcing our attention in new ways and often taking some time to integrate. This is often because societal and cultural contexts make it hard for us to talk about them. Nicole explores this with examples from the lives of experiencers. She shows too that NOTEs offer wisdom and insight that has implications beyond the individual.

Greater wisdom calls for us to access the insights of NOTEs as best we can, for these experiences provide a necessary lens into other ways of seeing and being in the world. (p9)

Research shows that when people share NOTEs, it has many benefits for individual wellbeing, such as reducing stress. Nicole has made it her mission to help people share and understand NOTEs as part of the human and collective experience.

The landscape of NOTEs

I had the pleasure of attending the online launch of Nicole’s book recently, where we had a virtual tour through the book. We also heard from leaders and writers in the NOTEs community. These experiences, alongside reading the book, have helped me better understand the landscape of NOTEs.

The book explores NOTEs from all perspectives including the dark and light sides of being an experiencer and from the viewpoint of neuroscience. Nicole scopes neuroscience perspectives and evidence that shows we are hard-wired to experience NOTEs.

A fellow personality type practitioner, Nicole also looks through the personality lens at the gifts of NOTEs:

NOTEs are powerful because they put us on the fast track toward a fuller expression of who we most naturally and uniquely are.

Research shows that the specific content of a near-death experience, its impact and significance is influenced by people’s personal psychology.

Connecting NOTEs experiences with Jung’s eight psychological types, Nicole explores eight gifts or transcendent dimensions of personality using James Graham Johnston’s model of the Gift’s Compass™. For example, Introverted Thinking (Ti) connects with The Conceptual Gift.

Using this lens of personality, Nicole explains that:

Experiencer stories show that the more the natural or true self is made available through NOTEs, the more a person’s dominant personality preferences take on transcendent aspects. (p40)

This ground-breaking perspective, informed by conversations with NOTEs experiencers, helps provide psychological insights into these transcendent events.

Working and transforming with NOTEs

The second half of the book explores NOTEs as clues to our natural flow states; ways to work with NOTEs during and beyond experiences; and how NOTEs can be a transformative power in how we live, love and lead.

Each chapter provides practical tips and practices for working with NOTEs as a transformative power source. Nicole shows how we can create a NOTEs biography and Well-being Wheel, with these tools based on recent, pioneering research and experiences of people actively working on integrating NOTEs into life stories. The self-leadership framework highlights the importance of validating and appropriately sharing NOTEs.

Ultimately, no one is a better coach and guide for you than you. (p62)

The power of love and legacy are keys to the self-leadership experience of working with NOTEs in a personally transformative way.

The experience of reading The Power of NOTEs

I encourage you to read The Power of NOTEs. It is beautifully and clearly written, full of lived and researched wisdom. As Katie Mottram puts it so well in her foreword:

This is not just a book; Nicole has gifted you an experience.

I couldn’t agree more. As if to highlight this, I had a transcendent experience during my reading of the book.

I realised my experiences of NOTEs are mostly in the Encounter experiences category: a kind of synchronicity related to “something wondrous or awesome, like a spectacular view or moving music...” Many years ago, I had a series of astounding synchronistic events with rainbows at a peak time of change and transformation. They had a profound effect on me as rainbow after rainbow connected in an ongoing narrative.

I started Nicole’s book in the early morning hours of a sleepless night two days away from Christmas, the first anniversary of my mother’s death. A few hours later, still restless, I got up early and headed out to the deck. There the most stunning rainbow greeted me in the sky. Rainbows are something I connect with my mother and also my father. I chose songs and poems with the symbolism of rainbows for both their funerals as a way of continuing to connect with them.

My experience of reading the book, reflecting on my own NOTEs symbolism, seemed to open up this connection. It would have been so easy to miss this rainbow.

Connecting with the power of NOTEs

Reading this book will help you connect with the power of NOTEs in your life. As the ‘Praise’ upfront in the book, the Foreword and the online book launch all show, there is a groundswell of research, interest and support in the area of non-ordinary transcendent experiences.

Organisations such as the International Spiritual Emergence Network (ISEN), American Center for the Integration of Spiritually Transformative Experiences (ACISTE), the International Association for Near Death Studies (IANDS) and the Near Death Experience Research Foundation (NDERF) provide a touchpoint for experiences and research around them. You can find further links and information here.

More authors are stepping up to write their stories and gather, honour and structure the experiences of others as Nicole has done. You might like to read my book review of Mystical Interludes II – a Collection of Ordinary People’s Mystical Experiences, collected and edited by Emily Rodavich. The Power of NOTES and Mystical Interludes II came to me in a synchronistic way, at the same time from unique connections but covering similar terrain.

Read Nicole Gruel’s book to recognise, honour and structure such experiences in your life and also in the lives of those you love. If you have had a NOTE, this book can help others share in and understand your experience. Likewise, if you think someone you know may have experienced a NOTE, this book is a useful way to open the conversation or quietly support them. For counsellors, coaches and other professional people, this is an important resource to open up thoughts about spiritually transformative experiences in practice.

And as I finish writing, I hear the sounds of the children next door playing under the water sprinkler in the Sydney midsummer heat. One excitedly shouts: “There’s a rainbow!”

Thought pieces + footnotes

Dr Nicole Gruel is an author, speaker and transformational coach. Descendant from a long line of samurai, she has spent over two decades exploring human potential. You can connect with her at DrNicoleGruel.com.

The Power of NOTES was provided as a review copy by the author in return for a fair review. I am grateful to Dr Nicole Gruel for sharing this book with me.

To purchase, you can use the below link.

For Amazon.com.au:

The Power of NOTEs: Non-Ordinary Transcendent Experiences Transforming the Way We Live, Love, and Lead

Image 1 (feature image), 2 & 5 provided by Nicole Gruel and used with permission and thanks.

You might also enjoy:

Intuition: how to understand and master it – a review of ‘The Inner Tree’ by Maura McCarley Torkildson

“You are the authority on you”: a review of Danielle LaPorte’s White Hot Truth

Being ‘Fierce on the Page’ – a book review

Being a vessel – or working with introverted intuition

36 Books that Shaped my Story – Reading as Creative Influence

When the inner voice calls, and calls again – my journey to wholehearted livings

How to read for more creativity, productivity and pleasure

Keep in touch

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. Look forward to connecting with you and inspiring your wholehearted story!

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intuition personality and story reading notes

Intuition: how to understand and master it – a review of ‘The Inner Tree’ by Maura McCarley Torkildson

January 10, 2019

Want to understand and enhance your intuition? The book ‘The Inner Tree’ will help you with the science, experience and practice of intuition. Read on!

Einstein wrote, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind its faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

from The Inner Tree by Maura McCarley Torkildson, Foreword by Randy Fauver PhD

As a personality type practitioner with INTJ preferences and Introverted Intuition as my lead cognitive process, intuition is an area I have explored personally and professionally. But intuition always retains its mystical qualities even though I use it all the time. Learning to trust and understand intuition and how it works remains a challenge. Carl Jung said of the Introverted Intuitive:

So the introverted intuitive has in a way a very difficult life, although one of the most interesting lives, but it is often difficult to get into their confidence.

C.G. Jung Speaking: Interviews and Encounters p311

I can vouch for that. Anyone who is very intuitive – introverted or extraverted in orientation – will know that intuition continues to feel mysterious and hard to pin down. And for those who are not naturally intuitive, I am sure working with intuition can feel even more mysterious.

So I was very grateful to receive Maura McCarley Torkildson’s excellent new book ‘The Inner Tree: Discovering the Roots of Your Intuition and Overcoming Barriers to Mastering It‘. It is a fascinating read, shedding light on intuition from a range of perspectives including evidence-based ones. Here are some thoughts on the book’s key focus and value for those interested in exploring intuition further.

The evidence about intuition

The book commences with a foreword by Randy Fauver, PhD, Professor and Researcher in Consciousness Studies and Integrative Medicine. This insightful piece both stands alone and sets the context for Maura’s book beautifully. It highlights that intuition is about mastering and developing intuitive abilities but also about understanding the science and contexts for its practice.

Randy Fauver explains lessons around inner life, signals and synchronicity and provides stories of intuition in practice. But it was the evidence and research-based information about intuition that I found so fascinating. Linking in with ‘The Inner Tree‘, the central image of intuition in the book, Fauver explores scientific support for nature, shamanic healing and unifying states of consciousness.

The most exciting part of his foreword is about the science of non-ordinary ways of receiving intuitive information. He explains three key ways we might receive intuitive information: the pineal gland in the brain, the heart and the gut.

Reading through, it all made sense. For example, we talk about “gut reaction”, “having a gut feeling”, and “not being able to stomach something”. The scientific reasons why this might be so are explained with supporting research. There are more receptors for emotions in the gut than anywhere else. No wonder we perceive things in this way so directly. However, as Fauver explains, we often doubt our reactions because they don’t align with cultural concepts of perceiving, especially Western ones.

The mystery and science of intuition

The most mindblowing part of the foreword is a discussion about memory at a cellular level. Fauver cites “numerous accounts of organ transplant recipients experiencing changes in their personality that coincide with the characteristics of the organ donor.” (Fauver, 2018: xxxi, in Torkildson, 2018). As an example, an eight-year-old receiving a heart from a ten-year-old girl who was murdered is able to assist police to identify the male attacker of the girl who died. The evidence she provides aligns with the murderer’s confession.

These insights helped me get a better handle on intuition at its most mysterious from both a scientific and practical perspective. Knowing that intuition involves these three key receptors: brain, heart and gut was so enlightening. I also gained a stronger understanding of the challenges of working with intuition because of the cultural overlays we operate in. As Fauver says in closing:

All science can do is to strengthen your belief in the existence of intuition; Maura’s book can lead you to directly experience the incredible power of intuition.

With many references sprinkled throughout this outstanding book, I look forward to reading more of the scientific studies cited.

The practice of intuition

With the scene set, we launch further into Maura’s gift of a book on the practice of intuition. Her focus is on the lived experience of developing intuition. She also provides insights into the barriers we can face in developing intuition and how to overcome them. The cultural bias to not trust our intuition, especially in western society, looms large as a background issue. It explains why we can find experiencing and talking about intuition so challenging. As Maura says in her preface:

Nowhere in my life was I ever urged to look inside myself for truth. (p.xxxvii)

My life transition has encouraged me to embrace my intuition via tarot and oracle work as a practice of wholeness. This started because of feeling half-hearted in areas of my life especially the more corporate ones. Maura has also found that feeling empty led her to look inward. Creativity, coaching and listening to signs as guides emerge as key aspects opening her up more to intuition.

Understanding intuition and tools to work with it

Maura discusses the Tree of Life and symbolism of The Inner Tree to explain this need to go inward. She explores this from the perspective of experience, myth and meditation. There are meditation practices and activities to help apply the learning. She outlines the steps of embracing intuition:

With intuition, the secret is to notice it; second, is to trust it is real; and third, is to take the risk of acting on it (which deepens your trust). (p9)

Maura discusses many practical issues: grounding, presence awareness, patience, flow and joy. These are emotions and processes I have also experienced on my intuitive journey. Having a framework, language and practice for making meaning from them is so powerful.

‘The Clairs’ are discussed: clairsentience, clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairgustance, claircognizance and claircreative. All different psychic abilities, they are examples of how information can present itself in our experience of intuition. It is valuable to reflect on how we might be receiving information as a way of understanding and honouring intuition.

Barriers to the development of our inner tree of intuition are explored including the emotional body, grief and shame, working with shadows and managing fear and ego. Practising working with our emotions in various ways is shown as central to opening ourselves up to intuition. Practical tools for working through this are generously provided including Presence Awareness Meditations (with audio links), Body Awareness Practices and Body Maps.

Maura shares her “unconventional” experience of a fairy ally appearing in a matter of fact and accepting way, saying this is how it is. (This story is included in Mystical Interludes II – review coming soon.) She also provides tools for working with the shadow side of life such as jealousy, fear and the ego emphasising their role in intuition and wholeness.

Building our intuitive muscle

The final section of the book bringing all of this together into holistic practices. The mystery of intuition sits side by side with the scientific evidence presented:

The universe works in mysterious ways and we don’t usually have the whole picture. (p149)

Developing trust in our intuition emerges as a key practice as does trusting the ways we choose to connect with it. Tools and practices such as curiosity, journaling, working with others, connecting with the gifts of nature, synchronicity and oracles are all ways to build intuitive muscle. The process is described as one of relationship and connection as well as strengthening the practice.

‘The Inner Tree‘ helped me make sense of my evolving intuitive practice. Even as a personality strength, it’s something I have struggled to understand and own. My experience is of developing intuition day in and day out, sharing it with others and sifting through my feelings about it all. The strangeness in thinking I can provide intuitive insights for myself and others via sharing Tarot and Oracle work has been a key barrier to work through. Not to mention, pushing through thoughts of what others might think about it!

I have learnt to trust that my work makes sense on another level beyond me. And I have learnt to trust that not having the whole picture is perfectly fine. On a day to day level, it makes sense and helps me make meaning of my life and creative practice as it evolves. And if my work can help others on their journey, then why not share what I learn?

The Inner Tree – support for intuitive practice

So I am very grateful for ‘The Inner Tree’ and the rich wisdom within it. It’s the first time I have read a detailed account of the science and practice of intuition. Maura sensitively articulates the mysteries she has experienced into a soulful framework we can work with. This is such valuable support for developing intuition.

With its combination of science and practice, ‘The Inner Tree‘ is a resource for understanding intuition as a skill and way of absorbing information. It provides the language, structure and reference points for its practice. In this way, it helps us make sense of experience and build knowledge of how to grow intuitive skills.

‘The Inner Tree’ is a gentle handbook and companion for entering these mysteries with its mix of science and experience. It’s helpful for those who find intuition is not a natural preference. It is insightful too for people who prefer intuition but appreciate support to make sense of how it works. Some people might find the science a bit much; others might find the spiritual dimensions a bit much. But it is the strength of the two taken together as a thread throughout this book that is its key value. Hopefully, everyone can shift a little from where they are in reading it.

Wherever you are on the journey of working with intuition, ‘The Inner Tree‘ offers insight and wisdom for further navigating this journey. There are scientific papers to discover and chase up. You will read about intuitive sources of information you might be excited to recognise and explore. There are numerous practices you can embed further into your life to bring your intuition alive. This book is a welcome addition to the literature on intuition and personality and to the practical genre of self-discovery and self-leadership writing.

Thought pieces + footnotes

Maura McCarley Torkildson, M.A. is an author, speaker, artist, intuitive and Soul Creativity Support Mentor at MauraTorkildsonCoaching.com

The book is available at: ‘The Inner Tree: Discovering the Roots of Your Intuition and Overcoming Barriers to Mastering It‘.

Maura Torkildson has shared her Wholehearted Story on Tackling Trauma with Empathy and Vision on Quiet Writing. Hop over to read!

The Inner Tree was provided as a review copy by the author in return for a fair review and sharing of it. I am grateful to Maura McCarley Torkildson and Citrine Publishing for sharing this book with me.

My thanks too to Peter Geyer for assistance with the wording and reference for the Carl Jung quote.

Via Amazon.com.au:
The Inner Tree: Discovering the Roots of Your Intuition and Overcoming Barriers to Mastering It

Via Amazon.com:

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Via Amazon.co.uk:

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You might also enjoy:

Intuition, writing and work: eight ways intuition can guide your creativity

Introverted and extraverted intuition: how to make intuition a strong practice

Being a vessel – or working with introverted intuition

Overwhelm, intuition and thinking

When the inner voice calls, and calls again – my journey to wholehearted living

Music, intuition and messages of songs

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inspiration & influence writing

Honor Your Lineage by Sage Cohen – from Fierce on the Page

October 19, 2017

This guest post, Honor Your Lineage, by Sage Cohen, is from her book Fierce on the Page which helps you become the writer you were meant to be. I am indebted to Sage for this piece that led to the creation of my free ebook, 36 Books that Shaped my Story: Reading as Creative Influence. I’m so grateful to Sage for being able to share this inspirational essay in full here. Sage is a writing mentor and support to me and many aspiring and practicing writers. Fierce on the Page and Writing the Life Poetic feature in my 36 influential books. Enjoy reading and I hope this piece inspires rich reflections on your literary lineage, as it has done for me.

I have always been magnetically drawn to the books I need as teachers. Recently I cleared a shelf and, with great reverence, placed on it the books I most love—the ones that have shaped me in the way that water shapes stones, almost imperceptibly over time.

Whenever I scan their proud spines all lined up in a row, I think of how this shelf reflects my literary lineage. These are the poets and writers whose work whispers directly into my ear to penetrate my being and reveal what I need to know about being a person and a writer. These are my literary ancestors and immediate family.

I consider each book with gratitude: Sharon Olds’s The Dead and the Living, the dog-eared, tear-stained poetry collection that I have been returning to since my early twenties when I so desperately wanted to write a collection of its caliber that I considered giving up poetry altogether; Lidia Yuknavitch’s The Chronology of Water: A Memoir, which sings through me as if its narrative were a plucked string of the sitar calling forth my own story in accompaniment; Kim Rosen’s Saved By a Poem, affirming my lifelong practice of poetry as sacred medicine; When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chódrón, which has instructed me how to make the crossing from resistance to acceptance in my darkest moments.

This small literary collection, along with the rest of the books on my “lineage shelf” is a funhouse mirror reflection of who I am, what I love, and from where I have come. I imagine the little serif font letters swimming through my cells. The words that come through me now have breathed the amniotic suspended dreams of every word I have admired, allowed in, and sent back into the world. These titles are a bouquet harvested of my desire to enter the universal human experience through poem and story.

Here, in the authority and stability of its literary family, the title of my next project presents itself. It is shy, wobbly, unsure of whether to trust my hand. We sit together, and I listen. Take a few notes. A large fluff of dandelion seed drifts by my open window as the peas in the garden bed below nod in the wind.

By taking the time to name and appreciate my literary lineage, the next step on my path reveals itself to me. I wonder if that’s really all our writing asks of us: to know what we love, to listen, and to give ourselves over to what presents itself.

Be Fierce

I invite you to honor the books you love most by giving them their own shelf (or even their own pile). Then sit with them and appreciate how they have informed your vision, your craft, or your sense of direction in your writing life. Is something inside you lingering on the peripheries, wanting to come through? What work of yours belongs on this shelf, in this company? What knowledge have you gained from these books that now informs your own literary legacy?

* * * * *

Sage Cohen is the author of Fierce on the Page from Writer’s Digest Books and three other books. Her agency Sage Cohen Global crafts communication, education, and empowerment solutions that help people and businesses change the conversation. She serves writers at sagecohen.com and divorcing parents at radicaldivorce.com.

Read about the 36 books that shaped my story

This essay inspired a fabulous journey of revisiting the books that influenced my writing and life story. You can download my free ebook on my literary lineage and the 36 books that have shaped my story – just sign up with your email address in the box to the right or below. You will also receive updates from Quiet Writing and its passions. This includes personality type developments, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot and other connections to help express your unique voice in the world.

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Reading as Creative Influence – 36 Books that Shaped my Story

September 1, 2017

My free ebook ’36 Books that Shaped my Story: Reading as Creative Influence’ celebrates the books we love as our creative legacy and the clues they give as to what is emerging in our story.

Get your copy of 36 Books that Shaped my Story now!

The story of ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

I’m excited to be sharing the story of the ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’ with you!

This was my first free resource I created here in 2017. But it’s so powerful, I’m sharing it again now in case you missed it. When working out the special free ebook gift to share, I wanted something that summed up the heart of Quiet Writing. I wanted to create something that sparked creativity, shared generously and provided a springboard for reflections.

And I kept coming back to books. Sharing books that made a difference to me, how they influenced me and shaped my life. Because I learnt that reflecting on this can be a source of growth.

Words are at the heart of Quiet Writing – the words we read, the words we write, the words we say to ourselves or another person such as a trusted friend or coach as we form our vision and process our journey. The words we listen to as we read, as we engage with another fully and the words we want to write.

And story is the shape the words make – the narrative we weave through the body of work that we create through career, our creative endeavours and our passions. This story is unique – no one has read the same books as you in the same way; no one has the same life experiences as you; and you are the only one to combine your passions and experiences in the way that you do.

Gathering special books around us

I’ve always gathered special books around me as a sort of altar, a source of strength, a connection to influence. They are like a wise chorus of silent voices surrounding me. So when I read Sage Cohen’s essay, ‘Honor your lineage’ in her book, Fierce on the Page, it rang special bells of resonance. Sage explains:

I have always been magnetically drawn to the books I need as teachers. Recently I cleared a shelf and, with great reverence, placed on it the books I most love – the ones that have shaped me in the way that water shapes stones, almost imperceptibly over time.

She invites us to gather the books we most love around us and to sit with them and appreciate how they have influenced our vision and sense of direction, especially in our writing life.

And importantly, she flags that in the light and strength of these books and words, the heart of what we want to write is lingering:

I wonder if that’s really all our writing asks of us: to know what we love, to listen, and to give ourselves over to what presents itself.

What I did to shape 36 Books

So that’s what I did – I gathered the special books that have shaped me over time. I spent time with each of them, honouring what they have brought to me. And it became a fascinating and deep exercise. Choosing them, remembering what they have given me, unpacking and unravelling it a little more. I organised it into a continuum, seeing how it fitted in the context of my life – an insightful joy. And I learnt so much about myself and the recurring themes in my life.

It became a deep excavation and navigation of what I love and how it drives me.

And that is the heart of Quiet Writing – it’s about gathering the threads of our lives, finding the connecting pieces and weaving them together.

I communicate this heart and this spirit, through writing and coaching, the twin hearts of Quiet Writing, so we can work with it in a supportive way to shine. For when we find those connecting pieces, those values, those desires, those long held passions and values, they can help us negotiate the next phase more successfully and work out what we really want to do and feel.

What to expect in ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

So what can you expect in ‘36 Books that Shaped my Story: Reading as Creative Influence‘? It’s a 94 page pdf. It starts with a personal essay about the rationale and process drawing the threads of the experiment and experience together into key themes.

The second part then tracks through each of the 36 books individually and shows how they appeared in the context of my life and the legacy and influence they have provided. There are also suggestions as to why you might want to read each book.

Taken overall, the book shows how the books you love can be a:

source of writing inspiration
timeline for reflection
prompt for memoir
way of gathering evidence about your body of work over time
guide for understanding what you really love
pathway for noticing the key themes of your life
key to the influences that are your guiding light and
a narrative for your life.

I think you will find it a valuable read about the value of books and reading as creative influence and as a way of finding clues to help you enrich your quiet writing life.

How to get your copy of ’36 Books’

Just pop your details in the form below to receive your copy of ’36 Books’!

It’s 94 pages of deep-dive reading on books and the insight and clues they can provide us for living a wholehearted life.

If you are a book lover, this is for you!

Get your copy of 36 Books that Shaped my Story now!

You will also receive my regular ‘Beach Notes’ newsletter. It’s full of inspiration about books, writing, story, narrative, voice, personality and all things quiet writing. I send it out 1-2 times a month. You’ll also get early advice about Quiet Writing coaching, writing and learning opportunities.

I hope you enjoy ‘36 Books’. It’s an opportunity for us to reflect on our thoughts on reading, books, creativity, influence, story, narrative and writing. These are all fabulous inspirations central to Quiet Writing and the community here.

I can’t wait to hear your feedback – happy reading and reflection!

books

Reclaiming sovereignty

Wings to fly

Strength and the validation it brings

Remembering who you really are

Trusting yourself and honouring your instincts

Waking up

Courage to grow

Key book companions along the way

About Bek Ireland

Read more Wholehearted Stories

Keep in touch + free Reading Wisdom Guide

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A mystical interlude, which resonates in the heart, can remind us of our spirituality and our connectedness to each other. This is why it is meaningful to take heed.

Reading Mystical Interludes II

Ordinary people’s extraordinary stories

Overwhelming openness to experience

Extraordinary encounters of ordinary people

Connecting with Mystical Interludes

Leadership in telling stories

Book Giveaway

Thought pieces + footnotes

About Emily Rodavich

Reading Mystical Interludes II

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Keep in touch + read the books that shaped my story

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NOTEs are an important aspect of the human experience that help point towards and awaken the desire, curiosity, and courage to explore more of what life could be.

So what are NOTEs?

What is the power of NOTEs?

The landscape of NOTEs

Working and transforming with NOTEs

The experience of reading The Power of NOTEs

Connecting with the power of NOTEs

Thought pieces + footnotes

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Keep in touch

Share this:

Like this:

Einstein wrote, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind its faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

The evidence about intuition

The mystery and science of intuition

The practice of intuition

Understanding intuition and tools to work with it

Building our intuitive muscle

The Inner Tree – support for intuitive practice

Thought pieces + footnotes

You might also enjoy:

Keep in touch

Share this:

Like this:

Read about the 36 books that shaped my story

Share this:

Like this:

The story of ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

Gathering special books around us

What I did to shape 36 Books

What to expect in ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

How to get your copy of ’36 Books’

Read more!

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