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Joy and grief: the paradox and wisdom of finding joy alongside grief

December 19, 2018

This post explores joy and grief: how I have been able to find joy alongside deep grief, the challenges and what it has it taught me.

When you see joy beside the agony, you have the keen vision of a Soul warrior.

Danielle LaPorte

Joy and grief in 2018

Joy is my word of the year for 2018. I shared the beginning of my story of working with ‘joy’ here. It certainly wasn’t what I expected. Though I knew it was never going to be an easy or straightforward journey. Reflecting on this past year, I’ve found the journey of exploring joy falls into themes or stages around the quarters of the year of finding joy…

alongside deep grief
and resilience in challenge
in travel and being away from home
in creative work and my calling

This post explores finding joy alongside deep grief and how the two can co-exist. A focus of the first quarter of 2018, this theme and learning has continued through-out this year in different ways. It’s been an undercurrent that I continue to work with even now.

The challenge of choosing joy

Choosing joy as my word was always going to be full of challenge. The end of 2016 and all of 2017 were very challenging as I supported my beautiful mother after her diagnosis with metastatic breast cancer in September 2016. After a very tough year, my mother passed away on Christmas Day last year and her funeral was in the first week of 2018. So as you can imagine, joy was not a feature of life through that time.

But I chose the word joy because I wanted more of it in my life. It’s a word often associated with Christmas and that time highlighted just how far I felt from feeling joy. Even the concept of ‘enJOYing’ life in any way can seem challenging when you are caring for another with a terminal illness and then supporting them in the final stages of life. A friend described this time as an “agonising privilege” and it is this exactly. So putting in a claim for a year around joy in 2018 always felt somewhat audacious and optimistic. I wondered what it would bring.

Finding joy alongside deep grief

Balancing even the thought of joy with grief was hard in practice especially at the start of the year. I attended the Priestess Business Workshop, part of The Goddess Roadtrip led by Julie Parker and Sora Surya No in early January. It was the day before my mother’s funeral and being amongst powerful, supportive allies and female energy felt like the best place to be. The wonderful Jade McKenzie ran a session at the workshop on being seen and what we unapologetically wanted to be. We stood up one by one to say this and be witnessed by the room and women there.

The statement I wrote down, in line with my word of the year, was: “I am unapologetically joyful.” When it came to my turn to stand up, I just froze. I couldn’t get the words out. The tears came and the room, full of female coaches and healers of all kinds, was silent and encouraging. All the women there held powerful, silent space for me as I gathered my strength and dealt with the tsunami of emotions barrelling through me.

Eventually, through tears, I was able to say the words, “I am unapologetically joyful“. I felt immediately stronger claiming joy, if also very fragile. It demonstrated the enormous tension that lies in the juxtaposition of grief and joy. I began to have a deeper sense that day of how challenging this paradox of grief and joy might be.

It’s like we are drawn into a binary view of the world, not allowing ourselves to feel joy in any way when we are in deep sadness and pain. I realised finding joy, playfulness, fun, laughter and happiness again against a backdrop of deep grief was not going to be easy. But it felt central to this year’s journey.

The paradox of joy and grief

A big learning this year is that it’s okay to feel the joy of everyday things at the same time as we feel immense pain. We tend to make it an either/or, saying to ourselves either I feel grief or I feel joy. I cannot feel both. It can feel like a terrible tension and betrayal of our pain if we feel good in any way. And feeling joy or lighter feelings can somehow feel like a betrayal of a particular person and their memory. It as if we feel we need to stay in a certain emotional space to honour that person. In this, we can deny ourselves positive feelings and experiences that can help us move through the grief and loss. Over time, this can set in and become habitual and the mindset of how we live.

Danielle LaPorte in her book White Hot Truth has much to say about the wisdom of paradox and courage to change your beliefs. She deals with a number of paradoxes such as:

Lead with your heart and… Your head.

Be open-hearted and… Have clear, strong boundaries.

Trust and… Do the work.
From Rock Your Paradoxes

For me, joy and grief is a kind of paradox and polarity we can work with, one that does rock our beliefs but brings wisdom in its wake.

Difference between joy and happiness

Danielle has something to say about that too in her piece, The difference between joy and happiness. And why it helps to know.

Herein lies the heart of the matter. The key thing is it is not about a mutually exclusive choice between feeling grief or joy. It’s not about the more fleeting feelings of happiness either. Learning to navigate the paradox of feeling joy and grief at the same time is a journey of wisdom. It’s one I’ve spent much of the year on. Danielle’s piece provides powerful insights. Here are a few perspectives that distil my experiential learning about joy and grief:

Consciousness is not an either/or equation. It’s about bothness.
The capacity to expand into bothness — the awareness of your joy in all circumstances — is so much of what it means to evolve…

Happiness is like rising bubbles — delightful and inevitably fleeting. Joy is the oxygen — ever present….

Joy is the fibre of your Soul….

This means that it’s possible to grieve with your whole heart, and still sense your joy. You can feel rage, and be aware of joy waiting patiently for you to return, and take deep comfort in that.
Danielle LaPorte

Lessons from joy and grief

So this year has been full of heart-felt lessons about joy and grief.

It’s been full of learning to live in paradox and seeing joy as a kind of oxygen. This learning set the tone of the first quarter of the year as I moved through the deep grief of losing my mother. As people who have been there will know, it’s a defining moment of your life. At the same time, I also experienced my job being deleted and becoming redundant in February. So there were layers of different kinds of grief I was working through all at the same time.

I learnt it was okay to feel joy – celebrating the joy of my mother’s beautiful life, the strength that lives on in me, my female ancestry and lineage, her loving kindness and knowing she was cheering me on as always as I moved into a new phase of life. All of these qualities and the simple pleasures of water, light, tea, sun, reading, swimming, friends and family helped me navigate much at this time.

Grief and joy can co-exist. By weaving one with the other, the passage through is deeply felt but somehow more sure-footed and grounded. Being able to smile and embrace the full gamut of emotions simultaneously is a wholehearted learning joy has taught me.

This first part of the year set the tone. It taught me that joy is often found in the smallest moments that we allow ourselves to feel even as we feel great sorrow. The light of joy can shine gently into the shadows of our sadness helping us find pockets of positive reflections to sustain us and move us forward.

I learnt more on this on the way through the year – and share further in the next posts to come.

Shared with much love and in memory of my mother, the most truly beautiful person, who taught me how to feel joy alongside deep grief in the most selfless of ways.

More information: Word of the Year resources

Working on a Word of the Year is a powerful process. Susannah Conway has a fabulous free Word of the Year ecourse available each year that I often dive into. It works really well alongside the Unravel Your Year process and free workbook that Susannah also creates and generously shares each year. I’ve been working through both processes to review my year and plan for the next one since 2014.

I credit these practices with contributing to deep realisations about where I was stuck and needed to make change. In 2016, I started doing things differently and began to make my transition and now at the end of 2018, I am two years in to my change journey and life is very different. It’s much more in line with the dreams and visions I had way back in 2014!

Amy Palko also offers My Word Goddess Readings with suggestions for your word for the year linked to a Goddess of the Year. Also a practice I have invested in for a few years now, it provides valuable intuitive insights and suggestions for words that might help drive your year’s energy positively.

Keep in touch + read the books that shaped my story

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inspiration & influence reading notes

“You are the authority on you” – a review of Danielle LaPorte’s ‘White Hot Truth’

April 4, 2017

“I’m a seeker who writes about what I find. And maybe, on just the right day, I can help you flatten your learning curve. If I’ve got anything to say, it’s this: you are the authority on you.”
Danielle LaPorte – White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path from one seeker to another

I am a huge fan of Danielle LaPorte. I love her clear, crisp, grounded, heart-filled way of talking and thinking. Her work is concurrently suffused with spirit and light whilst being grounded in experience and day to day living.

She speaks directly to my heart, and I’ve been listening for nearly 10 years now since I first came across her work when I was somewhat completely brought to my knees with the open-hearted surgery that is grief.

Back then, Danielle’s web-site was called White Hot Truth, something I needed at a time when each day had the consistency of mud I tried to swim through. “Yes, I’ll have some of that ‘White Hot Truth’ please“. I read and followed, a gentle disciple of the heart, as Danielle spoke to me of hope and self-compassion.

I’ve since followed her work and when I saw that White Hot Truth was coming back in another form as a book, I signed up to read ahead, review and be part of the ‘White Hot Truth’ launch team. I knew from experience this would be something very special, a honed diamond sparkling its message for me and others to catch.

The light in White Hot Truth

White Hot Truth is this diamond, each chapter a facet of light, grounded in a memoir-kind of reflection, distilling experience that heads straight for the heart. I alternated between reading on-screen and listening to Danielle’s voice via the audiobook. This made the reading process all the richer as I shifted between my voice engaging directly with the words, and Danielle’s voice reading her own.

The book traverses so many realms – it’s deep and wide but its terrain is clear and sweeps away any barriers to understanding in its path. The essence of the book is to become aware of the lies or unhelpful blocks that may have found their way into our trusting hearts including the “really big lies” of inadequacy, authority and affiliation. And to recognise that we are able to take in so much influence and so many ideas and still be the authority on ourselves, the one to make the decisions with wisdom, the one to set boundaries with an open heart.

Some quotes from White Hot Truth

Danielle draws from wide sources to find the most perfect quotes to place strategically. And then sprinkled through like stars sending their energy through the text, there are Danielle’s own quotable quotes and truthbombs.

A few of my favourites of so many I have highlighted:

On flow: “It was too much flow and not enough restraint. I was a river in need of some riverbanks.”

On forgiveness: “The heart runs on its own clock, untethered from calendar days or years.”

On self-help: “The best self-help is self-compassion.”

On approval: “Working for approval takes up a lot of energy, and it can be a huge distraction from seeing the gifts that you already hold in your hands.”

Wisdom, paradox and authenticity in White Hot Truth

A key piece of wisdom threaded through-out is that of paradox. White Hot Truth shows how with clarity, you can take both perspectives and find a path. For example, you can lead with your heart and your head. You don’t have to choose. How many of us have shut down one side of the equation because we fear losing the other, when really it’s a false dichotomy. I know I have. This book opens up paradox as a kind of wisdom.

I read White Hot Truth concurrently with Marrow by Elizabeth Lesser. In Marrow, Elizabeth talks about ‘Authenticity Deficit Disorder’, how we tiptoe around those things we really want to say or be, those things that really matter as we go through our days. It seems that sometimes it takes a tragedy, serious illness or terrible grief to make us go there to the marrow. And even then we can manage to side step it.

In White Hot Truth, Danielle speaks directly, supporting us to honour our authenticity and love who and what we are. She encourages us to recognise where we may have inadvertently blunted our ability to cut through. She shows us how to speak up without fear, through being a voice and model for how to speak up.

Being real and who we are as influence

Mark Nepo in The Book of Awakening talks about the energy of being real, of ‘mana’, of the extraordinary power of being who we are to influence others:

In this way, without any intent to shape others, we simply have to be authentic, and a sense of ‘mana’, of spiritual light and warmth, will emanate from our souls, causing others to grow – not towards us, but towards the light that moves through us.

White Hot Truth made me smile with recognition and more than once, I held my heart as my eyes filled with tears as something broke through, probably self-compassion.

At times laugh-out-loud funny, other times shocking and sobering, it’s a ball of bright authentic light offered as a guide from one seeker to another to illuminate our path. I’m so grateful for its warm and passionate influence. Like ‘The Hierophant’ card in tarot, this book is a teacher and a reminder that:

….we are not alone; we can actually take someone else’s advice and methods and recast them to meet our own needs

Playing with Symbols, Monicka Clio Sakki

In fact White Hot Truth encourages us to do exactly that and for you to be the authority on you. I know it will shape and guide my own inspired path now and for years to come.

Review and Publication notes:

White Hot Truth will be published on 16 May 2017 and is available on pre-order. Because I am part of the White Hot Truth Launch Team, I got the advanced digital copy. You can get a chance to listen to the book before it’s in stores with the free audio book. Find out how here: daniellelaporte.com/whitehottruth/

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Influence, gratitude and choosing to shine – Danielle LaPorte

February 25, 2017

A combination of influences helps us shine and sing our unique song. It was a pleasure to meet one of my shining stars of influence, Danielle LaPorte.

Influence over time

I have been following Danielle for some time now. After my brother’s death in 2007, the world turned upside-down and I was searching for meaning in many places including online.

I came across Danielle LaPorte through her book, Style Statement co-authored with Carrie McCarthy. I worked through the book assiduously and explored Danielle’s online presence at her website then called White Hot Truth.

Through this work, I learned to better understand my key style drivers, my passions, what makes me tick, why I like what I like, why it’s important and how to cut through the restrictive perceptions that hold me back.

The entrepreneurship product The Firestarter Sessions appeared not long after, a guide for soulful guide to creating success that I dived into. What inspiration: white hot truth, passions, success on your own terms, entrepreneurship.

For the Sacred Creative type that I found myself to be from working through ‘Style Statement’, this was exciting, revolutionary and passionate material.

Advice I love:

Here is some of the advice from Danielle that I have loved over the years:

About Going with the flow:

Going with the flow isn’t about being passive or lazy. It’s not about just letting things happen “to you”. It’s not aimless wandering. It’s a co-creative act.

“The flow” is the ocean of cosmic intelligence. It’s the substance that carries the whole shebang. The flow is life energy itself.

Going with the flow is responding to cues from the universe.

When you go with the flow, you’re surfing Life force. It’s about wakeful trust and total collaboration with what’s showing up for you.

And from The suck factor of life balance, + passion as a cure to stress: one of my all-time favourite posts which questions the notion of work/life balance:

This is not a balanced life. But it works. And the more I pursue my passions, the more uncomplicated my life gets, actually. There’s not much in my life that I resent. And if resentment builds, I’m swift to get it off my plate. It’s not the imbalance-ness that stresses me, it’s doing meaningless things that aren’t taking me where I want to go.

Given passion is my word of the year – I need to be going back to this one and apply it. Perhaps stick the post on the wall or somewhere I can see it as a reminder! It’s all about the passion.

And this pure gem from Bag your Boundaries

You can protect yourself and be open-hearted.

Well yay to that! I so love that fresh, pure and direct thinking. I need to keep listening, going back to it and applying it like a salve.

The Desire Map and Core Desired Feelings

I’ve worked through the brilliance of The Desire Map and identified my Core Desired Feelings to help clarify my focus. It’s all about getting what you most want by defining how you want to feel as the roadmap.

I included my Core Desired Feelings in my Welcome to Quiet Writing as the summary of my passions and focus and how I want to feel:

And as I am writing this, I am realising more why passion is my word of the year. It underlies all of this and the clues as to how to get there: setting boundaries, being open, with working out how I want to feel as the guide. I need to be driven by passion not concepts of work life/balance and yes, I can both protect myself and be open-hearted. And not be afraid to be revolutionary in what I think and how I work.

Danielle comes to Sydney and I’m listening

So when I heard Danielle was coming to Sydney with the support of the Wake-Up Project, I signed up straight away for the opportunity to hear and see her live. Months went by and then the day came. Australian musician, Clare Bowditch, kicked off the night with her own brand of big-hearted music, creativity and fun with all of us soon singing and finding our collective voice.

Then Danielle stepped onto the stage to be her own kind of magic. That is what I love about her – she is her own person, unique, authentic, revolutionary and hard to define – and she encourages us to be the same.

The most amazing thing was how Danielle held the stage and the space with her presence and pure connection with the audience. After some initial thoughts, she encouraged us to give her a word, a thought and then would riff on that. It was like a musical experience, flowing, creative, focused and wise.

I was too busy listening and focusing to take lots of notes but here are some insights.

Key takeaways and riffing thoughts:

Setting boundaries vs barriers

Just as the quote above about openness and boundaries reminds us: it’s OK to set boundaries and they don’t need to be barriers. They are an act of self-compassion in a world where so much is being asked of our energy. To be there for others, we need to be looking after ourselves and setting clear boundaries is part of that. It’s saying things like: “This is OK, that is not OK.” “I’m making this space and time to do this writing/walking/xxxx.” “I’m not doing that/going there because it’s toxic/not working for me/is a waste of time.”

In setting boundaries, the mental fog goes away and we are rooted in self-love and self-compassion. And we can focus.

Memorable thought from the night:

Unbotherability is the fruit of the spirit.

Loving yourself may look unloving to others

Danielle talked about three key lies and from ‘Leaving the church of self-improvement‘ they are:

The Lie of Inadequacy: You were born not quite good enough.

The Lie of Authority: Outside authority validates your worth.

The Lie of Affiliation: Groupthink is good think.

Things we tell ourselves may run ourselves down. Things others tell us, the influences of church and state, may mean we act on what others may think, want or demand of us, if unspoken. Acting on our own truth and self-love may look unloving but it’s what we need to do for authenticity and to get our work done.

Self-compassion

Feel the pain and keep showing up. It’s about befriending pain and weakness, being kinder to ourselves and not letting that stop our work in the world. It’s being supportive of our own work and creativity and how it’s forming in us. Like thinking about what we say when we speak to ourselves looking in the mirror. And honouring the need to keep showing up – keeping blogging, writing that draft, working that intuition, connecting with others. And then showing up.

Having goals with soul and our Core Desired Feelings as an anchor

How we go about pursuing things really changes when we work from passion and what we really want.

Memorable thought from the night:

You can’t fight your way to peace.

Core Desired Feelings guide how we work as well as what we are aiming for, with the process and end result aligned.

Being present vs narcissism

Be present, generous with our time and listen. Have a beginner’s mind. Have a prodigal relationship with our own reality – get back to what really matters and counts.

Memorable thought from the night:

There’s an epidemic of women being boundaryless.

Narcissism is a disease of self-worth; being present and having a beginner’s mind is the opposite of narcissism.

Forgiveness

You can’t force forgiveness. It’s more about acknowledging the divine and the consciousness of the other person. That’s something I can work with. More thoughts on that here: What if forgiveness isn’t about forgiving.

Shining light

And then afterwards I got to meet Danielle. We smiled together. She signed my precious dog-eared, worked-through ‘Desire Map’ book. Feeling such a fan-girl, I said, “It’s such a pleasure to meet you!” She noted that my book was an old one and I had been around for a while.

That’s so true. There was so much more I wanted to say but being the introvert that I am, the words don’t always come straight away as I would like them, it’s usually later.

On Instagram afterwards, Danielle puts up an awesome post about people slipping her notes and cards after gigs that she reads them later, usually on a plane. That’s such a beautiful idea for an introvert like me who needs time to think and show gratitude in words, ideally by writing.

And she says:

And I cry. The notes from mothers telling me about their daughters reading my stuff (and how the mom had never heard of me before), those notes slay me. I’m really truly deeply grateful for the gratitude. ▪️ And, my perspective: someone making a change because of something I said/wrote…has microscopically little to do with me and epically everything to do with them. It’s all timing and choice. And courage. It’s all you, babe. All you.

So now, with a little more time, I say:

Thanks Danielle for the clarity, over and over, about myself and my soul goals. You’ve helped me work through them and keep in touch with them over a tough time when I struggled to know myself and my path. And you practically help me to focus each day with my core desired feelings especially now as I transition to a new business and life.

You’ve given me that strategy for passion that a Queen of Swords, INTJ type of girl needs. Though I think anyone really can work better from their passion and authenticity if they really understand it. And that’s become my passion now as I make a new start: working with others to understand their influence and voice their passion and authenticity in the world. And you are so right – it is all about timing, choice, courage, boundaries and self-compassion. This is the time. So thank you for your light to shine the way so I can choose to shine. Terri xx

And some final reflective takeaways

You can be an introvert + express feelings and gratitude.

Find ways to express it that work for you: being more prepared, thinking ahead, notes, cards, blog posts, personal messages.

I need to thank others more for their influence and light to shine my own.

Try and write shorter snappier blog posts – at least sometimes 🙂

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Seeing stars

February 3, 2013

Orion Nebula – by the Smithsonian Institute via flickr

These words are running around my head…

Look at the stars,

Look how they shine for you,

And all the things that you do.

Yes, they are from a song from a while ago, “Yellow” by Coldplay but it’s suddenly on high rotation in my head and I woke up to these words running through me in the middle of last night. They are beautiful, speak of possibility, potential, opportunity. They are sad and make me think of my brother and what I didn’t get to say to him when he couldn’t see the light shining any more. They are words of encouragement to continue to see the light and positives ahead.

These words sit by my desk…

Perhaps they are not the stars but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy

This is an Eskimo proverb apparently. Even before I came across this quote, it was how I liked to think of the stars. I found myself in my deepest moments of grief looking up into the stars with some sense of connection and comfort. It’s something I still do.

These stars shine for me…

I wrote about my seven stars a few years ago when I was just starting out here. These stars still shine for me. Weekly, daily, their words and projects influence and guide me. Here are some recent thoughts on their influence:

Shanna Germain wrote a brilliant post ‘Do the Words: On (Writing) Productivity‘ based on sitting and writing in a cafe while overhearing a conversation about all the barriers the speakers faced to writing. She tweeted:

People at next table spent 2 hrs kvetching about writer’s block. In that time, I wrote 827 words, edited 2 stories. Shut up. Do the words.

Shanna cuts through, does the words, gets on with it and through the resistance and is such a great example of writing productively. This is a message I will be remembering this year: stop talking (or blogging) about it and just get on with it!

Susannah Conway. What can I say, I am a huge fan and cannot capture just how influential Susannah has been to me. This recent post, ‘From the Heart‘ just floored me as Susannah reflected so openly on both the personal toll of her work effort and her sense of being alone; my heart and many others went out to her in return. This post demonstrated, in the deepest way, the sheer vulnerability and honesty that is ‘Blogging from the Heart’, why it is so valuable and how the online community of the heart can provide so much support to each other.

Danielle LaPorte’s ‘Desire Map‘ project and current posts continue to cut through to new thinking. Elsewhere, I was reading about email overload this morning and rules about managing this in the workplace in terms of redefining when people can/can’t email and should/shouldn’t read emails. Part of me is thinking, ‘good idea, we need to manage this better in my workplace‘ and another part of me is thinking, ‘well, what about personal choice and the customer, who might want an answer now?’ Shortly after, I read this post from Danielle, Bag your Boundaries. Wham! Love that fresh, pure, direct thinking.’ You can have both, Danielle says:

You can protect yourself and be open-hearted.

Cool! So I am now thinking about how I can do this in my workplace from a different perspective altogether.

And then there’s Chris Guillebeau who probably started all this; through him I linked up with Danielle and then through to Susannah. He has helped me make so many connections – people, thoughts, plans – and is still out there building empires, fostering world domination and writing posts that, like Danielle, make me look at things from a non-conformist standpoint. Take for example, ‘Changing the System’:

If you want something to change, therefore, show us an alternative. Show us a new way of life.

You are the role model. Not the politician, not the celebrity, not the evangelist. Don’t throw up your hands in resignation, and don’t look for another leader.

It’s all on you, in other words. No pressure.

Whew! No pressure indeed! But it’s so true. It’s easy to complain; it’s easy to give up or to look for someone else to lead but the solutions come from taking responsibility and working through to find another way. My work role as a leader is about making a difference. This is the exactly the way I need to lead: finding the alternatives and being the role model, helping us to work through them.

So, I am seeing stars all around me, a constellation of words, thoughts and song that gather and cluster to propel me to also shine.

What stars are you seeing? What’s making you shine?

creativity poetry transcending

Gems #9 Shining light on yourself

September 27, 2010

Some gems about shining a little light back on yourself…

Just at the same time as Chris Guillebeau is enjoying great popularity with the publication of his book, ‘The Art of Non-Conformity’ , he writes an excellent post shining the light back on his readers. That’s one of the reasons I love Chris and his work: expect the unexpected. I always get such a wonderful blast of fresh thinking and often the reverse of current trends; hence his specialty, ‘nonconformity’, I guess.

In his post, What’s your message? Why not share it? Chris starts by referring to the current trend in social media of talking about others more than yourself. Chris turns the spotlight squarely back:

..ultimately people will follow you because you are doing something interesting, not because you are good at passing on other people’s messages.

A point very well made with much relevance for blogging, tweeting and much of life really:

Be interesting. Be yourself. Do something worth talking about.

Chris then encourages readers to comment about their message. There is much to learn and enjoy in the responses as people focus back on their message and reflect it out again.

Danielle LaPorte’s post on ‘The initiated woman’ shone a light on a very deep place and I knew exactly what she was talking about. It starts with bleeding, vulnerability and giving of the quintessential:

she’s bled from poor decisions that sliced her esteem wide open; and from unguarded boundaries being obliterated; and she’s bled willingly because that’s what you do when people you love are anemic or have been hit by life — you give them your blood. Here, I have lots, it’s fresh and warm. I’ll make more.

And it moves from there to describe a place where the outcomes of experience become a wisdom and strength that can help others. Read it – it is the most beautiful piece of writing. It reminds me of the wonderfully understated words from the song ‘You’re a Heathen of Love’ by Marian Bradfield:

‘Cause experience in a woman never goes astray.

And because Chris says ‘tell us your message’ and ‘be yourself’ and because Danielle says:

She’s so tender she prefers to whisper about her true nature, or write a poem. Abstract. Protected.

…here’s a poem from me. It was written and crafted during my time in Sage Cohen’s highly recommended ‘Poetry for the People’ classes and was featured along with the work of my fellow students on Sage’s ‘Writing the Life Poetic’ blog.

Narrative

She starts up high, facing north

towards slow mist,

watching the sea wash

into the rain’s drift below.

She is called to the beach

as if to a baptism, bride-like,

white as the air, stepping

down the rough rock stairs.

She narrates her life,

writes as she walks,

as if the sand and shells are

the bones of her story.

And the pieces connect her:

an imperfect white oval shell,

a fig leaf from a canopy,

the sketched black lines

of a creature’s moving home.

Cool and tight limbed,

she ends in another place,

as if washed by waves,

her contours, clear and shell-lined

as the Borromean grottoes

of Isolabella,

her white shining lights

coming home.

Image, Inishowen Mirror by Janek Kloss from flickr and used under a Creative Commons license with thanks

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Gems #6 Encouragement, kindness and resilience

August 9, 2010

Some recent gems shining a whole lot of light…

If you haven’t read The Manifesto of Encouragement on Danielle LaPorte’s White Hot Truth, rush over for the best injection of inspiration and encouragement you will have felt for a long time. Danielle’s initial post is pure light and genius. Then hundreds of people have added their words from their precious angle. It’s a string of pearls you can wear around your heart to protect you and make you shine. It also opens you up to what you might be missing around you or what you might aspire to. I hope one day it becomes a book I can carry with me every day.

Recently, I wrote a post about twitter and my positive experiences connecting up with like-minded people and the kindness and reciprocity I had found. I had just finished writing and posting, to then find Jean Sarauer’s post on Virgin Blogger Notes on a related theme: How to grow your blog with kindness. Jean provides a personal story and some excellent examples of how kindess and adding value in blogging and twitter can enhance the experience and outcome for all. Jean encourages us to ‘practice shifting your focus from what you want to get to what you can give’. This post helps you appreciate how you can contribute and how ‘As the analytics of your heart show upticks in kindness, encouragement, and support, the analytics of your blog will also improve.’ The ‘Manifesto of Encouragement’ is a great example of this.

I only caught up this week with the July 11 ‘Creative Penn’ podcast interview by Joanna Penn: ‘Inspiration For Authors On Resilience, Accepting Criticism And Being An Introvert With Clare Edwards’. It was excellent – one of the best of Joanna’s interviews I’ve listened to – probably because it chimed in around some personal keywords: resilience, introversion and writing. I loved the way Joanna opened up in this interview about her own experiences as an introvert with doing interviews and developing a speaking career. I related so much, being at the far end of the introversion spectrum and interacting with people all day, every day, in my work role, often standing up and speaking to many people. I have learnt to manage this but this interview provided more insightful tools for balancing between the inner and outer worlds. There is also a strong focus also in the interview on tips for resilience and staying present in the moment.

Three overwhelmingly positive gems to take us all forward with encouragement, kindness and resilience!

Image, Mother of Pearl by Westcoastrobin from flickr and used under a Creative Commons license with thanks

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