life-coaching Archives

Coaching goals and the value of being a healthy creative

March 22, 2018

Coaching goals can be many and varied with surprising connections. Learning the value of being a healthy creative has taught me about resilience and strength.

Coaching goals and connections

Working in a coaching series with coach buddy, Jeanette Buchanan, as part of my Beautiful You Coaching Academy program this time last year, I found myself setting a key goal around being healthy. My goal was to ‘feel stronger and sexier’. I was keen to tap into and learn from Jeanette’s love of exercise and passion for physical fitness.

At that time, I wasn’t moving a lot. I was just getting back into walking, knowing I needed to be exercising more and building my strength. Coaching became a search for the right type of exercise as a form of self-care and personal resilience.

I was going through some tough times in my transition journey. With plans in place to leave a long-term job role, my life changed completely as I supported my mother who was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer.

I was as surprised as anyone that the coaching goals I focused on were about exercise and building strength. As a creative and writer, it’s easy to think only in terms of those aspects of life – creativity and getting ideas and words down. But to be our best creative selves, we need to be strong and healthy in body and in mind. Going through the journey of being a carer with my mother taught me so much about the value of self-care as we care for others.

Through my coaching experience, I realized the value of coaching goals about movement, strength and health as central to my well-being and life as a creative and supporter of others. When these areas of our lives are in a stronger place, we are more wholehearted and better prepared for managing whatever comes our way.

Swimming and exercise goals

In my work in my life coaching series with Jeanette, I opened up the door to exploring the exercise I loved as a child and young adult. Through free-writing, I revisited how much I loved swimming, also yoga, tai chi and dancing. But swimming shone through as something to get back to. I wrote:

Swimming is something I also enjoy though I haven’t done it for a while. I don’t like the chemicals and chlorine and pool side of it so this turns me off a bit. And I’ve never really seen the beach as a place to do laps as such. But that can change. I realise the benefits of swimming and it could be good for my back and body at this time.

Just opening up that door seemed to work wonders as it often does with coaching and listening to our inner wisdom.

One day just after I wrote this, exactly a year ago now, I was out walking along the beach in my village and bumped into a friend who had just been swimming in the bay. He told me about a group of local swimmers who swam Monday, Wednesday and Saturday mornings in the sea where I live. I didn’t know about this group and it sounded exciting. My friend took me to coffee with the swimming group that morning and introduced me, telling them all I was joining the group. And I embraced it all wholeheartedly.

Finding the best exercise for us

I’ve written here about 10 amazing life lessons from swimming in the sea and what it has taught me. Swimming is the perfect exercise for me. Writing about my relationship with different forms of exercise as part of coaching helped me get back to something I have always loved. But I’d become disconnected from it and had to rediscover this love.

Here’s a picture of me when I was little in my swimmers in what I now recognize as my natural environment – swimming in rivers and the sea.

I had forgotten how much I loved swimming as a child. Forgotten too that I even used to teach young kids to swim to share my love. I’ve also lived beside mountain rivers and relished the peace and calm from swimming there.

And here’s a picture of me as I donned my first ever wetsuit at the age of 55 and kept swimming through winter last year, rekindling this love and feeling stronger all the time.

Being in movement and keeping healthy through swimming has become a critical mainstay in being a healthy creative. Finding the right exercise that I love has been paramount. As Stephanie Stokes Oliver says in ‘Seven Soulful Secrets’:

The key to staying motivated is to find an activity that you enjoy doing.

This is so true in my experience. Swimming to me is no longer a chore or challenge. I’m really disappointed when, for some reason, I can’t go. I love it so much and the feeling when I dive in and start swimming among fish, breathing deeply in and out is the most calming and meditative of spaces. It helps me feel I can manage so much.

Celebrating exercise milestones

I celebrated 12 months of swimming in the sea with a ferry jump swim yesterday. This meant catching the local ferry out to the middle of the bay in our swimmers, flippers, swim mask and snorkel. All quite hilarious – then jumping off the ferry into the bay and swimming back. The weather and water were both wild and it was a tough one kilometre plus swim in a strong swell pushing against us.

But it was exhilarating. I felt so alive as I pushed my boundaries and could feel my resilience, strength, courage and calm from 12 months of swimming. I am so much stronger, fitter and hell, maybe even sexier? It’s certainly helped me to weather so much with courage and adaptability. It was great to celebrate this exercise and resilience milestone in a way that embodied what it taught me.

Being a healthy creative – what it has taught me

Being stronger in this way has taught me so much about the value of being a healthy creative. If we are going to write books, run entrepreneurial businesses and launch creative programs to support others, we need to be strong in body and mind.

Swimming in the sea has taught me to be in the moment. Each day I swim is different – the weather, the water, the fish and the currents. The beach is different each day and so am I, in terms of what is happening to me and how I am feeling. Through breathing and moving through whatever circumstances I face in the water, I have learnt the resilience of moving through each day with strength.

Over the past year, I’ve complemented swimming with walking, yoga, morning pages, journaling, coaching, intuitive work with tarot, blogging and writing longer length pieces such as my 36 Books free ebook. All these practices have helped me to be a healthy creative.

All of this has helped me to realise that being a healthy creative is about sustainability and fitness for the long haul. It’s no easy task to write a book, as I have found as I reached the 80,000-word mark in my ‘Wholehearted – self-leadership for women in transition’ book draft this week!

Being fitter and stronger, getting exercise, being in nature, breathing deeply and learning about managing different conditions have all been outcomes of swimming and exercise that have helped me reach my creativity and writing goals. They have been integral to helping me get those words down.

Coaching clients’ experiences

As I have worked with creative coaching clients, I have found that goals about exercise and being in movement often arise and support creativity goals. It’s been wonderful to support clients to find their own special kind of exercise and movement that supports their resilience and creativity.

It’s not always a straightforward journey as some of my clients have found. Perhaps it’s because, as writers and creatives, we are often introverts and book lovers. Our natural habitat often includes features like a desk, a computer, a notebook, a cafe (and coffee), artwork and plenty of books. We might relish the outdoors and nature. But it’s easy to get stuck, ironically by our own creativity, and not get out the door into any form of stretching ourselves through exercise.

Sylvia’s journey

I worked with the wonderfully creative and inspiring Sylvia Barnowski on her creativity goals and we found ourselves working on exercise. Sylvia sums it up this way:

After our initial meeting, I realized that it would be a good idea to use coaching to start working on something I would describe as a “lost cause”. I was struggling with this goal for the past few years and I actually started believing that I won’t be able to achieve much. So, I added a third goal – exercising. I knew if I could do even the smallest progress on this goal – it would be something really big for me. Adding this third goal felt like a big shift, raising the bar for myself and for Terri.

After weeks of defeat and trying various things, I finally found an exercise class that my body loved. It was challenging but it felt really good. That was a huge change, seeing myself going to the class every week and being excited about it.

You can read more about Sylvia’s journey of coaching with me here. I was so excited to support Sylvia through her own ‘learning to love exercise’ journey. Finding a way to move that felt right and supported other goals was pivotal. It was fabulous to see how this goal helped ignite and complement Sylvia’s personal and professional creative practice goals.

Sylvia Barnowski

The Healthy Writer

I recently read The Healthy Writer by Joanna Penn and Dr Euan Lawson and will post a full review here in the next few weeks. This book, co-written to reflect writing, personal and GP perspectives, traverses all aspects of writing and self-care including exercise, writing practices, back pain, RSI and mental health.

As my Goodreads review summarises:

Excellent read on writing and self-care by indie author and creative Joanna Penn and GP Dr Euan Lawson. I listened to it as an audiobook which was valuable and found it was like being prompted to review my writing practices and approaches by wise and gentle coaches. Plenty of practical advice on a range of health issues including back issues, RSI, mental health, fitness and practices for the creative long haul. Recommended reading/listening to sharpen your own health regime and writing practices to ensure you are fit for creativity and life generally for the long haul.

I look forward to a deeper dive on this book with you soon given the importance of these issues for our health and well-being as creatives.

How about you?

So here are some tips if you are thinking about your health as a creative and exploring some exercise, movement and wellbeing practices to support your writing and creative goals:

Write about the exercise you loved as a child and see what comes up.
Journal about what you are doing now to exercise and what would make your heart sing.
Reflect on the practices that support you as a creative and see where build movement in more.
Read ‘The Healthy Writer’ – available as an audiobook and a great read in this form.
Commit to doing some form of exercise in the next week, even if it is as simple as walking a few days a week for 20 minutes just to get moving. And build from there.
Find a class that attracts you – yoga, tai chi, exercise, pilates – and enjoy learning from others to get you going with your own practice.

And if you’d like to explore these areas as you choose to journey deeper into your wholehearted journey, I’d love to work with you. I’m currently open for free 30-45 minute consultations via Zoom or Skype to see where you might like to explore further in a coaching series with me. It can be a fabulous and life-changing step, so I encourage you to reach out if it’s calling you.

Here’s where I swim, enjoying the beautiful energy it brings to me. All best wishes to you as you explore possible coaching goals and the value of being a healthy creative.

Photo by David Kennedy Photography

Feature image via pexels.com

Keep in touch & free ebook on the ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You can work with me to help tap into that inner wisdom and magic guidance. Free 30-45 minute coaching consults chats are available in March + April for an April/May coaching start so please get in touch at terri@quietwriting.com to talk further. I’d love to be a guide alongside to help you conduct creativity and magic with spirit and heart in your own unique way.

You can download my free 94-page ebook on the 36 Books that Shaped my Story – just sign up with your email address in the box to the right or below. You will also receive updates from Quiet Writing and its passions. This includes personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot and other connections to help express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community.

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

You might also enjoy:

Creative practice in my tool-kit to make the most of this year’s energies

Seeking wisdom in water and elsewhere

Grief and pain can be our most important teachers

Your body of work – the greatest gift for transition to a bright new life

Joy – 18 inspiring quotes on enjoying what you do and love

inspiration & influence intuition

Strategy, patterns and the higher order of connections

March 19, 2018

We can’t learn to see if we can’t keep our eyes open. In just this way, staying open to the unexpected expands the openness of our heart.

Mark Nepo, The Exquisite Risk

A Quiet Writing deep-dive Tarot Narrative each Monday to share intuitive guidance, wisdom and insights from aligned books – for the week and anytime…

This week: the value of strategy, patterns + higher order connections

Theme for the week beginning 19 March

The theme for this week to guide our overall focus is from Lisa McLoughlin’s Life Design Cards – #19 Design from patterns to details.

This week is about strategy, patterns and seeing higher order connections. We can get so lost in detail especially when times are tough, not seeing the forest for all of the trees. There is a higher form of pattern and strategy there if we step back for a minute to see it. It might be new ideas, seeking solutions to problems, being more counterintuitive, putting the pieces together in a different way. Whichever, we are encouraged to see from the perspective of recurring patterns, images and signs, to notice synchronicity. We are reminded to see the geometry of our experiences: the spiralling as we revisit old habits to see anew or recognising the higher architecture of our experiences.

Advice from the Guidebook is:

Are you concentrating too much on the details whilst missing the bigger picture, or vice versa?…Aim to find unique solutions where possible.

There is guidance in there too about avoiding making assumptions or having preconceptions, remaining open and seeing links and connections in new ways.

So the guidance this week is around making space for new strategy and design in our thinking.

Tarot Narrative for the week beginning 19 March

Tarot Narrative:

Look for strategy, patterns, the higher order of connection now. See what you’re missing, the geometric shape that can hold the unfolding patterns, events and designs. Perceive what is real and what is fear. Work with the counterintuitive, have courage and be creative in finding solutions.

Reading notes:

Cards: Queen of Air (Swords) and Five of Fire (Wands) from The Good Tarot and #36 Come to the Edge in protection (reversed position) from Wisdom of the Oracle.

Book notes:

When we assume that we author everything we experience, we snuff the possibility of being touched by the more numinous dimensions of reality.

Mark Nepo, The Exquisite Risk (p116)

This reading reminds us of the higher order of the strategy of the spirit and opening ourselves to answers beyond the obvious. As Mark Nepo reminds us in ‘The Exquisite Risk’, our ego can have a strong role to play in how we see circumstances; sometimes this means we miss other things like signs, patterns, signals, connections and counterintuitive ways of looking at the situation.

Recent experiences have encouraged me to open up to energy connections and ways of working on more spiritual planes. We can get so preoccupied with the here and now, we forget to breathe deeply, seek answers from our higher guidance and work with energy healing that can help us on another level.

Strategy can sound like a cold word but as an INTJ Jung/Myers-Briggs personality type, it’s second nature to me to see higher patterns. Or at least to attempt to. Like everyone, I can get bogged down in detail and confounded; or conversely, so high in the sky, I miss the real connections.

The Queen of Air (Swords), who links with the INTJ/Mastermind personality type, reminds us to wield our swordy clarity in a real way. As The Good Tarot Guidebook prompts us, this might include: setting healthy boundaries, seeing the underpinning whole, having a clear purpose, and being more honest with ourselves about what is happening.

The Five of Fire (Wands) suggests that freedom to explore ideas and be open is a powerful way to move at this time. Just as Mark Nepo reminds us, it’s not just a mind thing either, it involves openness of heart:

We can’t learn to see if we can’t keep our eyes open. In just this way, staying open to the unexpected expands the openness of our heart.

Mark Nepo, The Exquisite Risk

The gifts of strategy

I’ve worked in strategy in many areas of my life including leadership of strategic policy in government. The gifts of strategy are many and they include:

stepping back to see connections
seeing the whole
allowing the framework to emerge
letting go of false assumptions and unreal fears
searching beyond easy solutions
putting steps into place to reach higher order solutions
being clear in purpose
seeing patterns and connections
looking for ‘out of the box’ answers, unfamiliar or counterintuitive options
doing the research to know the facts
brain-storming to open up the possibilities

Applying strategic skills to our lives and looking for patterns and solutions in more holistic ways is encouraged now. This might involve creative work: collage, poetry, brainstorming, mind-mapping, Sacred geometry might be a way of doing this, as Lynn Hanford-Day has found: mandalas, recurring patterns and seeing the whole in a creative and spiritual way.

Sometimes we have to step away and do things differently to see the patterns, connections and emerging solutions. I know working with visual imagery can help me. I am a person who works with words a lot, so working another way such as through visual collage can help me to break through to new ways of seeing things.

The above is a visual collage in my journal as part of the Softly Wild ecourse by Victoria Smith. This is a kind of paper altar at the start of the journal, a snapshot in time of what I was trying to make sense of then. Once I saw it all together, I understood the message perfectly. But I would have had trouble coming at it in more logical ways. Just taking a few hours with some magazines, a glue stick, a pair of scissors and an open blank page can be the way to work out the critical strategy for the next steps. It’s a way of accessing the unconscious directly, just as tarot is.

We are encouraged to do work counterintuitively now, so lean into what is not so natural for you to open up new possibilities. If you always work with visuals, try writing. Conversely, if you are a word person, take photographs, colour in or make a visual collage to free up different senses and cognitive functions. If you are a logical step by step person, try mind-mapping. Perhaps breaking things up into steps would be helpful if you can get stuck in the big picture and not take action.

What we are attracting and noticing

The law of attraction also has a place in all of this as we work with more spiritual and intuitive dimensions of energy. Thinking about questions like these can help:

What are we fearing and how much energy are we putting into that?
Are we envisioning the positive of what we desire rather than the negative of what we don’t want?
What is leading your thinking – fear or positive desires?
Are we taking time to notice signs, symbols and synchronicity or have we dulled our intuition?
How are we flexing our intuitive skills in the everyday to find higher wisdom?

We are encouraged to open our eyes to the higher order of connections and symbols and to their magic now. As Carl Jung reminds us:

Life is a luminous pause between two mysteries that are yet one.

Strategy work in action

It’s important to remember what practices help you in your own strategy work and making connections at this time. What helps you in making sense of things? Which activities open up options and solutions?

Here are some ideas and options for tapping into your strategic side:

mind-mapping
brainstorming
making lists
colouring in
drawing and painting
taking photographs
making collages
journalling
poetry
gathering facts
envisioning
creating mandalas
researching ideas

Write your own list of activities for developing strategy, identifying patterns and making connections this week.

This is a great week for uncovering more strategic and connected approaches to life!

Love to hear your thoughts!

I’d love to hear if you are feeling these energies around the need for strategy, seeing patterns and deeper connections.

All best wishes for this week of making new connections, being open, seeing patterns and using all this to progress in our creativity and in life challenges.

May the Queen of Air guide you to clarity and openness in matters of ideas and of the heart. And let me know what you think of this post and this weekly Tarot Narrative!

Keep in touch & free ebook on the ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You can work with me to help tap into that inner wisdom and magic guidance. Free 30-45 minute coaching consults chats are available in March + April for a May coaching start so please get in touch at terri@quietwriting.com to talk further. I’d love to be a guide alongside to help you conduct creativity and magic with spirit and heart in your own unique way.

You can download my free 95-page ebook on the 36 Books that Shaped my Story – just sign up with your email address in the box to the right or below. You will also receive updates from Quiet Writing and its passions. This includes personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot and other connections to help express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community.

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

You might also enjoy:

Seeking wisdom in water and elsewhere

Grief and pain can be our most important teachers

Alchemy and conducting magic with spirit and heart

Exploring magic as the heart of creative inspiration

Your body of work – the greatest gift for transition to a bright new life

Joy – 18 inspiring quotes on enjoying what you do and love

inspiration & influence intuition

Seeking wisdom in water and elsewhere

March 12, 2018

It seems that we humans have always been drawn to find ourselves in the life about us.

Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

A Quiet Writing deep-dive Tarot Narrative each Monday to share intuitive guidance, wisdom and insights from aligned books – for the week and anytime…

This week: seeking inner wisdom + messages of water

Theme for the week beginning 12 March

The theme for this week to guide our overall focus is from Lisa McLoughlin’s Life Design Cards – #34 Seek your inner wisdom.

I always draw the theme card first to set the key message for the week. At its core, this week is about connecting with our inner wisdom in a variety of ways. This is especially the case when life gets challenging. It’s so easy to get rattled, to link ourselves to other’s emotions and to lose ourselves. We are reminded to seek the stillness of inner wisdom through the elements and especially water this week.

Advice from the Guidebook is:

Go within to communicate with the warmth of your true wisdom. Ask your wise-self what s(he) wants to know. Listen for an answer.

There might be much to work through but a place to start is always seeking the inner wisdom and stillness of our own mind and heart. Whether it be swimming, walking, working with tarot, writing – all favourites of mine – or something of value to you, keep doing it. Again, it’s easy when life gets swirly to let these calming practices slide. In them is a place to find inner wisdom if only we listen, through the rhythm of our footsteps, the flow of words or the anchor of our breathing as we move through water.

So the guidance this week is around making space for our wise inner self to be heard.

Tarot Narrative for the week beginning 12 March

Tarot Narrative:

Go deep within for wisdom now. There’s much to sort: the gifts of challenging relationships, the love required to reach out, the final stages of work you’ve been progressing for some time, now coming to light. Listening for answers in the spaces, seeing the brightest piece, focusing on completion, even if it’s a struggle, are all ways to move ahead now.

Reading notes

Cards: Messenger of Water (Page of Cups) and Nine of Earth (Pentacles) from The Good Tarot and #41 Soul Mates in protection (reversed position) from Wisdom of the Oracle.

Book notes:

And so, the art of freedom becomes the necessary adventure of grasping the secrets that are everywhere in the open and stirring their aspects within us, in such a way that we come alive: learning from the fish how to surface and dive, from the flower how to open and accept, from the stone how to crack and let light in, and from the birds that wings are more useful at times than brains.

Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening – for 12 March (p. 86)

This reading reminds us of the power of seeking wisdom in water and the other elements as a way of accessing answers. The Messenger of Water (Page of Cups), via the affirmative and positive ‘The Good Tarot’ deck, speaks of the power of “seeing the best in others.” I love the imagery of the Messenger focusing on the seahorse, exemplifying looking for the rare, mystical and beautiful in our encounters.

This morning I swam with many fish again and found a sense of peace. When I intuitively reached out for Mark Nepo’s ‘The Book of Awakening’ message for today for this narrative, it is all about finding ourselves reflected in the life about us. There is a meditation or visualisation for each day’s reading in this book. Today’s, for March 12, is about revisiting a special place and reconnecting with one aspect of why you keep going back there:

It might be the wind through the grass, or the sound of the water, or the light through coloured leaves.

I visualised and connected with where I swim and that first feeling of pushing out and stroking into a small reef where fish swim. It is the most liberating and calming feeling. I return there again and again for peace and stillness, finding myself and answers as I move through the water.

The gifts of challenge

The Nine of Earth from ‘The Good Tarot’ deck reminds us of the value of pursuing excellence and of self-control and focus. We are almost there, and whatever else is happening, there is an underlying sense of progress despite obstacles now. There is freedom in this and part of seeking wisdom this week is realising how far we have come. Knowing what to do to focus and finish the work we have planned is of value.

My own transition journey has four key features: life coaching, writing, tarot and personality type work. And this is what I seek to meld to offer to others.

I’ve been working on each of these areas for many years but in a focused way for the past 18 months. It’s time now to bring this vision and unique set of connections home into practices and offerings to support others. I’m ready to roll this out and am weaving the blend of skills, knowledge and experience only I can bring forth.

It is the same for each of us. We all have our magic brand of wisdom and talent, our passions and personality, our values and desires.

The Good Tarot ‘Nine of Earth’ reminds us:

I am diligent and disciplined, focused on completing the work I began long ago. I stick to my program, trusting that the plan is unfolding before me exactly as Spirit intended.

Seeking wisdom in water and elsewhere

These times are not without challenge and the energies lately seem so sensitive and highly strung. So as you work on your plan to bring goals to fruition, you may be facing challenges.

Seeking wisdom in the challenges is also encouraged. The Wisdom of the Oracle ‘Soul Mates’ card asks:

What is the gift in this?

We are encouraged to look in the mirror rather than blame others. There are old stories to be healed and seeking wisdom as we negotiate stormy seas is a way to a calmer passage. Wherever you are feeling relationships bringing you down, there is richness in there to be gained if we can dive deeper.

Seeking wisdom in the calmness of water and elsewhere may help to bring these lessons and answers to the surface if we can quiet our minds and listen.

Self-leadership in seeking wisdom

It’s important to remember what practices help you in your own self-leadership at this time. What helps you in seeking wisdom? Which activities calm you and bring things gently to the surface without so much fanfare?

These are the activities to engage in this week.

For me, they are:

Morning Pages and other writing
Tarot and Oracle work including this Tarot Narrative
Blogging
Swimming
Reading
Walking in nature

And poetry. It was lovely to get back to poetry recently via a contribution to Sabrina Davis 25 Tips to Living Unapologetically. It’s wonderful to remember and revisit what makes your heart sing.

Write your own list of activities for being in the now and seeking your inner wisdom.

It’s time this week for seeking your own messengers of water, ways to connect with emotion and deeper meaning.

This is a great week for seeking wisdom in water and elsewhere, whatever helps you listen to your own inner voice in peace.

Love to hear your thoughts!

I’d love to hear if you are feeling these energies around seeking wisdom in water and elsewhere, especially what places and activities help you to be still and listen within.

Where are you feeling swirly and out of control?
How can you make time for the practices that calm you?
What special practices have you let go of and what is the impact of this?
How can you weave a little gentle wisdom seeking back into your life?
Which element is calling you – water, fire, earth or air?
How can you connect with the element you need or that sustains you?
What’s the magic seahorse in your life to focus your attention on?

All best wishes for this week of seeking inner wisdom especially if you are facing challenging times. See how you can work with the elements to connect you. I hope that you find wisdom and answers as you listen.

May the Messenger of Water guide you as you seek to finish those long planned for projects and heal those relationships that need it. And let me know what you think of this post and this weekly Tarot Narrative!

This image by Lauren at Sol + Co

Keep in touch & free ebook on the ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community.

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

You might also enjoy:

Grief and pain can be our most important teachers

Alchemy and conducting magic with spirit and heart

Exploring magic as the heart of creative inspiration

Your body of work – the greatest gift for transition to a bright new life

Joy – 18 inspiring quotes on enjoying what you do and love

love, loss & longing transition wholehearted stories

Grief and pain can be our most important teachers – a wholehearted story

March 1, 2018

This guest post from Kerstin Pilz is about how grief and pain can be our most important teachers on our journey to wholehearted living.

This is the seventh guest post in our Wholehearted Stories series on Quiet Writing. I invited readers to consider submitting a guest post on their wholehearted story. You can read more here – and I’m still keen for more contributors!

Quiet Writing celebrates self-leadership in wholehearted living and writing, career and creativity. This community of voices, with each of us telling our own story of what wholehearted living means, is a valuable and central part of this space. In this way, we can all feel connected on our various journeys and not feel so alone. Whilst there will always be unique differences, there are commonalities that we can all learn from and share to support each other.

I am honoured to have Kerstin Pilz as a ‘Wholehearted Stories’ contributor. My sincere thanks to Kerstin for sharing her story and photographs. Kerstin’s wholehearted story tells of how she moved from passion through to grief and loss and then to deep healing. It’s a story of learning ways to heal through silence, meditation, yoga, writing and living freely. Kerstin now employs her learning from her journey to help others through her work as a writer, yogini, meditation practitioner and online teacher. Read on to find out more!

Beginning the journey

My journey to a wholehearted life began exactly a decade ago with a tragic false start.

I’d sailed around the world aboard a converted cruise ship for four months, teaching intercultural communication to university students from all over the world.

Copies of Eat, Pray, Love circulated onboard. It was hot off the press and everybody but me seemed to be reading it. I’d recently found love and I was busy writing the next chapter of my own life.

Between port calls in Capetown and Barcelona, my Italian sweetheart and I got married off the coast of West Africa, 1 degree south of the equator.

I was living a fairytale. Even before our final disembarkation, I knew that I couldn’t go back to my old life.

I had a tenured, senior position as Head of Italian Studies at one of Sydney’s Universities. It came with good pay and annual trips abroad. Options to climb the career ladder beckoned.

But there was a side of me that was unexpressed. Ever since I was a little girl I’d wanted to be a writer. Leaving Germany at age 22 to explore the world, had muted my writing voice. But the passion had remained.

At 45 I had enough academic publications to prove to myself that I could really write in a foreign language. It was time to explore another, more creative part of myself.

Taking an adult gap year to follow my passion

Long service leave allowed me to take an ‘adult gap year’ to chase a new, wholehearted life. I had a year to work out if I could transition into blogging and freelance writing.

Months of careful planning went into preparing my sabbatical. I booked a Spanish course in Buenos Aires and stopovers in exotic locations. I did evening courses in freelance writing and photography. I fired off pitches for travel writing assignments and started my first blog.

When I handed the keys to the tenants who’d be living in our home for the next 12 months, I felt a pinch of foreboding. We’d planned the perfect year. What could possibly go wrong?

You can’t prepare for life’s worst-case scenario

On the day of our long-awaited departure, my husband felt a pea-sized lump behind his ear. We’d forgotten to plan for life’s worst-case scenario.

He knew straight away that we’d be going on a very different journey – one from which he was unlikely to return.

And just like that, my world imploded. One day I was about to step into the year of my creative transformation. The next day I walked into the nightmare of a progressive terminal illness – metastatic melanoma – and all that it entailed.

Photo credit: Susan Kelly, Natural Images

Without a home to return to, we were forced to live with his adult daughter. Instead of speaking Spanish in Buenos Aires, I became trapped in an Italian melodrama. It unfolded across two continents as an antagonistic family came together in pain and anger.

I’d wanted to write a new chapter for myself and here it was. Except I hadn’t written it. Trying to fit into this alien scenario and its shifting emotional alliances slowly eroded my own identity.

I was unable to read and I was unable to write the travel and lifestyle pieces I’d researched. My own story consumed all of me. I became paralysed by the fear of death and the prison of toxic family dynamics.

Being a full-time carer to my gradually diminishing husband, gave me a sense of purpose and joy, despite the exhaustion.

Eventually, we relocated to a beach-side home in Far North Queensland, but the Italian melodrama never went away.

It was as if a second cancer had spread. Emotions and estates were negotiated amid the tragic suicide of my husband’s son and the discovery of my husband’s infidelities.

Photo credit: Susan Kelly, Natural Images

The healing power of writing

I discovered the healing power of writing by accident. Living remotely, I didn’t have easy access to counselling. My journal became my on-call therapist.

Watching my life implode felt like watching a movie in slow motion. It had more plot twists than I could’ve ever come up with.

I wrote my story in mad, obsessive bursts. Naming my pain and anger felt liberating. Without noticing, I started to treat journaling like a creative writing assignment. The many hospital visits – flogging the old car for long distances across the wild remoteness of Far North Queensland during an epic wet season – became little vignettes. Creating word pictures was intuitive. Trying to capture the irony of my situation, finding beauty in pain, was a form of therapy.

Writing allowed me to become a detached witness as my story unfolded amid the ruins of Rome and the Sardinian coastline of my husband’s homeland.

In my journal the dramatic settings and the ongoing family feud wove into an epic tale. For several years I thought of it as a blueprint for a novel.

Following my intuition to find the trail to a wholehearted life

My second attempt at creating a self-directed life started somewhere in the pages of my journal.

When I accepted that death was inevitable, my writing showed me that this was a chance for deep transformation. If I was open to it.

I knew that to find myself again, I could not slip back into my old life. For two decades I’d taught Italian Studies at universities. Italian was the language I spoke at home after I’d left Germany. But the Italian part of my identity died with him.

I needed a new identity and a new professional direction, but I had no clue where to find it. My sabbatical year had been spent being a full-time carer. Resigning from a tenured position in mid-life was considered foolish. Everybody cautioned against it, but I followed my heart.

I was scared and at my emotional rock-bottom, when I stepped into the unknown.

Learning about the impermanence of everything

I’d planned to give myself a few months to grief quietly surrounded by my beautiful community in remote Far North Queensland. The remoteness made me feel safe. I would have time to consider the next steps. But life had another dramatic instalment in store for me.

Less than three weeks after the funeral I was asked by State Emergency to evacuate my beachfront home. The biggest cyclone in living memory hauled all night, blowing my beach-side haven to pieces. The next day an entire community was grieving. Overnight, my own grief became eclipsed by tales of lost homes and devastated gardens.

When the airport re-opened, I caught the first flight out. The devastated landscape was a mirror of my inner devastation. I needed to look at things that were whole, not broken. I needed to speak to people who weren’t grieving.

Meditation and yoga became fundamental tools of my healing

For many months I didn’t speak at all. I locked myself away in austere meditation retreats all over Asia. Meditation, like writing, became fundamental to my healing.

Sitting in stillness, listening deep inside, trained me to recognise the voice of my inner knowing. It took months for the noise in my head to subside. Vipassana meditation taught me to become a detached observer. Watching pain and physical discomfort rise and fall for 10 hours a day for many weeks, was healing.

Everything in life is impermanent. Nature’s fury had already hammered home this fundamental Buddhist lesson. But I needed to hear it again and again from my teachers.

Sitting in the presence of His Holiness for two weeks in Bodhgaya, I learned about the true nature of suffering. Pain is inevitable. My story wasn’t unique.

Yoga was another important anchor in my healing journey. My body became grounded through asanas. Living with death had made me tired and skinny. I didn’t sleep enough and I drank too much red wine. Yoga made my body stronger. Conscious breathing felt like reviving a dead tree. I was finally breathing oxygen back into myself.

Finding my writing voice through journaling

The landscape of my beach-side home has healed itself, as have I. After sadness has followed joy. I now know that deep pain can fade if we allow ourselves to heal.

A sealed plastic box with two dozen moleskines is still the first thing I’ll throw into the back of my car the moment a cyclone warning goes out. I am no longer defined by my pain, but I keep my journals safe because they are an important record of my transformation as a writer.

For the two years of my husband’s slow decline and during the years of my healing journey, I wrote compulsively. I told the same story over and over until I was finally free of it. It trained my writing muscle like nothing else could have.

I haven’t opened my diaries for some time, but I know they contain some of my best writing. It’s raw and straight from the core.

Finding joy after grief and pain

Ten years after my first attempt at a life-changing sabbatical, I feel happier than I ever have. Going through the fires of grief has transformed me at my very core.

The journey was long and lonely. Crashing head-first into my own vulnerability has taught me that we can rise strong after falling hard.

It took many years to find a new professional direction. I revived my old travel blog. I worked as a Volunteer for International Development in the Maldives. I reviewed luxury resorts as a travel writer. All of it was fun, but none of it satisfied my core.

For several years I exhausted myself, trying to prove that resigning from a flourishing career in mid-life hadn’t been foolish. I was surprised by how naked I felt without a career.

Giving myself permission to heal, was met with envy. It was considered a self-indulgent luxury. And yet, the inner work I did in the aftermath of those events, laid the foundations for what I do today.

When I finally allowed myself to be guided by the voice of my heart, not the expectations of an achievement-driven society, things started to fall into place.

A new partner walked into my life. A new domain name appeared in the pages of my journal. I finally saw a new way to combine my passions of writing, travelling and yoga with my professional skills. I identified an income stream that allows me to be location independent.

I taught myself basic graphic design, photography and how to build a website. I did a yoga teacher training course. I radically decluttered my house and listed it on Airbnb. Then I packed a small suitcase and headed to Vietnam to make my dwindling funds last a little longer.

Today I live for most of the year in a rented home in the beautiful World Heritage town of Hoi An in central Vietnam.

I’ve always loved teaching and I am finally teaching again. Sharing the tools that have helped me in my healing journey is deeply rewarding.

In Hoi An I lead a weekly writing group. With my partner, who is a professional musician, I teach yin yoga and sound bowl meditations. Once a month we combine it with journaling in our signature “Journey to Self” workshop. Through my website, Write Your Journey, I run online courses. My first writing retreat will be held in Hoi An, this September.

After years of stagnating, I gained momentum when I allowed the voice of my heart to write the next chapter of my life.

Living a wholehearted, self-directed life is the only way to live the nanosecond we have on this earth. But make no mistake, it’s not the easy option.

People tell me all the time how lucky I am. But luck had nothing to do with it. Hard work, the courage to follow my passion and being open to uncertainty is what allows me to live the way I do.

PS: I wrote this post lying on my daybed on a tropical summer’s day with this view in front of me.

Photos by Kerstin Pilz, except where noted and used with permission and thanks.

Key book companions along the way

While my own story unfolded into a story of grief, I found it very hard to read fiction. Instead I found solace in memoirs about grief, in the words of Buddhist masters and in Natalie Goldberg’s zen-inspired writing practice.

Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness

Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying

C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking

Helen Garner, The Spare Room

Claire Bidwell-Smith, The Rules of Inheritance

Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones, Freeing the Writer Within

About Kerstin Pilz

Kerstin Pilz Phd is a former academic, writer, photographer, yogini and meditation practitioner based in Hoi An, Vietnam, where she teaches a weekly writers group and holds workshops and multi-day retreats combining yoga, writing and mindfulness meditation. Through her website Write Your Journey she offers e-courses and downloadable guided soundbowl meditations. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Keep in touch + free ebook ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You might also enjoy my free 95-page ebook ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’ – all about wholehearted self-leadership, reading as creative influence and books to inspire your own journey.

Just pop your email address in the box to the right or below. You will receive the ebook straight away as well as updates and inspiring resources from Quiet Writing on personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot, productivity and ways to express your unique voice in the world.

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inspiration & influence intuition

Alchemy and conducting magic with spirit and heart

February 26, 2018

Our small lives, which so often can seem random, or meaningless, are actually an organic part of the cosmos.

Rachel Pollack, Tarot Wisdom

___________________________________

A Quiet Writing deep-dive Tarot Narrative each Monday to share intuitive guidance, wisdom and insights from aligned books – for the week and anytime…

This week: alchemy + conducting magic with spirit + heart

Theme for the week beginning 26 February

The theme for this week to guide our overall focus is from Lisa McLoughlin’s Life Design Cards – Journal ‘Dear Nature…’

I always draw the theme card first to set the key message for the week. At its core, this week is about connecting with ourselves through the alchemy and spirit of nature. When life gets a bit crazy, tuning into the magic of the sea, the bush and the sky is the perfect way to get answers. As I have moved through my transition journey, I’ve spent time sitting on the beach, journal in hand. It’s time to get back to this practice now and listen to the wisdom of nature, spirit and ourselves.

This is a great week for finding quiet space with a book and a pen and connecting with the cosmos. Advice from the Guidebook is:

Receive advice and guidance from the natural world.

We are encouraged to write a letter to Nature voicing concerns, asking for advice, to then walk and notice anything that comes to us. And then to allow Nature to respond by writing a second letter once home.

This is such a wise way to engage with nature and open ourselves to the alchemy of wholeness. Writing in nature is one of the simplest acts of connection. But how often do we do it? It’s so easy to get caught in our offices, our homes, our cafes and forget the magic that happens when we open ourselves to the natural world and its gifts.

Whether it’s finding shells that shape speak to us, stones that we can hold to ground ourselves, or feathers that seem like messages on our path, being open to these gifts can help us gain insight and meaning. The sheer act of opening up to a blank page in a quiet space in nature is a way of opening up to ourselves and seeing what the universe provides as an answer.

So the guidance this week is around the alchemy of being receptive to the elements and wisdom of the universe. We are actively encouraged to engage with this practical magic with book and pen in hand.

Tarot Narrative for the week beginning 26 February

Tarot Narrative:

You might be focusing on all that’s not perfect or right just now. Or maybe you’ve learnt through habit to think in terms of loss, feeling poor or less than. But you are standing like a magician posed between the earth and sky, conducting creativity like alchemy. Get out into nature and ground yourself like the conductor you are. As you manage change on many fronts, know that connecting yourself with joy and spirit through the elements – wind, water, earth, warmth – will yield solutions and magic as you co-create with forces beyond you.

Reading notes

Cards: Five of Earth (Pentacles) and The Magician from The Good Tarot and #12 A Change in the Wind in protection (reversed position) from Wisdom of the Oracle.

Book notes:

Our small lives, which so often seem random, or meaningless, are actually an organic part of the cosmos. This is one of the great teachings of the Tarot, and ultimately one of the reasons we do readings – not just to find out information, or to seek guidance or self-knowledge (all of which are important) but also to demonstrate to ourselves that the universe is not broken pieces. Things connect.

Rachel Pollack, Tarot Wisdom (p. 34)

This reading and narrative sends strong messages about connecting with the alchemy and wisdom of the universe. Rachel Pollack in ‘Tarot Wisdom’ emphasises that The Magician is a card that is auspicious especially for writers and other creatives “for it symbolizes creativity itself.” The Magician is the card that I have chosen to symbolize the alchemist creator spirit of Quiet Writing. So it was exciting to see it arrive today in this first week of beginning a new phase of my creative journey and business, free from my former work role and fully embracing my body of work in transition.

Today’s narrative reminds us that though we might find ourselves having a habit of focusing on what is not right or not done or over the next horizon, we just need to still ourselves in nature. Connecting the inner and outer especially through writing in nature are highlighted at this time.

Dealing with a habit of loss

The Five of Earth from the beautiful ‘The Good Tarot’ deck reminds us that reminds us that we can get preoccupied by “the illusion of lack”. It also mentions “overlooked treasures.” I have included the Rider-Waite version of the card too in the tarot flat lay so you can see the visuals there. It is all about difficulty, feeling in exile, out in the cold, or like we are seeing everything through a glass half empty lens.

My journey through transition and leaving the organisation I have worked in for 30 plus years has certainly had overtones of just this feeling. With my job deleted and becoming redundant, it’s been easy to feel like I’m out in the cold and focus on the negative. This can happen with any experience of change – change of location, relationship or job. All can have elements of feeling shunned, undervalued, less than or just plain nostalgic for how things used to be. With all of this melancholy, we can miss fully embracing the treasures unfolding under our nose.

The Good Tarot ‘Five of Earth’ reminds us through its beautiful imagery that the answer is to ground ourselves in the earth, in nature, connected to the magic of nature and the beauty of the world. As the Fountain Tarot puts it for this card:

From a place of quiet you can assess what is truly imprtant, learn from what the moment is teaching you, and determine what resources are actually at your disposal.

Just as last week’s narrative focused on blossoming, this week’s theme is about the alchemy of connecting with nature to work out our magic.

Alchemy + conducting magic

The Magician reminds us of the importance of partnership with spirit and gaining a broader perspective of our efforts. Just as the habit of thinking in terms of loss can cramp our vision, so can not opening ourselves to spirit. Again, the Rider-Waite imagery for this card is valuable in reminding us of how we can be a conduit for creative magic through being receptive and grounding ourselves.

This card shows us that we need to be reaching up to alchemy, to spirit and the power of the universe, to the magic of synchronicity. At the same time, we need to be grounding ourselves in nature and the elements, represented by the items on the table at the Magician’s disposal. The Magician is like an orchestra conductor as he stands between spirit and nature, connecting them. So too we can be conductors of magic as we open ourselves to spirit and inspiration, especially from natural sources.

Sallie Nichols in ‘Jung and Tarot’ talks about the Magician in terms of synchronicity and how we can open ourselves to increasing chances of meaningful coincidences at peak times:

It is our inner Magician, of course, who is responsible for these miraculous eruptions of the unitary world into our everyday world of space and time, cause and effect. (p62)

Alchemy + connecting things

The Magician’s art of alchemy is about connecting things, especially between the inner and outer. So we might be outside in the elements, gathering thoughts in our journal as we connect with nature and notice gifts in our surroundings. Or we might work with tarot and oracle cards for guidance and wisdom as a way of engaging with spirit and connecting with our inner wisdom. Synchronicity might be a visitor as we tune in for signs and symbols especially at times of change.

Alchemy and making connections to transform them positively is a key theme this week weaving through all of the cards. Sallie Nichols shares in ‘Jung and Tarot’ that:

Magic is sometimes called the science of hidden relationships.

She says Jung identified through research that “hopeful expectancy” is an ingredient in common in many magic, miracles and parapsychological events. We need to embrace the “archetype of the miracle” at this time instead of the stories of loss, lack or poverty we might have told ourselves.

It’s time this week to channel our inner magician, get our conducting wands of spirit and creativity out that just might be in the form of a pen and book. And seek natural environments that will open us up and renew us, rather than shut u down.

This is a great week for alchemy and conducting magic with spirit and heart.

Look to see where you might be working out of a perspective of loss, comparison or lack and see where you can conduct your own magic. Get out in nature and write. Don’t be afraid to use the tools that work for you, being unapologetic. Embrace what you love. You too could have a desk like mine 😉

Love to hear your thoughts!

I’d love to hear if you are feeling these energies around alchemy and conducting magic with spirit and heart, especially being in nature to help connect our inner and outer worlds now.

Where have you developed the habit of thinking in terms of loss or lack?
How are you making time for connecting with the magic of nature?
Where are you practising alchemy and where could you deepen your practice?
In which areas are you holding back because of fear or other’s opinions?
How can you conduct magic in your writing or other creative work?
What stops you feeling that sense of alchemy and magic?
How can you be more magical in your approaches to life?
Where can you be more receptive to synchronicity or meaningful signs?

All best wishes for this week of being out in nature and writing, conducting creativity with the aid of the cosmos and grounding ourselves with the wisdom of the earth. I hope that you find meaningful connections, alchemy and synchronicity arising as you create this time and space in your life.

May The Magician guide you in conducting creativity and connecting with spirit to guide your path especially if it’s a time of big change. And let me know what you think of this post and this weekly Tarot Narrative!

Keep in touch & free ebook on the ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You can work with me to help tap into that inner wisdom and magic guidance. Free 30-45 minute coaching consults chats are available in February and March for a May coaching start so please get in touch at terri@quietwriting.com to talk further. I’d love to be a guide alongside to help you conduct creativity and magic with spirit and heart in your own unique way.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community.

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

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transition work life

Your body of work: the greatest gift for transition to a bright new life

February 22, 2018

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

George Bernard Shaw

Leaving an organisation where I have worked for over 30 years, I reflect on this transition and the gift of learning from my body of work over time.

Leaving a long-term job role

Today marks an auspicious day when I leave an organisation where I have worked for over 30 years. It’s not without sadness. And it’s been a strange conclusion in many ways. I’ve been on leave for some time caring for my mother who recently passed away after a long battle with terminal cancer. So not being in the workplace as I leave, the usual farewells have not been part of the process. It’s as if I have disappeared off into the sunset on another journey.

This is in part very true. I realised about two years ago that I no longer enjoyed my job or working in the organisation. The organisation had changed and so had I. It was time to get back to my long-harboured creative loves and pursuits that lingered in the margins of my days. The books and creative inspiration I craved and hung onto as I made a long commute to work by car and train became key. This liminal time became a passage of transition as I sowed the seeds of my leaving into the stitches and seams of my days. I realised my heart was no longer in it as I applied for jobs I didn’t really want.

In truth, this leaving had been a long time coming and at this stage, I had already started to move on and transition to another life. The one I really wanted to be living. You may know that feeling – your heart has left the building, or relationship or place. And you walk in the door each day feeling so empty dragging yourself through the day until it’s time to leave. So you make a plan to leave for good to create a new life.

The greatest gift

My time in the organisation – a large government department focused on adult vocational education, TAFE NSW – was not without great joy and opportunity. The greatest gift of this transition has been to reflect on my body of work over time to plan a vision for a new life.

It’s so easy when we feel the sadness of moving on to devalue the past, all that we are and all that the organisation and its people have given us. The opportunities, the connections, the people, the learning, the vision, the strategy, the excitement – it can all get snowed over in a narrative of loss. There’s a tendency to risk losing the good and the valuable continuing threads with all of these feelings.

Pain is a player in this scenario too as we may feel undervalued. In my situation, I’ve been made ‘redundant’, my job ‘deleted’ in a restructure I am no longer a part of. The language itself is a challenge to deal with, not exactly creating the best of feelings. We can tie our self-image to this boatload of emotions and feel ourselves being towed behind it, awash with anger. In this, we can risk losing focus on the valuable gift of the resources of such timing.

But the greatest gift hidden in all of these experiences is what Pamela Slim calls our ‘body of work’ – the thread that ties our story together. This is the story we have been crafting and creating from our desires, our dreams, the opportunities, the interactions, the people we worked with, the projects envisaged, the products created and the services delivered. Therein lies the seeds of so much wisdom.

Your body of work

It took a painful experience for me to realise all of this and to start to move on. A chance gut-wrenching workplace experience one day was the catalyst that made me realise I could no longer stay. I had to make changes. The next day I reached out to my friend, Victoria Smith, a life-coach and inspiration, someone who’s been down this road before me, to help me track a new path.

I’d reached a low point and I knew I could no longer navigate this time by myself. My coaching series with Victoria became the blueprint for a new life. A conversation about Pamela Slim’s ‘Body of Work’ in that coaching series was a pivotal piece that helped to tie my transition journey together.

The trick with a wise transition is to reflect on the driving force and heart of your work over time. What really drives you? Across all the job roles you have done, what are the recurring passions? What makes you come alive? Which themes occur in various ways again and again?

Pamela Slim says that her motivation in writing the book was to:

find a set of “new” skills for the world of work in the twenty-first century that would provide options, flexibility and freedom to workers across every mode, in every industry.

Her work enables us to do just that by identifying these core elements:

defining your roots
naming your ingredients
choosing your work mode
creating and innovating
surfing the fear
collaborating
knowing your definition of success
sharing your story

My body of work in transition

As I’ve moved through this time of transition, I have worked through all these areas. You will see these themes woven through my blog posts, as I’ve shared my story along the way. I have realised that the key threads that tie my story together are:

making a difference (always a motivator for me, sharing skills and knowledge to help others);
teaching, coaching, mentoring, blogging (different forms of empowering others and sharing knowledge, skills and experience);
creativity (innovating, leading it, fostering it, writing);
leadership and self-leadership (leading others means leading yourself first);
being a reflective practitioner and knowing myself (a constant search for self-understanding, professional development and reflecting on experiences in work and other life roles);
writing (the authentic heart of it all, being a writer, becoming a teacher of writing and weaving it as a strategic and professional superpower in my life);
introversion and intuition as key strengths and gifts as an INTJ, the captains of my personality ship I needed to learn to work with; and,
in all of this, being wholehearted in how we live and work, not bringing parts of ourselves to the door of any workplace or relationship.

Bringing all this together in a new way into a new life and business is exciting but challenging work. It’s taken consistent work towards my vision sustained over time. And it is about hard work and not luck as Kerstin Pilz reminds us in this beautiful piece, ‘Why luck had nothing to do with my self-directed life.’

Making a path for my transition

So finding myself feeling half-hearted, experiencing a ‘loss of heart’ as Lynn Hanford-Day describes it, a kind of burnout, I shifted to a job-share arrangement 18 months ago to plan a new future. Coaching with Victoria helped me shape this new path and I knew the ingredients for the future, based on the key threads of my past and taking them forward.

I set my goals of:

becoming a Beautiful You Coaching Academy life coach (achieved July 2017)
becoming a certified Jung/Myers-Briggs personality type practitioner (achieved December 2016)
working with my Introverted Intuition preference as a key compass especially via tarot and oracle card tools (achieved via courses, personality work and ongoing practice in 2017)

Setting and achieving these goals has been the backbone of my transition journey, with key learning milestones stepping the way.

Core desired feelings as guides to transition

My core desired feelings are at the heart of everything I do. I want to feel and convey being:

creative, connected, flowing, intuitive, poetic.

Connection especially has been a theme now and finding new kinds of networks. Not being in a traditional workplace can mean a loss of connection. At a time of leaving the workplace, I’ve developed rich connections with a beautiful community of fellow life coaches. We support and inspire each other. I’ve also had the chance to develop deep connections with valued coaching clients who have honoured me through sharing their journey.

Via social media, especially Instagram, I have found the most amazing kindred creative souls. Through Quiet Writing, women have shared wholehearted stories of transition inspiring me and others as we reflect on and initiate change. The hallmarks are startlingly similar across the stories, though they play out in different ways. I am meeting more and more online friends in real life in the most incredible encounters where we share our stories. The personality type community is another tribe of people where I feel a strong connection and source of learning and growth. And I know I will reconnect in different ways over time with many special people from the workplace.

Creating your story

As we move through times of transition, we can create our story, as George Bernard Shaw reminds us. The special ingredients of our body of work, our drivers and passions, are the greatest gifts and teachers on the journey of change. Painful as it might be at times to feel redundant, rejected or no longer belonging to the team, it’s an opportunity to create ourselves anew.

This time can be an opportunity to interrogate what Steven Pressfield calls our ‘shadow careers’, where our lives are an imitation of the real thing we want. He suggests in ‘Turning Pro’:

If you’re dissatisfied with your current life, ask yourself what your current life is a metaphor for.

That metaphor will point you toward you true calling.

So now I move full steam into a new career focused on being a writer and a personality and life coach supporting women to create their wholehearted story at times of transition. I know the ingredients of my body of work. Writing, creativity, making a difference, coaching, teaching, reflecting, sharing knowledge, leadership, self-leadership, introversion and intuition are the threads taking my story forward in support of others.

Distilling all of this brings me to the focus of this transition and new phase of life:

choosing to journey deeper into your wholehearted story

This is the theme of my journey and body of work. And it is what I offer to you through my writing, this blog, my coaching and personality type work and my intuitive tarot work. My deepest threads weaving together into a new story to inspire yours.

Thank you for your support on this journey. May you find your true calling, bringing together all the elements of your body of work forward into a new life. I look forward to sharing my newly formed self-sustaining creative life with you in all its guises in support of your own.

If you’d like to find out how to work with me, you can find out more here. I’d love to work with you!

Image of me by Lauren of Sol + Co

Thank you

With gratitude and love to my family and all my key influences, special friends, life coaches, teachers, coaching clients and fellow travellers on the journey this past year or so, especially my dear friend Victoria Smith.

Thanks to TAFE NSW and all my colleagues for our time together. It is a time I treasure and one from which the deepest friendships and connections have come. I’ve been blessed with inspiring leaders and mentors who have taught me so much about leadership and self-leadership.

Much love too to my beautiful mum, Shirley, who supported my journey transition generously and with the greatest enthusiasm even as her journey was coming to a close. This truly is the greatest of gifts for which I am forever grateful, her body of work being the deepest love of family.

Keep in touch + free Reading Wisdom Guide + Wholehearted Library access

Just sign up with your email address in the box to the right or below. You will receive the free Reading Wisdom Guide for Creatives, Coaches and Writers as well as access to the Wholehearted Library. You will also receive monthly Beach Notes updates from Quiet Writing and its passions. This includes personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot and other connections to help express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community.

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

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How about you?

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We can’t learn to see if we can’t keep our eyes open. In just this way, staying open to the unexpected expands the openness of our heart.

Mark Nepo, The Exquisite Risk

Theme for the week beginning 19 March

Tarot Narrative for the week beginning 19 March

Book notes:

The gifts of strategy

What we are attracting and noticing

Strategy work in action

Love to hear your thoughts!

Keep in touch & free ebook on the ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

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It seems that we humans have always been drawn to find ourselves in the life about us.

Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

Theme for the week beginning 12 March

Tarot Narrative for the week beginning 12 March

Book notes:

The gifts of challenge

Seeking wisdom in water and elsewhere

Self-leadership in seeking wisdom

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Beginning the journey

Taking an adult gap year to follow my passion

You can’t prepare for life’s worst-case scenario

The healing power of writing

Following my intuition to find the trail to a wholehearted life

Learning about the impermanence of everything

Meditation and yoga became fundamental tools of my healing

Finding my writing voice through journaling

Finding joy after grief and pain

Key book companions along the way

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Our small lives, which so often can seem random, or meaningless, are actually an organic part of the cosmos.

Rachel Pollack, Tarot Wisdom

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Theme for the week beginning 26 February

Tarot Narrative for the week beginning 26 February

Book notes:

Dealing with a habit of loss

Alchemy + conducting magic

Alchemy + connecting things

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Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

George Bernard Shaw

Leaving a long-term job role

The greatest gift

Your body of work

My body of work in transition

Making a path for my transition

Core desired feelings as guides to transition

Creating your story

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