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Coaching goals and the value of being a healthy creative

March 22, 2018

Coaching goals can be many and varied with surprising connections. Learning the value of being a healthy creative has taught me about resilience and strength.

healthy creative

Coaching goals and connections

Working in a coaching series with coach buddy, Jeanette Buchanan, as part of my Beautiful You Coaching Academy program this time last year, I found myself setting a key goal around being healthy. My goal was to ‘feel stronger and sexier’. I was keen to tap into and learn from Jeanette’s love of exercise and passion for physical fitness.

At that time, I wasn’t moving a lot. I was just getting back into walking, knowing I needed to be exercising more and building my strength. Coaching became a search for the right type of exercise as a form of self-care and personal resilience.

I was going through some tough times in my transition journey. With plans in place to leave a long-term job role, my life changed completely as I supported my mother who was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer.

I was as surprised as anyone that the coaching goals I focused on were about exercise and building strength. As a creative and writer, it’s easy to think only in terms of those aspects of life – creativity and getting ideas and words down. But to be our best creative selves, we need to be strong and healthy in body and in mind. Going through the journey of being a carer with my mother taught me so much about the value of self-care as we care for others.

Through my coaching experience, I realized the value of coaching goals about movement, strength and health as central to my well-being and life as a creative and supporter of others. When these areas of our lives are in a stronger place, we are more wholehearted and better prepared for managing whatever comes our way.

Swimming and exercise goals 

In my work in my life coaching series with Jeanette, I opened up the door to exploring the exercise I loved as a child and young adult. Through free-writing, I revisited how much I loved swimming, also yoga, tai chi and dancing. But swimming shone through as something to get back to. I wrote:

Swimming is something I also enjoy though I haven’t done it for a while. I don’t like the chemicals and chlorine and pool side of it so this turns me off a bit. And I’ve never really seen the beach as a place to do laps as such. But that can change. I realise the benefits of swimming and it could be good for my back and body at this time.

Just opening up that door seemed to work wonders as it often does with coaching and listening to our inner wisdom.

One day just after I wrote this, exactly a year ago now, I was out walking along the beach in my village and bumped into a friend who had just been swimming in the bay. He told me about a group of local swimmers who swam Monday, Wednesday and Saturday mornings in the sea where I live. I didn’t know about this group and it sounded exciting. My friend took me to coffee with the swimming group that morning and introduced me, telling them all I was joining the group. And I embraced it all wholeheartedly.

Finding the best exercise for us

I’ve written here about 10 amazing life lessons from swimming in the sea and what it has taught me. Swimming is the perfect exercise for me. Writing about my relationship with different forms of exercise as part of coaching helped me get back to something I have always loved. But I’d become disconnected from it and had to rediscover this love.

Here’s a picture of me when I was little in my swimmers in what I now recognize as my natural environment – swimming in rivers and the sea.

healthy creative

I had forgotten how much I loved swimming as a child. Forgotten too that I even used to teach young kids to swim to share my love. I’ve also lived beside mountain rivers and relished the peace and calm from swimming there.

And here’s a picture of me as I donned my first ever wetsuit at the age of 55 and kept swimming through winter last year, rekindling this love and feeling stronger all the time.

healthy creative

Being in movement and keeping healthy through swimming has become a critical mainstay in being a healthy creative. Finding the right exercise that I love has been paramount. As Stephanie Stokes Oliver says in ‘Seven Soulful Secrets’:

The key to staying motivated is to find an activity that you enjoy doing.

This is so true in my experience. Swimming to me is no longer a chore or challenge. I’m really disappointed when, for some reason, I can’t go. I love it so much and the feeling when I dive in and start swimming among fish, breathing deeply in and out is the most calming and meditative of spaces. It helps me feel I can manage so much.

Celebrating exercise milestones

I celebrated 12 months of swimming in the sea with a ferry jump swim yesterday. This meant catching the local ferry out to the middle of the bay in our swimmers, flippers, swim mask and snorkel. All quite hilarious – then jumping off the ferry into the bay and swimming back. The weather and water were both wild and it was a tough one kilometre plus swim in a strong swell pushing against us.

But it was exhilarating. I felt so alive as I pushed my boundaries and could feel my resilience, strength, courage and calm from 12 months of swimming. I am so much stronger, fitter and hell, maybe even sexier? It’s certainly helped me to weather so much with courage and adaptability. It was great to celebrate this exercise and resilience milestone in a way that embodied what it taught me.

Being a healthy creative – what it has taught me

Being stronger in this way has taught me so much about the value of being a healthy creative. If we are going to write books, run entrepreneurial businesses and launch creative programs to support others, we need to be strong in body and mind.

Swimming in the sea has taught me to be in the moment. Each day I swim is different – the weather, the water, the fish and the currents. The beach is different each day and so am I, in terms of what is happening to me and how I am feeling. Through breathing and moving through whatever circumstances I face in the water, I have learnt the resilience of moving through each day with strength.

Over the past year, I’ve complemented swimming with walking, yoga, morning pages, journaling, coaching, intuitive work with tarot, blogging and writing longer length pieces such as my 36 Books free ebook. All these practices have helped me to be a healthy creative.

All of this has helped me to realise that being a healthy creative is about sustainability and fitness for the long haul. It’s no easy task to write a book, as I have found as I reached the 80,000-word mark in my ‘Wholehearted – self-leadership for women in transition’ book draft this week!

Being fitter and stronger, getting exercise, being in nature, breathing deeply and learning about managing different conditions have all been outcomes of swimming and exercise that have helped me reach my creativity and writing goals. They have been integral to helping me get those words down.

healthy creative

Coaching clients’ experiences

As I have worked with creative coaching clients, I have found that goals about exercise and being in movement often arise and support creativity goals. It’s been wonderful to support clients to find their own special kind of exercise and movement that supports their resilience and creativity.

It’s not always a straightforward journey as some of my clients have found. Perhaps it’s because, as writers and creatives, we are often introverts and book lovers. Our natural habitat often includes features like a desk, a computer, a notebook, a cafe (and coffee), artwork and plenty of books. We might relish the outdoors and nature. But it’s easy to get stuck, ironically by our own creativity, and not get out the door into any form of stretching ourselves through exercise.

Sylvia’s journey

I worked with the wonderfully creative and inspiring Sylvia Barnowski on her creativity goals and we found ourselves working on exercise. Sylvia sums it up this way:

After our initial meeting, I realized that it would be a good idea to use coaching to start working on something I would describe as a “lost cause”. I was struggling with this goal for the past few years and I actually started believing that I won’t be able to achieve much. So, I added a third goal – exercising. I knew if I could do even the smallest progress on this goal – it would be something really big for me. Adding this third goal felt like a big shift, raising the bar for myself and for Terri.

After weeks of defeat and trying various things, I finally found an exercise class that my body loved. It was challenging but it felt really good. That was a huge change, seeing myself going to the class every week and being excited about it.

You can read more about Sylvia’s journey of coaching with me here. I was so excited to support Sylvia through her own ‘learning to love exercise’ journey. Finding a way to move that felt right and supported other goals was pivotal. It was fabulous to see how this goal helped ignite and complement Sylvia’s personal and professional creative practice goals.

praise Sylvia Barnowski

The Healthy Writer

I recently read The Healthy Writer by Joanna Penn and Dr Euan Lawson and will post a full review here in the next few weeks. This book, co-written to reflect writing, personal and GP perspectives, traverses all aspects of writing and self-care including exercise, writing practices, back pain, RSI and mental health.

As my Goodreads review summarises:

Excellent read on writing and self-care by indie author and creative Joanna Penn and GP Dr Euan Lawson. I listened to it as an audiobook which was valuable and found it was like being prompted to review my writing practices and approaches by wise and gentle coaches. Plenty of practical advice on a range of health issues including back issues, RSI, mental health, fitness and practices for the creative long haul. Recommended reading/listening to sharpen your own health regime and writing practices to ensure you are fit for creativity and life generally for the long haul.

I look forward to a deeper dive on this book with you soon given the importance of these issues for our health and well-being as creatives.

How about you?

So here are some tips if you are thinking about your health as a creative and exploring some exercise, movement and wellbeing practices to support your writing and creative goals:

  1. Write about the exercise you loved as a child and see what comes up.
  2. Journal about what you are doing now to exercise and what would make your heart sing.
  3. Reflect on the practices that support you as a creative and see where build movement in more.
  4. Read ‘The Healthy Writer’ – available as an audiobook and a great read in this form.
  5. Commit to doing some form of exercise in the next week, even if it is as simple as walking a few days a week for 20 minutes just to get moving. And build from there.
  6. Find a class that attracts you – yoga, tai chi, exercise, pilates – and enjoy learning from others to get you going with your own practice.

And if you’d like to explore these areas as you choose to journey deeper into your wholehearted journey, I’d love to work with you. I’m currently open for free 30-45 minute consultations via Zoom or Skype to see where you might like to explore further in a coaching series with me. It can be a fabulous and life-changing step, so I encourage you to reach out if it’s calling you.

Here’s where I swim, enjoying the beautiful energy it brings to me. All best wishes to you as you explore possible coaching goals and the value of being a healthy creative.

healthy creative

Photo by David Kennedy Photography

Feature image via pexels.com

Keep in touch & free ebook on the ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You can work with me to help tap into that inner wisdom and magic guidance. Free 30-45 minute coaching consults chats are available in March + April for an April/May coaching start so please get in touch at terri@quietwriting.com to talk further. I’d love to be a guide alongside to help you conduct creativity and magic with spirit and heart in your own unique way.

You can download my free 94-page ebook on the 36 Books that Shaped my Story – just sign up with your email address in the box to the right or below.  You will also receive updates from Quiet Writing and its passions. This includes personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot and other connections to help express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community.

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

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Seeking wisdom in water and elsewhere

March 12, 2018

It seems that we humans have always been drawn to find ourselves in the life about us.

Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

 

A Quiet Writing deep-dive Tarot Narrative each Monday to share intuitive guidance, wisdom and insights from aligned books – for the week and anytime…

This week: seeking inner wisdom + messages of water

seeking wisdom

Theme for the week beginning 12 March

The theme for this week to guide our overall focus is from Lisa McLoughlin’s Life Design Cards – #34 Seek your inner wisdom.

seek wisdom

I always draw the theme card first to set the key message for the week. At its core, this week is about connecting with our inner wisdom in a variety of ways. This is especially the case when life gets challenging. It’s so easy to get rattled, to link ourselves to other’s emotions and to lose ourselves. We are reminded to seek the stillness of inner wisdom through the elements and especially water this week.

Advice from the Guidebook is:

Go within to communicate with the warmth of your true wisdom. Ask your wise-self what s(he) wants to know. Listen for an answer.

There might be much to work through but a place to start is always seeking the inner wisdom and stillness of our own mind and heart. Whether it be swimming, walking, working with tarot, writing – all favourites of mine – or something of value to you, keep doing it. Again, it’s easy when life gets swirly to let these calming practices slide. In them is a place to find inner wisdom if only we listen, through the rhythm of our footsteps, the flow of words or the anchor of our breathing as we move through water.

So the guidance this week is around making space for our wise inner self to be heard.

Tarot Narrative for the week beginning 12 March

seeking wisdom

Tarot Narrative: 

Go deep within for wisdom now. There’s much to sort: the gifts of challenging relationships, the love required to reach out, the final stages of work you’ve been progressing for some time, now coming to light. Listening for answers in the spaces, seeing the brightest piece, focusing on completion, even if it’s a struggle, are all ways to move ahead now.

Reading notes

Cards: Messenger of Water (Page of Cups) and Nine of Earth (Pentacles) from The Good Tarot and #41 Soul Mates in protection (reversed position) from Wisdom of the Oracle.

Book notes:

And so, the art of freedom becomes the necessary adventure of grasping the secrets that are everywhere in the open and stirring their aspects within us, in such a way that we come alive: learning from the fish how to surface and dive, from the flower how to open and accept, from the stone how to crack and let light in, and from the birds that wings are more useful at times than brains.

Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening – for 12 March (p. 86)

This reading reminds us of the power of seeking wisdom in water and the other elements as a way of accessing answers. The Messenger of Water (Page of Cups), via the affirmative and positive ‘The Good Tarot’ deck, speaks of the power of “seeing the best in others.” I love the imagery of the Messenger focusing on the seahorse, exemplifying looking for the rare, mystical and beautiful in our encounters.

This morning I swam with many fish again and found a sense of peace. When I intuitively reached out for Mark Nepo’s ‘The Book of Awakening’ message for today for this narrative, it is all about finding ourselves reflected in the life about us. There is a meditation or visualisation for each day’s reading in this book. Today’s, for March 12, is about revisiting a special place and reconnecting with one aspect of why you keep going back there:

It might be the wind through the grass, or the sound of the water, or the light through coloured leaves.

I visualised and connected with where I swim and that first feeling of pushing out and stroking into a small reef where fish swim. It is the most liberating and calming feeling. I return there again and again for peace and stillness, finding myself and answers as I move through the water.

seeking wisdom

The gifts of challenge

The Nine of Earth from ‘The Good Tarot’ deck reminds us of the value of pursuing excellence and of self-control and focus. We are almost there, and whatever else is happening, there is an underlying sense of progress despite obstacles now. There is freedom in this and part of seeking wisdom this week is realising how far we have come. Knowing what to do to focus and finish the work we have planned is of value.

My own transition journey has four key features: life coaching, writing, tarot and personality type work. And this is what I seek to meld to offer to others.

I’ve been working on each of these areas for many years but in a focused way for the past 18 months. It’s time now to bring this vision and unique set of connections home into practices and offerings to support others. I’m ready to roll this out and am weaving the blend of skills, knowledge and experience only I can bring forth.

It is the same for each of us. We all have our magic brand of wisdom and talent, our passions and personality, our values and desires.

The Good Tarot ‘Nine of Earth’ reminds us:

I am diligent and disciplined, focused on completing the work I began long ago. I stick to my program, trusting that the plan is unfolding before me exactly as Spirit intended.

Seeking wisdom in water and elsewhere

These times are not without challenge and the energies lately seem so sensitive and highly strung. So as you work on your plan to bring goals to fruition, you may be facing challenges.

Seeking wisdom in the challenges is also encouraged. The Wisdom of the Oracle ‘Soul Mates’ card asks:

What is the gift in this?

We are encouraged to look in the mirror rather than blame others. There are old stories to be healed and seeking wisdom as we negotiate stormy seas is a way to a calmer passage. Wherever you are feeling relationships bringing you down, there is richness in there to be gained if we can dive deeper.

Seeking wisdom in the calmness of water and elsewhere may help to bring these lessons and answers to the surface if we can quiet our minds and listen.

seeking wisdom

Self-leadership in seeking wisdom

It’s important to remember what practices help you in your own self-leadership at this time. What helps you in seeking wisdom? Which activities calm you and bring things gently to the surface without so much fanfare?

These are the activities to engage in this week.

For me, they are:

  • Morning Pages and other writing
  • Tarot and Oracle work including this Tarot Narrative
  • Blogging
  • Swimming
  • Reading
  • Walking in nature

And poetry. It was lovely to get back to poetry recently via a contribution to Sabrina Davis 25 Tips to Living Unapologetically. It’s wonderful to remember and revisit what makes your heart sing.

Write your own list of activities for being in the now and seeking your inner wisdom.

It’s time this week for seeking your own messengers of water, ways to connect with emotion and deeper meaning.

This is a great week for seeking wisdom in water and elsewhere, whatever helps you listen to your own inner voice in peace. 

Love to hear your thoughts!

I’d love to hear if you are feeling these energies around seeking wisdom in water and elsewhere, especially what places and activities help you to be still and listen within.

  • Where are you feeling swirly and out of control?
  • How can you make time for the practices that calm you?
  • What special practices have you let go of and what is the impact of this?
  • How can you weave a little gentle wisdom seeking back into your life?
  • Which element is calling you – water, fire, earth or air?
  • How can you connect with the element you need or that sustains you?
  • What’s the magic seahorse in your life to focus your attention on?

All best wishes for this week of seeking inner wisdom especially if you are facing challenging times. See how you can work with the elements to connect you. I hope that you find wisdom and answers as you listen.

May the Messenger of Water guide you as you seek to finish those long planned for projects and heal those relationships that need it. And let me know what you think of this post and this weekly Tarot Narrative!

seeking wisdom

This image by Lauren at Sol + Co

Keep in touch & free ebook on the ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You can work with me to help tap into that inner wisdom and magic guidance. Free 30-45 minute coaching consults chats are available in March + April for a May coaching start so please get in touch at terri@quietwriting.com to talk further. I’d love to be a guide alongside to help you conduct creativity and magic with spirit and heart in your own unique way.

You can download my free 95-page ebook on the 36 Books that Shaped my Story – just sign up with your email address in the box to the right or below.  You will also receive updates from Quiet Writing and its passions. This includes personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot and other connections to help express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community.

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

You might also enjoy:

Grief and pain can be our most important teachers

Alchemy and conducting magic with spirit and heart

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Your body of work – the greatest gift for transition to a bright new life

Joy – 18 inspiring quotes on enjoying what you do and love

inspiration & influence personality and story transcending

10 amazing life lessons from swimming in the sea

July 4, 2017

sea swimming

This year I started swimming in the sea. I swim two or three times a week, about a kilometre each time. Even over winter in Sydney with a wetsuit on, I kept swimming.

The greatest surprise is how much I love it. Getting stronger and fitter was a goal I set to work on with two coaches this year as part of my coaching training and development. I’m supporting my mum who is not well as my primary life focus at present. Ensuring I balance this priority with my own self-care, well-being and fitness at this time is an important goal.

The other big surprise is how much I’ve learned from it. Like walking, swimming is a meditative practice and swimming in the sea adds other dimensions of weather conditions, sea creatures and a natural underwater world to explore as you exercise. There’s time to reflect on life as you stroke and watch the sand patterns, the fish moving and the seaweed swaying.

So here’s some learning I’ve gathered from my experiences of swimming in the sea.

10 amazing life lessons from swimming in the sea

1 You don’t have to see clearly to keep moving

Some days the water is cloudy and you can’t see well. Sure, it’s a bit off-putting but you can still exercise, keep moving and achieve the same goals. Not being able to see clearly can be challenging but it’s also something to work through and learn from. You could give up on account of not being able to see clearly but knowing where you’re eventually heading is enough to keep you moving forward. And you can develop resilience in managing the not-so-perfect conditions as well. Let’s face it – everything’s not always going to be crystal clear.

2 You can adjust your stroke to the conditions

Each day is different but you can adjust, mixing up the strokes so that you can manage the environment. When it gets choppy, breaststroke is a gentler way to ride the waves. If you need to get through some challenging currents, you might need to switch to freestyle and stroke more strongly, digging deeper. That ability to mix up your responses, dialling up and down, emphasising and de-emphasising helps you stay the distance.You can modulate your stroke, powering up and powering down, depending on the conditions. That way you can still make headway without losing too much energy in the process.

3 Breathing deeply and rhythmically is the best solution to feeling challenged

Sometimes the water’s choppy, other times your equipment proves challenging and you take in water; other times, something’s just worrying you and you feel rattled and you don’t move as smoothly through the water. But you can stop and sort the issues out, then restart, breathing deeply and rhythmically. It’s so calming and soon you’re stroking and moving with grace again. It seems that deep, rhythmic breathing is potentially the best and simplest way to tackle most situations that are troubling.

4 Getting all your equipment right helps immensely

You set out all positive but sometimes your equipment lets you down. A leaky swim mask can be so frustrating and you have to keep stopping. Without the right wetsuit, you’ll find swimming in cold water very difficult. You learn from others and from experience and the days you get all the equipment right, you swim so much better and so much more comfortably. It’s partly preparation and partly experience, but it makes all the difference when you get all the aspects working together. It’s a good reminder about the value of setting out in an organised fashion, putting in the research and listening to and learning from others.

5 Learning the names of things (like sea creatures) enriches our experience

Sage Cohen in her book, ‘Fierce on the Page‘, talks about poet Galway Kinnell’s advice to younger poets: “Learn the names of things.” Sage goes on to explain:

When we learn the vocabulary of any topic – insects, dinosaurs, solar systems, or bath towels, for example – we transcend time, space, and form, and we get to experience particular realms through the specificity of language. The names of things are the keys that unlock such raptures. (page 98)

So I’m identifying and learning the names of what I’m seeing as I swim like: magpie morwong, shovel nose ray, catfish, whiting, nudibranch, flathead, bream and sting ray. I research afterwards so I know what I’ve seen. It helps me really look at the fish and the other creatures carefully. Staying curious and learning the details provides so many resources you can use in other contexts, like writing, plus it’s so much fun.

6 Facing our fears is often as simple as just moving and doing it

Once I would never go beyond my depths in water because of a fear of things, like, well, deep water. But I was missing out on so much and the fear was out of proportion to the risk. Now I swim in deep water and I swim with tiny baby Port Jackson sharks sitting on the bottom of the sand. They’ve come into the bay to grow and I swim over them looking in wonder at their beautiful colours. So now I swim comfortably in deeper waters between boats anchored and I look down at baby sharks and it’s so empowering. It’s true, just doing what we fear can be the best way to face our fears, assessing and managing any risks but watching our tendency to overstate them.

7 Solitary activities can be more fun with the support of a friendly team

There’s no way I would do this by myself. Even though swimming is mostly a solitary activity, I swim with a group. Different locals turn up each time; there’s a core of people and we swim together. We share experiences and tips and laugh together about how crazy we are to swim in winter. We support each other and have coffee together after when it’s freezing. It makes it so much easier and more enjoyable and I learn from them. It’s a reminder that even doing solitary activities, like coaching and writing, can be so more fun when we’re supported by a friendly community. Finding ways to form groups around independent working, creativity or exercising is so valuable and will help keep us going for the long haul.

8 You can zig-zag and still get to your destination so don’t be too hard on yourself

Swimming in the sea is different to other swimming I’ve done. There’s no chlorine (yay!) and you need to learn to work with different currents and waves each day. And sometimes it gets all so interesting looking at everything under the water, you lose your direction. But it’s okay to zig-zag a bit. Over time, you get better at navigating via the tracks in the sand and keeping your line. So don’t be too hard on yourself for not swimming perfectly straight occasionally. It’s all fine – you’ll still get there and maybe learn or see something new in the process.

sea swimming

9 Exercise can be the best kind of meditation (Swimming with fish is the best!)

We start and end our swim near a reef with beautiful fish. Most days you can see hundreds of fish of so many different varieties. You can swim through them and above them – tiny silver fleeting fish, black and white and yellow magpie morwongs, little bright blue fish, zebra striped ones. And there’s seaweed and rocks for them to move amongst. It’s a backdrop of waving beauty and there’s light making stunning rainbow patterns on the deep sandy bottom.

To start and end the swim this way is a kind of meditative asana, like the beginning and close of a yoga class. The body begins to exercise, the mind begins to still, and then comes to rest at the end as you climb out of the water feeling like a different being. It’s important to remember that exercise can be a form of meditation – walking, yoga, swimming – and this kind of break in your week is so very needed.

10 You can be meditative, mindful and let thoughts go as you crystallise new perspectives

These ten lessons I’ve learned from swimming in the sea I gathered together whilst swimming in the sea. And like any meditative exercise, it’s a combination of being mindful and letting thoughts go as well as crystallising significant reflections. Just as you coalesce thoughts as you step out on a walk, you can gather random intuitive pieces and frame them into new shapes. For example, a blog post to share with others. Meditative exercise can help us rest the mind and also help thoughts come together into new realisations. These perspectives can be so valuable in gathering our thoughts, managing uncertainty and being resilient. And with this strength, we can be of assistance to others.

Thought pieces

This post is dedicated to two amazing, fit women who are life coaches trained by the Beautiful You Coaching Academy: Samantha Jayne Wheatley and Jeanette Buchanan. I have had the pleasure of being coached gently by both these inspirational women. They have taught me by example and through their coaching, about the power of being healthy, of getting out and moving. And of the value of self-love and self-care in this activity and how it can be of benefit to others.

I am so grateful. Love you both xx

When you start creating for and in honor of those that have made a difference to you, your work changes.

Seth Godin, Dedicating the merit

sea swimming

Feature and fish image from pexels.com and used with permission and thanks.

Bottom image from a beautiful local swimming day recently.

Keep in touch & free Reading Wisdom ebook 

You can download my free Reading Wisdom Guide – just sign up with your email address in the box to the right or below.  You will also receive Beach Notes updates from Quiet Writing and its passions. This includes personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot and other connections to help express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community.

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

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love, loss & longing transition work life

Finishing on a high note – closure, letting go and moving on

May 25, 2017

 Some of us think holding on makes us strong;

but sometimes it is letting go.

Hermann Hesse

 

moving on

Finishing on a high note is important. As one thing ends and we cycle into new beginnings, it’s vital to pause and reflect on closure and tie up any loose ends. And depending on the situation, it’s also a moment to restore, forgive, show gratitude, bed down our learning and celebrate what we have achieved.

Here are some thoughts on unfinished symphonies and opportunities for ending on a high note and shifting into a positive journey in moving on.

Unfinished Symphonies

The beautiful ‘Unfinished Symphony’ card from Colette Baron-Reid’s Wisdom of the Oracle deck has popped up for me a few times in the past weeks. Each time, it’s reminded me of the power of appropriate closure and reflection on what has passed before moving on.

closure

The first time it appeared, it prompted me to focus on some administrative loose-ends – paperwork, small things I’d been putting off that were hanging over my head and stopping my forward movement.

The next time, it was about finishing off an e-course that was very valuable to me that I was close to completing and hadn’t quite finalised. It was a reminder to thank the creator personally for what they had given me through the process and to take the lessons forward and integrate them fully into my life.

Most recently, it was about honouring my skills, my body of work, as I reflect on my next steps in my career and vocational life. Skills are transferable and we develop many in our lifetime. It’s so easy to close the door on skills that are valuable as we shift into different roles or environments. It’s important to take stock of all the varied knowledge, experience and values we bring forward as we recreate ourselves again and again in career and vocational roles and through our own businesses.

Closure, completion and finishing off

As we shift to the end of something and into a cycle of completion and restarting, it’s so easy to rush forward and forget the reflection phase, the opportunity to pause and integrate what’s just happened.

As the Guidebook for the Wisdom of the Oracle says for the Unfinished Symphony card:

Take inventory so that emotional and psychological closure can occur and the answers you seek will be found. You can’t move forward if you are leaving things unfinished. Reflect on what has passed so that the symphony can finally end on a high note.
Page 37

We might be leaving something or somewhere because we choose to. It might be retirement or the end of a relationship or a move of location. Other times, it may not be through our choice. It might be a case of redundancy, betrayal, just not fitting in any more or circumstances beyond our control.

Whatever the situation of finishing up or leaving something behind, it’s valuable to reflect on how we can leave gracefully with wisdom and a sense of completion. We can move forward with a spirit of reflection and learning, and with a practical attitude of taking what will serve us well on the onward journey. It’s important not to leave loose ends, unfinished business or pieces of ourselves behind.

Ways to finish on a high note

Here are some practical ways to finish on a high note:

Tie up the loose ends

As Colette Baron-Reid says: “Tie up loose ends so you can move forward with surety, knowing you’re on a prosperous path.” It might be paperwork, it might be some difficult task still to be done you keep putting off, it might be picking up some special belongings from somewhere where they no longer belong. But this symbolic tying up and finishing can be a powerful way of stepping through into a new purpose.

See things through to completion and celebrate that

If you’ve created something valuable and special, see it through. Finish it, see how it can be developed further, update your CV to reflect your achievement and apply your learning in practice for positive outcomes. See where whatever you have created can shine brighter. Publish it, write about it, adapt it, finish off its potential and bed it down into the fabric of the world. Celebrate your part in it and let people know what you’ve achieved.

Say thank you

If you’ve finished a course, a book or time in a job role, say thank you to those who created the circumstances or the work. Finish the work, then round it off with appreciation and gratitude, sharing the joy of what you learned, what will take you forward and why it was important. The end of your cycle will help fuel your own and another’s journey.

If it’s a challenging thing like a relationship ending, the thank you might be in the form of an unsent letter or journalling, but still take the time to realise the benefits of what was given to you. Don’t lose the good in the shadow of the bad. Even if you feel bitter, it’s better to brainstorm the positives about what the disappointment or betrayal taught you than to drown in the juices of your anger. Find the pieces to take forward and let go of what’s not helpful.

Forgive

Danielle LaPorte’s White Hot Truth has wise advice on forgiveness. When you’re ready, it’s a powerful thing and it’s often as much about forgiving ourselves and our perceived complicit involvement as it is about others. That’s where a lot of energy is being drained away as we carry it unnecessarily:

As Lady Ninja of the Light put it to me: “I see forgiveness as releasing congested energy that’s not needed by the energy body. No stories, no players, simply time to release and move on to brighter ways.”
You stop letting past hurt affect you in the present. You rinse down the story, you take what you want, and let the rest go up to the Light so it can be put to better use. You give yourself forward.
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The ways we forgive can be many and varied and don’t always need to involve the other party; sometimes it’s just not possible anyway. But diluting the negative impact of that story and releasing the energy is so important in moving on.

Take what’s valuable with you

Don’t leave what’s valuable behind and take what you can with you into new circumstances. Reflect on the transferable and portable knowledge and experience you can carry forward.

You might have been in an organisation for a while and suddenly there are changes which mean that they no longer value your skills and experience. But you can. Identify the ingredients, skills and experiences that make up ‘you’, your brand, that you can market to a new employer or use to build up your own business.

As Pamela Slim says in Body of Work:

No one is looking out for your career any more. You must find meaning, locate opportunities, sell yourself, and plan for failure, calamity, and unexpected disasters. You must develop a set of skills that makes you able to earn an income in as many ways as possible.
Page 4

Cycles, abandoned success and the Eight of Cups

The Eight of Cups tarot card has reappeared many times in the past year as I negotiate a time of transition and reflect on endings and beginnings. It’s a deep card that speaks of abandoned success and choosing to walk away but it’s also a reminder not to leave pieces of ourselves behind.

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The Rider Waite image of the card shows a figure choosing to walk away from the cups. As Benebell Wen describes in it in Holistic Tarot:

There has been an abandonment of past fruits, the Eight of Cups is about a soul-searching journey; ascending to emotional higher ground. The Seeker is leaving behind something he or she spent much effort and care to nurture and develop. There was disappointment in a past undertaking and this the Seeker has abandoned his or her previous work.
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There’s a suggestion of leaving on our own terms, but there’s that future we imagined, our identity we shaped there that we feel we are leaving behind. So there’s sadness and a kind of grief. As Jessica Crispin explains it in The Creative Tarot:

And it’s not just our work but our actual selves that we pour into what we do. Leaving it, admitting that the end result is no longer worth it, is difficult.”
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So there is often a sense of loss even if we are choosing to do the leaving or the finishing. Everything is so inevitably bound up together.

The stunning and wise Art of Life Tarot Eight of Cups reminds us that in each ending there is a new beginning. So let’s start as fresh, unencumbered and as energetic as we can, taking the positive and valuable learnings and leaving any baggage or drag on our energy behind.

closure

Resilience is as much about letting go as it is about moving through. Whatever the circumstances, let’s finish our personal symphonies as positively as we can, on a high note, with gratitude and reflection, bringing it home with the brightness of a new song.

And your unfinished symphony?

Would love to hear about any unfinished symphonies you can work on or are working on as you move forward into new times. Share in the comments below or via the Quiet Writing Facebook page or on Instagram so we can support each other as a community to move ahead positively.

Keep in touch

Quiet Writing is on Facebook – Please visit here and ‘Like’ to keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. There are regular posts on coaching, books, tarot, intuition, influence, passion, creativity, productivity, writing, voice, introversion and Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

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If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

You might also enjoy:

Movement, stillness and navigating challenging times

Shining a quiet light: working the gifts of introversion

Intuition, writing and work: eight ways intuition can guide your creativity

Healing with words of gold: The Empress, Kintsugi and alchemy

Featured image by Roman Samborskyi via Shutterstock and used with permission and thanks.

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reading notes writing

Being ‘Fierce on the Page’ – a book review

October 9, 2016

‘Fierce on the Page: Become the writer you were meant to be and succeed on your own terms’ by Sage Cohen, Writer’s Digest Books

Fierce on the Page - book cover

I first came across Sage Cohen through her book Writing the Life Poetic which focuses on building poetic voice and putting poetry back into our everyday lives. I also had the opportunity of working on my poetry through Sage’s online classes a few years back. From these experiences, I come to Sage’s works on writing with high expectations of both a pleasurable reading experience and wise, practical advice.

And I am never disappointed. ‘Fierce on the Page’ is a rare and rich read, structured as a series of 75 reflective essays that offer strategies, perspectives and practices to encourage ferocity in writing and in life.

Sage defines ferocity and the fierce writer in her introduction:

The fierce writer ensures that the time and energy she invests in her craft pays dividends of insight and evolution. The fierce writer discovers how to come into his alignment with his authority, leverage his interests, and honour his rhythms, to become the truest instrument of his craft.

From page one of the first essay, ‘You Are Your Best Expert’, I was lulled by Sage’s reassuring voice telling me stories and building on these to make connections. The essays provide a path to navigate the way into writing and into progressing through many aspects of its craft and life.

Each contemplative essay is so thought-provoking. My copy is now full of underlining, connections and possible creations sparked by the reading experience. Sage’s practical business writing background is also woven through the pages. There is a blend of wisdom honed from writing experience of all kinds, along with a grounded sense of what works to bring forward new possibilities and how productivity can be enhanced.

Some of the key strengths of ‘Fierce on the Page’ for me are:

  1. Its associative approach: There is an energy of association underlying each essay. An anecdote or story is told or an experience recounted. These reflections then form the basis of the essay. It’s an evocative reading experience as you are folded into each idea and its applications evolve. This associative approach lends a wise felt experience that makes it easy to engage on a very deep level.
  2. The structure of each essay: Each essay builds from its opening to a realisation or discovery and then a practical application. From there, we are given suggested strategies to apply and questions to dive into to enable us to ‘be fierce’ in our writing endeavours. Woven into this are quotes and references from other creatives that provide prompts and shifts to our perspective.
  3. The poetic language of discovery: As each essay reaches moments where the connections and realisations are crystallised, the language likewise reaches a quiet crescendo of feeling. The learning is expressed sensitively and enacted directly, as with the language of poetry. The images and associations created from this narrative approach make the reading experience lived and heartfelt.

For example, in ‘Write Your Manifesto’, essay #55:

I have come to accept that the writing life is expansive enough to hold my many refractions, and that these add up to the whole of what I have to give.”

In ‘A Bug’s Life, A Writer’s Life’, essay #58:

When you are at an impasse of transition, and your next steps are unclear, follow the words. Trust the words. Trust the cliffs, the canyons, the face flowers. Trust your disorientation and your sense of direction. Trust what you find and don’t find. The shadow gives shape to light. These are your stories. The dance of interdependence is a hum of words.

In ‘Get to the Place of Grace’, essay #63:

Whatever it means to you in your life and your writing, be on the lookout for that lift-off in your words and that landing in your being. Hone your attention to the place of grace where you can feel, know and trust that you and your piece of writing have completed your journey.

Sage’s reminds us that: ‘You have everything you need—and you are everything you need—to do the writing you want to do’. These words provide the gentle encouragement many of us need to begin, to continue or to start up where we left off.

I encourage you to seek out the wisdom and practicality of ‘Fierce on the Page’ as a support in engaging in quiet, resilient writing and in succeeding in where you want to be in your writing. Sage’s books are always on my desk as talismans of encouragement and practice. This special book will stay close at hand, gaining more comments and underlining over the years, as I seek to apply its messages and be fierce with my own writing and life.

Master the Margins

Thought pieces:

You can visit Sage Cohen’s Fierce on the Page website for more information including a community page to share thoughts from the practical exercises in the book.

The interview Mantu Joshi on Writing and Living Fierce is an inspiring example and shows the power and outcomes that can come from living out fierce and committed writing strategies. In this case, it resulted in a book on resilient parenting, written two hours a week over two years.

Other books on writing by Sage Cohen that I recommend are:

Writing the Life Poetic – an invitation to read and write poetry; fabulous for re-engaging with the spirit of poetry in your life.

The Productive Writer – practical strategies and thought processes to increase your productivity and move from ideas to action and outcomes in your writing life. I’ve written a book review of The Productive Writer which you can find here.

7 Comments
creativity writing

The subtle art of not writing

September 27, 2016

pexels-photo_writing

It’s a subtle art, the art of not writing. I have not written now through many years, filling and part-filling many journals and notebooks, drafting hundreds of poems and compiling numerous blog posts over more than six years. I’ve not written in the workplace for over 30 years – including writing for and editing publications, writing a handbook of research and influencing many business outcomes with my writing skills. I’ve not written my way to publication in a few cases, so much so that the Australian National Library, a number of literary journals and the AustLit database of Australian literature know about me. And there’s so much not writing paraphernalia around me here as I sit, that I can hardly move.

It seems I am a master of not writing, spinning a myth about myself over the years that to this day can see me looking achingly at writing texts and courses as the cure to this ailment. It’s true, their balms and solutions may help me to move through this impasse. But to allow them to make me feel that I am a complete novice in this art and space, with no track record or prior experience, is all my own work.

It seems that just as I have tricked myself into the subtle art of not writing, I could just as easily trick myself into the art of writing. They seem to be transferable, almost the same skills, that could be shifted in focus. Perhaps I need to chunk it more, break it down into parts I can think of as projects, to make it easier to manage. Calling one focus something like ‘The Poetry Project’ would help make the work all the more tangible and achievable. Now I come to think of it, this blog is a little like that.

With a wry smile and a sense of humour, and by some gentle stealth, I could set a time-limited practice and tease a set number of pages or words from each day to get started and call it part of the subtle art of not writing.

I could get the best poems I have written over the years and put them into a small volume that is not really a publication, but just a collection of pieces of my heart in language I have shaped, uniquely my voice. I could craft these small multi-faceted jewels over time and work out how they can best be worn and integrated into a personal style I can step out in.

And I could turn this desire to write into something real that heartens each day, a deft trick of time that makes the minutes count. I could further inscribe the journey already started through miles of lines of ink into artefacts that might light the way ahead, little by little, much as novelist E L Doctorow reminds us:

Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.

That delicious journey, and then actually sitting down to (not) write.

Thought pieces:

Writing this piece made me think a whole raft of things: resistance, getting out of our own way, making things manageable, shifting our contexts, small tweaks, tricking ourselves, recognising our body of work over time and self-belief.

In related thoughts and connections:

Courteney E Martin’s article, Writing the Stepping Stone: why you haven’t written your book yet, has some excellent practical suggestions for getting your book written including: recognising that it might not actually be a book but something else; dealing with distractions such as the internet; and realising that the work you are doing actually might be a stepping stone. I love these final words about, yes, getting out of our own way:

If you have a book inside of you dying to come out, close this browser. Close this computer, or turn off this phone. Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and write a letter to someone you know personally about the topic. The directness of the form will get you out of your own way and on your way to doing what you are meant to do.

How to Write a Novel in Thirty Minutes per day has many strategies for: getting into the habit of writing; controlling or removing interferences and distractions like the internet (including ‘put your mobile on aeroplane mode’ – there’s a thought!); building accountability; and promoting good practice planning, productivity and resilience. It’s a great roadmap for ‘driving at night in the fog’.

Sage Cohen in the wonderful Fierce on the Page (book review coming up here soon!) has a few tips on little shifts in attitude for overcoming resistance. In the chapter, ‘Change your context to regain your appetite’. Sage prompts us:

What if you found a new way to approach an old struggle or stuck place? How could you come at it sideways to find a new perspective? What if you were to make a small shift in attitude or practice – and then another – until you felt a bit more space or ease or fun?

And so many of Elizabeth’s Gilbert’s Magic Lessons podcast interviews touch on this theme of getting out of our own way with our creative ventures, realising we are actually already doing the work, not being so hard on ourselves and just getting on with it. Dive into any of these podcast pleasures but I have a special soft spot for the one with poets Cecilia and Mark Nepo, Who Gets to Decide Whether You’re a Legitimate Artist? It’s about who gets to decide who is a good poet and the value and legacy of poetry. Listening to this one was life changing for me!

Share your thought pieces:

I’d love to hear how you are breaking through any resistance with tricks or shifts in attitude. How are you getting out of your own way or valuing your creative work?

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