A review of Lead Yourself First: Inspiring Leadership Through Solitude, Raymond M Kethledge and Michael S. Erwin, Bloomsbury Publishing, 2017.
Leading yourself first, self-leadership and solitude in leadership
The value of solitude is a critical but often overlooked component of leadership success. Finding quiet space in leadership roles is challenging and even more so with the expectations of constant connectivity.
‘Lead Yourself First: Inspiring Leadership Through Solitude’, by Raymond M Kethledge and Michael S Erwin, focuses on solitude as an essential practice for effective, high level leadership. Its central thesis is that to lead effectively, you must practise self-leadership and lead yourself first.
Leadership as a quiet journey
My own journey as a leader has a search for solitude as a central piece. When I was invited to speak to a group of emerging leaders, I chose as my topic ‘Leadership: a quiet journey’. I spoke about what I’d learned from my leadership experiences as an INTJ and introvert at the extreme of the spectrum. In this, I drew on learning and evidence from Quiet by Susan Cain and Quiet Influence by Jennifer Kahnweiler.
From experience, I had come to understand the value of making space and time in my day for deep, focused thought. I realised that my skill in writing was just as effective a leadership strategy as speaking, if not moreso. I had learnt most about leadership when I had no direct line management of people and it was all about self-leadership.
Being quiet, writing, reading books and seeking solitude felt like a curious thing to be talking about in terms of leadership. My discomfort made me realise that my experience was not a subject that was commonly talked about.
The challenges of finding solitude in leadership
Whilst those who are naturally quiet will likely be seeking solitude spaces in their leadership days, the challenges working against it are increasing. The impact of technology and the expectations of always being available make closing the door, going for a walk or putting an hour aside to think all hard things to justify. Technology and social media contexts create another layer for leaders as they work through the sheer amount of information and people-contact generated. It also promotes the perception of being contactable across all levels of the organisation.
The reality is that, now more than ever, all people regardless of their personality preferences, need to create the space for deep thought and reflection to enable high-level leadership practices. We need the discipline to unplug and connect with ourselves and the larger vision and purpose of our work. We need to be aware of what we are losing by not making this space in our days.
Solitude, self-leadership and leadership qualities
With ‘Lead Yourself First’, Kethledge and Erwin build on the work of Susan Cain and others, extending the context of valuing quiet strengths into the critical difference that practising self-leadership and solitude in leadership can make for all personality types.
Through research, case-studies and interviews with inspiring leaders, the authors make a strong case for establishing the discipline of leadership solitude. They create a space where leadership and solitude can be talked about together more comfortably. In addition, they provide a qualitative evidence base for this. Most importantly, they provide practical strategies for creating solitude to enable strong self-leadership and through this, the effective leadership of others.
Kethledge and Erwin focus on four leadership qualities that solitude enhances:
- clarity
- creativity
- emotional balance and
- moral courage.
Their analysis of each of these qualities is through stories of how leaders have accessed solitude. For example, you can find clarity through both analytical clarity and intuition as shown in contrasting case studies of how Dwight Eisenhower and Jane Goodall honed their leadership skills in different contexts.
The discipline and practice of solitude
According to Kethledge and Erwin, you can develop the discipline of developing a practice of quiet leadership solitude in two key ways. Firstly, building ‘pockets of solitude’ into your life in a systematic way and secondly, maximising any unexpected solitude opportunities.
These two disciplines weave through the case study and interview stories. Leaders create spaces of self-leadership and solitude in their lives in many ways. These include: running, swimming, walking, writing, tractor driving, reading, going to church and driving. Taking the Viktor Frankl maxim that there is a space between every stimulus and response, the leaders describe how they consistently create and commit to this space to develop considered responses.
Co-author and extrovert Michael Erwin, in his leadership role as an Intelligence Officer in combat zones, regularly went for long runs in 100 plus degree heat in the desert to clear his head and focus on his leadership decisions. Winston Churchill laid bricks as a way of creating a ‘personal bubble of quiet’.
The ability to recognise and make use of unexpected opportunities for solitude is also an art to practice. Events like unexpected life changes, flight delays and cancelled appointments are all potential opportunities for solitude and quiet work. The pandemic environment of covid has created more quiet, alone and creative time for some people with unexpected opportunities of working from home.
Effective leadership solitude practice
The book describes effective leadership solitude practices through a series of case studies and interviews drawn from a range of contexts. These include military strategy, politics, education, religious and civil rights, scientific discovery and the corporate world. This is valuable for seeing the universal golden threads of solitude and self-leadership and its empowering capacities for leaders.
Examples of solitude self-leadership practice include:
Writing as clarifying reflection and strategic practice:
Thinking by writing is an underrated strategic and self-leadership skill; however, it has great power to connect thoughts and generate new perspectives. Dwight Eisenhower used the strategy of writing memos to himself as a way of clearing his mind. As he described it: ‘I’m just collecting my thoughts in a structured way.’ (p7).
Winston Churchill, a serious and committed writer, commenced his writing work at 11 pm. The practice was a way of focusing his thoughts and gaining historical perspective. The power of writing gave him the ability to speak with courage and authority as reflected in his speeches of the time.
Moral courage and seeing solitude as a first principle:
Brene Brown says in her interview that the biggest mistake can be seeing solitude as a luxury. She stresses the need for it as a first principle. Whilst the social pressures to resist solitude are ever present, the courage required is worth it. As Kethledge and Erwin reinforce, solitude is ‘not the reward for great leadership but the path to it.’ (p138)
Choosing to reclaim solitude in leadership
The authors encourage readers to reclaim solitude in leadership. They provide suggestions for practical change for creating leadership solitude in contemporary times. The first and most encompassing is to reset the explicit expectations around how you plan to work differently.
Strategies include: identifying a certain number of ‘no meeting’ days a month; setting aside time to think as an identified part of the day; setting a policy of no email communication over the weekend; and more explicitly talking about the need for solitude in the workplace.
Finding physical solitude havens such as the workplace library or other quiet locations is a suggested strategy. Working from home is an option we can all hopefully explore more in current times. Identifying the life activities that help achieve the leadership qualities needed is also highlighted. This includes meditation for emotional balance, journal writing for clarity or movement for mental stillness.
Like the feelings I experienced in speaking to emerging leaders about my quiet leadership journey, we may initially feel uncomfortable in talking about solitude practices or acting on them. They may be challenging for others or we may risk being seen as non-conformist. The authors highlight that the greater consequence is a loss of priorities as we drown in lack of focus.
Contribution to solitude in leadership
‘Lead Yourself First’ is a valuable contribution to the field of leadership and to the subject of quiet influence. Susan Cain’s book, Quiet, helped make being an introvert easier to understand and talk about. I hope this book makes it easier for leaders to carve solitude into their days and to speak about it.
The experience of reading this book was, in itself, one of intense reflective solitude on my own practices. It is one I encourage you to engage in also to consider your own self-leadership practices whether you are a leader or not. I hope this book leads to people focusing on the higher purposes of leadership and to practising self-leadership, in contrast to the moment to moment response to the latest email or crisis.
As David Whyte reminds us in Crossing the Unknown Sea: Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity:
‘Our bodies and our personalities are vessels, and leadership, like captaincy, is a full inhabitation of the vessel.’
We can all only benefit from that fuller inhabitation that such moments of solitude and self-leadership provide.
Author note
This post was originally a guest post for WorkSearch published on their site in 2017. As their site is no longer live, it is reproduced here with amendments to reflect current times. Thanks to Bree Rackley for social media and guest posting support for the initial guest posting.
It’s fascinating how this post written a few years ago now resonates so strongly as many deal with increased solitude and quiet away from workplace environments. I hope these insights are helpful to see the opportunities for solitude and self-leadership where we can in challenging times.
Warmest wishes
Terri
About the author
Terri Connellan is a Sydney-based certified life coach, author and psychological type practitioner accredited in the Majors Personality Type Inventory™ and Majors PT-Elements™. She has a Master of Arts in Language and Literacy, two teaching qualifications and a successful 30-year career as a teacher of reading and writing and a leader in adult vocational education. Her coaching and writing focus on three elements—creativity, personality and self-leadership—especially for women in transition to a life with deeper purpose. Terri works with women globally through her creative business, Quiet Writing, encouraging deeper self-understanding of body of work, creativity and psychological type for more wholehearted and fulfilling lives. Her book ‘Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition’ will be published in 2021 by the kind press.
Book your Self-leadership Discovery Call with Terri here.
Further related reading on Quiet Writing:
- Shining a quiet light – working the gifts of introversion
- Creative and connected #11 – on the special value of self-leadership
- Creative space – how space and place inspires our creativity
- Quiet in my life – how learning the value of quiet made all the difference
- Stories of Wholehearted Living
- Personality skills including how to be the best you can be as an introvert in recruitment
