podcast

Welcome to the Create Your Story Podcast

October 29, 2021

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Welcome to the first episode of the Create Your Story Podcast!

In this episode, I share about myself and about what to expect in the podcast.

You can listen above or read the notes and links below. Here are the highlights and the full transcript is below.

Show Notes

An introduction to me and my work.
How the podcast came about.
The signature elements of my work as a coach and author focused on transition.
Three signature elements: Creativity, Self-leadership, Personality
How insights from these areas can help in navigating chance.
The difference between change and transition
Why having a transition mindset is so powerful.
The value of community when going through times of transition.
Upcoming episodes and what to expect.

Transcript of podcast

Hello, I’m Terri Connellan, your host for the Create Your Story Podcast. And welcome to Episode One of the podcast. Today, I’ll be sharing why I’ve created the podcast and what you can expect in future episodes and conversations here. Firstly, I’m so excited to be kicking off the Create Your Story Podcast and sharing conversations on creativity, self-leadership and personality to inspire your wholehearted life and transitions.

So just a little about me, I’m an author, creative transition coach and personality type practitioner. I work through my business, Quiet Writing, and I’ve been on a major five-year transition journey from leader and teacher in the adult vocational education sector in Australia, since 2016. I’ve learnt so much during this time. And I’ve made significant mindset shifts as I’ve totally reshaped my life and crafted my coaching business and offerings, as well as writing two books, Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition and the Wholehearted Companion Workbook. And this was all in my late fifties. I turned 60, not too long ago as I record this first episode in mid-October 2021.

With all of that life change, I’ve also connected with so many fabulous people, having the most incredible and inspiring conversations. And that’s what I want to share more publicly with you here on the Create Your Story Podcast. So why Create Your Story, you might be wondering? I have a piece of paper on my wall here as I speak to you with a mind map of all that I wanted to create and what I’m still manifesting over time in my business.

And at the centre, are the words Create Your Story. It was created some time ago at the beginning of my transition journey. And it’s been a guiding light in all aspects of this journey and creative projects. What that means to me is being an active player in your life story, being the author of your journey, not being a passive participant or bystander, or feeling that you can’t influence events or circumstances in your life.

It reminds me that we’re capable of change at any time in our life, we’re capable of pivoting, shifting, recalibrating, re-evaluating and making sure that we have the tools and practices around us to be able to do this. It’s also important that we don’t leave critical pieces of ourselves behind on this journey.

My book Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition shares my personal experiences of how I’ve created and recreated my story over time during my transition. I share my experiences, feelings, and the strategies that helped me to make a positive shift as well as the challenges along the way and how I dealt with them.

Wholehearted self -leadership and create your story are really one and the same concept, slightly different language, but they’re both about that same mindset of being the active creator, author of your most fulfilling life. There are four key elements to creating your story, to wholehearted self-leadership and to my Quiet Writing business.

And you will see these concepts woven together as strands in all that I do in my writing, in my body of work and in the conversations in this podcast. So I thought I’d walk you through those four key elements today. So they are firstly Creativity, secondly, Self-leadership, thirdly, Personality, and fourthly Transition.

So let’s have a walk through each of those briefly as an introduction to my work in the world and to what you might expect on this podcast. So firstly, creativity. Creativity is the number one value in my life and it relates to self-expression. So I express this in many ways through my writing, my creative business and finding creative and innovative solutions to meet client needs, to problems in my life and also to how, people, myself, and others transition to what they desire.

We can all live creatively and strengthen the role creativity plays in our life, whether it’s finding flexible solutions to problems; bringing together our passions and unique strengths in new ways; engaging in creativity to stretch our minds and insights through reading, writing, and art. Many of the conversations on the Create Your Story Podcast, feature people who are creative in how they make a living and how they find solutions to be the active author of their life.

Secondly, self-leadership. I shared in my Wholehearted book how self-leadership developed from my leadership roles and experience as I went through my transition journey and changed my life. It’s about being self-directed and it’s about having choice. Self-leadership takes concepts from leadership, but it applies them first of all, to ourselves. It’s about being active and engaged in practices and insights that help us take conscious leadership of ourselves. And it rests on self-awareness and bringing what is unconscious or less conscious into the light more so we can see it and work with it.

It also means taking responsibility for ourselves. It’s so easy to blame ourselves or circumstances for not feeling like we can make change. And we might often find ourselves saying, “when this happens”, whatever that is, “when I get more time”, “when I reach this milestone” I’ll begin that change or take that action, but often there’s much more we can do to initiate or further the changes we desire to shape in our lives at any point in her life.

And often these are small steps, small tweaks that we can take that can make a huge difference. In Wholehearted, I share 15 self-leadership tools, practices, and mindsets honed from my experiences that can support you when you’re in transition or contemplating life changes. These are frameworks and anchors to support you through the uncertainty that a change of identity or circumstances often brings.

So thirdly, personality. A big part of self-leadership is knowing ourselves well. Personality relates to self knowledge and self awareness, and it’s about how much we are consciously aware of our natural preferences, our strengths and gifts, and also how much we understand our less preferred areas. The more, we can be consciously aware of how we’re naturally wired and how we’re naturally wired also interacts with, how we’re brought up, what we experienced through life, but how we’re naturally wired has a huge impact. The more we can recognize and play with our strengths c an be a really key part of this learning. Understanding and respecting our uniqueness helps us to honor our own ways of working. And therefore we engage less in comparisonitis and envy, and we do that wonderful thing, which is swim in our lane. This helps to recognize a particular brand of saboteurs or self sabotaging mechanisms that we might see happening again and again in our life, and to have strategies for countering them is the most important thing.

As we shift into midlife, we often find ourselves stretching into our opposites and our more unconscious areas as we develop. And this is a really powerful source of growth. But it can also make us feel quite off kilter at times, because it’s not where we feel skilled or where we feel adept. It can also make us think about what we’ve done in the past and whether it was the right thing. So we can feel a bit lost. Personality frameworks can help us make sense of what’s happening. And I’ve found Jungian psychological type frameworks incredibly helpful personally. And that’s why I’ve chosen to focus on this in the work that I do with my coaching clients.

I offer a Personality Stories coaching program that provides both an introduction to psychological type and also insights into your personal, psychological type frameworks. And that can help you with guiding your growth and development. I also weave this knowledge into everything I do, including this podcast and coaching. So I hope you’ll find concepts of personality really helpful for you as we go on this podcast journey..

And the fourth area is Transition. And this is a really important area because it’s where the rubber hits the road. So we have these great practices of creativity, of personality, of self-leadership, but how we use them when we’re negotiating change is where I think we have powerful tools to help.

So an important distinction is that change is external. It’s what happens to us. We might initiate it, but it’s still something that’s external to us, but transition is internal. It’s a psychological process that occurs on the personal level. So you might see it as change is the facts or what’s happening. And then the transition is the how, how we move through that process. How we adjust, how we shift and how we make sense of what’s happening. So using the three tools and insights, from creativity/self-expression, self-leadership/ self-direction and thirdly, personality, which is self knowledge. We can work consciously at these points of change to manage uncertainty and to plot a new path with confidence.

There’s so much we can influence in creating our story. Especially when we’re creating a new story at times of transition, having the framework of these three areas helps immensely to see where we can focus. It helps us to develop practices and anchors we can use each day to keep us on track and moving positively towards our design, goals and intentions. And this is the case, even when the times are tough and when there’s lots of ebbs and flows in our experience. And from my experience, that’s exactly what happens at times of change. It’s rarely a smooth path. So getting these three areas working well together means we have a strong toolkit of practices and mindset that we can call on at any time to support and strengthen us, and also to make sense of what’s happening and to be more conscious about our story and journey, rather than feeling like a passive bystander or participant in our own lives.

And all of this is about making a transition to a more wholehearted life where we feel fulfilled. And when we’re not feeling half-hearted or like we’re in a soul sapping situation, or like we’re living an unlived life. It’s been a dream for, four plus years now to host a podcast, talking about all the ways we can create a wholehearted story going through transition, managing challenges and uncertainty, making decisions at key points, writing books, making art, learning new skills, shaping creative projects and lives and how we thrive and grow through it all and connect with others. Community is so important. So some of the things we’ll be covering as we go through are things like the self-awareness and self-leadership journey and process, learning along the way, what I’ve learned along the way, what people particularly women have learnt along the way, tools, strategies, and tips, how we work with our personality strengths and develop our less preferred areas, realizing how we self-sabotage and what we do about it and community, what we can share with others to inspire their stories, journeys, and creations, so we all don’t feel so alone. And so we can learn from each other and not have to reinvent the wheel every time we’re going through such situations. We can learn so much from real stories from ordinary people, shaping extraordinary lives, honed and crafted from the moments of every day.

So that’s what Create Your Story is all about. I’ll be hosting conversations with writers, editors, publishers, teachers, coaches, coaching clients, creatives, personality type practitioners, psychologists, artists, bloggers, and others interested in creating and shaping their stories in the richest of ways.

I’ll share my insights as author, as creative transition coach, as psychological type practitioner and as midlife woman in transition. I don’t think we hear enough about the lives of women, especially from the perspectives of midlife and beyond and the wisdom learned from the life story journey. We’ll explore all that we’ve learnt along the way and are still learning because connecting with each other through the transitions we make helps to shape our deepest story and is so powerful.

It’s life enhancing, sparking more connections and inspiration, and it helps us not feel so alone. So I hope you will enjoy me in creating your story, listening to the podcast and sharing it with others. Leave a review to help others find it and share it with your networks too so we can encourage others to create their most inspired and fulfilling story.

I see this as a community journey. It’s certainly something I’ve learned through my work that every story that’s told, every blog post that’s written, every podcast that’s shared has the opportunity to have a huge impact on others. So I just encourage you to engage with that community spirit, with Create Your Story.

The next episodes feature conversations from the virtual launch of my books, Wholehearted, and the Companion Workbook, as well as with women, who’ve been pivotal connections on the writing and publishing journey and in my Quiet Writing business. I hope that you’ll enjoy listening. Thank you so much for being here and may these insights and conversations support you in shaping your most fulfilling and wholehearted life story.

Links to explore:

Free resources:

Chapter 1 of Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition

https://www.quietwriting.net/wholehearted-chapter-1

Other free resources: https://www.quietwriting.com/free-resources/

My books and book club:

Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition

Wholehearted Companion Workbook

Wholehearted Self-leadership Book Club

My coaching:

Work with me

Personality Stories Coaching

Connect on social media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/writingquietly/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/writingquietly

Twitter: https://twitter.com/writingquietly

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/terri-connellan/

love, loss & longing wholehearted stories

The Silent Whispers of my Mind – Journeying from fragmented to wholehearted

September 16, 2021

This guest post from Valerie Lewis shows how learning to listen to the silent whispers of our mind can help us shift from feeling fragmented to more wholehearted living.

This is the 23rd guest post in our Wholehearted Stories series on Quiet Writing! I invited readers to consider submitting a guest post on their wholehearted story. You can read more here–the invitation is open.

Quiet Writing celebrates self-leadership in wholehearted living and writing, career and creativity. This community of voices, each of us telling our own story of what wholehearted living means, is a valuable and central part of this space. In this way, we can all feel connected on our various journeys and not feel so alone. Whilst there will always be unique differences, there are commonalities that we can all learn from and share to support each other.

I’m honoured to have Valerie Lewis as a ‘Wholehearted Stories’ contributor. Valerie and I met when she joined me as a coaching client in the Sacred Creative Collective. In this story, Valerie shares how tragic life circumstances affected her so deeply. And how she moved through grief and feeling fragmented to connecting the pieces of herself through listening within. Thank you for sharing your story, Valerie.

The Silent Whispers of my Mind – Journeying from fragmented to wholehearted

My only child was killed at the age of seven. Amongst the shock and disbelief of what had happened and feeling as if I had been thrust into some horrific, unimaginable nightmare, as the days and months passed by, my mind felt so jumbled and filled with chatter. One minute my mind would tell me I couldn’t cope or I didn’t know how to think or couldn’t think straight. Sometimes at night when all was silent around me, my mind would tell me it was all a very bad dream and tomorrow I would wake up and my life would be as it was before and back to normal.

There was one time, though, when a voice, which seemed different and to come from a deeper place within my head and upper body emitting a warmth and calmness which I temporarily felt (as it spoke), assured me I would get through this. Afterwards, I was to wonder if I had actually had this thought or not because I couldn’t determine whether the voice that had spoken was in my head or outside of it.

Life can be scary

We all get scared and want to turn away, but it isn’t always strength that makes you stay. Strength is also making the decision to change your destiny.
~ Zoraida Córdova

During this painfully surreal time, I had a lot of decisions to make, some minor and many major, and there were practical tasks to be attended to. Some of my biggest decisions revolved around the fact that I was no longer who I used to be. Indeed, who was I now? I can look back and realise that the voice within my head, you know, the one I said felt as if it came from a deeper place within me, the whispering voice that was calm, matter-of-factly and assuring, really came to the fore (not sure why—maybe I was just more sensitive and receptive), and guided me in some of my decision-making (such as the decision to file for divorce and also officially change back to my maiden surname).

Of course, sometimes it was a battle, as the internal monologue was overwhelming. It was as if diverse thoughts vied for attention. Thoughts of the past, thoughts about the present, thoughts about the future that could have, should have been and thoughts about a future that I couldn’t really define, visualise or even fantasise about. Fear and an overwhelming sadness were predominant emotions during that time. But there was also a strong will to make it through that existed within me as I embarked on my journey to discover who I now was and the eventual decision to move away and create a new life for myself in another city. I was not to know then that my ‘journey’ was a journey of self-leadership and would involve so much discovering and learning.

A fragmented life

There were times when I felt too scared to look ahead to the future. The future I had envisaged and had been working towards was now a shattered dream. Many of the tangibles in my life were no longer there in the form I had previously known them – my husband (was committed to a secure hospital for the manslaughter under diminished responsibility of our daughter, and diagnosed as schizophrenic), my daughter, our home, our car, even our cat Smokey – our relationship was now different as he was ‘adopted’ by an aunt and uncle and was no longer ‘my cat’ as such. Even the non-tangibles – routine and familiarity were now changed.

I no longer felt whole. I and my life were fragmented, with many of the pieces, like a jigsaw, now no longer there. Would I ever wake up one day and my heart not hurt so much? And would I someday feel happy again, and how was it even possible for a human being to shed so many tears? Would I ever become a whole person again and when would it happen – next month, next year, in five, ten years or never? How would I know, how would I feel then?

Feeling my feelings

When I said I didn’t know how to move forward, not necessarily in a practical sense, but in the way I felt and dealt with my feelings, someone suggested to just take each day as it came. It made sense to me. Instinct told me that to survive, I had to go through what I had to go through. I had to feel the feelings I felt. There was no other way if I wanted to remain sane. I would get through this. The calm, matter-of-factly voice had whispered that one time to me. No matter what the other voices said, I needed to hold on to these particular words and the lesson I was learning, that it is best to not ignore feelings (emotional states).

Somehow, we have to find ways to go through them. Sure, we can try to circumvent them, but feelings are pretty tenacious and can be quite slippery. They can sneak back into our minds and bodies and cause us to remain stuck with hurt and grief or to become ill.

One book, gifted to me by a dear friend in 1988, ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’, by the now deceased Susan Jeffers was perhaps the first ‘self-help’ book I devoured as I sought guidance on how to deal with my inner fears and confront and cope with life’s challenges.

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them—that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
~ Lao Tzu

The silent whispers of my mind—my inner wise Sage

It was some years later that I really grasped and understood that my silent whisperer, the one that stood out (and still does) as differing from the other whisperers, was my intuition. This developed during the late ’90’s and early noughties. I became familiar with energy healing (namely Reiki); explored astrology, colour therapy, crystals, tarot and oracle cards; embraced creativity and journaling; and read many more self-help/personal development books. I also gained a better understanding of my personality as an introvert and thus my natural inclination to go within to seek answers and understand the world and my existence within it. Personal development classes with someone I now look back on as a mentor type figure, and also some spiritual development classes also helped to integrate this realisation.

My calm, silent whisperer does not repeat their initial message – they say it once. Sometimes they don’t even speak. I just have a deep sense of ‘knowing’, or some might say, ‘a calling’, a feeling which seems to fill my upper body. This is unlike the everyday mind chatter or internal monologue that goes on in our head. That calm whispered message or deep sense of ‘knowing’ can occur ages before I’m in a position to act on it. This is to the point that as time goes by, I start to question if it really happened because the other voices have started to interfere and jostle to make their point of view known and dissuade me, or life gets in the way.

Trusting the silent whisperer

I trusted the silent whisperer’s message without question a couple of years or so after when I met the person who is my partner now and moved in with him, after being hesitant about sharing a home with someone. Another example is from 2014, when I felt called to track down and contact the woman whose personal development classes I’d attended over 10 years previously. I was pleased that although now retired and not actively marketing her services, she was happy to work on a one-to-one basis with me providing directional support and using guided meditation to reconnect with my inner self.

Follow the tugs that come from the heart. I think that everyone gets these gentle urges and should listen to them. Even if they sound totally insane, they may be worth going with.
~ Victoria Moran

I’ve trusted the messages of the silent whisperer when it has seemed to make sense, but sometimes the scenario that plays out makes little sense. Life has presented me with more challenges and no clear route on that path. I’ve had to learn (AND am still learning) to trust that in time (maybe even many years later), the road would become clear, things fall into place and the initial messages would make sense.

Who am I?

I can’t remember why or how I came to purchase my first deck (Rider Waite). Or the book that I also purchased the year before my 40th birthday and spent many hours studying (Principles of Tarot by Evelyne and Terry Donaldson) still on my quest to discover more about myself and journey towards becoming whole and less fragmented. Evelyne and Terry say that “it is not so much what is ‘in the cards’, as what we ourselves are able to see in them”. Also that ‘the Tarot is really a set of windows through which we can look at life from a different perspective.’ Two of my favourite cards are the High Priestess and Empress – archetypes which I feel represent my inner and outer self.

High Priestess
The High Priestess is the Goddess within. She is the feminine principle, the Yin, the receptive side. She represents the intuition. She shows us the path to realisation is reached by overcoming our own self-doubts, and by listening more trustingly to our own feelings and intuitions.
Empress
The Empress teaches us how to love. It is love that makes our lives unfold and grow. As opposed to the High Priestess, the Empress represents the physical (tangible) world. The Empress is there to show us how we can learn about emotions and feelings through self-expression.
Extracted from the ‘Principles of Tarot’ book

Self-expression and intuition

I feel more whole but keep on growing and becoming even more whole. For a good while, intuitive abstract painting has intrigued me and, a couple of years ago I decided to give it a go. The painting above ‘Floating’ reflects the words of the below quote and combines, for me, the two tarot archetypes:

In this life, your so called ordinary life, you must be rooted; and in your inner space, in the spiritual life, you must be weightless and flying, flowing and floating.
~ Rajneesh

Below is ‘Pink Haze’. She serves as a reminder that our life issues are rarely a monochrome black or white. What is in between those two colours, especially in times of transition, if we learn to listen to our intuition, can inspire and guide us onto a path that is true to who we are being/becoming and to living a life that is wholehearted and authentic.

My experience has shown me it is not always a straightforward path. There may be a circling back, dips, curves, stumbling blocks and so forth as we journey along this path we call life. The truth is, we are all born with intuitive abilities. We use intuition (hear those silent whispers or feel it within our bodies) every day of our lives, some more than others, but often we might be unaware of having done so.

Through perhaps fear, listening to the many voices (inner critic or ego), we ‘rationalise’ or dismiss what we have intuited. It often becomes easier to turn to others for help and guidance. But ultimately—the answers we seek are within us—and we already know what we need to do (even if we think we don’t)—to live life with a mind and soul more wholehearted and less fragmented.

Key book companions along the way

Just a few of the many books that have made an impact on me and my journey:

Feel the Fear (And Do It Anyway)—Susan Jeffers (1987)

The Successful Self (Freeing Our Hidden Inner Strengths)—Dorothy Rowe (1988)

Principles of Tarot—Evelyne and Terry Donaldson (1996)

The Magic Path of Intuition—Florence Scovel Shinn (2013)

The Artists Way—Julia Cameron (1992)

Tune In (Let Your Intuition Guide You to Fulfilment And Flow)—Sonia Choquette (2013) extract free with Spirit and Destiny Magazine

Healing Grief (Reclaiming Life After Any Loss)—James Van Praagh (2000)

Love is in The Earth (A Kaleidoscope of Crystals)—Melody (1995)

I am Diva (Every Woman’s Guide to Outrageous Living)—Elena Bates, Maureen O’Crean, Molly Thompson, Carilyn Vaile (1999)

Inspiration Sandwich (Stories to Inspire our Creative Freedom)—Sark (1992)

About Valerie Lewis

Valerie Lewis is a multipassionate 60plus pro ager. Through grief coaching and personal growth facilitation, she supports and empowers those who are lost and confused with the direction they want to take following a significant life event that has impacted them and their sense of self. Her interests include being an intuitive reader, Reiki and crystals practitioner and avid creative dabbler.

You can connect with Valerie at her website Visualise and Bloom or via Instagram @visualiseandbloom You can also read an interview with Valerie on her transition journey.

Photographs by Valerie Lewis, used with permission and thanks.

Keep in touch

Quiet Writing is on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter so keep in touch and interact with like-minded and kindred souls in the Quiet Writing community. Look forward to connecting with you and inspiring your wholehearted story!

Books self-leadership + leadership

Wholehearted book walkthrough step by step

August 4, 2021

Welcome to a Wholehearted Book Walkthrough. Here I step you through the chapters and journey of reading my book Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition. I also welcome questions via the comments. You can also watch the video on Youtube with subtitles if that is your preference or it’s easier for you. It’s also at the bottom of this post.

When you pre-order Wholehearted, you can get a copy of Chapter 1 so you can begin reading now. This includes the Contents pages and Foreword, an original and a glimpse of the tarot cards that feature in Wholehearted. That way you can get an overview of the reading journey of Wholehearted and what it offers you. After you’ve purchased the book or books, go to the Wholehearted book page. Pop your details in on that page and it will be with you in no time.

Or I’ve popped the forms at the bottom of this post to make it easier for you if you’ve already purchased!

Copy of the book Wholehearted and the Companion Workbook against a sunrise pink background.

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: the high level

You come into Wholehearted with an introduction into the story of transition via a poem, two key tarot cards, the Foreword and the contents pages. From this, you gain an insight into what is coming and get an overview of the Wholehearted reading journey.

The books is in three parts:

Part 1 My Wholehearted Journey – covers Sections 1 to 5 where I share my experiences of making the shift from long-term government employee to a more wholehearted, self-sustaining, creative life. The essence of this transition was about getting back to what is important in the day to day. I explore the positives and challenges of this experience, what helped me and what I learnt over time. Through-out this section and the book I provide practical tips to help you with making positive transitions.

Part 2 Wholehearted Self-leadership Skills – Sections 6 to 8 is where I bring together the Wholehearted Self-leadership skills I’ve learnt on the journey and share them with you to help your own transition and transformation to what is important to you.

Part 3 Bringing it all together – Sections 9 to 10 is where I take a more high-level view of how living a more wholehearted life comes together. I share what I’ve experienced, the markers, what arrives in the wake of transition and the choices we have. This section conveys what self-leadership looks like when you bring the skills together.

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: I My Wholehearted Journey

To step you through in more detail, here’s an overview of what is in Part I My Wholehearted Journey:

Section 1 Beginning the Journey takes you into the heart of my transition journey. I share the key turning point and how this was coming for a long time as big changes often do. There is a tough moment when I knew this transition was really on. I explore how I rebuilt my life step by step via Quiet Writing, blogging, finding a voice and new purpose and the beginning of an alternative path. We look at transition and turning points and how self-leadership became so important in my life and what it offers you.

Section 2 is about Imagining Another Way. I chart the course of the transition in practical terms and the stepping stones and lighthouses that helped in initial stages. This includes looking at the role of hard inner work, showing up for ourselves and how self-talk affects us as we make our journey.

Section 3 Identifying your Passions and What you Love explains how tapping into your passions and uniqueness is a valuable guide to a new life. This is especially important as we re-orient ourselves to living differently.

Section 4 is Identifying your Natural Gifts, Style and Desires. Here we look at your personality preferences and how embracing your natural strengths and gifts is a powerful guide for transition. We look at defining your style and personality in different ways and how tapping into what you desire to feel offers a compass.

Section 5 rounds off Part 1 and focuses on Identifying your Body of Work and Resources Over Time. When making a significant transition, we can often leave pieces of ourselves behind. So it’s vital to look at your body of work and the resources you’ve built up to move forward in ways that are meaningful to you.

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: II Wholehearted Self-leadership Skills

Section 6 is the largest section of the book and the heart of it. Here I walk you through 15 Wholehearted Self-leadership skills that have been pivotal in my transition. I share these skills to support your own change-making and transformation journey. These practices, mindsets and skills are the foundation and backbone of my transition day in, day out.

They include:

6.1 Setting powerful heartfelt intentions
6.2 Writing as daily practice
6.10 Tuning into intuition and listening within

I explain how these practices helped me and why and how I honed them and continue to hone them over time.

Section 7 is about Valuing and Building Influences and Connections. I explore the value of influences and honouring what brought you to this point via five of my creative mentors. These mentors have been an immense influence, particularly in the early stages of my transformation in tough times. I unpack what I learnt from each of them as role models. And I talk about the importance of community and support as we make change. Often this is something we need to do in new ways including online.

Section 8 is Working with the Shadow Side in Becoming Whole. Here we traverse some of the darker, shadowy sides of life and our personality. We look at the less preferred areas of our personality, our weaknesses, our inferior function, grief, unrequited love, envy and comparisonitis. Just as we need light and shade in our gardens, and have the lighter and darker cycles of the moon, we need to embrace ourselves fully. It’s helpful to look at the shadow aspects of our life and personality as a force for good. We learn from them. Making these shadow aspects more conscious is some of the most powerfully transformative whole-making work we can do.

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: III Bringing it all together

Part III is where we bring it all together.

Chapter 9 looks at Guides for the Wholehearted Path and two key aspects: synchronicity and grounding in the practical and every day.

Chapter 10 is the final chapter and looks at Self-leadership and Love as the heart of Wholeheartedness. It looks particularly at the role of choice and love in our wholehearted self-leadership journey.

There is a wealth of information and resources in the end matter too, with extensive endnotes and key references for further reading and exploration.

Wholehearted Companion Workbook

The Wholehearted Companion Workbook tracks along each of the chapters of the book, providing further application and examples. It provides the opportunity to apply the learning to your own circumstances in a supported self-coaching way. I also share more about my own experiences as an example to help prompt your own thinking.

I hope this walk through of Wholehearted helps you to see the rich reading and transformation experience that awaits.

Head over to the advance praise for Wholehearted from early readers as another insight to the reading experience the book offers.

Links to pre-order Wholehearted are on on my website. You can purchase Wholehearted at Booktopia, Amazon (all territories), Kobo, Apple iBooks, indiebound.org and Bookshop.org. Both books are available at discounted pre-order prices in paperback and ebook!

Once you’ve pre-ordered, don’t forget to come back and add your details to get Chapter 1. You can also join me for a live Masterclass on the 15 Wholehearted Self-leadership skills if you pre-order two or more books. You can do this below.

I hope that’s helpful! Thanks for reading and/or watching and listening. Welcome any further questions or comments!

Thank you for joining me on this Wholehearted journey. I hope the books can support you on your self-leadership transition journey to a more wholehearted and fulfilling life. Whatever that means for you!

Wholehearted Book Walkthrough on video with subtitles

Here’s the video with subtitles if you want to watch:

Here is the form to complete to get Chapter 1 if you’ve already purchased one book:

Here is the form to complete to get Chapter 1 now + an invitation to a live Masterclass on ’15 Wholehearted Self-leadership Skills to Change your Life’ if you’ve purchased 2 or more books:

transition work life

6 tips to transition from consistent, unexciting work

July 30, 2021

I shared a Wholehearted Q&A chat on Instagram live recently and asked for questions about the book, transition and self-leadership.

This fabulous question came in from Esther via Instagram:

What advice would you give to someone too scared to leave the consistency of working for the government but knowing they are no longer excited or challenged by the work anymore?

Such an excellent question! Thank you Esther. It went straight to my heart. I worked in government as a teacher and leader in the vocational education sector for 30 plus years, so I know intimately the feeling you are expressing. And I am sure it is something many women ponder as they contemplate the tension between ‘safe’ and consistent work and not feeling fulfilled by unexciting work. It certainly brings up fear and trepidation!

You can watch my live as I answer the question here (video also below at the end of this post) or read my response below. Or both! And I welcome your comments or questions too if you have experienced this situation or are experiencing it now.

I’m hearing in this question the desire for change, but also valuing the security and ongoing employment offered. It’s a very real tension and one that can keep us stuck as we work out the best way to move. But if we can make a plan to move on to better things, it can make all the difference to our mindset!

Here are 6 tips for changing from consistent but unexciting work!

1. Look at your why

A starting point would be to look at WHY you are no longer challenged or excited in the organisation or role you are in.

Journal about this to see what comes up. Is it because, for example:

you are no longer aligned to the organisation.
it’s boring and not stretching you in the role you are in.
you wish to be doing something completely different.
you have long-held creative yearnings that you want to fill.
something else?

This will help you with the next step of looking at options.

2. Look at your options

If no longer challenged or excited by your work role now, brainstorm and make a list of options open to you. Self-leadership is all about exploring options and choices. Then actively pursuing what you feel is right for you with intention. Some of your options might be:

seeking new opportunities within the organisation you work for.
seeking opportunities like secondment in another government organisation or a project role where you can feel more excitement and challenge.
starting a consultancy on the side or another sort of side-hustle around a passion or something you’ve always wanted to do.
seek opportunities for space to consider options, for example: working part time, job-sharing, taking leave, working four days a week or a nine-day fortnight.
look at the skills you have, your body of work over time and where this might take you next.

Often we see our situations and options as binary and either/or, but there are frequently many choices. The transition to what you desire might involve a series of choices that take you there, one step at a time. It might not be one gigantic leap even though that may feel like the most desirable option. Deep transition takes time and is often incremental.

3. Get a vision of what life might be like

To get a vision of what life might look like in the future, write about what your ideal day might look like in a few years’ time. This simple but powerful activity helps to get to what is in your heart and what would help you feel fulfilled and happy. Often it’s simpler than we think and this activity helps us to see where we are already on the way.

A vision board or collage is another way to do this if you are more visual. You could start a Pinterest Board and gather images of what your new life might look like to see what themes emerge and what you are seeking through change. This process helps us to tap into what is beneath the surface of our consciousness, trying to break through.

4. Take inventory

When you want change or are not happy where you are, it is easy to dwell on what you don’t have. It’s helpful and grounding therefore to look at what you have and see how you can deploy these resources more effectively.

Areas to take stock of include:

skills you have, your body of work
skills you want to develop
resources, including financial resources
financial options
potential income sources
superannuation
leave
investment strategies
where you could cut back

Part of the fear of leaving a government job (and often other employment) is letting go of the security, the regular pay and the conditions. They are familiar and regular and it is not a decision to be made lightly. If you wish to leave, look at what you have to help you make a shift and how you might supplement or replace the income. Look at living differently, having fewer expenses, making income creatively.

5. Check your mindset – look at the fears

It’s very natural to feel fear as we make change, even if it is a change we deeply want.

An important distinction is this.

CHANGE is external – what happens to us, also what we choose to change or start.

TRANSITION is internal – how we plan, adjust, prepare, ground ourselves and our mindset as we do this.

The inner work of transition, even from unexciting work, includes looking at the fears, self-limiting beliefs and self-doubt that typically arise in times of change. Managing the internal aspects of transition strengthens our ability to negotiate change positively with self-knowledge.

If feeling scared, have a good look at your fears. Make a list of what scares you. Get it down on paper. Identify the false, overstated or imagined fears, then identify the ones that are genuine concerns. Once you have these identified, use all the tips here to work out how to address these fears in practical terms.

6. Get support

Significant transition takes time. It feels like your very identity is in the mix even if the unexciting work is making you unhappy. Often you feel alone, lost and uncertain at such times. You need support! Get a coach – I would love to support you if you are going through transition times in a 1:1 capacity as your coach. Working with a coach helped me immensely as I went through my transition journey, and I still work with coaches all the time to keep growing and focused. A group coaching program like the Sacred Creative Collective can also be an option if you want support and connection with others while going through change.

Head to Work with me to learn how you can work with me as your coach. First step is a free Self-leadership Discovery Call so we can connect and have a conversation about your challenges and desires and where I might help. You can book that free, no obligation call HERE.

So summing up, here are my 6 tips for transitioning from consistent but unexciting work:

Look at your why – so you can get some context and a starting point.
Look at options – so you can widen your scope of action.
Get a vision of what life might be like – see what you might really want.
Take inventory – look at the resources you have for a new life.
Check your mindset – look at fears and interrogate them.
Get support – via a coach and community to help you negotiate the changes positively.

Watch the video here to review:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Terri Connellan (@writingquietly)

Knowing it’s time to make a plan for a transition

If you know in your heart you’ve had enough of this unexciting work and need to move on. Or there’s been a turning point event in your life that has clearly said, ‘I no longer belong here’, then making a transition plan using the above tips is helpful.

Another resource for you is to strengthen your self-leadership skills is my book, Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition. It is full of practical strategies to help you with self-leadership if you are going through change or wanting something different. Plus the experience of reading the book and working through the workbook is a deep self-leadership and self-coaching experience.

You can pre-order Wholehearted and the Companion Workbook now to help you navigate times of transition. The books will be with you on 6 September. In the meantime, I’ll send you a free pdf of Chapter 1 so you can start reading now.

Plus, if you purchase 2 books, Wholehearted and/or the Companion Workbook, you can join me for a live Masterclass on ‘15 Wholehearted Self-leadership Skill to Change your Life’ where I’ll walk you through these strategies and answer questions.

So click below to find out more about the books. All the links to pre-order the paperback and ebook versions worldwide via different booksellers are there.

Learn more about Wholehearted

How to tap into the power of emerging at midlife

Create Your Deeper Story 1 to 1 Coaching

Stories of Wholehearted Living

Sacred Creative Collective Group Coaching

Cora Pacheco – Sacred Creative Stories of Transition

Your body of work: the greatest gift for transition to a bright new life

Image credits:

Feature image: Photo by Siddharth Bhogra on Unsplash

Vision board image: Photo by Andy Art on Unsplash

Laptop image: Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash

transition writing

Celebrating ‘Wholehearted’ publishing partnership with the kind press

January 31, 2021

I am celebrating publishing Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition and the Wholehearted Companion Workbook in partnership with the kind press in 2021.

The kind press is an independent Australian-based publisher. They work with authors ‘to create high-quality, stylish, books that are diverting, inspiring, spirited and clever.’

Working in partnership with the kind press is the perfect fit. They have a focus on sacred cocreation. This is so in line with the Sacred Creative Collective and Quiet Writing values and my desire to be an independently published author. It is a brilliant, assisted way to publish and learn more about writing and publishing from those who are expert in the field.

My sincere thanks to Natasha Gilmour—editor, publisher and founder of the kind press —and all at the kind press for all the support and guidance in shaping Wholehearted and its Companion Workbook for publication. Huge thanks too to my editor and friend, Penelope Love, for all her valued assistance with editing and nurturing support throughout the wholehearted publishing process! You might remember Penelope’s Wholehearted Story from 2018.

I can’t wait for the next steps and I hope you will all come along for the continuing journey! We are currently working on the cover design which is very exciting so stay tuned for the cover reveal.

The publishing announcement is below:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by the kind press (@the_kind_press)

Let me know any questions you might have about the writing and the Wholehearted publishing process and my own journey!

Write your book with me

I am also offering a Write Your Book group coaching program later in 2021 in case you are interested in support, camaraderie and skills for your own writing projects. Because I can tell you it takes a community to write a book and bring it to fruition and we all need that support. Here for you if that is on your plan for 2021. Head over to pop your name on the WRITE YOUR BOOK PRIORITY LIST to be the first to hear more.

About the author + coach

Terri Connellan is a certified life coach, author and accredited psychological type practitioner. She has a Master of Arts in Language and Literacy, two teaching qualifications and a successful 30-year career as a teacher and a leader in adult vocational education. Her coaching and writing focus on creativity, personality and self-leadership—especially for women in transition to a life with deeper purpose. Terri works with women globally through her creative business, Quiet Writing, encouraging deeper self-understanding of body of work, creativity and psychological type for more wholehearted and fulfilling lives. Her book ‘Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition’ will be published in 2021 by the kind press. She lives and writes in a village on the outskirts of Sydney surrounded by beach and bush.

Book your Self-leadership Discovery Call with Terri here.

Explore your personality further in Personality Stories Coaching.

Connect on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter & LinkedIn.

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wholehearted stories writing

Writing the way through – a wholehearted story

September 27, 2019

In this guest post, Sally Morgan shares her experience of writing the way through cycles and seasons to a wholehearted life.

This is the 22nd guest post in our Wholehearted Stories series on Quiet Writing! I invited readers to consider submitting a guest post on their wholehearted story. You can read more here – and I’m still keen for more contributors!

I’m delighted to have Sally Morgan as a ‘Wholehearted Stories’ contributor. Sally and I met via Instagram and shared interests in creativity and writing. In this story, Sally shares how her writing practice has been a tool, process, support and safe place for stepping into wholehearted living. Read on!

Moving into writing

It’s a late-summer morning, still early, and I’m sitting on my patio writing. There’s a comforting weight to my journal, open on my lap, and my pen moves quickly across the page. I’m lost in the writing. This is how I start most days, with Morning Pages, writing at least three pages in longhand. It’s a process I’ve come to trust and value, a meditation of sorts.

It’s still cool on the patio this morning. There’s a hint of a breeze and a faint scent of the ocean. But the sky is a deep blue and the sun, when it filters through the trees, is already warm. I write it all down. The deep green of the cedars lit by early-morning sun. The rich aroma of my morning coffee. The tok-tok-tok of a raven watching me somewhere in the trees. This noticing grounds me, helps me move fully into the writing.

Reminders of cycles

It’s lush out in my backyard, still green, despite the lack of rain. The cedars and firs tower overhead, shading salal and sword ferns and an almost accidental patch of lawn. It’s a wild and unruly space, a perfect place for writing. As I write, I notice that the ferns are a deeper, duskier shade now; they’ve lost their springtime sheen and brightness. Behind them, the creamy blooms of the ocean spray bushes have dried to deep golden, dying away for another year. And now, all around me, I see descent. Dying off. The inevitability of fall. This reminder of cycles.

There was a time when I was less attuned to these subtle signs, when the weeks dropped away until suddenly the holidays were over and it was September. But my writing practice has given me a deeper sensing of the seasons. I watch for the first pale sword-fern stems poking up in spring, the clutched spirals slowly unfurling into bright green fronds. I notice as the fronds take on that darker, dustier hue as summer progresses, how the outer fronds brown and then die off into September. It’s one small way I’m more deeply attuned to the seasons and to the cyclical nature of our lives.

Being aware of seasons

As I write this, I am nearing the end of a short season of rest after a long, full season of houseguests and parties and important celebrations. I’ve become more aware of these seasons and of how I can best embrace each one. During the season of houseguests, I was able to throw myself fully into the fray, into visiting and day trips and shocking quantities of wine. I knew there would be time for rest when our company was gone. There would be time to slow down and step away, time again to drink water. When I am journalling, I am in tune with these cycles in my life, and I can give myself permission to fully embrace what is.

I’ve also come to understand that there are other, overlapping kinds of seasons. After three years of writing nearly non-stop and under deadline at work, I’m not writing much for myself at the moment. There was a time when I would have felt panicked by this, but not now. Now I recognize the bigger patterns, the pushing and then the need for rest. The immersion and the need for time away.

Writing as a safe place

I haven’t always written Morning Pages. I came first to a journalling practice more than twelve years ago, as a way to save myself. In June of that year, my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. In September, my then-husband announced he was leaving our marriage. I had to write. I was compelled to write, and in that time period, I wrote as if my life depended on it. I hadn’t read Julia Cameron at that point, and I suspect that The Artist’s Way was not the book I needed in that season. But I knew Natalie Goldberg’s book Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within and I followed the rules she laid out in the book: Keep your hand moving. Lose control. Go for the jugular. They were rules that served me well as my life spiralled out of control.

In that season I fell apart. I clung to my friends and to my three little boys like a woman drowning. My journals were filled with disbelief and grief and anger. But in those journals, I found a safe place to descend into despair, a place where I could immerse myself and fully experience my sadness. It was a painful and necessary period in my life. A descent and a dying.

Healing and inner wisdom

And then in late spring, I began to notice the first pale stems of healing. The slow unfurling of hope. The first tentative steps as I began putting myself back together. It was a slow process, and cyclical, one that has taken many years. In that spring, I began to see the learning I needed to take from my experience. I began to see the possibility on the other side of divorce, and to craft a new vision for myself and my little family. For the first time, I sensed freedom and felt hope. There was still much to face – the legal separation, my father’s impending death – but I was beginning to trust my strength and my resilience.

And I was beginning to trust my inner wisdom. By that point, I’d filled a number of journals, and somewhere along the way, a calm, loving voice had appeared in my writing, a voice far wiser than mine. You’re going to be okay, it told me. Your boys are going to be okay. As I wrote, I began listening for that voice, actually asking for guidance. What am I meant to be learning here? What do I need to remember as I move forward? Will I really be okay?

Writing the way through

Just about the time that I was getting back on my feet after the separation, my dad died. In many ways, this was a greater loss for me than my marriage and I expected that my journal would once again be my refuge. But I was shocked to find that I couldn’t write about my dad. I wrote about my concerns for my boys and for my mum, and about all sorts of other tangential things, but my sadness was too deep. Suddenly though, poems began flowing out of me. I’d never really written poetry before in my life, but I think that because I’d been writing so consistently, I was able to connect with an intuitive, deeply emotional part of myself in a period when there was no logical way to approach or express my grief. Again I cycled into descent, and again, I wrote my way out.

In the years since, I’ve fully committed to the practice of journalling, recognizing that it is the most effective way for me make meaning of my experience and – eventually – to grow from it. I’ve written through further heartbreak, through further challenges, and through the many transitions and seasons of my life. Journalling has also helped me to trust my writing voice enough to follow other creative urges, and I’ve continued to write poetry, as well as a couple of unpublished novels, a blog, and a self-published memoir.

Trusting in writing practice

The greatest gift of my journalling practice, though, came during a three-year period when I lost my speaking voice. During that time, I could only talk in a breathless, squeaky little whisper, making most of my daily interactions difficult if not impossible. In that frightening time, as I underwent scores of tests to figure out what was wrong with me, my journal was the place where, if I listened to my wisest self, I could write myself off the edge. It was also the place where I figured out the self-care practices and boundaries I needed in my life to prevent this from happening again. And, of course, it was the one place in my life where I could trust in my voice. Even though my speaking voice was unreliable, I could trust in my writing and in my writing practice.

Over the years, my faith in this practice has deepened to a place where beginning a new journal is a sacred act. I use the first few pages to record gentle reminders about what I need to be my healthiest self, things like stillness, solitude, and self-compassion. I also have a list of what matters most, because for me it’s easy to overcommit. Finally, I include quotes to guide me and reminders from the previous journal. In my current journal, I’ve written, I can trust in my knowing and my inner wisdom. I do not need to seek every answer outside myself.

Writing into a new season

My practice has also evolved. I no longer worry about keeping my pen moving. I write more slowly and thoughtfully, and I make time every day for gratitude and for that wise, loving voice that is always there if I listen for it. But I still write nearly every day, trusting that this practice is one of the great gifts in my life.

I’m heading into a new season now, one that will be both busy and marked by a significant transition, as my middle son embarks on a months-long overseas adventure. I know that I will have moments (maybe days) of sadness and fear and uncertainty. But I also know that I will find solace in my journal. And so, while the weather holds, I’ll find my way out to the patio, journal and coffee in hand. I’ll notice the air as it cools, listen for the first of the autumn birds, and watch for the other small markers of fall. I’ll write into the fall, through the descent into winter. I’ll write about my dark moments and the light, trusting by now that I can write my way through practically anything.

Key book companions along the way

The Light of the World: A Memoir – Elizabeth Alexander

The Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times – Pema Chodron

The Blue Hour of the Day: Selected Poems – Lorna Crozier

Eat Pray Love – Elizabeth Gilbert

Old Friend from Far Away: The Practice of Writing Memoir – Natalie Goldberg

Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within – Natalie Goldberg

This is the Story of a Happy Marriage – Ann Patchett

Journal of a Solitude – May Sarton

Still Writing: The Pleasures and Perils of a Creative Life – Dani Shapiro

About Sally Morgan

Sally is a writer, teacher and mama. She’s on a journey to live a less driven and over-committed life, and to invite more contentment, grace and beauty into her everyday. She’s currently preoccupied with voice, purpose and slowing down.

In her forties, Sally spent a couple of years speed-dating her way through half the men in Victoria, BC. Her memoir, An Alphabet of Men: Dating My Way from Adam to Zak recounts that time in her life. Occasionally she posts to her blog, at www.trustingthejourney.ca. You can connect with Sally on Instagram

Photographs by Sally Morgan, used with permission and thanks.

Keep in touch

Quiet Writing is on Facebook Instagram and Twitter so keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. Look forward to connecting with you and inspiring your wholehearted story!

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Show Notes

Transcript of podcast

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The Silent Whispers of my Mind – Journeying from fragmented to wholehearted

Life can be scary

A fragmented life

Feeling my feelings

The silent whispers of my mind—my inner wise Sage

Trusting the silent whisperer

Who am I?

Self-expression and intuition

Key book companions along the way

About Valerie Lewis

Read more Wholehearted Stories

Keep in touch

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Wholehearted Book walkthrough: the high level

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: I My Wholehearted Journey

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: II Wholehearted Self-leadership Skills

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: III Bringing it all together

Wholehearted Companion Workbook

Wholehearted Book Walkthrough on video with subtitles

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What advice would you give to someone too scared to leave the consistency of working for the government but knowing they are no longer excited or challenged by the work anymore?

Here are 6 tips for changing from consistent but unexciting work!

1. Look at your why

2. Look at your options

3. Get a vision of what life might be like

4. Take inventory

5. Check your mindset – look at the fears

6. Get support

So summing up, here are my 6 tips for transitioning from consistent but unexciting work:

Watch the video here to review:

Knowing it’s time to make a plan for a transition

Read more:

Share this:

Like this:

Write your book with me

About the author + coach

Share this:

Like this:

Moving into writing

Reminders of cycles

Being aware of seasons

Writing as a safe place

Healing and inner wisdom

Writing the way through

Trusting in writing practice

Writing into a new season

Key book companions along the way

About Sally Morgan

Read more Wholehearted Stories

Keep in touch

Share this:

Like this:

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