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Become a Life Coach + live your change

September 21, 2018

You must be the change you wish to be in the world.

Mahatma Gandhi

become a life coach

I’m excited to share my journey to become a life coach with the Beautiful You Coaching Academy + opportunities if you also want to become a life coach!

As a certified life coach, affiliate and ambassador for the Beautiful You Coaching Academy, I am truly delighted to share my experiences with you.

My key message is to be the change you wish to be.

Truly live it! And a fabulous pathway to this is to embark on the personal development journey to become a life coach. In this way, you can support the growth of others, as you beautifully enhance your own.

becoming a life coach

My journey to become a coach

It’s hard to believe it’s more than two years since I started on the Beautiful You Coaching Academy Life Coaching course journey. I remember receiving my learning resources with the most gorgeous, handwritten welcome note from lead trainer and CEO, Julie Parker.

I identified becoming a life coach as a key part of my transition from 30-plus years as a teacher and leader in the adult vocational education sector.  For a long time, I’d yearned for more freedom and time for creativity, especially to write the books I desired to write.

I had already started to make a plan to leave and start a new life. But a particular incident at work one day was like a kick in the guts, accelerating my transition journey. A message delivered in a meeting left me stunned, staring at the blue sky outside, unable to participate any further. It left me reeling. In essence, it was saying that after all I had invested in the organisation, I was no longer valued. I cried all the way home and hardly slept for days. Unable to work the following week, I spent days recovering. In that time, I began to plan my new future.

The first thing I did the morning after the incident was reach out to my friend, Victoria, who was a life coach. Feeling very raw, I asked her to help me chart a course to create a new life. Soon after, I started coaching with Victoria, then began part-time job-share arrangements at work to make space for transition. Before too long, it became clear that a new life plan was not a choice, it was a necessity. Redundancy was imminent – the organisation was also headed in different directions and I truly was not valued.

Fast forward to now

Since that time, I completed the Beautiful You Life Coaching course and honed my life coaching skills through a series of deep engagements with clients. Building on my skills as a teacher and leader, I’m now a practising Certified Life Coach focused on creativity and self-leadership, especially for women in transition. Women who are undergoing experiences like I have been through. I am an accredited Personality Type assessor and practitioner, as well as a writer and intuitive tarot reader. These are all skills I chose to learn or deepen as I went on this journey – my passions and loves.

Life coaching is linked to writing and teaching as key aspects of my life. Writing is my creative focus and raison d’être, but teaching and supporting people to reach their potential is also what I have engaged in deeply through-out my work life. I’ve been a coach and mentor in the workplace and worked with coaches in the workplace as a leader. So when the time came to leave my job, my transition plan had writing and coaching as two core elements complementing each other.

Becoming a life coach became a key pillar of this plan for a new life. It’s a skill and personal journey you can integrate with many other life skills and passions as you seek to shape a new life and be of service to others.

Working with life coaches + life transition

I can’t say enough about the value of being a life coach and working with life coaches to support you on key transition journeys. Working with coaches has been a key support along this two-year transition journey, helping me to make meaning. My coach, Victoria, helped me start my journey at that very tender time when I knew I had to make plans to leave. As well, on the coaching journey with Beautiful You, every trainee has the opportunity to buddy coach with a fellow trainee. Below is a picture of me (on the left) with my gorgeous and inspiring coaching buddy, Jeanette. We shared powerful and supportive learning and coaching experiences as we mutually embarked on this adventure.

becoming a life coach
Photo credit Emma Louise Newby @emmalouisenewby

My coaching needs focused on strength and self-care as I was also supporting my mother who was very unwell with cancer. Sadly, she passed away at the end of last year after a very difficult time. I focused on making sure my self-care and wellness strategies were in place when life was tough. When I was caring for another just as I was making a major life transition.

Now, I am much healthier and stronger, swimming in the ocean a few times a week and back to yoga after a break. I also worked with a certified Beautiful You coach on my writing to make sure it was a priority on this journey. I went on a writing and yoga retreat in beautiful Hoi An, Vietnam.

After two years on this journey, working with a number of coaches, studying with Beautiful You, becoming a Personality Type practitioner and establishing both my coaching and writing practice, life looks very different. I’d like to help you make life look different too – so read on!

become a life coach

Why become a life coach?

Life coaching is an incredible support as we move through times of change and make a path to achieve our goals. Especially those long term goals we have held very close. Life coaching and the support and community of coaches is simply part of how I make meaning in life now.

It is especially powerful at times of major transition and creativity like: experiencing redundancy, not wanting to stay where you are, starting a business around your passions, writing a book or seeking more creative life options.

I struggled as I wrote this piece to separate out the journey to become a life coach from the fabulous support and experience that life coaching has afforded me. They are in essence all part of the same journey. It becomes a skill you learn but also a mindset you live. My learning to become a coach coincided with other deep life experiences that involved holding space for others at critical times. My skills as a life coach helped me navigate those times with self-leadership and strength.

Some of the reasons to become a life coach are that it is:

  • something you can do from anywhere, a flexible skill that is infinitely portable.
  • work that you can dial up and down, in combination with other life priorities and work streams.
  • a skill that integrates with other life passions: Life coaches work in all kinds of niches reflecting their uniqueness.
  • a rich and ongoing journey of personal development.
  • a way to connect with other like-minded people interested in self-development and deep connection.
  • focused on being in service, using your skills, knowledge and experience to support others.
  • a rich skill-set for all of life: mindfulness, listening, asking questions, holding space, supporting, encouraging and cheering others on.

Why Beautiful You Coaching Academy?

As a graduate, affiliate and ambassador for the Beautiful You Coaching Academy, I wholeheartedly recommend the Academy’s Life Coaching Course. The many positives of the program and experience include:

  • solid theory and practice, well-structured and professionally managed with the ability to study online from across the world;
  • exceptional leadership and teaching via CEO and lead trainer Julie Parker and her team, all skilled, successful and experienced life coaches;
  • a rich, diverse, supportive and welcoming community of coaches within the Beautiful You network;
  • the ability to learn how to build and grow your own coaching business you can operate from anywhere in the world and with a global reach;
  • an academy that supports and promotes the work of its coaches, providing opportunities to shine and extend;
  • the opportunity to pursue a certified coach pathway; and
  • making many new deep friendships and connections across the world via a common interest in personal growth.
become a life coach

Become a life coach with my support

So, I am so excited to be offering a number of coaching opportunities for you to become a coach as an affiliate of the Beautiful You Coaching Academy.

Firstly, if you know you would like to sign up for the first Beautiful You Coaching Course in 2020, don’t delay. It’s 80% full already and places fill quickly.

As an affiliate, I endorse the course and receive an affiliate payment for providing this recommendation. You have no additional costs in enrolling and there is an exciting benefit for you as well!

You can read further below about the opportunity to work with me also for a 6-session coaching series at no cost to you as well.

You can find out more about the course at the Beautiful You Coaching Academy website here.

Importantly, if you wish to access the 6-session coaching session with me at no cost to you, make sure when you complete the order form to enrol in the course, that you enter MY NAME – TERRI CONNELLAN – (first and last) in the CODE field of the order page. This will link you to me and my offer. So easy!

Important Note: If you enter my name in any other area than the one instructed, (which is the code field at your enrolment stage – please see graphic below), or not at all at the exact time of your enrolment, you will not be able to receive my affiliate offerings. This is not something that can be amended at a later time and so please be careful at your sign up stage to do this as I want to be able to support you on your coaching journey!

become a coach

Thanks to @annamarialocke for this image!

Create Your Deeper Story life coaching series

So more on my offer!

In choosing to become a life coach with Beautiful You, I would love to offer you the opportunity to work with me as your coach! This is via a ‘Create Your Deeper Story’ Coaching series of 6 sessions over a 3 month period on areas important to you and your life path. Just remember to email Beautiful You with my name BEFORE you enrol.

The value of this investment in your future for this life-changing series is $330AU per month, a total of $990AU over 3 months. But it will provided at no cost to you. You only need to make sure you enter my name at the CODE field in the Course Order/enrolment form (as above) and remain in study to the end of the refund period.

The ‘Create Your Deeper Story’ Coaching series helps you identify where you want to be and how to get there in very practical goal and action-oriented steps. One step at a time with wholehearted, grounded support and practicality.  I focus on creativity and self-leadership coaching but you let me know exactly where you want to focus! It’s your story. Skilled in personality type assessment, I weave personality type knowledge deep into my coaching and offer special deep-dives into this area as a separate opportunity.

As a Certified Life Coach with Beautiful You, I can help you with your own pathway towards certification as a life coach with the Academy. A six-session coaching series with me can count towards your own certification pathway as well.

Where to contact me:

So I hope you are excited by what all of this means for you!

To become a Life Coach, you can enrol straight away via the Beautiful You Coaching Academy Course Page (make sure you include my name on the form as above!) or you can contact me if you have any questions:

I would love to support you to become a life coach and to work with you!

Please feel free to share with anyone who you think might benefit from this opportunity.

Keep in touch

Quiet Writing is on Facebook – Please visit here and ‘Like’ to keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. There are regular posts on coaching, books, tarot, intuition, influence, passion, creativity, productivity, writing, voice, introversion and personality type.

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If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

You might also enjoy:

Life Coaching – making meaning in times of transition

How I fulfilled my vision to become a Personality Type Coach

Your body of work: the greatest gift of transition to a bright new life

Coaching goals and the value of being a healthy creative

Shining a quiet light: working the gifts of introversion

20 practical ways of showing up and being brave and helpful

Creative practices in my tool-kit

wholehearted stories writing

The journey to write here—my wholehearted story

August 30, 2018

This guest post from Penelope Love explores how following our deepest calling as writers can shape the journey of our wholehearted stories.

journey to write here

Write at home, Asheville, 2018

This is the twelfth guest post in our Wholehearted Stories series on Quiet Writing! I invited readers to consider submitting a guest post on their wholehearted story. You can read more here – and I’m still keen for more contributors! 

Quiet Writing celebrates self-leadership in wholehearted living and writing, career and creativity. This community of voices, with each of us telling our own story of what wholehearted living means, is a valuable and central part of this space. In this way, we can all feel connected on our various journeys and not feel so alone. Whilst there will always be unique differences, there are commonalities that we can all learn from and share to support each other.

I am honoured to have my friend Penelope Love as a ‘Wholehearted Stories’ contributor. Penelope explores writing as a deep calling shaping her journey over time. She describes how her writing life has intersected with love and spirituality as key themes in her life. My sincere thanks to Penelope for sharing her personal story and photographs as well as the books and vital practices that have influenced her journey. With her new book – a memoir, ‘Wake Up in Love: From Sex and Romance to the Ultimate Understanding’ – imminent, read Penelope’s reflections on knowing your calling, writing and love to guide your story!

Beginning my journey to write here

To write or not to write was never the question.

My love for writing was born of sheer enchantment with the dance of my elfin fingers and a No. 2 pencil pressed against the bumpy margins of a newspaper left strewn across the kitchen table. Whilst my mother washed dishes, I perfected my letters… slowly, slowly carving out my name. I tingled as the life force pierced my body and brain. Waving a pink-tipped golden wand, I witnessed the alphabet come to life before me… oh, t’was magical!

A rainbow of writing accolades soon spanned my horizon. As early as my elementary years, the parents and relatives branded me “the writer in the family,” their New York accents spinning legends of a little girl who would traject this gift across the world.

As I approached high school graduation, my father often spoke of his friend’s daughter who made a living as a writer. In fact, she earned six figures and was even flown around the globe with her happy pen in hand. Imagine that! I did indeed—first-class flights to Rome, Paris, Strasbourg, Johannesburg, Tokyo, Perth, and Calgary, not to mention being lavished with more money than one could ever need, just because a girl could write?!

Write about what? 

journey to write here

Write in the clouds, 2017

Write about what? I didn’t know, but the question of her subject matter never crossed my thirsty teenage mind. I just wanted her life in the azure sky, miles above the clouds and close to the shimmering sun. In no time, I’d be like her—rich, self-sufficient, and far away from people who expected miracles from me.

It was the mid-1990s when I entered the university with a typewriter in hand and later departed with a laptop bag draped over my shoulder. In four short years, the new-fangled digital tools of the trade had literally changed our world and most importantly for me, the way this English major now wrote. Possessing a “delete” key, I lost countless writings to self-doubt, and even more to lack of remembering to hit Control + S. The fluorescent palette of Windows 95 proved a more addictive drug for a perfectionist than any erasable pen. It was too easy to tweak e-scribblings that never seemed quite good enough. The brave new world was now here and I was not sure I wanted to be a writer anymore.

Despite my uncertainty, I could not shake my writer crush on Alice Walker—her novels, poetry, essays, activism and how she effortlessly transformed rage into beauty that inspired social change through her poignant words. With this level of mastery as my barometer, I pursued a master’s degree in English, though to expand my career opportunities I eventually phased over to the college of journalism. Focused first and foremost on getting “published,” writing seemed far from the mystical endeavor I’d fallen in love with as a child.

Then it happened. As I formulated my thesis, I discovered that I no longer enjoyed writing. Yet I sure was in love with the professors who taught it. To my chagrin, my finest writings never extended into the realms of passion I fantasized about. Writing? Huh. Why expose my soul before teachers who just left my heart bleeding overnight while they went home to their lives, of which I had none? Why torture myself when I was deft enough at this craft to instruct others on how to do it? Why write if I could swap my black pen for a red one and wear silky scarves and blouses, sexy skirts, stilettos, and tortoise-shell glasses? I mean, why write if I could be an editor!

Writer in hiding

journey to write here

Writer in reflection, 2018

By the late ‘90s, the U.S. economy had exploded during the .com craze—so much in fact that some corporations were even paying the lowly interns—yes, me! Here my lucky star landed me an editorial apprenticeship in the personal finance and lifestyle department of the prestigious Bankrate.com. I had recently married a business student and I was acquiring a taste for the freedom that came with earning my own paycheck. I was not flying high yet, but I’d circumnavigated my existence as a puppet dangled by parents who had kept me mostly in the dark about all things financial. As fate and good fortune would have it, my Bankrate internship enriched me with both income and invaluable knowledge.

Following graduation, my then-husband and I moved north to pursue our dreams of working in the Big Apple—Manhattan! I dressed the part and perhaps imagined that even the pigeons stared as I sauntered down Fifth Avenue as an editorial assistant. Within three weeks the Twin Towers came crashing down, along with my fantasies about commuting to the city and wielding my editorial prowess in New York. Since I was actually residing in safer haven of nearby Princeton, New Jersey, I stayed put and soared up the corporate ladder, so high that I didn’t even bother keeping a diary over the next five years. Too busy had I become for my own words when so many people were counting on me to perfect theirs.

Falling back in love with writing

When life led me back to Florida in 2003, it was the stress of destructive family dynamics and an impending divorce that led me to an Al-Anon meeting, where the facilitator urged me to crack open my journal again. She was right—I needed to know if I could still hear my own voice beneath the deafening volume of all the mental noise I’d let in over the years. The higher up the corporate ladder I scaled, the more it felt tilted 180 degrees away from the happiness, inner peace and deep healing I desired more than anything in the world.

journey to write here

Dear Emptiness, 2003

This may sound fantastical but when I re-opened my diary, her empty lines smiled as if happy to see me, their old friend. She embraced my every tear, question, and hopeful new conception of reality bubbling up from my long-silenced heart. I confess, my journal entries reflected the soul of a woman consumed by primal desires for true love and red hot sex. Yet as I returned to the joys of pressing my pen to paper, I experienced an inkling of falling back in love with writing.

The proper care and feeding of writers

Loving a man and loving writing were ultimately not two separate things, although I’d fallen into a discordant thought-pattern of either-or:

Either I could pursue my writing career or I could care for a man, but not both.

Such a black-and-white attitude sounds imprudently restrictive now, but this worldview was branded into the layers of my soul since birth. My mother lived as if it were her sole responsibility to care for my father and for us children. The notion that I could gallivant about the globe as a writer—although it had been dangled before me like candy—conflicted with other familial attitudes I was forced to swallow regarding about “the proper care and feeding of husbands.” Could I ever balance true love, a nourishing sex life, and a successful writing career? This clash of seemingly incompatible desires and my utter lack of control to manifest them catapulted me onto the spiritual path with full surrender.

It was 2004 and the spiritual teacher to whom I was led was a jnani in the lineage of Ramana Maharshi. Nick Gancitano disseminated Self-Inquiry as the spiritual director of an ashram in Florida, where I attended Satsang for the first time. My earnest desire for inner peace was met with a revelation of karmic destiny, as Nick became my lover and we were married within two weeks of our first meeting. Our sex life unfolded as an intuitive exploration of the ancient ways of Tantra. Here I found that with an authentic state of surrender, true love was not only possible—it was inevitable, transforming sex into a meditation that trumped my most exquisite erotic fantasies.

To top it all off, during the course of this adventure, I discovered something truly worth writing about. Scribble down insights I did, vowing that one day, once the tender fragments in my journals had been laced into a manuscript reflecting my heart’s knowing, I would publish it. And I would come out as a writer.

journey to write here

Write from the Heart, India 2004

Morning Pages and the journey to write

As quickly as I moved into the ashram, my spiritual practice deepened and creativity flowed now with greater frequency. I’d hopped off the corporate ladder and went freelance, consciously reducing my workload toward a deep dive into the inner life. Yet despite my newfound time freedom, I only wrote in spurts. As much as I respected my daytime profession, my heart knew that an editor is actually just a writer in denial. In 2007, I expressed my frustration to a Satsang friend, a prolific fashion designer whose overstuffed sketch book I admired. She recommended Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, wherein I discovered the Morning Pages that would leave ink stains on my hands and a mark on my life.

Between 2007 and 2010, I folded my freelance business when the ashram relocated to Costa Rica. There amidst the cloud forest I exercised the Morning Pages with the intention of writing my book. I invited Nick to write these Morning Pages with me, and within six weeks a full-fledged, 280-page manuscript busted the seams of his notebook. And once again, I found an excuse to avoid writing as I turned creative attention toward the development and publishing of the book that had come through him and not me.

journey to write here

Write into nature, our Morning Pages view in Costa Rica, 2008-10

Patterns emerging in the journey to write here

This provided me an opportunity to observe a pattern as destructive as avoidance—blame: It was now my husband’s fault that I’m not a writer. When we returned to the States in 2010, it seemed that years of energy were required to re-establish myself as a freelance editor and eventually form my own successful publishing company. In the intermittent creases of successive projects, I finally returned to the Morning Pages in 2013 and the past patterns of avoidance and blame resurfaced only to unwind before my very eyes.

journey to write

Soul mates in the sun, Hillsboro Beach, 2011

Initially, past learned behavior of putting what I perceived as my husband’s needs before my own re-emerged fiercely. I hadn’t chosen the worldly path of self-sufficiency; I’d chosen love, the inward path of Self-Inquiry, and reliance on God to care for all my needs. For weeks, months and years at a time, I foolishly convinced myself that the Morning Pages were incompatible with the teachings of Self-Inquiry—for if the world is an illusion, then why write? And I couldn’t have the mornings free anyway, because if I didn’t snuggle and meditate with Nick first thing, would I be sinfully putting my personal desires before love?

But that was all in my head. Nick became the biggest advocate of my relationship with the Morning Pages and with time and flexibility, I discovered it was possible to experience the holy trinity of writing, snuggling and meditation in my morning routine. In a way, I owe my forthcoming memoir to Love in the shape of Morning Pages. Here is an excerpt from them as testimony to the brilliance of this tool that intimately reacquainted my soul with its calling—the mysticism and magic of writing.

journey to write here

Love looks me in the ‘I’, 2018

Write here in my Morning Pages

It’s happening again. I hear my husband’s voice in the other room and my senses latch on to his every word and I blame him that I can’t find a quiet space to write—which is ridiculous because I might as well blame the iPod speaker on the bookshelf. Yet it does not have the same magnetic pull as Nick in his sentience, his unpredictability, his wisdom, his love. Aha! Look. Curiosity about what he is up to has once again (almost) drawn me away from this sacred whitespace where all complaints dissolve and contradictions resolve before my eyes.

Now I’m perfectly capable of closing the door and inserting the earplugs in an effort to be “more” present, but isn’t the point of Morning Pages shedding that thick skin called “effort” by writing through any and all distractions? Why am I here in the first place? Writing is just the excuse. I am here to remember what matters, to let go of what does not, and to write like no one else is reading it. In Reality, I am not even here to write. I am here to Be, to be naked of all sense of other… and paradoxically, that makes me a better writer and a more gracious lover.

journey to write here

The writing is flowing now (The Savegre River in our backyard, 2008-10)

When Steven Pressfield, talking with Oprah on SuperSoul Sunday, affirmed that everyone knows their “calling,” even if only carried as a secret in their heart, I could not deny my intuitive first response: writing!

What exactly pulled my attention so far from it all these years? I actually don’t like or dislike the act of writing. It is after all—just like when I practiced my letters at the kitchen table—just a happening. What I don’t enjoy is “the resistance,” the feeling that arises from expecting myself to express profundity. The one with these great expectations is the same imposter saying “I don’t enjoy it”! Yet it can’t stop the ink flow onto paper, the fingers dancing on a keyboard, and the characters appearing on the screen, revealing the contours of God.

It is wonderfully fulfilling to write the Morning Pages. Thank heavens for them. They are therapy. Like the perfect friend, they listen without criticism. If a judgment arises, they gently remind me it is my own. And now that it no longer hides, it cannot rule my life from underground. It can be seen for what it is: just another thought. Just another stone on the trail. One I can now pick up and skip across the still ocean, or prance across to reach the other side of the raging river. Either way, it no longer blocks the path and the beauty of my mind.

I am a writer — yes, I am!

My hand my Heart doth steer

universes beyond these words

my journey to write here.

Key books along my journey to write here

Be Still and Know I AM God by Anonymous

The Wisdom of Balsekar by Ramesh Balsekar

The Impersonal Life by Joseph Benner

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden

The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

The Spiritual Teachings of Ramana Maharshi (Foreword by C.J. Jung)

The Book of Secrets by OSHO

OSHO Zen Tarot: The Transcended Game of Zen

Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu (Translated by Stephen Mitchell)

Hsin-Hsin Ming: Verses on the Faith-Mind by Seng-t’san

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

The Supreme Yoga: Yoga Vasishta by Swami Venkatesananda

Anything We Love Can Be Saved: A Writer’s Activism by Alice Walker

My Life as My Self: An Intimate Conversation with Alice Walker (by Sounds True)

and…

“Four Questions to Help You Find Your Calling,” Steven Pressfield’s interview with Oprah Winfrey on SuperSoul Sunday, September 29, 2013

About Penelope Love

journey to write here

 

Penelope Love, MA, is the author of the spiritual memoir Wake Up in Love and the founder of Citrine Publishing. She also co-facilitates conscious relationship workshops and hosts meditation programs in the United States and internationally. An advocate for true love, she enjoys connecting with readers from around the world. Come say hello at www.PenelopeLove.com or connect via Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest or Twitter.

 

Photographs by Penelope Love and Arlington Smith used with permission and thanks.

Read more Wholehearted Stories

If you enjoyed this wholehearted story, please share it with others to inspire their journey. You might enjoy these stories too:

When the inner voice calls, and calls again – my journey to wholehearted living

Maps to Self: my wholehearted story

Ancestral Patterns, Tarot Numerology and breaking through – my wholehearted story

Message from the middle – my wholehearted story

The journey of a lifetime – a wholehearted story

Gathering my lessons – a wholehearted story

Grief and pain can be our most important teachers – a wholehearted story

Breakdown to breakthrough – my wholehearted life

Embracing a creative life – a wholehearted story

Becoming who I really am – a wholehearted story

Finding my home – a wholehearted story

My wild soul is calling – a wholehearted story

Our heart always knows the way – a wholehearted story

How knowing your authentic heart can make you shine

Keep in touch + free ebook ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You might also enjoy my free 94-page ebook ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’ – all about wholehearted self-leadership, reading as creative influence and books to inspire your own journey. Just pop your email address in the box below

You will receive the ebook straight away! Plus you’ll receive monthly Beach Notes newsletters with updates and inspiring resources from Quiet Writing. This includes writing, personality type, coaching, creativity, tarot, productivity and ways to express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. Look forward to connecting with you and inspiring your wholehearted story! 

family history intuition wholehearted stories

Ancestral patterns, Tarot Numerology and breaking through: My wholehearted story

July 31, 2018

ancestral patterns

This guest post from Sylvie Kirsch explores ancestral patterns via Tarot Numerology Lifespan Reading as a way of shaping our wholehearted stories.

This is the eleventh guest post in our Wholehearted Stories series on Quiet Writing! I invited readers to consider submitting a guest post on their wholehearted story. You can read more here – and I’m still keen for more contributors! 

Quiet Writing celebrates self-leadership in wholehearted living and writing, career and creativity. This community of voices, with each of us telling our own story of what wholehearted living means, is a valuable and central part of this space. In this way, we can all feel connected on our various journeys and not feel so alone. Whilst there will always be unique differences, there are commonalities that we can all learn from and share to support each other.

I am honoured to have my dear friend Sylvie Kirsch as a ‘Wholehearted Stories’ contributor. This story is a real treat, informed by deep life experience, Western and Buddhist psychology and art, and featuring Tarot Numerology as a way of exploring ancestral patterns and influences. My sincere thanks to Sylvie for sharing her personal story, photographs and unique influences. Sylvie also shares a special Tarot spread and invites us all to explore our own ancestral patterns in this way. With a focus on a Tarot Numerology Lifespan Reading to explore the major events that have shaped her wholehearted story, read Sylvie’s heart-felt reflections to guide your own story!

Ancestral patterns in our lifespan: my wholehearted story

When we are born into a family, we enter a sphere of inherited cultural, traditional and societal dynamics that conditions our development throughout the lifespan. This sphere holds the seeds of all that will limit or nurture our lives. As we grow we become aware of a pre-established framework that defines our values, beliefs, choices, goals, relationships and especially our capacity to connect with the world.

My journey has been tightly woven into uncovering the ancestral paradoxes in my life. For 20 years I’ve been developing my own process through blending creativity and the intuitive exploration of the Tarot with the express intention of unravelling the complexity of my family situation.

How much of my life have I spent trying to understand and attribute some meaningful explanation for my broken parental links? How many of my choices have been driven by a need to heal this primal wound? How many times, stumped by my irrational responses, have I wondered why I did what I did, said what I said, and been unable to recognise the reflection in the mirror of my life?

Tarot Numerology as a tool to uncover ancestral patterns

Over time, my Tarot practice revealed several discrepancies between my choices and the assumptions and motivations that underpinned them. Intrigued by this, I deepened my exploration through training and was mentored by Katrina Wynne, author of An Introduction to Transformational Tarot Counseling: the High Art of Reading, an approach that integrates Jungian psychology, alchemy and counselling skills. This has become the backbone for developing my ideas in my work on Tarot Numerology, Genealogy and Family Dynamics.

The Tarot offers a non-judgemental stance towards what is playing out in a conflictual situation. We can become observers, able to uncover and acknowledge subconscious feelings, fears, and blockages without getting dragged down by them. Pieces that have been puzzling my life come together as I work on my family tree and explore relationships through genograms.

In the context of a genealogy reading, using the Tarot Major Arcana to represent family members provides me with archetypal clues I need to decipher their personality traits, talents, needs, strengths and vulnerabilities Guided by my studies in Family Systems and Constellation work I’m able to orientate my way through my ancestral map. However, a map is not the territory and my most precious guide in life has been my intuition. The Tarot’s gentle guidance tells what me what I’m capable of understanding, of changing and helps me discern what I cannot change and need to accept.

I want to share with you how I use a Tarot Numerology Lifespan Reading to explore the major events that have shaped my wholehearted story. This reading emphasizes the quality and strength of bonds with my parents and grandparents and their impact throughout my life. It consists of a numerological calculation of five Major Arcana. As this reading is inspired by French Tarot tradition, I use versions of the Tarot de Marseilles, in this case, the Pierre Madenié 1709. I have prepared a simplified Lifespan Card Spread for you to work through if you wish; you may find it a useful reference as you read my story and reading. Click the image of the overall spread below for the Lifespan Card Spread pdf:

ancestral patterns

The 1st Arcane – The quandary of my life – XV LE DIABLE reversed

ancestral patterns

The XV Le Diable reversed speaks: Every experience, whether bitter or sweet, is an opportunity, a teaching moment.

XV LE DIABLE, The Devil, represents the endpoints of my lifespan. At the point of entry, the Devil is reversed but it is through integrating the energies of the other Arcanas that He will gradually straighten to become fully evolved. The Devil’s strategy is to lie and cheat. He abides always on a dual level that superimposes our most basic instincts with the deepest Karmic mysteries. If the Devil represents our delusions, addictions, lack of control over our desires, lack of discernment in our choices, his real plan for us is that we break free from all that binds us.

In the Tarot, the Devil is a gatekeeper of the spiritual world. His mission is to test our capacity to overcome our inner demons. By successfully crossing his threshold, we cast ourselves on our final journey towards spiritual fulfilment. As the 1st Arcane of this reading, the Devil reversed indicates the problematic nature of the inherited environment we are born into and also gives clues to what we need to work on to fulfil our life purpose.

Both having too many emotional issues of their own, neither my Father nor my Mother could be present for me when I was a baby and I was brought up by my grandparents. At the very first I drew comfort in being the apple of two pairs of eyes. However, there was a parenthesis to the integrity and quality of this bond which widened into a taboo which encompassed the subject of my parents. As my childhood consciousness opened, I became aware of the differences between my situation and that of my playmates. “I don’t know” very soon became an unsatisfactory answer to –“Where is your Mummy?” – “Where is your Daddy?”– “Are they dead?” My grandparents went into immediate lock-down when the subject was broached and the lack of answers created a void of doubt and shame within me.

In the XV Le Diable, there are two tethered little demons. They have their arms tied behind their backs. From a genealogical perspective, this represents secrets and lies hidden in the ancestry. I am not the beginning of this story; the lies and secrets began generations before I was born. My grandmother had a very controlling personality. When her expectations for her brilliant daughter’s future were disappointed, she projected these underlying motivations on me. I wonder what role she played in my mother’s flight and in her leaving me behind.

The shame and confusion of my young childhood mind was fertile soil for breeding disparaging self-beliefs such as inadequacy and stupidity. All these added to a general conviction of not being good enough.

There had to be something wrong with me to explain the disappointment which led my mother to leave. Instead of the security of being loved, it was a deep fear of being abandoned that irrigated my early childhood growth. In fear of being further abandoned by my grandmother, from childhood right through to my teens, I aligned my life choices to please her. From my artistic inclination and talent, she decided that I would become a great artist. I was sent to the Beaux Art in Paris. For the first time, I was free from my grandmother’s control and far too naïve to notice the Devil still reversed had laid his trap. I plunged and revelled in every mistake he presented me.

The 2nd Arcane –The initial honing – XVI LA MAISON DIEU

ancestral patterns

XVI La Maison Dieu speaks: It is at the core of your pain that you will find the seeds of your growth.

XVI La Maison Dieu, The Tower, is often perceived with the foreboding of some painful experience, which it can be, but, in spirit, this is a wake-up call for necessary change. It marks a separation, a point of no return. If properly integrated the teachings of the Tower represent a breakthrough that leads to growth and flourishing, if not they become an irrevocable breaking up. The Tower seeks to understand and dive into the depths of human experience. Even if it means sustaining some serious cuts and grazes, the Tower knows that true wisdom necessarily comes at a price.

With my propensity to go the whole hog, I staggered from one unwholesome choice to another. I fell madly in love, abandoned my studies to rush into an improbable marriage. In my delusion, I persuaded myself I could build a secure edifice out of the flotsam and jetsam from the maelstrom I was wallowing in to house my dream family. I thought myself pregnant with child, when in reality, I was pregnant with the father and mother I never had.

To a certain extent I did quite well at sustaining the illusion but the Devil was unimpressed. He decided the time was ripe for putting his Karmic plan into action. The core of my life was struck with brimstone and fire. The most brutal, what shattered me so absolutely into a billion pieces, was the loss of my daughter. It took several years before I could understand that these tiny shards of my self were in reality seeds.

The 3rd Arcane – From Darkness Rising – VII Le Chariot

ancestral patterns

VII Le Chariot speaks: The only thing that can stop you is doubt.

VII Le Chariot, The Chariot, is read both reversed and upright. In its unevolved position, The Chariot needs to harness and maintain a strong hold on the steeds, or else, aimlessly drifting, we lose all sense of direction and end up floundering in self-doubt, never able to reach out to the rich abundance promised in its upright position. From the Tower I fell in fragments and was buried deep into the depths of Sorrow. I drifted blindly through what felt like aeons of darkness. Then one day, my eyes grew accustomed to the night, I began to make out familiar forms, gain a sense of orientation, slowly, gingerly standing up and find my bearings. I saw lights in the distance, my sons, the steeds of The Chariot, come to my rescue.

Upright, The Chariot speaks of the organisation and structuring of identity, never static, always evolving and expanding. He is a Voyager in search of new encounters and broadening his experiences beyond the boundaries of preconceived ideas. It is yang energy that fuels the vitality to reach our goals. The Chariot guides me through the stages of defining a viable itinerary and reminds me that I need to clear the path of past debris before I can move
forward. This means clearly stating my motivations: am I a voyager or am I seeking an escape route? If this is a journey, what is my destination? If this an attempt to escape, what fear do I need to overcome?

The Chariot is about survival: not the fleeing type, the facing the danger and fighting it type. Here I am in my early 30’s. I need to take stock of my resources, make a list of my assets for building a new life, for my two boys and myself. The seeds shed so heartbreakingly in XVI La Maison Dieu are now germinating and taking root. I found an apartment we could afford within walking distance of perfect schools and parks. I had my own art studio and got back to my painting. My life is back on track. I have my first exhibition, a success. I meet the man of my life.

The 4th Arcane – My sphere of choice – VI L’Amoureux

ancestral patterns

VI L’Amoureux speaks: Know the difference between love and desire and the right choice will appear.

The fourth Arcane symbolises our evolving maturity. The trodden path along which our values and beliefs shift, change or strengthen. VI L’Amoureux, The Lovers, represents the crises that shake the foundations of what we uphold by bringing on the need to make a fundamental life-changing choice. In every choice, we simultaneously gain and lose
something significant in our lives. In every choice, something comes to life whilst another thing dies.

The question asked by The Lovers is: what am I prepared to lose in order to win? To develop and grow, we must be prepared to fly away from the safe nest of our childhood. Two entities (or are they the little devils in disguise?), guide the choices of The Lovers. The first is the capacity to discern the difference between our needs and wants. The second is the ability to identify what is within our sphere of choice and dependent on our power and what is not.

Choices always imply taking risks. Risks always engender consequences, even sacrifices, which call upon personal responsibility, the terra firma of maturation. The Beloved asked – Will you marry me? How I loved my life as it was! Yet, I yearned to live with my beloved. The boys were happy and thriving well in their schools. Why change? This is the dilemma of the VI The Lovers. The life-affirming decision that breaks the stasis so painstakingly reached. I set endless conditions for home, schools and art studio. My beloved accepted it all and waited patiently for me to answer.

In truth, there was that old fear of abandonment, lurking in the dark, ready to undermine any attempt to invest in a new relationship. This period of indecision lasted two years.

Above the figures in The Lovers, there is an Angel with bow and arrow extended, ready for Divine Intervention. There is no possibility of stepping around or evading the issue. As I dithered still, the arrow was shot. My youngest boy fell seriously ill and was hospitalized in emergency with suspected meningitis. The paternal presence we needed came from my Beloved who was supportive in every way possible during the three weeks my son was in hospital. The choice was clear. I opened my heart to this gorgeous man and never shut it since.

The 5th Arcane – The dynamics of doubt – X La Roue de Fortune

ancestral patterns

X La Roue de Fortune speaks: Steadfastness is the virtue of being present in perpetual change

How have the dynamics of doubt enabled the Devil to stand upright and shine strongly in the tapestry of my life? X La Roue de Fortune, X The Wheel of Fortune, speaks of our readiness to embrace the constantly changing dynamics of life. How many different versions of myself have I been throughout my lifespan?

Buddhism has brought me to understand that the sentient world is a constant cycle of birth, maturation and passing. There is nothing that I can grasp hold of to withstand the inevitability of change and the losses that it incurs. Going with the flow is the only way to survive the reality of this maelstrom. Read with the Upright Devil, the Wheel of Fortune provides a retrospective of the significant events that have marked or changed my life.

In my new wedlock, I flourished and so did the boys. We purchased an old farmstead which we converted into a home and created a sculpture garden and gallery. I ran the business, organised exhibitions in the gallery, several cultural and seasonal events in the garden that included concerts and theatre groups, in addition to facilitating art workshops for schools and groups. My husband and I created an international sculpture symposium in the nearby town. The sculpture garden became famous and featured in many magazines and media. We were in all the guidebooks. It was a success and I was good at it. It was as if everything I touched turned to gold…but all that glitters is not gold.

My golden life was punctuated by health problems which, in reality, masked episodes of depression: the Shadow, cyclic surges of past anguish that kept knocking me down. I was 40+ and exhausted by floundering in these patterns of despair. My body threw what it could at me to make me sit still, be quiet and listen to what desperately needed to be voiced.

There were three important events that set into motion the Wheel of Change. The first was when I encountered and embraced Buddhism, the second was when a friend introduced me to the Tarot and the third was when I discovered the work of Caroline and David Brazier and took up studies in Western and Buddhist psychology.

These encounters provided me with the tools to learn about the inner mechanisms of my being and behaving. I gradually gained an understanding of how my emotions and responses can be triggered by events contaminated by things projected from other than my own experience. I saw how my beliefs, values, and choices were conditioned from childhood by my family sphere, the cultural values and all the hidden agendas it upheld. How all of this determined my anxieties and fears, especially my capacity to connect wholeheartedly with the world. Yes, the fear was still there, lurking in the dark, ready to hold me back. I grasped hold of it and listened deeply while it emptied its cup.

XV Le Diable upright

ancestral patterns

XV Le Diable upright speaks: Neither tethered nor outcast but infinitely connected.

It was time to tackle things in earnest. With my Beloved in his 60s, my boys grown and pursuing journeys of their own, we cast off for other horizons in search of a peaceful haven to shelter our retirement. We found it in the Cook Islands where we embraced the multiple levels of this new culture. Today I have found a balance between investing my energy in my personal pursuits and offering to the community. I continue to study and expand my creative skills with the intent to share them with others. It’s nothing special, no higher state, just the congruence of a simple life that is rich in meaning.

As I write, I think of my father. He was an author and a poet, he loved music, art and read science fiction books, so do I. My mother, had a love for beauty and refinement, was always elegantly dressed and decorated her home with tasteful style that relinquished nothing to cosiness, and so do I. I spent much of my lifespan either reacting against or trying to resolve their dilemmas. Of course, I never could, but in the process I resolved my own.

The wholehearted journey weaves a tapestry of uneven colours where bright would not seem
so vivid without the darker tones.

ancestral patterns

Books that paved my path

Brazier, Caroline, Buddhist Psychology, Little, Brown Book Group, 2012.

Brazier, Caroline, Listening to the Other: A New Approach to Counselling and Listening Skills, O Books, 2009.

Brazier, Caroline, Other-Centred Therapy, O Books, 2009.

Brazier, David, Zen Therapy: A Buddhist Approach to Psychotherapy, Little, Brown Book Group, 2012. .

Brazier, David, The Feeling Buddha: A Buddhist Psychology of Character, Adversity and Passion, St. Martin’s Press, 2002.

Jette, Christine, Tarot Shadow Work: Using the Dark Symbols to Heal, A Practical Guide Series, Llewellyn Publications, 2000.

Jette, Christine, Tarot for the Healing Heart: Using Inner Wisdom to Heal Body and Mind, Llewellyn Publications, 2001

Johanson, Greg, and Ronald S. Kurtz, Grace Unfolding: Psychotherapy in the Spirit of Tao-Te Ching, Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale, 2011.

Manné, Joy, Family Constellations: A Practical Guide to Uncovering the Origins of Family Conflict, North Atlantic Books, 2012.

Wallin, David J., Attachment in Psychotherapy, Guilford Publications, 2007.

Weiss, Halko, Greg Johanson, and Lorena Monda, Hakomi Mindfulness-Centered Somatic Psychotherapy: A Comprehensive Guide to Theory and Practice, W. W. Norton, 2015.

Wynne, Katrina, An Introduction to Transformative Tarot Counseling: the High Art of Reading, Dancing Moon Press, 2012

About Sylvie Kirsch

ancestral patterns

Sylvie creates mixed media art and jewellery. She is also a mother, wife and crone. She has a passion for weaving together intuitive and creative processes such as Tarot, SoulCollage®, writing and art. After 15 years as creator and manager of a successful sculpture garden in France she and her husband, a sculptor, moved to Rarotonga to embrace the Cook Islands culture. Here she took up online studies in Buddhist and Western psychology. Today she balances her own artistic journey with running a stone carving business and voluntary support in the community through creative workshops and activities. You can visit her at thiscronesjourney.com 

Photographs of and by Sylvie Kirsch used with permission and thanks.

Read more Wholehearted Stories

If you enjoyed this wholehearted story, please share it with others to inspire their journey. You might enjoy these stories too:

When the inner voice calls, and calls again – my journey to wholehearted living

Maps to Self: my wholehearted story

The Journey to Write Here – my wholehearted story

Message from the middle – my wholehearted story

The journey of a lifetime – a wholehearted story

Gathering my lessons – a wholehearted story

Grief and pain can be our most important teachers – a wholehearted story

Breakdown to breakthrough – my wholehearted life

Embracing a creative life – a wholehearted story

Becoming who I really am – a wholehearted story

Finding my home – a wholehearted story

My wild soul is calling – a wholehearted story

Our heart always knows the way – a wholehearted story

How knowing your authentic heart can make you shine

Keep in touch + free ebook ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You might also enjoy my free 94-page ebook ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’ – all about wholehearted self-leadership, reading as creative influence and books to inspire your own journey. Just pop your email address in the box below

You will receive the ebook straight away! Plus you’ll receive monthly Beach Notes newsletters with updates and inspiring resources from Quiet Writing. This includes personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot, productivity and ways to express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. Look forward to connecting with you and inspiring your wholehearted story! 

personality and story wholehearted stories

Message from the middle – my wholehearted story

June 27, 2018

message from the middle

This guest post from Amie Ritchie is a wise message from the middle of change reflecting on how ‘the most loving of maps is one’s own soul’.

This is the tenth guest post in our Wholehearted Stories series on Quiet Writing! I invited readers to consider submitting a guest post on their wholehearted story. You can read more here – and I’m still keen for more contributors! 

Quiet Writing celebrates self-leadership in wholehearted living and writing, career and creativity. This community of voices, with each of us telling our own story of what wholehearted living means, is a valuable and central part of this space. In this way, we can all feel connected on our various journeys and not feel so alone. Whilst there will always be unique differences, there are commonalities that we can all learn from and share to support each other.

I am honoured to have my dear friend and fellow life coach Amie Ritchie as a ‘Wholehearted Stories’ contributor. My sincere thanks to Amie for sharing her story and images about her journey as she negotiates it. It is a message from the middle of change. Amie checks in with what she knows as her personal truths and values as guides for her wholehearted journey. She says: “I believe the surest, wisest, most resilient and most loving of maps is one’s own soul.” With a focus on the meaning making from the middle of deep change, read Amie’s wise reflections to find out more and guide your own story!

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. 

Maya Angelou

Where I begin

My dear friend Terri asked me to write this story many moons ago. The realities of my life were incredibly different at that time. Now as I sit excited and eager to share my wholehearted story of truth, growth, intuitive knowing and co-creation, the certainty of what that story tells floats in the ether. The final pieces have not quite emerged in the space of living, embodied experience. Neither are they yet visible in the rear view mirror of hindsight and integration.

My awakening journey is still being walked, and I am here, right in the middle of it. It is from this place that I write, a message from the middle, and I do so with the knowing that there is no other way. Amidst the many middles of life’s journeys, I believe the surest, wisest, most resilient and most loving of maps is one’s own soul. As I share pieces of mine, may you receive what you need, and gently release what you don’t.

message from the middle

Who I am

Mine is a story of a woman who feels the world around her deeply, who is deeply intuitive and who has grown accustomed to giving more than she has. A woman who stretched outside of boundaries she never learned to create, and so could not honour. She is a woman who is healing, learning, growing. A woman wayfinding her way to living the whole truth of her soul. She is redefining herself and the world around her as she wakes up. She is me and I believe she may too be some of you.

It must be noted also that many of the most powerful medicines, that is stories, come about as a result of one person’s or group’s terrible and compelling suffering. For the truth is that much of story comes from travail; theirs, ours, mine, yours, someone’s we know, someone’s we do not know far away in time and place. And yet, paradoxically, these very stories that rise from deep suffering can provide the most potent remedies for past, present and even future ills.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés – The Gift of Story: A Wise Tale About What is Enough

I find myself in one of the messy middles in life and so far it’s been the greatest of dips I’ve faced. The path has been filled with darkness, confusion, sadness, grief, anger, fear, and shame. The friendly shadows of my lighter, happier self have been by my side. The details of my why and how, the travail and suffering Estés writes, I will hold for another day. The elements of strength, grounding, and support I have befriended, however, are here for the exploration and sharing. They are pieces and elements of my path that I share in earnest they will be useful or awaken a truth in you. At the very least, you will know that someone else out there is in a murky middle of their own, and they are finding their way through. Just as you will.

What I know to be true: Mother Nature and her cycles are liberating

For as far back as I can remember, I grew up outside. From days spent in snow forts of Montreal, to the beaches and rivers of Florida, and sport fields in between, I spent as much time as possible outside. During high school, I remember nights spent with friends under the stars, camping on islands, trekking through forests and fields, and waking up surrounded by green. As happens to many people, life took me indoors and I quickly started spending more and more time inside.

I drifted out of my daily relationship with Mother Nature and recently began to find my way back. Slowly through more outdoor walks, to stopping to photograph flowers, to watching the moon at night, I began to return to the outside world. What has resulted from that return is a deeper appreciation, a more conscious relationship with nature and an intentional drive to be present with her. Unsurprisingly, this has also coincided with the deepening of my relationship with me.

What I’ve learned through the cycles of the moon, the seasons of change, and the diversity of nature is that there is a time and place for everything. It is natural to rest, to be in stillness, to release. There is a cycle of being that does not always produce or show itself in constant motion. What I’ve received through my stillness, my internal winter, is actually the freedom to be and surrender to what I do not know. I’m learning patience and allowing, which is no small thing for an over-achiever and planner who loves to know where she’s going.

Living in relationship with nature offers me an expanding, evolving and natural way of being that doesn’t ask for perfection. It asks only for what already is, as it is. To me, this is a beautiful expression of wholeness and it’s available just outside my window, and inside me if I can see it.

message from the middle

What I know to be true: The body often knows before the mind

Wholehearted living means following the truth of my inner guidance, in its innate wisdom and infinite capacity for compassion. As a long-time athlete, trained yoga teacher, and runner, I have always paid attention to my body and breath, but there has been a significant shift in this middle ground. While I used to pay attention to my body, it didn’t necessarily ‘win’ over my mind. What once mainly meant listening to my inner voice, and following my gut instinct, is now a more subtle sense of wisdom that I’m actively trying to develop. My understanding of my intuitive guidance system has deepened to include my somatic body, my emotional and cellular body.

Ironically, learning more about the brain has been a large part of this road. How it can work to rationalize negative experiences, protect us from perceived or real danger, and blur felt-reality, led me to a deeper understanding of what it creates, and also what it misses. I now really feel into my emotions, breathe into the spaces of tension, feel it all while slowly quieting my mind’s desire to categorize, rationalize and interpret.

What has helped this learning greatly is a book called The Awakening Body and various somatic grounding practices, including ancient Hindu Pranayama techniques like Nadi Shodhana. This deepened somatic attention has also helped as an Introverted Intuitive who often has a hard time explaining quite why I know something to be true. Knowing that intuitive hit I receive has a layer more subtle and less obvious than I once knew is really grounding. I’m learning I don’t always need a reason or explanation, a feeling will do.

What I know to be true: Being in present, compassionate relationship with others begins with oneself  

As a giving and nurturing woman, I have often acted for the benefit of others ahead of myself. I put myself last, gave more than I had, and tried to create harmony amongst the whole, without always counting myself as part of it. Having generally focused my life, learning, career on serving others and creating change in the world, the idea of self-love and first filling my own cup hadn’t really crossed my mind until it rolled through like a steam engine.

Intellectually, I knew that women are traditionally socialized to act as caregivers who give and please and bend to keep the peace, sometimes at the expense of their own wellbeing. My healing journey of late has guided me to the deep, felt knowing of those consequences. I intimately know that if we don’t love ourselves, give to ourselves, practice self-acceptance and self-compassion, we cannot truly show that to others.

Thus the practice of radical self-love and conscious inner work is what colours my middle. The integration that all of this begins within, first and foremost in my relationship with me. I’ve loved building awareness of my natural cycles, the personality preferences I have, the stories I tell myself, and the sound of my own breath. Journaling and being outside have proven wonderful spaces from which to navigate my middle and build trust within myself. I have also received professional support in the way of therapy and am incredibly grateful for the gift of a good book.

As I lay the roots for a strong, solid, loving relationship with myself, the interdependence of us all and the blessing of community is never out of sight. In my view, being in conscious and compassionate relationship with ourselves and each other is a truly wholehearted way to live as it requires the acceptance, honouring, and celebration of all parts of ourselves as humans. While there is much that separates us, much more is shared. As I practice lifting up my voice, in story and in truth, I know that it will serve the lifting of someone else’s. When I hear the stories and truths of others, I am uplifted and brought closer to my own centre.

In our present time, there is a goodness to, and a necessity for, rugged independence among individuals. But this is often best served and supported in good measure by deliberate interdependence with a community of other souls. Some say that community is based on blood ties, sometimes dictated by choice, sometimes by necessity. And while this is quite true, the immeasurably stronger gravitational field that holds a group together are their stories…the common and simple ones they share with one another.

Clarissa Pinkola Estés – The Gift of Story: A Wise Tale About What is Enough

message from the middle

What lies ahead and the courage to meet it…the message from the middle

I’m on a path of living my joy, my questions, my journey with devotion and surrender to every piece of me. What lies ahead is the creation of a new life, the redefinition of myself on my own terms. While I possess a lot of intellectual knowledge about what this means and have learned to facilitate this road for others, I am also deeply learning to embody it. The honest truth is while the path of self-definition, of taking full and complete responsibility for my whole, imperfect self, and the uncertain journey ahead is empowering, it can also be quite frightening.

The path of being your whole self, of leading a wholehearted life requires courage. And to demonstrate courage, one has to feel some degree of fear. As I move forward, I have learned to welcome it, befriend it, receive its message, and act from my inner compass of truth. Of course, it is far easier to say that ‘one day, then…’, ‘when I am/have/done, then…’, ‘when all is well, then…” Then the magic will occur and I will feel whole. This is a feeling many people have, and I surely have also felt this. It’s as if we forget the caterpillar and the time spent in cocoon, only to see the butterfly appear and believe it all happened spontaneously.

The truth is these shifts and changes toward wholehearted self-leadership are happening all the time. Just as in nature, change is constant, even if we can’t see or name it. Even in times of deep winter, whether of nature or the soul, shifts are afoot. While deep and imperceptible in the middle, they are ongoing. Each day, through the quiet and unannounced choices to honour our boundaries, they grow in strength and clarity. These self-definitions emerge in the roar of our voice, the tender ear and the space we hold for another whose story needs to be heard. It is a daily practice of connecting with and honouring what is true. And this is the path I follow. This is my truth of courageous, joyful, wholehearted life and the ongoing, creative journey of living it.

Guides and resources for my journey

These books and writings have been guides and resources for my journey:

  • The poems of Rupi Kaur
  • The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd
  • This is Woman’s Work by Dominique Christina
  • The Awakening Body by Reginald A. Ray
  • The writing and works of Clarissa Pinkola Estés

About Amie Ritchie

Amie Ritchie

Amie has spent much of her life focused on making a positive difference in the world. She is now passionate about helping people who also feel this same call to venture inward and get grounded in their truth, values and purpose. As an internationally certified life coach, yoga teacher and writer, she supports people toward trusting and loving themselves first, so they can consciously share their brightest blend of love with the world and lead a life of joy, meaning, and connection. Visit her at www.amieritchie.com , on Instagram or via email amie@amieritchie.com

Photographs of and by Amie Ritchie used with permission and thanks.

Read more Wholehearted Stories

If you enjoyed this wholehearted story, please share it with others to inspire their journey. You might enjoy these stories too:

When the inner voice calls, and calls again – my journey to wholehearted living

Maps to Self: my wholehearted story

The Journey to Write Here – my wholehearted story

Ancestral Patterns, Tarot Numerology and breaking through – my wholehearted story

The journey of a lifetime – a wholehearted story

Gathering my lessons – a wholehearted story

Grief and pain can be our most important teachers – a wholehearted story

Breakdown to breakthrough – my wholehearted life

Embracing a creative life – a wholehearted story

Becoming who I really am – a wholehearted story

Finding my home – a wholehearted story

My wild soul is calling – a wholehearted story

Our heart always knows the way – a wholehearted story

How knowing your authentic heart can make you shine

Keep in touch + free ebook ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You might also enjoy my free 94-page ebook ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’ – all about wholehearted self-leadership, reading as creative influence and books to inspire your own journey. Just pop your email address in the box below

You will receive the ebook straight away! Plus you’ll receive monthly Beach Notes newsletters with updates and inspiring resources from Quiet Writing. This includes personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot, productivity and ways to express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community. Look forward to connecting with you and inspiring your wholehearted story! 

creativity transcending

Opening your heart to inspiration of a different kind

May 7, 2018

In each loss, there is a gain as in every gain there is a loss. And with each ending comes a new beginning.

Shao Lin via The Art of Life Tarot – Eight of Cups

opening your heart

A Quiet Writing deep-dive Tarot Narrative each Monday to share intuitive guidance, wisdom and insights from aligned books – for the week and anytime…

This week: opening your heart to inspiration of a different kind

Theme for the week beginning 7 May

The underlying theme for this week to guide our overall focus is from Lisa McLoughlin’s Life Design Cards deck – #19 Design from patterns to details

opening your heart

We’ve hard this card before not so long ago! Last time it reminded us of the value of strategy and the higher order of connections. This week the message is similar but with a particular focus on moving through and not letting details get the better of us. We are reminded to look at ideas, patterns and getting our ideas and feelings out without getting stuck.

Advice from the Life Design Cards Guidebook is:

Are you concentrating too much on the details whilst missing the bigger picture, or vice versa?

Today’s narrative, led by this theme card, encourages us to step back a little and see the whole. Looking at patterns rather than flaws or minor issues will serve us well at this time.

It’s about being positive and macro focused rather than micro. We are encouraged to reflect on how working at a higher order of life design can serve us and others well now.

Tarot Narrative for the week beginning 7 May

opening your heart

Tarot Narrative: 

Moving on from the tyranny of details, you open your heart to inspiration of a different kind. You want to take your ideas forward but get stuck on the pieces which breaks your movement. So focus on higher order things: patterns and designing from a higher place. With spirit as your guide, work on manifesting your ideas in form and flow without obsessing about every small thing. It will all find its place.

Cards: Daughter (Page) of Swords and Eight of Cups from The Wild Unknown and #40 Co-create from Wisdom of the Oracle.

Book notes:

It is the same with our minds and hearts. For our very self is the one window we have into this life. And so often, we suffer the mood of a dirty window, believing the brilliant world gray.

Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening (for May 7)

opening our hearts

Mark Nepo reminds us for today’s reading in ‘The Book of Awakening’ of ‘The Ordinary Art’. This is about keeping our minds clear and not seeing life through a dirty lens. One way of keeping things murky is to get caught up on the detail – the one piece of dirt on an otherwise clear window, the one thing that is not right. So much can get lost in obsessing about detail before you even make a start or begin opening your heart.

Mark Nepo goes on to say:

Perhaps the purpose of authentic relationship is to help each other keep our minds and hearts clear. Perhaps inner work is the ordinary art of window washing, so that the day is fully the day.

Opening your heart 

The Page of Swords can often represent “a great idea with no outlet” according to Jessa Crispin in The Creative Tarot.  It can remind us that it’s “time to grow up and see a project through to completion for a change.”

Do you have a project that never seems to get going or even make it through to the draft stage? Do you close your heart down before you even start as the details cloud over you?

This reading starts with the Page of Swords as a weather report card telling us to get on with our work or relationships. Too much focus on the detail and the tyranny of perfection can stop us from even starting work or communicating.

One way of opening your heart is embracing the overall pattern of your work rather than obsessing with the details. Just as Mark Nepo reminds us, seeing our work or loved ones through a dirty lens is just not going to be helpful.

opening your heart

Inspiration of a different kind

The Eight of Cups reminds us to let go of what doesn’t serve us. It might be painful but letting go and leaving things behind can be positive. We might, for example, let go of an obsession with detail to finally get our work done. Walking on the beach, we might see the one stone or shell that speaks to us instead of being overwhelmed by many. We might let go of a way of thinking, a person, a job or an attitude that stops us achieving higher order goals like love, creativity or connection.

The Wisdom of the Oracle card Co-create also reinforces this message by encouraging us to see our life as art co-created with spirit:

Connections of the heart serve to inspire you, opening you up to new ideas you would never have had on your own.

This Tarot Narrative work I do is an example of that. I never know what these weekly posts will focus on until I do this intuitive work in partnership with spirit. It is a unique practice of mystery and manifestation that is larger than me. The tarot and oracle cards are tools for me to connect with my intuition. For this week and beyond, focusing on higher-order patterns and a clear view of my work and relationships will serve me well. And I share this in a spirit of co-creation with you.

Details, endings and beginnings

As the Art of Life Tarot Eight of Cups reminds us, endings and beginnings and losses and gains are often intertwined. Especially when big life transitions or events happen, it’s easy to lose the larger picture in the details. We feel hurt by small things that feel magnified. It’s easy to dwell on these upsets. We are encouraged to see the cyclical nature of life and to move beyond getting stuck through an obsession with detail.

Working with our intuition, seeing the bigger picture, working with patterns, choosing to see through a clean window can help us. It is as if we need to erase the details that can trip us up or hold us back. Defining ourselves or others by small events or a few words said can be limiting. Just as not developing the unique creative ideas that come to us because of a fear of not achieving our ideal will limit our productivity.

“Done is better than perfect” is a maxim I have embraced more this year. There is no point having such high expectations of ourselves or our work that nothing gets started. Or ever sees the light of day.

It’s a great week for opening our hearts to inspiration of a different kind.

  • How are we embracing our creative ideas rather than stifling them?
  • Where are we be generous in our relationships rather than fault-finding?
  • What have we learnt about the ways we stop ourselves from moving and how can we action this?
  • How can we find a higher order pattern to work from rather than getting stuck on details?
  • What can we do to invite inspiration in and take it through to completion?
  • Where can we work in partnership with intuition and spirit and the spirit of others to further our work and relationships?

Walking away from practices that no longer serve us can help us feel more inspired. Take some time to journal on how you can lift your eyes to see the positives without the details becoming a barrier this week.

opening your heart

Love to hear your thoughts!

I’d love to how you are working from design and a different kind of inspiration this week.

All best wishes for this week of seeing the big picture to guide us in moving forward.

May you find inspiration in opening your heart and seeing new beginnings. And let me know what you think of this post and this weekly Tarot Narrative!

opening your heart

Keep in touch & free ebook on the ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You can work with me to help tap into that inner wisdom and magic guidance. Free 30-45 minute coaching consults chats are available so please get in touch at terri@quietwriting.com to talk further. I’d love to be a guide alongside to help you conduct creativity and magic with spirit and heart in your own unique way.

You can download my free 94-page ebook on th36 Books that Shaped my Story – just sign up with your email address in the box to the right or below You will also receive updates from Quiet Writing and its passions. This includes personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot and other connections to help express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community.

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

You might also enjoy:

Finishing on a high note – closure, letting go and moving on

Gathering my lessons – a wholehearted story

Coaching goals and the value of being a healthy creative

Your body of work – the greatest gift for transition to a bright new life

Grief and pain can be our most important teachers

creativity transcending

Weathering seasons of life with skill and balance

April 30, 2018

Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.

Oscar Wilde via The Art of Life Tarot – Four of Pentacles

weathering seasons

A Quiet Writing deep-dive Tarot Narrative each Monday to share intuitive guidance, wisdom and insights from aligned books – for the week and anytime…

This week: weathering the seasons of life with skill and balance

Theme for the week beginning 30 April

The underlying theme for this week to guide our overall focus is from Lisa McLoughlin’s Life Design Cards deck – #49 Connect with Nature whatever the weather.

weathering seasons

Again we seem to be building on the recent weeks’ themes of the essential matters of life and the value of simple pleasures. This week we are reminded of the value of weathering seasons and connecting with nature to help us.

Advice from the Life Design Cards Guidebook is:

Connect with Nature no matter what your internal or external season is.

I drew this card immediately after writing in my morning pages:

Monday morning, wet, windy, rainy, but off for a swim soon because I like to keep moving and I love it. I love all the conditions and changing circumstances. Reflects my life really, moving through different weather and changing circumstances.

This week’s guidance is about weathering seasons of life and how we choose to move through them. Even the conditions that are out of our control.

It’s about connecting with nature and other practices that keep us grounded in changing times. Remembering that different weather, seasons and change are all a natural part of life helps us to flow with it all rather than fight it. Another aspect of wholehearted living, we can choose to live in the moment of whatever season we are experiencing. We can also make choices to help us navigate challenging times more consciously and with skill and balance.

Tarot Narrative for the week beginning 30 April

weathering seasons

Tarot Narrative: 

It’s time to remember the value of weathering the seasons and circumstances with skill and balance. All you have been through, the changing times are full of lessons and learning. Focus on the broader canvas of shifting from one season to another. Remember the larger scale, the deeper riches, and the cycle of the month, the year – how life moves through highs and lows, successes and challenges. Weather it all with skill and grace and work on yourself, your projects, as an anchor through changing times.

Cards: Three of Pentacles and Four of Pentacles from The Art of Life Tarot and #38 To Be Fair from Wisdom of the Oracle.

Book notes:

But it is in the present–not in the past, and most certainly not in the future–that we are able to see the landscape, to feel the range of our humanity, to travel every uncomfortable mile.

Dani Shapiro, Still Writing

weathering seasons

Seasons can be actual, physical times of the year or they can be seasons of creativity and life. Whatever season we are moving through, a key element of the art of wholehearted living is to be present. As Dani Shapiro reminds us, it is about being present to our experience that helps us weather circumstances.

We often can’t control what happens to us. All we can control is our response and attitude to it. And a great way to manage that is to be present and mindful. Connecting with nature helps us do that. Practices like swimming, walking, yoga, writing, running – all help us do that. Working out what can support you to be in the moment is an important part of weathering seasons of life and creativity.

Weathering seasons of life and creativity

The Three of Pentacles is a favourite card here at Quiet Writing. I referenced it when I launched Quiet Writing Coaching where I talked about coaching as co-creation. Today it pops up again to remind us of the work we are doing over time. As Ralph Waldo Emerson says on The Art of Life Tarot Three of Pentacles card:

The reward of a thing well done is to have it done.

The Three of Pentacles focuses on mastery, craft, long-haul creativity, teamwork and weathering circumstances to get our larger work done in the world. I think of it as the “building a cathedral” card as Jessa Crispin suggests in The Creative Tarot. Many versions of the card show a major building undertaking, taking measurements, working out the architecture and structure, bringing the pieces together.

It makes me think of weathering seasons in larger creative projects or life practices. Examples that came to mind are:

  • Completing NaNoWriMo and writing 50,000 words in a month
  • Swimming and learning to swim in different weather and circumstances
  • Tarot work and learning this skill over time, sharpening my intuition

Any aspects of life really where we are digging deep to weather seasons and circumstances, get projects done or deal with major life issues like grief and illness.

Jen Carrington is also a proponent of wholehearted living and talks about living and working in seasons of hustle, struggle and rest. I love Jen’s thoughts on this and how we can make choices and modulate our way through, whatever season we are in.

weathering seasons

Connecting to what matters

The Four of Pentacles card reminds us to connect with what matters, echoing last week’s message. Just as the quote on The Art of Life Tarot card reminds us (from Oscar Wilde above), the real riches are more than the material things of life. We are reminded to loosen up, let go, not get so focused on the material. We can worry so much about these things and lose joy in the process.

The Wisdom of the Oracle card To Be Fair also reinforces the message of the changing circumstances of life:

Life is a pendulum swinging between all of these states…remember all experiences have their place.

As Jen Carrington reminds us, there are times of hustle (eg working on big projects, moving forward), struggle (eg facing challenges, overwhelm) and rest (eg slowing down, pausing projects). We can be mindful of these seasons and we can mix them up a little. And we can find practices to help us navigate these seasons more successfully, whether they are of our choosing or not.

Weathering or living by seasons

The big learning for me has been to honour nature as a great leveller and teacher at times of challenge.

I know I mention swimming a lot, but that’s because it has been such a mainstay at a time of challenge. It helps me notice the seasons, the weather and reflect on moving through, being present. I meditate as I swim, noticing the fish and sand, letting all the jumbled thoughts settle as I breathe and move.

Likewise walking on the beach or in the bush enables us to interact with the weather but also reflect and be present. Being present to how we are living and choosing to live helps us to weather seasons of life and creativity in a calmer way.

And I’ve learnt that the tougher the going gets, the more I need to swim, walk, read and write, the anchors of wholehearted self-leadership in my life. It’s so easy to give them up when times get hard. But that is exactly what we need to be doing as a form of self-care. Your particular loves and skills will be different but whatever they are, honour them to keep present, fair and balanced in your life.

It’s a great week for reflecting on weathering seasons in our life and creative projects.

How are we moving through, how are we nourishing ourselves, how are we staying present in the midst of challenge?

Building the big works of our lives takes all seasons and learning to manage them. Take some time to journal on your weathering of seasons and creativity and see where you can strengthen your response to changing times.

weathering seasons

Love to hear your thoughts!

I’d love to how you are weathering seasons in your life and creativity.

  • How are you taking the longer and larger scale view and building a cathedral?
  • What practices make a difference in weathering seasons of different types in your life?
  • How are you staying present to enjoy life’s riches even if there are tough times around you?

All best wishes for this week of weathering seasons by focusing on navigating change and conscious choices in how we respond.

May you find joy in the richer dimensions of life that may take more time to build and withstand. And let me know what you think of this post and this weekly Tarot Narrative!

weathering seasons

Keep in touch & free ebook on the ’36 Books that Shaped my Story’

You can work with me to help tap into that inner wisdom and magic guidance. Free 30-45 minute coaching consults chats are available so please get in touch at terri@quietwriting.com to talk further. I’d love to be a guide alongside to help you conduct creativity and magic with spirit and heart in your own unique way.

You can download my free 94-page ebook on th36 Books that Shaped my Story – just sign up with your email address in the box to the right or below You will also receive updates from Quiet Writing and its passions. This includes personality type, coaching, creativity, writing, tarot and other connections to help express your unique voice in the world.

Quiet Writing is on Facebook and Instagram – keep in touch and interact with the growing Quiet Writing community.

If you enjoyed this post, please share via your preferred social media channel – links are below.

You might also enjoy:

Coaching goals and the value of being a healthy creative

Your body of work – the greatest gift for transition to a bright new life

Grief and pain can be our most important teachers

Endurance – going the distance with truth, patience and strength

Seeking wisdom in water and elsewhere

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