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wholehearted self-leadership

wholehearted stories writing

Women’s stories and their uplifting value in wholehearted living

August 30, 2021

Other women’s stories helped me on my journey to wholehearted living and have so much to offer you. Telling your story can be healing and also light the way for others.

In the writing and publication of Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition, I’m highlighting people who’ve been a shining light and support on the writing, living and publishing journey.

Stories of Wholehearted Living

First up, here is the most amazing group of women – authors of Stories of Wholehearted Living guest posts on Quiet Writing.

Wholehearted Stories authors

As I went through my journey to living more wholeheartedly, I wanted to hear other women’s voices. Feeling alone and only hearing my voice, it was important to hear what other women had been through. I wanted to know what helped them to shift and integrate life experiences and learning towards living more fully. And I wanted to share this with other women to inspire their journeys and wholehearted lives.

In the middle of 2017, when I was also writing the first draft of my Wholehearted book, I reached out to women I knew. I offered women in my community the opportunity to step forward to write their story.

‘Wholehearted’ emerged as a focus when listening to a Magic Lessons podcast with Elizabeth Gilbert speaking to Mark Nepo. They chat with Cecilia, who lost heart about her writing because of not being accepted into MFA programs. Mark Nepo reads from his poem Breaking Surface which begins ‘Let no one keep you from your journey.’

My book Wholehearted and the Stories of Wholehearted Living all centre around this theme of getting to what is important and not letting others or ourselves stop us. They are women’s stories and voices sharing experiences of challenge, transition, insight and how they moved through to claim wholeness, creativity and strength.

This body of women’s stories has grown over the past few years since then. I’m working on stories with new authors whose stories are imminent. The invitation is always open. The guest posting is a supported writing experience. I bring my writing, teaching, coaching and editing skills together to help you craft your draft into a published story you can feel proud of.

How other women’s stories helped mine

As I was writing Wholehearted, I revisited these stories shared and crafted together. Some feature in the Wholehearted book. These women’s stories and voices inspire me each day, helping me see common connections in experiences. I hope they can help you too because it supports us all to hear other women’s experiences. We feel less alone when we can read another’s story that connects to ours.

Reading of another’s journey through challenging times can give us hope and practical tips. Each author also shares the books and other influences that provided women and insight as they moved towards feeling more whole and wholehearted.

These women’s stories share common themes and strategies like:

  • how to listen to our inner voice.
  • the learning from and working through grief and trauma.
  • how to write our way through and journey with writing.
  • what transition looks like.
  • the resources and learning that can help us gain strength and insight.
  • how art can help us and others heal.
  • practical strategies to get back to what matters and centre it in our lives.
  • how we deal with the toughest challenges in our lives.

Each story tells the author’s journey over time, moving through the challenging middle time of change towards a fuller life.

Turning points in our lives

There are often turning points in our lives when transition takes hold and our lives shift.

For me, it was not being given the opportunity to do a job I felt well suited for in a very changeable work environment where I was struggling to find my place. It sent a powerful message about being out of place and lost with the gap in alignment between myself and the organisation growing. After that, so much changed, and I reached out to a coach for help to make a journey of transition from the long-term government role to a new life. This is the story I share in my Wholehearted book.

Wholehearted story author Heidi Washburn tells of travelling home one day when she experiences a voice speaking to her.

A quiet, gentle but firm voice, not just a thought.

‘I don’t want to do this anymore.

What?

‘I said! I don’t want to do this anymore.

What do you mean? You have to. You just got the business where you want it. You have staff, an office and now you can do the more creative work. Isn’t that what you wanted?

That was the end of the conversation. Or so I thought.

After that night, after that very moment, everything changed, but so quietly and slowly I hardly noticed. Of course, I was the one deciding. However, I didn’t know where I was going or what the path was. Deep change doesn’t come with a check-list or a schedule. And there is no guarantee that things will work out for the best.

From ‘When the inner voice calls, and calls again

How other women’s stories can light the way

Reading other women’s stories can light the way and help us not feel so alone. Each story offers an experience you can relate to and learn from.

Lynn Hanford-Day tells in Breakdown to Breakthrough of getting to the point of a breakdown before making change. Her sacred geometry and mandala art became the way through, and this continues as a sacred creative practice in her life. You can see her beautiful work and process on Instagram.

Katherine Bell went through a huge life transition, leaving behind her country, job and marriage after gaining courage from reading ‘David Whyte’s Crossing the Unknown Sea’. She shows us Our Heart Always Knows the Way.

Penelope Love tells her story of her Journey to Write Here and how writing in various forms has helped her navigate so much wisely.

Sally Morgan tells a story of Writing the Way Through and trusting her writing practice in the seasons of her life, especially when she loses her voice for an extended time.

Bek Ireland goes on personal retreats in her own town to shape the quiet she craves and to hear her inner wisdom. She tells her story in The courageous magic of a live unlived.

Shalagh Hogan explains how she gathers her lessons over time, doing the hard inner work and integrating learning to shape wholehearted Creative Soul Living.

Many women form their versions of what wholehearted living looks like to them with their own language, like Sylvia Barnowski’s Maps to Self. These powerful insights from other women’s stories help shape our journey to wholehearted living.

Thank you to these women for stories shared on Quiet Writing


So thank you to: Katherine Bell, Elizabeth Milligan, Colleen Reagon, Jade Herriman, Lynn Hanford-Day, Kerstin Pilz, Shalagh Hogan, Chantal Simon, Amie Ritchie, Sylvie Kirsch, Penelope Love, Sylvia Barnowski, Heidi Washburn, Maura McCarley Torkildson, Olivia Sprinkel, Bek Ritchie, Emily Lewis, Lisa Dunford, Kamsin Kaneko, Dawne Gowrie Zetterstrom, Sally Morgan and Valerie Lewis.

Thank you for sharing your wholehearted story, creativity, life hacks, special reads and learning from challenging times to inspire our journeys. You’ve all helped mine immensely and you’re stitched into the pages of Wholehearted.

📖 Head to Stories of Wholehearted Living to read more about the project and the guest posts. Or click on the individual names of authors above.
✍️ If you would like to contribute as a guest post author, pop over to Wholehearted Stories to read the invitation.

wholehearted stories
Stories of Wholehearted Living

Book and light photo by Nong Vang on Unsplash

Books writing

Cognitive Science Writing Tips from Anne Janzer’s The Writer’s Process

August 16, 2021

You hone the craft of writing through practice; it does not arise from understanding the mind alone. But the practice is easier and more enjoyable when you approach it in a way that complements your mind’s behavior.

Anne Janzer, The Writer’s Process

My friend and writing buddy Beth Cregan recommended Anne Janzer’s The Writer’s Process, so I downloaded the audiobook and listened on my travels. I loved it! Then I bought the ebook and worked through it again closely for a presentation on personality and writing. Recently the beautiful hard copy arrived because I want this book close by to inspire me as I write and so I can read it again and again.

As it has inspired me so much, I share a few insights from the book here and encourage you to read it!

I’ve read MANY books about writing over the years. What I love about The Writer’s Process is that it looks at the cognitive aspects of writing. Drawing on research from cognitive science, Anne Janzer helps us understand how the brain works in the writer’s process. With that insight, we can work more consciously in partnership with our brain in our creative processes. We can craft our own writer’s process and actively guide our creativity in a more informed and self-aware way.

The more mysterious aspects of writing, the numinous, the inspiration, the moments when the blood flows and the writing is white hot are exciting. But that is just one part of the process to be combined with other more structural and pragmatic elements. Working in a metacognitive way with our brain through all steps of the writer’s process is a practical way to create what we desire to shape.

Here are a few key tips from The Writer’s Process – but read the book in its entirety! It’s a gift of insight from Anne Janzer to writers and creatives.

Know and use your inner gears

Janzer explains two key inner gears in the writer’s process: the Scribe and the Muse.

If you’ve worked through a long-haul writing journey, as I have with my book Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition, you will know the parts that make up the writer’s process feel very different. Some steps like crafting those first creative insights are more aligned to the Muse. Other steps like editing and proofreading are more the work of the Scribe.

Getting clear on these two different perspectives and their associated writing skills has helped immensely. Here is Anne Janzer’s succinct summation:

Within each of us, the Scribe summons our verbal skills to find the right words, assembles them in grammatically correct sentences, and creates sensible structures. The Scribe manages deadlines and gets the work done.

But writer also access intuition, creativity, and empathy. These processes are the domain of the Muse.

The Writer’s Process page 17

This is something we intuitively know and, as a teacher of writing, I was aware of and taught these unique skills. But the framework of the Scribe and the Muse provides a way to move practically with awareness through the steps of the writing process. Critically, they have different kinds of attention:

  • SCRIBE: focused attention eg research, outlining, revision, proof-reading
  • MUSE: creative, wide-ranging attention, including periods of rest, incubation

When we are drafting, ideally the Muse and Scribe work together in a state of flow.

Understanding these different skill-sets and types of attention means we can harness them. We can draw on the interplay between them in our creative process. Janzer’s practical tips for leading ourselves help us negotiate through the ebb and flow of the demanding cognitive task of writing, especially when working on a longer project.

Laptop computer on a desk with an open book and pen and a cup of coffee. It looks like research is in progress.

Understand the 7 steps of the writing process

Anne Janzer provides a very useful 7 step model of the writing process using the analogy of bread-making. She aligns these writing (and baking) steps with the inner gears of the writing process.

Getting clearer on this writing process, one we often cycle back and forth through, has been incredibly useful. I like to have a map, compass or framework for anything I am doing. This overall flow of the writing process and being more cognisant of the inner gears at work has supported me as I’ve moved through writing my book:

1 Research (Scribe)

2 Let the ideas incubate (Muse)

3 Structure the piece (Scribe)

4 Write the first draft (Scribe + Muse)

5 Rest before revision (Scribe rests; Muse may choose to return)

6 Revise and proofread (Scribe leads; occasional Muse input)

7 Publish (Scribe)

It’s powerful to see the process in this way and where the Muse and Scribe fit, especially the role of incubation. We often think we are procrastinating or delaying if we are not always in forward movement with writing. Through the analogy of writing with bread-making, Janzer highlights the importance of letting ideas or drafts rest. Just as bread needs time for the ingredients to activate and integrate, so we need to allow time to reflect on what we have written.

Sometimes, we need to stop writing so more things can come to light in our life. In writing Wholehearted, there was a long period of incubation before the deeper editing process, including reaching out for support. It felt uncomfortable, but now I can see the work required it to be integrated and complete. Knowing this is part of the cognitive and creative process of writing assists us in making sense of the uncertainty and confusion as we let our work rest and ideas incubate.

Ingredients and equipment for bread-making - eggs, milk and a rolling pin alongside a fresh cut loaf of bread.

Apply cognitive science for personal writing productivity

Here are a few further insights for The Writer’s Process that helped in my personal writing productivity and process and in coaching work with others:

Managing multiple writing projects with awareness

The idea of having different cognitive processes at work and tasks has helped with my creative productivity and planning. Janzer encourages us to use the insights from the inner gears and the writing process to stagger our work. It’s challenging to work on the same type of cognitive tasks across different projects at the same time. So look at it another way!

Instead, stagger the start times so the projects are in different phases: research, drafting, incubation, revision. Create the right work environment conditions for each type of work. If you are freshest mentally in the morning, do the drafting first thing. Schedule research and revision for other parts of the day, and remember to leave unstructured time to ponder what you’re learning in the research.

The Writer’s Process page 142

This insight was gold! Now I think about how I structure and schedule my writing in terms of the phases of various writing projects and the processes involved. I’m considering how and when my brain works best and have more self-mastery by choosing the gears and timing. Having multiple writing projects on the go is demanding, but this framework helps us work with more ease and insight. Projects can influence each other. We choose what we work on depending on the project phase, processes and our personality preferences. We can work on the research for one project, the draft for another and the editing of a third, and build a writing schedule around this. Life-changing!

I have also reflected on the insights from cognitive science in The Writer’s Process and the link with psychological type. I presented a session on ‘What 100 Years of Type can Teach us About Writing’ for the British Association of Psychological Type in April this year. Reviewing the field of personality and writing over the years was fascinating and yielded insights into how we go about the writer’s process in different ways as individuals. Our preferences influence how we draft, for example. Some of us would never speak to another person when we draft and work out what to write. It’s a totally introverted and internal journey. Others enjoy a conversation or brainstorming session with others to get ideas and inspiration to write.

It’s valuable to think about how we can bring together the cognitive aspects and our personal cognitive preferences to navigate and flex through the writing process. Insights from the two fields together yield practical tips to help us move through the writing process successfully, especially when we are in it for the long haul!

We might look at:

  • What is our natural way of writing through the writing process?
  • What happens when that doesn’t work or we feel blocked?
  • How can we use knowledge of the gears, the steps and our own preferences to more strongly lead ourselves through the writing process?
  • How can we get to know our unique writer’s process – that mesh of psychological preferences, process and what we desire to craft?

These reflections can lead to more productive and enjoyable creative experiences and journeys.

Writing is intensely personal. Productive writers develop strategies that suit their individual personalities and environments.

The writer’s Process, p1.

Woman writing in a notebook with a few other notebooks beside her and a cup of coffee she is drinking as she writes.

Next steps and thank you

Anne Janzer’s book and my further exploration promoted exciting insights I’m applying and sharing with others in my coaching. Join me and my friend and writing partner, Beth Cregan on The Writing Road Trip in 2022.

Join me in Personality Stories Coaching to get deeper insight into your personality preferences for creativity, writing and all aspects of life. This includes how to honour and work with your strengths and stretch into your less preferred areas to grow.

I’m grateful to Anne Janzer for so many fascinating and supportive insights about the writer’s process. It’s a valuable read with many complex cognitive science ideas clearly articulated. The frameworks are practical for writing more consciously and moving through the writer’s process with clarity.

I encourage you to read The Writer’s Process to inspire and support your writing process. And please share your insights and thoughts in the comments!

Images by others used with thanks to the creators: [ID in Alt text]

Computer and notebook – Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash 

Bread-making – Photo by Hector Farahani on Unsplash 

Woman writing – Photo by Kat Stokes on Unsplash

Books self-leadership + leadership

Wholehearted book walkthrough step by step

August 4, 2021

Welcome to a Wholehearted Book Walkthrough. Here I step you through the chapters and journey of reading my book Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition. I also welcome questions via the comments. You can also watch the video on Youtube with subtitles if that is your preference or it’s easier for you. It’s also at the bottom of this post.

When you pre-order Wholehearted, you can get a copy of Chapter 1 so you can begin reading now. This includes the Contents pages and Foreword, an original and a glimpse of the tarot cards that feature in Wholehearted. That way you can get an overview of the reading journey of Wholehearted and what it offers you. After you’ve purchased the book or books, go to the Wholehearted book page. Pop your details in on that page and it will be with you in no time.

Or I’ve popped the forms at the bottom of this post to make it easier for you if you’ve already purchased!

Copy of the book Wholehearted and the Companion Workbook against a sunrise pink background.

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: the high level

You come into Wholehearted with an introduction into the story of transition via a poem, two key tarot cards, the Foreword and the contents pages. From this, you gain an insight into what is coming and get an overview of the Wholehearted reading journey.

The books is in three parts:

Part 1 My Wholehearted Journey – covers Sections 1 to 5 where I share my experiences of making the shift from long-term government employee to a more wholehearted, self-sustaining, creative life. The essence of this transition was about getting back to what is important in the day to day. I explore the positives and challenges of this experience, what helped me and what I learnt over time. Through-out this section and the book I provide practical tips to help you with making positive transitions.

Part 2 Wholehearted Self-leadership Skills – Sections 6 to 8 is where I bring together the Wholehearted Self-leadership skills I’ve learnt on the journey and share them with you to help your own transition and transformation to what is important to you.

Part 3 Bringing it all together – Sections 9 to 10 is where I take a more high-level view of how living a more wholehearted life comes together. I share what I’ve experienced, the markers, what arrives in the wake of transition and the choices we have. This section conveys what self-leadership looks like when you bring the skills together.

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: I My Wholehearted Journey

To step you through in more detail, here’s an overview of what is in Part I My Wholehearted Journey:

Section 1 Beginning the Journey takes you into the heart of my transition journey. I share the key turning point and how this was coming for a long time as big changes often do. There is a tough moment when I knew this transition was really on. I explore how I rebuilt my life step by step via Quiet Writing, blogging, finding a voice and new purpose and the beginning of an alternative path. We look at transition and turning points and how self-leadership became so important in my life and what it offers you.

Section 2 is about Imagining Another Way. I chart the course of the transition in practical terms and the stepping stones and lighthouses that helped in initial stages. This includes looking at the role of hard inner work, showing up for ourselves and how self-talk affects us as we make our journey.

Section 3 Identifying your Passions and What you Love explains how tapping into your passions and uniqueness is a valuable guide to a new life. This is especially important as we re-orient ourselves to living differently.

Section 4 is Identifying your Natural Gifts, Style and Desires. Here we look at your personality preferences and how embracing your natural strengths and gifts is a powerful guide for transition. We look at defining your style and personality in different ways and how tapping into what you desire to feel offers a compass.

Section 5 rounds off Part 1 and focuses on Identifying your Body of Work and Resources Over Time. When making a significant transition, we can often leave pieces of ourselves behind. So it’s vital to look at your body of work and the resources you’ve built up to move forward in ways that are meaningful to you.

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: II Wholehearted Self-leadership Skills

Section 6 is the largest section of the book and the heart of it. Here I walk you through 15 Wholehearted Self-leadership skills that have been pivotal in my transition. I share these skills to support your own change-making and transformation journey. These practices, mindsets and skills are the foundation and backbone of my transition day in, day out.

They include:

  • 6.1 Setting powerful heartfelt intentions
  • 6.2 Writing as daily practice
  • 6.10 Tuning into intuition and listening within

I explain how these practices helped me and why and how I honed them and continue to hone them over time. 

Section 7 is about Valuing and Building Influences and Connections. I explore the value of influences and honouring what brought you to this point via five of my creative mentors. These mentors have been an immense influence, particularly in the early stages of my transformation in tough times. I unpack what I learnt from each of them as role models. And I talk about the importance of community and support as we make change. Often this is something we need to do in new ways including online.

Section 8 is Working with the Shadow Side in Becoming Whole. Here we traverse some of the darker, shadowy sides of life and our personality. We look at the less preferred areas of our personality, our weaknesses, our inferior function, grief, unrequited love, envy and comparisonitis. Just as we need light and shade in our gardens, and have the lighter and darker cycles of the moon, we need to embrace ourselves fully. It’s helpful to look at the shadow aspects of our life and personality as a force for good. We learn from them. Making these shadow aspects more conscious is some of the most powerfully transformative whole-making work we can do.

Wholehearted Book walkthrough: III Bringing it all together

Part III is where we bring it all together.

Chapter 9 looks at Guides for the Wholehearted Path and two key aspects: synchronicity and grounding in the practical and every day.

Chapter 10 is the final chapter and looks at Self-leadership and Love as the heart of Wholeheartedness. It looks particularly at the role of choice and love in our wholehearted self-leadership journey.

There is a wealth of information and resources in the end matter too, with extensive endnotes and key references for further reading and exploration. 

Cover of Wholehearted Companion Workbook which is pink with a nautilus shell.

Wholehearted Companion Workbook

The Wholehearted Companion Workbook tracks along each of the chapters of the book, providing further application and examples. It provides the opportunity to apply the learning to your own circumstances in a supported self-coaching way. I also share more about my own experiences as an example to help prompt your own thinking.

I hope this walk through of Wholehearted helps you to see the rich reading and transformation experience that awaits.

Head over to the advance praise for Wholehearted from early readers as another insight to the reading experience the book offers.

Links to pre-order Wholehearted are on on my website. You can purchase Wholehearted at Booktopia, Amazon (all territories), Kobo, Apple iBooks, indiebound.org and Bookshop.org. Both books are available at discounted pre-order prices in paperback and ebook!

Once you’ve pre-ordered, don’t forget to come back and add your details to get Chapter 1. You can also join me for a live Masterclass on the 15 Wholehearted Self-leadership skills if you pre-order two or more books. You can do this below.

I hope that’s helpful! Thanks for reading and/or watching and listening. Welcome any further questions or comments!

Thank you for joining me on this Wholehearted journey. I hope the books can support you on your self-leadership transition journey to a more wholehearted and fulfilling life. Whatever that means for you!

Wholehearted Book Walkthrough on video with subtitles

Here’s the video with subtitles if you want to watch:

Here is the form to complete to get Chapter 1 if you’ve already purchased one book:

Here is the form to complete to get Chapter 1 now + an invitation to a live Masterclass on ’15 Wholehearted Self-leadership Skills to Change your Life’ if you’ve purchased 2 or more books:

transition work life

6 tips to transition from consistent, unexciting work

July 30, 2021

I shared a Wholehearted Q&A chat on Instagram live recently and asked for questions about the book, transition and self-leadership.

This fabulous question came in from Esther via Instagram:

What advice would you give to someone too scared to leave the consistency of working for the government but knowing they are no longer excited or challenged by the work anymore?

Such an excellent question! Thank you Esther. It went straight to my heart. I worked in government as a teacher and leader in the vocational education sector for 30 plus years, so I know intimately the feeling you are expressing. And I am sure it is something many women ponder as they contemplate the tension between ‘safe’ and consistent work and not feeling fulfilled by unexciting work. It certainly brings up fear and trepidation!

You can watch my live as I answer the question here (video also below at the end of this post) or read my response below. Or both! And I welcome your comments or questions too if you have experienced this situation or are experiencing it now.

I’m hearing in this question the desire for change, but also valuing the security and ongoing employment offered. It’s a very real tension and one that can keep us stuck as we work out the best way to move. But if we can make a plan to move on to better things, it can make all the difference to our mindset!

Here are 6 tips for changing from consistent but unexciting work!

1. Look at your why

A starting point would be to look at WHY you are no longer challenged or excited in the organisation or role you are in.

Journal about this to see what comes up. Is it because, for example:

  • you are no longer aligned to the organisation. 
  • it’s boring and not stretching you in the role you are in.
  • you wish to be doing something completely different.
  • you have long-held creative yearnings that you want to fill.
  • something else?

This will help you with the next step of looking at options.

2. Look at your options

If no longer challenged or excited by your work role now, brainstorm and make a list of options open to you. Self-leadership is all about exploring options and choices. Then actively pursuing what you feel is right for you with intention. Some of your options might be:

  • seeking new opportunities within the organisation you work for.
  • seeking opportunities like secondment in another government organisation or a project role where you can feel more excitement and challenge.
  • starting a consultancy on the side or another sort of side-hustle around a passion or something you’ve always wanted to do.
  • seek opportunities for space to consider options, for example: working part time, job-sharing, taking leave, working four days a week or a nine-day fortnight.
  • look at the skills you have, your body of work over time and where this might take you next.

Often we see our situations and options as binary and either/or, but there are frequently many choices. The transition to what you desire might involve a series of choices that take you there, one step at a time. It might not be one gigantic leap even though that may feel like the most desirable option. Deep transition takes time and is often incremental.

3. Get a vision of what life might be like

To get a vision of what life might look like in the future, write about what your ideal day might look like in a few years’ time. This simple but powerful activity helps to get to what is in your heart and what would help you feel fulfilled and happy. Often it’s simpler than we think and this activity helps us to see where we are already on the way.

A vision board or collage is another way to do this if you are more visual. You could start a Pinterest Board and gather images of what your new life might look like to see what themes emerge and what you are seeking through change. This process helps us to tap into what is beneath the surface of our consciousness, trying to break through.

vision board

4. Take inventory

When you want change or are not happy where you are, it is easy to dwell on what you don’t have. It’s helpful and grounding therefore to look at what you have and see how you can deploy these resources more effectively.

Areas to take stock of include:

  • skills you have, your body of work
  • skills you want to develop
  • resources, including financial resources
  • financial options
  • potential income sources
  • superannuation
  • leave
  • investment strategies
  • where you could cut back

Part of the fear of leaving a government job (and often other employment) is letting go of the security, the regular pay and the conditions. They are familiar and regular and it is not a decision to be made lightly. If you wish to leave, look at what you have to help you make a shift and how you might supplement or replace the income. Look at living differently, having fewer expenses, making income creatively.

unexciting work

5. Check your mindset – look at the fears

It’s very natural to feel fear as we make change, even if it is a change we deeply want.

An important distinction is this.

CHANGE is external – what happens to us, also what we choose to change or start.

TRANSITION is internal – how we plan, adjust, prepare, ground ourselves and our mindset as we do this.

The inner work of transition, even from unexciting work, includes looking at the fears, self-limiting beliefs and self-doubt that typically arise in times of change. Managing the internal aspects of transition strengthens our ability to negotiate change positively with self-knowledge.

If feeling scared, have a good look at your fears. Make a list of what scares you. Get it down on paper. Identify the false, overstated or imagined fears, then identify the ones that are genuine concerns. Once you have these identified, use all the tips here to work out how to address these fears in practical terms. 

6. Get support

Significant transition takes time. It feels like your very identity is in the mix even if the unexciting work is making you unhappy. Often you feel alone, lost and uncertain at such times. You need support! Get a coach – I would love to support you if you are going through transition times in a 1:1 capacity as your coach. Working with a coach helped me immensely as I went through my transition journey, and I still work with coaches all the time to keep growing and focused. A group coaching program like the Sacred Creative Collective can also be an option if you want support and connection with others while going through change.

Head to Work with me to learn how you can work with me as your coach. First step is a free Self-leadership Discovery Call so we can connect and have a conversation about your challenges and desires and where I might help. You can book that free, no obligation call HERE.

So summing up, here are my 6 tips for transitioning from consistent but unexciting work:

  1. Look at your why – so you can get some context and a starting point.
  2. Look at options – so you can widen your scope of action.
  3. Get a vision of what life might be like – see what you might really want.
  4. Take inventory – look at the resources you have for a new life.
  5. Check your mindset – look at fears and interrogate them.
  6. Get support – via a coach and community to help you negotiate the changes positively.

Watch the video here to review:

Knowing it’s time to make a plan for a transition

If you know in your heart you’ve had enough of this unexciting work and need to move on. Or there’s been a turning point event in your life that has clearly said, ‘I no longer belong here’, then making a transition plan using the above tips is helpful.

Another resource for you is to strengthen your self-leadership skills is my book, Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition. It is full of practical strategies to help you with self-leadership if you are going through change or wanting something different. Plus the experience of reading the book and working through the workbook is a deep self-leadership and self-coaching experience.

You can pre-order Wholehearted and the Companion Workbook now to help you navigate times of transition. The books will be with you on 6 September. In the meantime, I’ll send you a free pdf of Chapter 1 so you can start reading now.

Plus, if you purchase 2 books, Wholehearted and/or the Companion Workbook, you can join me for a live Masterclass on ‘15 Wholehearted Self-leadership Skill to Change your Life’ where I’ll walk you through these strategies and answer questions.

So click below to find out more about the books. All the links to pre-order the paperback and ebook versions worldwide via different booksellers are there.

Wholehearted Book

Read more:

How to tap into the power of emerging at midlife

Create Your Deeper Story 1 to 1 Coaching

Stories of Wholehearted Living

Sacred Creative Collective Group Coaching

Cora Pacheco – Sacred Creative Stories of Transition

Your body of work: the greatest gift for transition to a bright new life

Image credits:

Feature image: Photo by Siddharth Bhogra on Unsplash 

Vision board image: Photo by Andy Art on Unsplash 

Laptop image: Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash 

coaching

Sacred Creative Collective Group Coaching

January 15, 2021

Create deeper meaning and purpose in your life with the support of a coach and a community!

Join the next Sacred Creative Collective Group Coaching for 3 months of wholehearted self-leadership coaching.

Get on the waitlist to be the first to know when enrolment is open!


Read on to learn more about the Collective

Create a life that has more meaning and purpose. Move beyond procrastination. Commit to a project or transition, work consistently, and see it through with confidence and discipline. Connect with practical tools to create progress instead of going over old problems or ways of doing things. Take that dream of writing a book or blog or creating a new life path or ecourse and begin to make it real.

Sacred Creative Collective is for you if you are creating a new life story and it feels a little overwhelming and lonely at times as you work through it all. 

Explore what you desire to create in a safe environment with accountability and companionship. Learn with a guide and other wise women walking on the road with you so you feel supported. Because sometimes it can feel like hard work and we all need that guidance and a place to share our breakthroughs and work through our challenges.

When you get the connecting threads in place, you’ll feel clearer about the path you’re taking.

You’ll have the resources and tools to bring the threads together. You’ll feel motivated and enthusiastic with good habits, discipline and rituals established. Knowing more about your personality strengths (and saboteurs!), these practices will provide a strong foundation for flexing into new territory in ways that work for you!

You’ll feel a sense of direction and purpose, especially if you’re working on shaping a new life chapter. Perhaps life has changed in some fundamental way. You might have finally left (or are planning to leave) that workplace behind and are wanting to get back to what you truly value. You might want to weave together ways of living and working in a more seamless, harmonious and productive way. Perhaps you’ve been on this journey for some time now and need a little boost and support through the ups and downs.

Whatever the circumstances, you are planning a deeper shift to a more creative way of living, one closer to your heart.

Working with the Sacred Creative Collective, you’ll shape plans and strategies for working the best way for you. You’ll feel you have a goal, something to aim for. No longer simply biding your time, you will be doing something of value. Your spiritual life is deeply important to you (whatever that means for you) and probably always has been. Your own practice is sacred to you, but you’d love to share and learn with others too, so you can connect and enrich each other. 

Stepping away from the ordinary world for a while, you can listen more clearly to your own inner wisdom.


Introducing the Sacred Creative Collective, a step-by-step 3-month group program for women who want clarity and momentum for a more fulfilling life without the overwhelm.

As a result of working together in the Sacred Creative Collective, you will:

  • Embrace your calling and creativity and take your desires from intention through planning to reality so you can make them happen!
  • Be in confident action towards a creative project or life transition you deeply want.
  • Better understand and work in alignment with your personality preferences so you can achieve your goals in your own way.
  • Enjoy the support and accountability of a coach and a community of women, sharing wisdom and cheering each other on so you feel connected as you make change.
  • Develop self-leadership skills for sustainable change so your investment and engagement has lasting and enduring impact.

Meet your guide for the journey

I’m Terri Connellan, your coach for the Sacred Creative Collective and I’m here to guide you on the journey. Here’s what’s unique about the Sacred Creative Collective and what I bring to you.

I blend magic and practicality, vision and action, intention and doing the work, intuition and logic, group and individual focus, your calling and a community to support YOU.

I’m a master curator of rich resources, learning and just the right tools to open you to the wisdom and creativity within.

I bring together a passion for creative living with skill and knowledge as a life coach and personality type practitioner, backed by 30 years’ experience in adult education teaching, facilitation and leadership. 

I am skilled at zeroing in on individual needs and facilitating learning in a group environment. Using these skills to shape a flexible learning experience, I will guide you at both an individual and a group level to meet your needs. 

Most importantly, I’ve been on a major life transition journey myself over the past 4 years. 

Pretty much everything has fundamentally changed as I’ve shifted from being a long-term government employee to shaping a self-sustaining, creative life based on my passions and desires. My book Wholehearted: Self-leadership for Women in Transition was published on 6 September 2021. It’s what I’ve wanted for a long time. It’s been a soul-nourishing journey, working on my deeper purpose and meaning. I’ve taken my body of work, skills and experience and added to it to create a new life for myself. I’ve finally got down to doing the creative work of my heart that I’ve longed to do. I share my story, skills and learned wisdom to help you create your deeper story. 


Secure your place on the VIP Waitlist and early access to resources to be in action.

Here’s what people have said: 

I enjoyed my time with the Sacred Creative Collective learning from and drawing on Terri’s teachings, experience and invaluable feedback. It provided me with the structure, accountability, support and community that I felt I needed to be in action as I started out on my new journey away from the corporate world. Terri’s leadership and deep knowledge, the thoroughness and professionalism of the content presented and shared throughout was a highlight, as well as the opportunity to meet others on a new journey, deepening their own path. Terri and the Sacred Creative Collective entered my life at exactly the moment I needed this support and I am grateful for this!

VALERIE LEWIS – VISUALISE AND BLOOM – and read Valerie’s fuller Sacred Creative Story HERE


The last three months’ coaching as part of the Sacred Collective Coaching group has been truly life-changing.  I feel like I have pushed reset, examining so many areas of my life and personality.  I now feel much more able to step into my own power and move forward confidently and with ease.  Thank you Terri for gentle and encouraging feedback and informative and enlightening guidance. It definitely feels like this is learning we can revisit time and time again, each time going deeper and getting further to our core.

ELIZABETH MILLIGAN – ON INSTAGRAM – and read Elizabeth’s fuller Sacred Creative Story HERE.


The length of the course is ideal for getting started and making good progress on a project. I love how everyone can be working on their own goals and still be able to learn new things and participate together. I’ve made progress in the area of personal power: learning about archetypes, shadow work and saboteurs has been deep and meaningful. I am feeling more positive about my ability to lead myself and also as I learn more and more about the INFJ personality, I am finding it to be so helpful in understanding why I do what I do. Thank you, Terri! It has been a transformative experience.

CORA PACHECO – EAGLE AND STAR TAROT – Read Cora’s fuller Sacred Creative Story HERE.



Here’s what’s included in the 3-month Sacred Creative Collective:

Weekly Sacred Creative Skills live presentations

12 weekly Sacred Creative Skills live presentations help you learn practical creativity, personality and self-leadership skills to apply to a personal project or goal. With resources to support your individual creative project or life transition plans, you’ll be skilling up AND be in action towards your goals. 

Sacred Creative Skills shared include: 

  • PERSONALITY: KNOWING YOURSELF: your style, personality and preferences as guides: your personality type, style statement, style and type, archetype and other lenses of self-knowledge and personal insights.
  • SELF-LEADERSHIP: CREATIVITY + TRANSITION YOUR WAY: self-leadership, living and working in seasons, personal practices and rhythms, writing, solitude.
  • CREATIVITY: CREATIVE PRACTICE TOOLS + RESOURCES: writing, intuitive practice, technology/social media tips, organisational tools, managing social media and focus in a digital age.
  • SHOWING UP TO YOUR CALLING in your own unique way: resistance, turning professional, responding to your calling, knowing your saboteurs and particular brand of self-sabotaging.
  • YOUR INFLUENCES + ENVY AS GUIDES to what you want: your creative influences over time and what they can tell you; looking at envy as a source of insight as to what you want.
  • FEELING WHOLE IN YOUR WORK, CALLING + TRANSITIONS: Personality type and transition and working on your personality strengths and less preferred areas to feel whole in your work and manage transitions positively.

Monthly Group Coaching Calls

Via 7 fortnightly online group coaching sessions, we will explore individual goals and progress in a collective environment. A combination of coaching and community, you’ll be accountable for your actions in a supported way and enjoy companionship on the journey. With a small group capped to a maximum of 12 women, we will be able to ask questions and connect in a deep way over the 3 months.

Bonus Creative Mentor session with Nicola Newman

You’ll have a bonus 60-minute group mentor session with Nicola Newman, an inspiring Creative Mentor leading a self-directed creative life. We’ll talk about the art of creative living in a live conversation and Q&A with Nicola, drawing on her experiences of creative and positive life transition. You’ll learn how to focus in on your desires and options and be inspired by Nicola who has shaped change with creativity and success.

Nicola Newman

Personalised 1:1 coaching support

With 1:1 personalised email and video feedback from me as your coach through-out, you’ll feel accountable and driven towards your goals. You can also access additional 1:1 coaching sessions at a special Sacred Creative Collective rate to intensify and support your learning if you desire. 

A private Facebook Group community

A Facebook community will provide a place for sharing learning, experiences and practice. We’ll co-create and support each other and have fun in the process.

Online, global and ongoing access

All learning in this program is online so you can work from the comfort of your home anywhere in the world. Dates and times for group coaching by Zoom video-conferencing will be organised to best suit the timezones of those who sign-up. All sessions will be recorded for easy access. You’ll have ongoing access to the Sacred Creative Skills course content, Facebook and group coaching recordings beyond the 6 months so you can always go back to the resources to refresh your learning.

Opportunity to join the Sacred Creative Collective Mastermind Alumni group

You also have the opportunity to join the Sacred Creative Collective Mastermind Group for alumni only. This is an ongoing way to keep supported and connected with wholehearted self-leadership, a coach and a like-minded community of women.

You’ll finally be able to bring together a plan to achieve your dreams and make it happen. 💃🏼 💃🏼 💃🏼

And I’ll support you through all of the threads of the program to be sustainably self-directed and in action for the long-term.

sacred creative collective

Here’s a check-in about whether it’s the right program for you:

I want to know that you will enjoy fantastic outcomes and have a life-changing experience. You want to get excellent value for your investment and transformational tools and positive steps into a sustainable new life chapter. And enjoy your time in the process!

So here’s what I know:

The Sacred Creative Collective is perfect for you if:

  • you’re ready (super keen) to shape a life transition or creative project.
  • you love creativity, reading, learning and shaping personal practices.
  • you are excited about getting to know women on a similar journey.
  • you want to understand yourself and personality preferences better.
  • you’re committed to putting time into working on yourself.
  • you’re excited by a blend of individual and group work.
  • you think a mix of coaching and teaching/learning from me would work well for you now.

The Sacred Creative Collective is not for you if:

  • you’re not ready to make life changes or commit to a creative project.
  • you don’t like learning, reading or shaping new material into your life.
  • you’d prefer to work one to one and not engage with a community.
  • you don’t feel you have anything to learn about your personality.
  • you’re not committed to investing time into working on yourself.
  • you don’t feel comfortable with a blend of individual and group work.

I hope that makes it clear. I want the best for you! You can hop over to Work with Me for other options like 1:1 coaching if you feel the Sacred Creative Collective is not for you now. Or book a Self-leadership Discovery Call to check.

And to make it easier, you only need to pay the first instalment in advance to secure your place.

The rest is to be paid in additional equal instalments in advance each month during the program.

Doors open early for those on the waitlist to receive an EARLY BIRD discount and early access to resources to be in action.

As soon as you pay your first instalment and have an introductory Self-leadership Discovery Call to check it will be a great fit for you. You get early access to resources so you can be in action before the program formally starts. You will hit the ground running and make the most of the 6 months. 

The early bird resources include:

  • A WELCOME PACKAGE with the Sacred Creative Skills program outlined in full so you can see the whole and where you would personally like to zero in.
  • A PERSONAL LEARNING PLAN WORKBOOK so you can start to shape your goals and learning program. You can start early and plan for success, honing in on your personal focus. It might be a creative project, the next step in your life path or creative business like a transition plan, blogging or writing practice or developing content for an ecourse or face to face program. Whatever feels right for you.
  • A detailed RESOURCE LIST so you can begin to choose the BOOKS you would like to focus in on or the PODCAST episodes you would like to listen to motivate you in making real progress in the Sacred Creative Collective.

Set your intentions for a new creatively inspired life in line with your meaning and purpose. It’s a great opportunity to set yourself up for a positive and focused time and also have support in negotiating all the global challenges we are experiencing.

So are you interested in working together in a sacred creative way with a coach and others? 

Fabulous  – it is going to be wholehearted, creative work and play as we wind our way together towards deeper meaning and purpose.


Here’s how to get started! 

Be in action toward your goals now. Places are limited to a maximum so take advantage of early access to resources and secure your place. Here’s what to do!

If we are already in contact now via coaching or mastermind groups, send me an email and we can work out if a discovery call step is needed.


Questions?

Have any questions? Check out the FAQs below at the end of this post.

The Sacred Creative Collective is a value-packed way to work with me to access all my skills, knowledge and experience, gain valuable self-leadership skills and make new connections. 

With the resources you receive in advance, you can be in action to make powerful progress over the 6 months. A 1:1 45-minute Discovery Call will help you kick off your plans with focus and insight.


Here’s more about what people have said: 

Creativity flourishes within intentionally crafted containers and the Sacred Creative Collective is among the most friendly and loving spaces I know. Attracted to Terri’s subject-matter expertise and curation style, I enrolled to allow myself to receive the kind of support I’m accustomed to giving in my professional field. As such, this program envisioned as an ‘external’ accountability structure delightfully points back to inner wisdom, where authentic accountability arises from within and is exponentially enhanced by group participation yet not dependent on it. The vast, detailed library of resources, combined with a wealth of skills instruction and a generous measure of laser coaching, has exercised and strengthened these creative wings for takeoff!

– PE

I really enjoyed being part of the Sacred Creative Collective and the experience of being on a learning journey with other women on a similar quest of acquiring knowledge and strategies to facilitate our writing dreams. There was a feeling of acceptance and support throughout the course, whilst having a definite structure to adhere to. Having Terri share her journey and acquired learning along the way was both interesting and useful. Terri put us on to some terrific resources and shared some very inspiring and motivational quotes which kept propelling us forward. The inbuilt accountability of spelling out our weekly priorities and fortnightly goals and action helped me to achieve my goal of creating my blog and launching it into the world!

– DR

Frequently Asked Questions

How much time will I need to commit to the program?

The program material itself (Sacred Creative Skills, Group Coaching, Facebook, Mentor Calls, 1:1 work over the 3 months) requires a commitment of about 2-3 hours per week on average. Then your work on your individual goals and projects is additional to this – however, this is work you would want to be doing anyway. The group coaching will help you be in action in a more strategic, efficient, productive and supported way towards your plans. 

What if I get behind?

The material is always there to go back to and you can work in whatever way suits you. Focusing week to week helps to be in action and working on the early materials as soon as you have access will give you a head start for deep action.

How big is the group?

The group is small enough for individual attention and intimate connection but large enough for a sense of community. The program is capped to ensure the best balance over the three months.

What about time zones and the timing of the calls?

The Sacred Creative Collective attracts women from all over the world which provides a rich opportunity for interaction and connection. Dates and times for group coaching by Zoom video-conferencing will be organised to best suit the timezones of those who sign-up. Group coaching will be a 90-minute session with the whole group if that works or in 2 x 60-minute options each fortnight at times when global time-zones make a single group too challenging.

Why do I need to book a Self-leadership Discovery Call?

This is a coaching program and even though we are working as a group, you’ll be working on your own priorities and projects. To be able to customise the program to both individual and group needs, I need to get to know you and your priorities and desires. Plus we need to know it’s the right fit for you before you commit.

When you book your session, I’ll be sending you some questions to prepare in advance. If you decide to go ahead with the program, you’ll be ready for when doors open or to enrol ASAP. If we decide it’s not the right fit, I’m happy to share other resources and options to help you get what you need and of course, refund your initial payment or transfer it to another option of your choice.

If we are already in touch and know each other well via coaching or other means, just send an email to me at terri@quietwriting.com and we can talk that way.

What if I feel I need more 1:1 support?

If you feel you need more 1:1 support, you can access 1:1 coaching with me during the 3 months of the program. This will be available at the special rate of $140AU per hour which is 15% off. 

Do I need any special technology? 

No. It’s all pretty standard technology for online courses and coaching. You just need a computer, internet connection, email address and a pair of earbuds or headphones with inbuilt microphone for group calls. I’ll be there to guide you and help if there are any issues or it is new to you.

What if I am not confident with technology?

I’ll be there to help you every step of the way and can work with you 1:1 on any challenges that arise. Learning to work with technology will help you to embrace self-leadership and learning goals as well. You’ll learn tools and tips to help you with your goals. In fact, getting confident with technology would make a fantastic learning and life goal for the program!

How long will I have access to the material?

The Sacred Creative Collective resource material will be on the Quiet Writing School ecourse platform and in a private Facebook group. You have access to the material beyond the program to support you to be in action. You can download material for your own use too to ensure you always have your own copy to hand.

How will you blend together group skills and individual projects? 

As a teacher in adult vocational education, this is work that I have done for many years and am very skilled in! As a person with INTJ type preferences, it is natural for me to be organised and I love to shape complex material into frameworks and more accessible ways of working. We will have processes and templates for ensuring you can scope personal intentions, goals and plans and have the resources and support to be in action towards them. Group support via Group Coaching and Facebook is an important part of the program. I love teaching and facilitating groups with a mix of individual needs and learning styles as we all learn from each other!

Do I need to know my Jung Myers-Briggs (eg MBTI) personality type before I start?

No, although it does help you to have this knowledge to get the most from the program! You might already know your type from previous work. Working through my deep-dive Personality Stories Coaching Package prior to the program helps you to get into a good place with understanding your unique personality.

Whether you have this knowledge or not, you know yourself well and we can tap into this and work with it. I’ll provide some simple frameworks and activities for working with what you know about your personality preferences. I’ll share insights on psychological type and how it affects the way we naturally work on the way through. As always we will start with where you are and build on that.

Will I get my Jung/Myers-Briggs personality profile through this program?

Not in a formal way but you will know more about your personality from working through this program. Self-assessment with the guidance of a coach is also a valid way to learn about your type. I weave knowledge of psychological type into everything I do. The Personality Stories Coaching Package is a 1:1 deep dive into your personality type if you wish to do this at any time, before, during or after the program. If you already know your type but would like to revisit it prior to the program via a 90 minute 1:1 deep dive coaching session, contact me by email or book a Discovery Call as a first step for both group coaching and personality work.

What happens after the program?

You have the opportunity to join the Sacred Creative Collective alumni Mastermind group for ongoing connection and support. You can also work via 1:1 coaching with me.

Be in action now!

So get on the waitlist for next time and receive early bird access and discounts.

I look forward to sacred creatively co-creating with you!

PS Here’s an insight into the quality of my online teaching and learning approaches:

The variety of ways Terri presents the study material means that everyone coming to the course will find their preferred method of learning catered for. I’m an aficionado of online courses, but I’ve never encountered such a sensitivity to the needs of different learners and is a testament to Terri’s wealth of experience in the field of education. Gold standard stuff here.

Claire Harnett-Mann

Further reading:

Practices and tools to support creative productivity and mindset

9 of the best books to inspire your writing books to inspire your creativity and craft

Coaching goals and the value of being a healthy creative

Stepping up through fear

Your body of work – the greatest gift for transition to a bright new life

self-leadership + leadership

Self-leadership as the most authentic heart of leadership

January 12, 2021
self-leadership

A review of Lead Yourself First: Inspiring Leadership Through Solitude, Raymond M Kethledge and Michael S. Erwin, Bloomsbury Publishing, 2017.

Leading yourself first, self-leadership and solitude in leadership

The value of solitude is a critical but often overlooked component of leadership success. Finding quiet space in leadership roles is challenging and even more so with the expectations of constant connectivity.

‘Lead Yourself First: Inspiring Leadership Through Solitude’, by Raymond M Kethledge and Michael S Erwin, focuses on solitude as an essential practice for effective, high level leadership. Its central thesis is that to lead effectively, you must practise self-leadership and lead yourself first.

Leadership as a quiet journey

My own journey as a leader has a search for solitude as a central piece. When I was invited to speak to a group of emerging leaders, I chose as my topic ‘Leadership: a quiet journey’. I spoke about what I’d learned from my leadership experiences as an INTJ and introvert at the extreme of the spectrum. In this, I drew on learning and evidence from Quiet by Susan Cain and Quiet Influence by Jennifer Kahnweiler.

From experience, I had come to understand the value of making space and time in my day for deep, focused thought.  I realised that my skill in writing was just as effective a leadership strategy as speaking, if not moreso. I had learnt most about leadership when I had no direct line management of people and it was all about self-leadership.

Being quiet, writing, reading books and seeking solitude felt like a curious thing to be talking about in terms of leadership. My discomfort made me realise that my experience was not a subject that was commonly talked about.

The challenges of finding solitude in leadership

Whilst those who are naturally quiet will likely be seeking solitude spaces in their leadership days, the challenges working against it are increasing. The impact of technology and the expectations of always being available make closing the door, going for a walk or putting an hour aside to think all hard things to justify.  Technology and social media contexts create another layer for leaders as they work through the sheer amount of information and people-contact generated. It also promotes the perception of being contactable across all levels of the organisation.

The reality is that, now more than ever, all people regardless of their personality preferences, need to create the space for deep thought and reflection to enable high-level leadership practices. We need the discipline to unplug and connect with ourselves and the larger vision and purpose of our work. We need to be aware of what we are losing by not making this space in our days.

Solitude, self-leadership and leadership qualities

With ‘Lead Yourself First’, Kethledge and Erwin build on the work of Susan Cain and others, extending the context of valuing quiet strengths into the critical difference that practising self-leadership and solitude in leadership can make for all personality types.

Through research, case-studies and interviews with inspiring leaders, the authors make a strong case for establishing the discipline of leadership solitude. They create a space where leadership and solitude can be talked about together more comfortably. In addition, they provide a qualitative evidence base for this.  Most importantly, they provide practical strategies for creating solitude to enable strong self-leadership and through this, the effective leadership of others.

Kethledge and Erwin focus on four leadership qualities that solitude enhances:

  1. clarity
  2. creativity
  3. emotional balance and
  4. moral courage.

Their analysis of each of these qualities is through stories of how leaders have accessed solitude. For example, you can find clarity through both analytical clarity and intuition as shown in contrasting case studies of how Dwight Eisenhower and Jane Goodall honed their leadership skills in different contexts.  

The discipline and practice of solitude

According to Kethledge and Erwin, you can develop the discipline of developing a practice of quiet leadership solitude in two key ways. Firstly, building ‘pockets of solitude’ into your life in a systematic way and secondly, maximising any unexpected solitude opportunities.

These two disciplines weave through the case study and interview stories. Leaders create spaces of self-leadership and solitude in their lives in many ways. These include: running, swimming, walking, writing, tractor driving, reading, going to church and driving. Taking the Viktor Frankl maxim that there is a space between every stimulus and response, the leaders describe how they consistently create and commit to this space to develop considered responses.

Co-author and extrovert Michael Erwin, in his leadership role as an Intelligence Officer in combat zones, regularly went for long runs in 100 plus degree heat in the desert to clear his head and focus on his leadership decisions. Winston Churchill laid bricks as a way of creating a ‘personal bubble of quiet’.

The ability to recognise and make use of unexpected opportunities for solitude is also an art to practice. Events like unexpected life changes, flight delays and cancelled appointments are all potential opportunities for solitude and quiet work. The pandemic environment of covid has created more quiet, alone and creative time for some people with unexpected opportunities of working from home.

Photo by Toni Reed on Unsplash

Effective leadership solitude practice

The book describes effective leadership solitude practices through a series of case studies and interviews drawn from a range of contexts. These include military strategy, politics, education, religious and civil rights, scientific discovery and the corporate world. This is valuable for seeing the universal golden threads of solitude and self-leadership and its empowering capacities for leaders.

Examples of solitude self-leadership practice include:

Writing as clarifying reflection and strategic practice:

Thinking by writing is an underrated strategic and self-leadership skill; however, it has great power to connect thoughts and generate new perspectives. Dwight Eisenhower used the strategy of writing memos to himself as a way of clearing his mind. As he described it: ‘I’m just collecting my thoughts in a structured way.’ (p7).

Winston Churchill, a serious and committed writer, commenced his writing work at 11 pm. The practice was a way of focusing his thoughts and gaining historical perspective. The power of writing gave him the ability to speak with courage and authority as reflected in his speeches of the time.

Photo by Green Chameleon on Unsplash

Moral courage and seeing solitude as a first principle:

Brene Brown says in her interview that the biggest mistake can be seeing solitude as a luxury. She stresses the need for it as a first principle. Whilst the social pressures to resist solitude are ever present, the courage required is worth it. As Kethledge and Erwin reinforce, solitude is ‘not the reward for great leadership but the path to it.’ (p138)

Choosing to reclaim solitude in leadership

The authors encourage readers to reclaim solitude in leadership. They provide suggestions for practical change for creating leadership solitude in contemporary times. The first and most encompassing is to reset the explicit expectations around how you plan to work differently.

Strategies include: identifying a certain number of ‘no meeting’ days a month; setting aside time to think as an identified part of the day; setting a policy of no email communication over the weekend; and more explicitly talking about the need for solitude in the workplace.

Finding physical solitude havens such as the workplace library or other quiet locations is a suggested strategy. Working from home is an option we can all hopefully explore more in current times. Identifying the life activities that help achieve the leadership qualities needed is also highlighted. This includes meditation for emotional balance, journal writing for clarity or movement for mental stillness.

Like the feelings I experienced in speaking to emerging leaders about my quiet leadership journey, we may initially feel uncomfortable in talking about solitude practices or acting on them. They may be challenging for others or we may risk being seen as non-conformist. The authors highlight that the greater consequence is a loss of priorities as we drown in lack of focus.

Contribution to solitude in leadership

‘Lead Yourself First’ is a valuable contribution to the field of leadership and to the subject of quiet influence. Susan Cain’s book, Quiet, helped make being an introvert easier to understand and talk about. I hope this book makes it easier for leaders to carve solitude into their days and to speak about it.

The experience of reading this book was, in itself, one of intense reflective solitude on my own practices. It is one I encourage you to engage in also to consider your own self-leadership practices whether you are a leader or not. I hope this book leads to people focusing on the higher purposes of leadership and to practising self-leadership, in contrast to the moment to moment response to the latest email or crisis.

As David Whyte reminds us in Crossing the Unknown Sea: Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity:

‘Our bodies and our personalities are vessels, and leadership, like captaincy, is a full inhabitation of the vessel.’

We can all only benefit from that fuller inhabitation that such moments of solitude and self-leadership provide.

Author note

This post was originally a guest post for WorkSearch published on their site in 2017. As their site is no longer live, it is reproduced here with amendments to reflect current times. Thanks to Bree Rackley for social media and guest posting support for the initial guest posting.

It’s fascinating how this post written a few years ago now resonates so strongly as many deal with increased solitude and quiet away from workplace environments. I hope these insights are helpful to see the opportunities for solitude and self-leadership where we can in challenging times.

Warmest wishes

Terri

About the author

Terri Connellan

Terri Connellan is a Sydney-based certified life coach, author and psychological type practitioner accredited in the Majors Personality Type Inventory™ and Majors PT-Elements™. She has a Master of Arts in Language and Literacy, two teaching qualifications and a successful 30-year career as a teacher of reading and writing and a leader in adult vocational education. Her coaching and writing focus on three elements—creativity, personality and self-leadership—especially for women in transition to a life with deeper purpose. Terri works with women globally through her creative business, Quiet Writing, encouraging deeper self-understanding of body of work, creativity and psychological type for more wholehearted and fulfilling lives. Her book ‘Wholehearted: Self-leadership for women in transition’ will be published in 2021 by the kind press.

Book your Self-leadership Discovery Call with Terri here.

Further related reading on Quiet Writing:

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